Finding the Truth
by MacAttack5
Summary: Julia Samuels comes to Gotham to find the truth that she's been asking her whole life, who her father is. But, sometimes the truth isn't what you expect and it sends her into a downspiral filled with scars and insanity that only she can escape. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1 Hopes and Dreams

**_This is my first Batman fanfic, so it may have some character errors, sorry bout that. This story isn't what you think it's going to be like. It's not going to be like Julia goes off and finds her dad the Joker and teaches him to be good and stuff like that. Nope, that's stupid, and it wouldn't happen. I'm trying (hopefully) to make this story realistic, like it could happen in the Batman world. Just so you know, Julia's Mom obviously has no clue that her daughter's father is the Joker, since he was Jack Napier when she knew him. I like constructive cristiscm, but no fire please, no one likes that. Please review, I want to know how I did. I'll update if there's interest. Enjoy! _**

_

* * *

  
_

My Mom never really told me much about my dad. She said that he left town a long time ago, before I was born. If I ask her any more she just gets ticked off and says, "Julia Samuels forget about it!" My grandparents were not amused when they found out that she was pregnant at 15. They supported her, but by the time she finished school, they pretty much kicked her out. So you have an 18 year old girl with a three-year old kid, she's not all too bright and what do you think she's going to do?  
She got a job as a stripper and made enough money to buy an apartment for us. She made some friends, who would baby-sit me while she worked, and her boss was surprisingly obliging, maybe because she was one of his best dancers. He allowed her to set up a playpen in the back room for me to sleep in while she worked. You're probably a little surprised at all of this, but she made enough money, and was old enough to take care of me, so the social workers gave us little trouble.

That was my childhood, and by the time I was nine, I learned to take care of myself. My Mom worked long hours, and sometimes spent long periods of time at men's houses so I learned how to do things without her. I worked hard in school, since I had learned early on that you can't depend on anyone. I had to get scholarships to get out. I didn't have many friends, most Moms didn't want their kids associating with some stripper's kid, and they stayed clear. But I had a couple of close friends that I could trust, and they helped lighten the long years of my childhood.

I was a dreamer, and I loved to make up stories. On the playground, I was the one my friends would go to for new games to play, and my teachers frequently told me to be quiet and sit, I could never stay still for long. I still can't. Though I got very good grades, I was in trouble a lot, I didn't like rules, and felt like they were trying to control you, warp you in some sort of robot. My teachers often complained to my Mom, but she didn't care all too much. I'm not saying she hated me, she did love me in some way, but wasn't much of a mother. So I continued breaking the rules and dreaming, no one could stop me.

Since my Mom didn't tell me much about my dad, it left me a lot of room to imagine. I made him as the kind of dad who would love me more than life itself. He would play with me all the time and help me with my homework. He would hold me tight when I was scared, and always be there when I would come home. He would kiss me goodnight and tuck me in, something that I had never experienced. And most of all he would always be smiling, and never frown at me, or get angry for no reason. He was the perfect dad, and I was going to find him.

I don't know when I started becoming obsessed with finding my father, maybe it was when I asked my Mom for the billionth time where he went and she told me that he went to Gotham City, but I became obsessed. I learned everything I could about Gotham, everything, thinking that the more I knew, the better chance I had of finding him. I learned about the large amount of crime there, and the death of Dr. Thomas Wayne and his wife, Martha Wayne. I read everything there was about this city, from the famous rich people, to the police reports of thousands of criminals. I was addicted.

Years went by, and I grew older. My years in high school flew by, filled with my homework, my part-time job, and a couple of boyfriends. But what seemed to take over was my continued Gotham obsession. Things had gotten a lot more intense in the last couple of years. It was common for many of my friends to be gushing over the son of Thomas Wayne, Bruce Wayne, who was the main star crush for most. But that wasn't what interested me as much. It was Batman. It amazed me that there was this ordinary man, who was trying to make Gotham a better place. I followed news reports, and watched the news channel from the city. We lived only three hours away, and I used television and the internet to experience the antics of this caped crusader.

This was interrupted by some sort of crazy criminal clown, the Joker. It seemed like this city was becoming a comic book, what with crazy villains and superhero's. I'd be lying if I said the Joker didn't frighten me, he did. Sometimes, I had nightmares, but they always became dreams when the Batman showed up to save me. I followed everything that happened, from his threatening to kill civilians if the Batman didn't show his identity to the Jokers sudden change of heart, and the ferry incident.

I saw the moment when it became clear that the DA of Gotham, Harvey Dent, was dead, and the news said that Batman was now wanted, that he had killed five people. When I first discovered that Batman was a murderer, I could barely breathe. I didn't believe it, I couldn't believe it. How could my hero do such a thing? I convinced myself that he hadn't, but then who did? I couldn't believe that Batman would do something like that. He was a knight, saving not killing. This crushing blow did nothing but increase my desire to go to Gotham. Not just to find my father, but to find out more about those five murders. I wanted to clear Batman's name, I wanted to save my hero.

My last year of school ended, and I was free. My dream for the longest time had been to be a reporter in Gotham, and it fitted perfectly into my plan. I had worked my butt off to the get the scholarship to apprentice as a reporter in Gotham, and I got it. Usually, it's a good idea to go through college first to boost your chances of getting a better job, but Gotham was a place very few wanted to be, and since my marks were so good, they wanted me!

When my mother found out, she was furious.

"After all I've given you, your leaving me?" She had sobbed, her face broken. "I love you Julia, I'm your mother, and you can't go!" This statement enraged me. How dare she say I owed her anything! She had done nothing for me, she had said she loved me all too infrequently, and had barely been home.

"I don't care." I said, my eyes burning with rage. "You don't care about me, you never did. Your were never there, I took care of myself for most of my life. You never paid me any attention. I need to get out of here, and away form you."

"Don't go please!" She sobbed, grabbing at my shirt. I smelt alcohol. I shook my head, disgusted.

"Why should I stay? So I become some sort of stripper like you? No, you can't stop me. I'm leaving this hellhole, and that's that." She looked up at me, her eyes pleading. I hated her for it. I hated her for trying to make me stay; it made me want to grab her around the neck and squeeze….I shook my head. _No_, I told myself. That was a horrible thought. Batman would never do that.

"I need to go; I need to find my dad." I told her.

"That bastard?" She shrieked, suddenly angry. "No, he doesn't care about you."

"He doesn't know about me." I snarled.

"It doesn't matter; he slept with me, and then took off!" She growled. "No he wouldn't care."

"I don't believe you." I hissed. "And I need to go, or I'll be late for my train."

"Wait, please, if I give you something of your fathers, will you stay?"

"I thought it was a one-nighter." I mocked, turning to look at her.

"It was, but he was in my class in school, I have his picture." She tottered into her room and came out with scissors and a yearbook. "Here." She opened it and cut out a picture, then handed it to me. I took it with shaking hands, and looked at my father. My mother was right that I looked nothing like her, I looked just like him. He was quite good looking, and was very thin, a trait which I had obtained. His hair was stringy and blonde and brown. My hair was the same colour, but curly, like my mothers. His face was just like mine except thinner and less rough. His nose, his ears, even his eyes: dark almost black brown, were just like mine. I looked to his name. Jack Napier. My mind whirled and I looked back up at my mother, who was looking at me hopefully, her mascara running down her face like polluted tears.

"So you'll stay?" She whispered, looking like a child. I grabbed my bag, and stuffed the picture in my pocket. I handed her a piece of paper.

"This is the number of my apartment." She grabbed at it whimpering.

"Please don't leave me, I love you, doesn't that matter?"

"No." I said. "Maybe you should have tried those words ten years ago." She got up and threw her arms around me. I patted her back till I realized that she had passed out. I let her drop to the ground and glared at her through misty eyes. I opened the door and slammed it shut leaving my past behind.

"Nowhere to go but forward." I whispered, and I took my first steps toward my future and Gotham.

* * *

**  
**

**_So? Please review, and I hope its alright._**


	2. Chapter 2 Gotham City

**HI! THANKS FOR THE REVIEW'S I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT THERE'S SOME INTEREST IN THIS STORY. THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY LONG, MOSTLY BECAUSE I WANT TO GET JULIA TO GOTHAM AND SETTLED AS QUICKLY AS I CAN. I EMBRACE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, AND I LOVE SUGGESTIONS!**

**OH YEAH, I FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER LAST CHAPTER**

**_DISCLAIMER: I DON'T ANY OF THE DC COMIC CHARACTERS BUT I WISH I DID. JULIA SAMUELS AND OTHER NON DC COMIC CHARACTERS ARE MINE!!_**

* * *

The pitter patter of rain against the window woke me up, and I opened my eyes to look outside. Through the steady on-pour of rain, I could see the lights and skyscrapers of Gotham City. My chest tightened in excitement, and I smiled.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be arriving in Gotham City in just a few minutes," said a woman's voice from the intercom. "Please gather your belongings, and prepare for arrival." I grabbed my book from the table, To Kill a Mocking Bird, one of my favorites, and stuffed it into my bag along with the bottle of coke I'd been drinking. I peered out the window again, trying to get a better look at the city itself, shaking with excitement. To think that I would soon be there, in Gotham! And it was dark, oh god, Batman was here, maybe even out, prowling the streets for criminals to bring to justice. I grinned widely, knowing it was stupid to think that on my first day that I would be seeing Batman around. He didn't walk into supermarkets or take the bus! Still, it gave me shivers to know that I was so close. An elderly man across from me smiled.

"First time in Gotham?" He asked.

"Yes" I said breathlessly.

"Well," He said his smile fading. "It isn't all it's cracked up to be. Gotham City's a brute of a place, and if you're not prepared, it'll eat you alive." My face melted, surprised. He just stared at me and continued. "You look like my granddaughter did when she came here." I just stared at him, wondering why he was telling me these things. His face was cold and hard, and he continued. "She was mugged just a couple of days after arriving, left to die, on the streets. My daughter was the one who found her, when she hadn't returned home. I came with her to search the girl, and watched as my daughter clutched her lifeless body, and watched the life go out of her."

"I'm sorry," I stammered.

"That won't make her come back." Whispered the man. He got up. "Watch your back miss, and don't trust anyone." He left the train, and I starred after him, suddenly apprehensive.

What was I doing? I was 18, almost 19, and I was going to the number 1 crime city in North America. There were all classes of criminals here, ready to tear me to pieces. And what about the Joker? I shuddered as the train came to a stop. I hated how much fear that one man installed in my heart. I'd lived in the rough part of town, I'd seen pretty horrible things, but the face of a crazy clown on TV seemed to scare me more and more. Just a couple of weeks ago I wasn't nearly as frightened, but I'd started to have nightmares, and they got worse and worse.

I sighed heavily. Why should I be worried? The clown was in Arkham, he wasn't getting out soon. And I'd be fine, I would be working for the city's top news station, Gotham Tonight, and they weren't going to leave me to fend for myself. I wasn't even living in one of the darker areas; it would be way better then my old neighborhood. I knew how to take care of myself. And just in case….. I fingered the pocket knife in my coat pocket, as I headed out of my compartment, and toward the exit. It wasn't much, but I'd always had it, to fend off anyone who came near me, and it helped to be prepared.

As I exited the train, I looked around for my mentor from Gotham tonight. We'd only spoken over the phone and all I knew was that she was just a few years older then I, having been the last apprentice, her name was Marissa Kelly, and she would be wearing a red coat and brown scarf. I saw her standing near the back of the crowded station, looking around for me fervently. I raised my hand in the air to get her attention, and moved through the crowd. She saw me and grinned when I finally reached her.

"Julia Samuels I presume?" She asked? Her voice sounded the same as it had on the phone; bubbly and carefree, with a hint of a British accent, having moved here from England just seven years ago. She looked like a Barbie, with a wide smile and bright blonde hair, carefully blow-dried.

"Yes and your Marissa Kelly?" I asked smiling painfully back at her. She giggled and grabbing my bags, we walked out of the station into the rain. Running through the downpour we didn't have time to talk till we got to her car, where we threw my bags in the trunk. We then jumped into our seats soaking wet, Marissa grinning foolishly, and me with that fake smile still plastered on my face. She started the car and we headed out of the parking lot. I looked through the windows, my mouth open in awe of the city and all its lights.

"My guess is you're from a small town?" Said Marissa, laughing at me.

"Yes, I am, it's been my dream since I was 10 to come here." I replied brushing my wet scraggly hair out of my face. I saw my hair in the mirror and my eyes widened a bit. My hair may be curly like my mothers, but when wet, it looked just like my fathers.

"Well Gotham's the best place to be if you want to be a reporter." Replied Marissa, as she weaved expertly between traffic. "Mind you though, you have to be careful, and you need to be willing to put your life on the line if you want the good jobs." I nodded.

"That's not a problem." I said to my surprise. "So, where are we heading?"

"Well, I'm taking you to your apartment, which, luckily is in my building. It's perfect. You would be stupid to come to Gotham for the first time and not have an escort." To my disgust, I blushed, thankful that she was so welcoming.

"Thanks so much for this; you don't know how much this means to me." I said. She smiled, her eyes focused on the road. We stopped at a traffic light, and I recognized the street names.

"Aren't we turning that way?" I asked, pointing to the right. She looked at me confused. "Why?"

"Well, since the apartment is on Maple Street, then you can go to the right down White Horn, then take a right to James, and take it to Maple." She looked at me shocked.

"I thought you said that this was your first time in the city, how would you know that?"

"Oh." I said, trying not to blush. "I told you I've been obsessed with Gotham since I was 10, I've memorized pretty much every street in Gotham." I grimaced at her laugh, and sighed. God was that smile surgically applied to her face?

"Alright, I'll take your word for it, she said, and took the right. We drove along and I looked up at all the buildings and all the people walking about outside.

"This is a really safe part of Gotham," Said Marissa, as she turned onto James Street. "The rent is a little more then other places, but it's worth it. You have less a chance of getting mugged or something like that when you're here. But it can happen." She gave me a glance, and I saw that her face was serious for the first time. "It's not a good idea to wander the streets by-yourself, always have someone with you." I nodded, rolling my eyes a bit_. Simple safety rules. Blah Blah Blah._ Wasn't like I'd have any problem if someone jumped me. Living practically by-yourself, you had to take precautions. I've been attacked before, and my pocket knife did just fine. A quick jab and they let go, easily.

"Well, look at that, your shortcut worked." Said Marissa as she turned into the parking lot, flashing her apartment card at the attendant.

_Course it did._ I thought, pleased with myself. She parked her car, and we got out and hurriedly grabbed my bags raced inside to get out of the rain, which was still coming down.

"You're right on my floor, just across the hall from me." Said Marissa, as we rode in the elevator. I smiled a bit, excited to see my first apartment. I had saved up a lot of money working at my part-time job, and I had chosen the furniture from a second-hand catalog. The apartments rent had been paid for by Gotham Tonight for five months to help me get on my feet, and they had assisted with the cost of some of the furniture. They were incredibly considerate, and I knew that it was because this was such a rough place to be a reporter in. They didn't want you backing out. I was surprised they hadn't made me sign a contract.

I used my brand new key to unlock the apartment and gasped. The seller really did say it had a great view, it was filled with windows. The kitchen was just beside the living room and when I peeked down the hallway I could see the bathroom and my room. It was quite small, but with its high ceiling and large amount of windows it was perfect. The apartment was definitely quite an achievement for a first home. All the furniture was covered with plastic, and my dishes and other belongings were all in boxes, scattered about in the living room.

"It's really quite small," sniffed Marissa from the doorway. "But for your first apartment, it's quite good. I turned to her

"It's amazing." She smiled. "I'd invite you in, but I really need to unpack everything." I continued, pointing to the boxes.

"I can help if you want," she said. I grinned again, the muscles of my mouth feeling sore from so much smiling.

"That would be great, thanks." I replied. We took off our coats and started in on the boxes. The TV had already been hooked up, and I turned it on, not knowing what channel to go to.

"Go to 28 if you want Gotham Tonight," Said Marissa form the kitchen where she was unpacking dishes. "But don't stay there forever, my favorite soaps on and I want to watch that." I flicked to 28 where the new head anchorman, Jeffery Anderson was talking. The old one had reportedly fled after the death of reporter Mike Engle, who the city had watched on one of the Jokers home made video's before dying. I tuned in to Jeffery Anderson's voice as I headed over to unwrap the plastic off the couch.

"21 year-old Sarah Henderson was found this afternoon dead in an alleyway on McCauley Avenue, suspect of rape. The police are further investigating the crime, and will not answer any of our questions." I stiffened, and my hands clenched, the nails digging into my skin. I shook slightly, ignoring the TV for a minute, trying to calm myself. I finally loosened my hands, and saw the dents in my skin from my nails. Rape was a sore topic. I was confused by the fact that it seemed that in pretty much every case, the woman was the victim. It made me feel helpless, and submissive.

"Batman supporters held a protest on the steps of city hall yesterday, saying that Batman had been wrongly accused of his crimes, and was innocent. The protest soon became violent, and they infiltrated and held part of city hall, until Gotham Policy arrived and ended the situation, taking fifteen protesters, including leader Thomas Perry into custody." I turned to the screen where you could see hundreds of people in black masks with pointy ears, carrying threatening signs. The screen flickered back to Jeffery Anderson.

"On a lighter note, it's been almost four months with the Joker off our streets. The police and Arkham staffs have refused to give information on his treatments that he reportedly undergoes daily. A picture of the Joker appeared on the screen, and I closed my eyes, willing the face to go away, taking my fear with it. Fear was weak, and being weak was something that just makes one more vulnerable.

I ignored the news for a while as I finished unwrapping the couch and started opening the second hand navy blue rug I had bought for my living room. Jeffery Anderson continued with less important events, and I didn't pay attention till I heard Bruce Wayne's name, and a small shriek form the kitchen, where Marissa came peeling around the corner, standing front of the TV.

"And lastly, Bruce Wayne was recently reported to have ended another relationship, and is currently dating Victoria Secret model Lilia Burns." Marissa sighed, and I smirked.

"Tomorrow evening, why did Batman kill five people, two of them police officers? Gotham's top psychologists will tell us their views. I'm Jeffery Anderson, and have a good evening." The channel went to commercials and Marissa grabbed the remote, changing it to the soap. I stared at the TV. It was different, watching it at home then here. At home, it had been more like a scary movie, but here it was real.

"That's only this evening's news." Said Marissa, seeing my shocked face. "The morning's the worst, but the evening's nothing. You wait till the Joker gets out, everything will triple." I shook my head.

"So you think he'll get out eventually, even with all that security?"

"There's a big difference to reading about what he does then actually experiencing them." Replied Marissa. "No offense, but you don't know what that man's capable of." I could tell that the conversation had ended and went to help Marissa move the couch.

It took a lot less time to unpack with Marissa, but I had to tell her to go home at 12:00, even though we were not finished. I could tell she was tired, and I could barely keep my eyes open. I finally got her to go, by promising her that I would come by her apartment at 8:00, so she could show me around, and help me with my shopping. But, I had grudgingly agreed. It wasn't like I enjoyed Marissa's company, except that she was tiring, and too bubbly for my liking. However, I knew that it would be a good idea to pursue friendship with her; she was a good person to have close to you. Even though I probably knew more about Gotham then she did, there really was a difference to reading about it and experiencing it.

As soon as she left, I went to my room, threw pajamas on, fished my pocket knife out of my pant pocket, and collapsed onto my bed. I lay there in the dark, listening to the noises of the streets, the subdued pitter pattering of rain, and the far off sirens. I flicked my knife open, and ran my hand along the blade. It calmed me, the cold steel running along my skin. It was powerful, and dangerous, but beautiful, smooth and silver, moonlight making it glint in the dark. I flicked it shut, but held it tightly as my eyes slowly closed, and my mind wandered.

I couldn't believe I was here in Gotham. It frightened me as much as it excited me. I was one huge step closer to clearing Batman's name, and for all I knew, my father could be just a couple of miles away just waiting for me, ready to smile and pull me into a tight embrace. I could just see his loving smile, and I could feel the warmth spreading though me, pushing out the blackness, and letting in the light.

* * *

I was getting tired of this place. It had been fun, aggravating the doctors, and that great move with the fork in the eye of the old security guard, not to mention taking that club from the same guard and using it beat my first doctor to death with. I smiled at the memory, the twisted faces of anguish, and the lovely colour of warm blood. I bit at my scars impatiently, twitching slightly. Even Burns the wannabe Doctor Phil miracle doctor, with eight university degrees was getting boring. I shook my cuffs impatiently. Enough was enough. I used my tongue to finger the metal pick drilled through one of my back molars. It was right inside the tooth, oblivious unless you took the molars out. I wondered how long it would take to get that security guard to knock out some teeth. I eyed my steel handcuffs, they would do fine. This place was in for a make over, and Gotham was in for rude awakening.

* * *

**SO? PLEASE REVUEW AND TELL ME HOW I DID. IF YOU DIDN'T GET IT, THAT WAS THE JOKER AT THE ENDING. I WON'T BE DOING MANY OTHER POINTS OF VIEWS TO THIS STORY, ITS JULIA'S, BUT I NEED TO DO SOME TO GIVE A CLUE TO WHAT IS OGIGN ON. I'M ALSO NOT BRAVE ENOUGH TO WRITE ALOT OF JOKERS POINT OF VIEW! IT'S PRETTY NOTICEABLE, BUT JUST TO INFORM YOU, I HATE MAIN CHARACTERS WHO ARE PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL, SMART AND NICE. JULIA'S NOT LIKE THIS, SHE HAS SOME SERIOUS ISSUES, AND MAYBE ISN'T ALL TOO PLEASENT AT TIMES, WHICH WILL BE EXPLAINED MORE LATER. ANYWAY, PLEASE REVIEW, AND I'LL UPDATE AS SOON AS I CAN.**


	3. Chapter 3 Nightmare

**Hi! I had to do some fixups on this chapter, and it's not too exciting till the end, but I had to introduce Julia to her job. Don't worry, everything's pretty intense from here. Sorry if it's not as crisp as usual. I had a basketball tournament this weekend and hit my head yesterday. I might have had a minor concussion but I'm way better now, it's not liek I'm forgetting stuff, I'm just really tired, so I didn't correct my grammer that well. Hope you like it and thanks for all the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any DC comic characters, but I own all the other ones!**

* * *

I rapped on Marissa's door, yawning. I'd fallen asleep quickly, and slept soundly through the night. It was the first time I hadn't had a nightmare and woken up in cold sweat, and I was pleased. Marissa threw open the door and grinned at me.

"Hey Julia! Well rested?" I nodded. "Good, cause we have a big day ahead of us!" She locked her door, grabbed her purse and headed downstairs with me. The sun was out, and the heat was already drying the pavement from the downpour last night. We headed out in Marissa's car, and she turned on one of her favorite radio stations and sang softly along to the words.

We stopped at a donut shop to grab some coffee and muffins, and headed down towards main street, Marissa pointing out sights along the way.

"That big building in the distance is Wayne Enterprises, and to your left is town hall, and to the right is the best club in the city, we have to go there sometime…." I tuned out her blabbing, and concentrated on the sights that lay before me. I watched the hordes of people walking down the sidewalk, and saw the many different important government officials hurrying up and down the steps of town hall. I saw the police cars blending in with the traffic, and saw the many different ads for everything I could think of. There were ads for special skin cream, many different clothes stores, and hit plays and movies coming out. We turned off Main Street, and down another crowded area, where I could see that the theatres were all located. The bright colours of the buildings invited you to see many different shows and I was drawn into them, my eyes wide with shock.

"This is one of my favorite streets too." Said Marissa glancing at me. "The colours are fantastic; it makes you want to see everything." I nodded.

"I really want to go to a play." I replied wistfully, watching as the theatres flew by. "I've never been to one."

"Never been?" Marissa shrieked, and I winced at the loud noise. "Oh Julia, we should go together!" I smiled at her.

"Sure," I said. I'd always wanted to see a play, to see the drama right in front of your eyes. It was nothing like watching a movie, it was real. Marissa turned the corner and down one that was right across form Main Street.

"We need to head in to Gotham Tonight today." She said as we drove toward the station. "You need to see your office and-"

"I have an office?" I interrupted, surprised.

"All the reporters have an "office"." Replied Marissa. "It's not like a huge executive one, just a small place to find information for your assignments, or to write a story for the paper."

"Oh right." I'd forgotten that Gotham Tonight doubled as the Gotham Times newspaper. The companies were conjoined, and there would be times when I would be assigned to write an article for the paper. Marissa directed her car to the underground parking lot, flashing her card at the attendant. We got out and hurried toward the elevator. I counted the stops, and we arrived at the top floor, where "Gotham Tonight" was broadcasted, and where all the executives had their offices.

Marissa headed out of the elevator with me in tow, bug eyed. She walked right toward the studio itself and motioning me to be quiet, opened the door quietly. We walked quietly down a small hallway with a huge window on one side. I glanced at the window, and saw to my surprise, Jeffery Anderson sitting in front of the cameras, reporting on the morning's news. Marissa giggled at me gaping like a fish and grabbing my arm, pulled me forwards.

We went into another hallway, which had a bunch of doors on the right side. Marissa went up to one, and knocked smartly, the noise echoing down the hall. A dark haired woman opened the door, and looked at both of us, with her perfectly plucked eyebrows raised in surprise. She looked to be in her late thirties, and it seemed as if every part of her was perfectly in place. Her face was perfectly symmetrical, and her makeup was applied so flawlessly that it looked professionally done. She wore a pencil skirt and black blouse, with white earrings and a necklace and it looked like something out of a catalog.

"Good morning Marissa." Said the woman. She sounded straightforward, to the point, very professional.

"Good morning Ms. Jones." Replied Marissa. "This is Julia Samuels; she's the new field reporter apprentice." I smiled at Ms. Jones, and she nodded back smiling slightly.

"It's nice to finally meet you Julia." I shook hands with her.

"It's nice to meet you too." I said, my stomach flip-flopping with nervousness. Ms. Jones led us into her office, and Marissa and I sat down in two chairs in front of her desk.

"Well Julia you made it here safely I presume." I nodded my mouth dry. "And Marissa helped you get settled.

"Oh yes." I said, finally getting my voice back. "She's been great; I don't know what I would do without her." I could see Marissa blushing crimson at my words and I smiled.

"Well that's wonderful." Said Ms Jones briskly, and she turned to the folder on her desk, which had my name on it. "Julia, this great opportunity that you have received, working for this station." I nodded. "Unlike many other reporting businesses, our reporters start off big. There is just too much to do in this city. It's tough going, and dangerous." I nodded again.

"I know." I replied.

"You will start work tomorrow, and will stay with Marissa. You will follow her to her jobs, and help her with whatever she needs." She looked down at my file and back up again. "I'm in charge of all the field reporters; I give them assignments and send their tapings to the people in charge of the final product. I don't believe in starting reporters off slow, giving those little jobs like "woman turns 120" and working their way up. You will go to what ever Marissa is assigned to, and if you can cope, you will be assigned to whatever comes up." I nodded, swelling with excitement.

"There will also be times where you will have to research and write an article for the paper." She glanced down at my folder. "I see you are extremely skilled in that area, so you may be doing a lot of journalism."

"Yes, I enjoy researching and writing." I replied. "And I'm not afraid to do whatever there is needed to." Ms. Jones smiled at me.

"Well that's very dedicated of you." She frowned. "Or very foolish." Ms. Jones shut my folder and we all stood up. "We'll just have to wait and see which person you are." She led the way out of the room, and after raising my eyebrows at Marissa, we followed.

We walked out of the production area and back into the elevator, then down two floors.

"This is where the reporter offices are." Said Ms. Jones as she led the way down the hall. We came to a door, which unlike the others, didn't have a name on it.

"This is yours," Said Ms Jones. She used a key to unlock it and I saw a small room with beige walls and generic pictures. There two large windows overlooking main street, and a small wooden desk with a decent computer on it. I sat down in the chair at the desk, and ran my fingers over the smooth wooden surface. I looked up at Ms. Jones and smiled.

"It's perfect." Ms Jones shook her head, smiling ever so slightly.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoy it." She looked towards Marissa. "I'll leave you in good hands and I expect you to be with Marissa for the next couple of days to learn the ropes." She glanced down at my folder once again. "Oh, I see on here that your birthday is today." Her stern mouth twitched. "Happy birthday." With that she turned and briskly left the room, her high heels clicking down the hall. I looked up at Marissa.

"This is amazing." I whispered.

"Yeah it's a great opportunity," Said Marissa her eyes wide. "Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday today?" I sighed embarrassedly; I couldn't believe I hadn't remembered.

"I forgot."

"You forgot your BIRTHDAY?" Marissa yelped.

"Yeah, my Mom was never really into birthdays and I was just so excited about being in Gotham that I didn't remember. It's no big deal I-"

"No big deal?" yelped Marissa. "Of course it's a big deal! Here, I'll just run to my

Office for a minute and then we'll go out for a birthday lunch." She raced out of the room, and I watched her go. I couldn't believe that she would go to all this trouble for me. It made me feel so happy and thankful, no one had ever done so much; my mother hadn't really cared, so I thought it wasn't a big deal. I never told anyone. It had never really bothered me and I'd never thought that they were really important. I had completely forgotten that it was my birthday. I didn't even know it was September 21rst, I thought it was the 14th, a week before. Marissa came running back into the room; her cheeks flushed red and her face white with excitement, making her look like a china doll.

"Come on, let's go!" She said and I walked with her out of my office, making sure to lock it before I left.

Marissa and I strolled down the theater street, licking ice creams and gaping at the beautiful buildings. She had refused to let me pay for anything, saying that it was my birthday, and I should be spoiled. I don't know how she did it, but she even got the waiter to sing happy birthday to me, and give me cake which had the number 19 written in icing. I remembered that embarrassing moment and grimaced on the inside.

Marissa left me in an expensive clothing store, and hurried off again, saying that she had forgotten something at the restaurant. I wandered through the store, looking at all the different clothes, my mind elsewhere. I wasn't much a fashion dresser, I loved to wear scarves, and owned nice but comfortable clothes, nice enough for work, but not painful to wear.

But, I wasn't clothes shopping; I was pondering Marissa's kindness. Why would she care so much? I'd only known her for two days; we weren't that close, yet she was buying me lunch and celebrating my birthday? What gave her the right to be nice to me? Why did she care so much? Why was she making me feel warm inside, happy and content? My hands clenched together. I didn't want to feel indebted to her, but I already was. She had helped me so much in these past two days, now I owed her. I didn't like that. It did no good to depend on others, they would be there for a while, but not when it really mattered. They wouldn't be there to break your fall when you fell; they'd only be there as long as you were up. I ground my teeth together. How dare she! I was going to tell the second she came back that I didn't want her charity, her _generosity_. And if she didn't leave me alone I'd….I'd….Marissa came around the corner, brandishing in her hand two tickets.

"Look what I got!" She crowed. "I didn't know what play you would want to go to so I got tickets to see Dirty Dancing! Its one of my favorite movies ever, you'll love it!" My face melted when I saw those tickets. My anger was washed away by a flood of emotions.

"You got tickets to see a play?" I whispered.

"Yeah, I thought that'd be the best present of all. It's tonight, but I have connections at the Edmonton theatre. I was assigned to do a review for one of their shows, and they owed me." I grinned at her; my face lit up, and I hugged her.

"Thank-you so much!" I shrieked, earning a few irritated glances from shoppers, but I didn't care. I was going to a play, nothing could bring me down.

I leaned back on my pillows sighing contently. The play had been amazing. I wasn't big on love stories, but it had been the actual theatre, the props and the actors themselves that had amazed me. Everything had been beautiful and so perfectly performed. I had totally forgotten how angry I had been at Marissa, and I was glad I hadn't done anything stupid. I was so tired I didn't even need my pocket knife to calm me, and I fell asleep instantly.

* * *

_I was on a rooftop high above Gotham city. Everything was dark; all I could see were shapes. Suddenly a mass of black came out of nowhere and pinned me to the ground, just before a knife whizzed by, right through where I'd been standing. I looked up and saw my savior had a black mask with pointed ears. _

"_Don't move." Said the savior in a hoarse voice. Batman got up and stood crouched looking for the thrower of the knife. I raised my head slightly to see what was going on. A purpled glove grabbed at Batman's throat, and the other hand pinned his arms. That's when I saw the face. A face right out of hell itself. The makeup was angrily applied, a white face, haunting black eyes, and red smudged along two scars, one on either side of its mouth. His Green hair looked like worms, the effect of his scars made his smile look like one that belonged to your worst nightmare. It was him, oh god it was him. I scrambled to my feet, and watched as Batman began to choke. But I couldn't save him, that face had me frozen, all I could see was that face. The face kicked a gun my way. _

"_Kill me." Said the monster. I couldn't move, I couldn't do it. _

"_Kill me," repeated the monster, licking his lips. "Kill me or he dies." The monster laughed horribly, and I sank to the ground. I tried to reach for the gun but couldn't. The monster took a knife and slit the throat of Batman, and I watched through blurred eyes as he fell to the ground. I screamed, the pain, it felt like I was being stabbed over and over. I looked up and saw the face laughing at my pain. I tried to look away form the face but I couldn't. I couldn't move, I couldn't' speak. I stopped in mid scream. The stabbing was gone but the pain wasn't. Everything was turning red, he was gone, she was gone. _

"_You're no better then me." Whispered the monster in my ear. "Why didn't you do it? You could have saved him, you could have saved her." It cackled in my ear, and I felt a blade in my mouth. "There dead, you could have saved them but you didn't." The face looked down at me laughing with delight and dragged the knife along my mouth. Now I could scream, and I did._

_

* * *

  
_

"Julia, open the door, open it right now!!" My eyes opened and I sat up, breathing like I'd run a marathon. I ran to the door and caught a glance in the mirror as I ran. I was sweating profusely, my hair was plastered to my face and my eyes were wide with fear, my face white with shock. I threw open the door, and saw Marissa standing there with messed hair and bags under her eyes. I glanced at the clock. It was four in the morning.

"What is it?" I whispered shivering with fear. Marissa looked at me with fear.

"I could hear you screaming, are you all right?" I nodded, cursing myself.

"Yes, yes I'm okay." I snapped. "What is it?"

"We need to go to the station right now." Said Marissa, and I caught a glimmer of fear in her eyes. "It's the Joker, he's escaped."

* * *

**So? I know some of you may be wondering how she could forget her birthday, but if it was never really important, it wouldn't be hard. I needed some way for Julia to realize that Marissa was her friend, and it seemed like the best way. So please review and I'll update as soon as I can, exams are coming! Ack!**


	4. Chapter 4 Arkham Asylum

**ALRIGHT, THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY LONG, AND I'M SO SORRY, BUT THERE REALLY WAS NO WAY I COULD CUT IT DOWN, I NEEDED EVERYTHING. SO I'M REALLY SORRY. I FOUDN THIS CHAPTER REALLY HARD TO WRITE, BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!**

* * *

I slumped to the ground, my face white, my eyes filled with shameful tears. Marissa kneeled down beside me taking my hand in hers. I looked up at her and saw the fear in her eyes. She was worried for me.

"Julia, are you okay?" She asked softly.

"Yes." I whispered, my eyes focusing on something else. I could see that face, I could see the blood, I could see _her_, lying dead on the ground in that alleyway, eyes vacant, unseeing.

"It's okay to be scared Julia, it really is." I looked at her and saw the concern in her eyes. "Everyone's scared right now, it's only natural." I shook my head and stood up shakily.

"I'm not scared, I'm fine." I said sternly.

"But-"

"I said I'm fine." I snapped, glaring at Marissa through tear filled eyes. She nodded, and I went into my bedroom to get ready, trying to keep myself from fainting.

We drove hurriedly down main street, Marissa filling me in as she drove.

"Apparently the Joker escaped the day before but the police were trying to keep it hidden. It would have worked fine if their criminal hadn't been the Joker. A few hours ago the station got an anonymous call to go to town hall. She pointed out the window at the town hall in the coming light, slowing down the car. Spray-painted across the entire front of the building in red were the words "why so serious?" The paint looked like blood in the light and I shivered. Police cars lined the steps, and even though it was so early in the morning, hundreds of people were being forced back by the police. Marissa sped up again and we zoomed toward the station.

"Are we reporting at the town hall?" I asked as we pulled into the parking lot.

"No." replied Marissa, and she parked the car, jumped out and ran towards the elevator with me behind. "Ms. Jones said she's sending us with one other senior reporter and a cameraman to Arkham Asylum. I don't know how she did it but the police are letting us in there."

"Why would they do that?" I asked, confused, my foot tapping with impatience as the elevator slowly made it's way up.

"This station's government funded, so we usually have government officials to help us get where other broadcasts can't." The doors flew open and we ran down the hallway, towards the production studio. "Also, in a city like this, if you don't give the citizens the information, they're sure to try to find out themselves, and I think the police would not appreciate civilians trying to get into the asylum." I nodded and we entered the studio, which was in an uproar. People were rushing off everywhere, and the noise was deafening. We hurried toward Ms. Jones who when she saw Marissa nodded grimly.

"Morning Marissa," she nodded towards me. "Julia." She said, and then pointed to two men, one who had a small camera slung across his chest, and a large video camera balanced on his shoulder.

"You'll be going with Jonathon Green to report at Arkham Asylum." She motioned to the man without the camera and he shook hands with both of us. He was in his early thirties, and had square rimmed spectacles and balding blonde hair, with a bit of stubble on his face. "The police are only allowing one camera, so William's also coming." The other man with the video equipment flashed me and Marissa a toothy smile. He was quite tall and lanky, with brown mousey hair that looked like he'd just rolled out of bed. He looked to be maybe a couple years older then me, but not by much.

"Now," continued Ms. Jones. " When the Joker escaped he blew half of the place to bits, and the bottom floors are still in use so you won't be allowed in there. But the Joker's cell is apparently still intact, as well as part of the floor he was on. Jon, you know you need information for an article in the evening paper, and Marissa, you and William need some footage for the morning news." Ms. Jones turned to me. "Julia, I expect you to help with anything needed." She sighed heavily. "Also, remember what I said yesterday about how we don't pamper our reporters, that we give them whatever job is available?"

I nodded.

"Well, this case is something that very few first time reporters have to experience. If you can deal with what your about to see and hear, then you most certainly belong in this business." With that she handed both Marissa and the journalist a folder, then headed off. Slightly shocked by Ms. Jones blunt warning, I followed Marissa and the two men back to the parking lot where a Gotham tonight van waited. As we walked Marissa chatted amiably to the two men.

"This is Julia." Said Marissa pointing to me, and I smiled awkwardly at the two men. The older one named Jon grinned at me.

"So you're the new apprentice?" He asked, his glasses glinting in the light.

"Yes." I replied. "This is my first report."

"Nervous?" He asked.

"Very." I replied, allowing myself a small grin. I liked this man; he was easy to talk to. The guy named William the jumped in.

"You should have seen me on my first day, it wasn't pretty, I dropped a camera off a two story building and broke the windshield of this very car." He said arrogantly, patting the side of the car. We all piled into the car, William in the drivers seat, Jon in the passengers seat, and Marissa and I in the back.

"How…?" I asked as I buckled my seat belt.

"Don't ask." Replied William grimly and Jon snorted. Marissa however looked really nervous.

"I can't believe Jones is expecting this to be your first case." She said.

"Why?" I asked. "Its not that big of a deal. We're going to a prison not a murder scene." Marissa winced and looked at me pitifully.

"I s'pose Blondie didn't fill you in." Said William, as he drove the car out of the studio and onto the street. Marissa blushed and opened her mouth to explain, but was interrupted by William.

"Look Jules, the Joker isn't just gonna break out and not do a bit of terrorizing first. I think that he killed three people to get out of that place, and that's not including the explosion he caused, blowing up half the building." I glared at the egotistical camera man, I didn't appreciate him calling me nicknames or treating me like I was an idiot. I looked towards Marissa.

"You mean, we're going to a murder scene?"

"Well," said Jon, glaring at William. "Not really. The police aren't going to let us go in to a crime scene. They've already cleaned up the uh, bodies, we're going there for the security footage and some pictures of the cell."

"And to talk to an officer." Chimed Marissa. Jon nodded and turned to look at me.

"Ignore Will. A camera fell on his head, and he's never been the same since." Will jerked the car to the right, getting Jon to knock his head on the window.

"Don't forget I'm the one driving the car," he laughed, and winked at me in the mirror, and I gave him a cold glare, while I struggled to comprehend what I was about to see.

* * *

Police cars we're blocking the road toward the asylum, and William had to show all of our reporter's ID's to get us in. I looked out my tinted window, trying to get a glimpse of the place before we got there. We drove past electric fences and thousands of cameras's, all pointed in our direction, till we finally reached the main building, the centre of the area, in the heart of Gotham City. More police cars we're there to greet us, as well as a couple of Asylum security guards.

We climbed out of the car, and Jon shook hands with a couple of security guards, before we headed toward the building. I followed behind Marissa and Jon, and to my displeasure beside William, as the heels of our shoes clicked along the visitors' entrance toward the elevator. One of the police officers, who introduced himself as Officer Kelly, informed us that they were taking us to the maximum security unit, and from there, Commissioner James Gordon would take over. I wasn't a big fan of Gordon, I'd heard on TV that he'd called in the police and publicly announced that Batman was responsible for the five deaths, something which I found was impossible.

We arrived at the maximum-security unit, which Officer Kelly informed us that it had been evacuated of all other personnel, so the police were able to collect evidence from the crime scenes. As we headed down intact hall toward the Joker's cell where the police had set up camp, Marissa and Jon were persisting the officer with questions about the security at the Asylum. I however was studying the odd scrapes along the otherwise clean white walls. IT looked as though someone had dragged some sort of sharp object along it. The lines made no sense until I stood farther back, and stopped in my tracks. The chips in the paint were letters. William stood beside me.

"Good find Jules." My hands clenched at the nickname, but I ignored it. Along the wall the scratches in the wall said "HA HA HA HA…." I cocked my head.

"He really is crazy isn't he?" I said softly, as William snapped pictures of the wall.

"He sure acts like it, but who knows? He's a genius and what he does is so well planned that it's hard to believe that he's totally lost it." We followed Jon, Marissa, and the Officer toward the cell.

I shrugged and took a good look at the cell in front of me. There was a small window, and the door was heavily bolted, and like everything else in this place, white. We walked into the cell and I looked around the small room, shocked and apprehensive. It was tiny, and there was a toilet and sink in one corner, and a small cot in the other. The cot was shredded, and it looked like the sharp object had also been used. The walls were covered in marks by the sharp pick, saying "HA HA HA" . There also were little drawings on the wall, which may have been drawn by a nail or fork. The sketchings were everything from little stick police officers with Joker grins to a Batman in a noose. But what was most frightening was the dried blood on the wall. There were smudges of it everywhere, some forming smiley faces which looked more frightening then lightening. There was no blood on the floor though, the police had cleaned it. Marissa tugged on my arm, and I turned to see Commissioner Gordon in front of me. He didn't look too happy to be allowing reporters in Arkham, but smiled at us anyway. Jon shook hands with him and introduced us all.

"A pleasure." Said the Commissioner. He gestured to the room in front of him.

"Your welcome to take pictures of the cell. We haven't cleaned up the walls yet, but we have gotten rid of the body."

"Who was it?" Asked Marissa, clicking her pen.

"Rick Rogers." Replied the Commissioner. "According to other security guards he had an anger management problem, and was consistently being provoked by the Joker." Marissa nodded, and I grabbed my pen and note pad and jotted some notes down about the room and about the security guard. Suprisingly, I felt fine except for my shaking hands, and I realized that it was the face that scared me. A much as I was frightened of the Joker, I couldn't help but be interested. I opened my notepad, and jotted down some information. Maybe, if I knew more about him, I'd be less afraid. The Commissioner beckoned us over to the table set up in the middle of the room. On top of it were papers and a small portable TV and VCR. The Commissioner slipped in a tape.

"According to regulations, we must show the broadcasting company the security footage of what happened." We gathered around the television, and looked at the black and white picture of the same cell we were in, except there was a figure sitting on the cot, shaking his knee impatiently.

"That's him?" Asked Will from behind me. The commissioner nodded.

"Yes. He was like that for about half an hour until…" The Joker jumped up from his cot, and you could see the building shaking slightly. "Some explosives blew up half of the place, and the security guard let his post, as well as two of the three guards assigned to the Joker's cell." There was no sound on the security camera, but you could see the Joker repeatedly banging his mouth with his handcuffs, until he spat some teeth onto the floor, along with blood.

"Why is he doing that?" Asked Marissa, panic in her voice. The commissioner pointed to the screen, as we scribbled down information.

"Apparently, he had somehow put a metal pick in his back molars, he left the teeth on the floor, and we could see the hole in them." Suddenly the door banged open and a security guard came in with a gun in his hands. He didn't see the pick coming, and the Joker sprang like a cat at him, knocking the gun to the floor. You couldn't see much from the camera, but soon the man wasn't moving. The Joker stood, and wiped at his face, then turned to the security camera laughing manically. It was hard to see his face, but I had to put my hand on the table to keep form falling. I bit my lip and tried to stop my swaying. He had blood in his hair and on his white prison uniform. His mouth was covered in blood, and he spat on the ground. Looking straight at the camera, he wet his hands with blood, then drew a shaky smile along his scars. Then, licking his lips he then sauntered out of the room. The screen went black. I starred at the screen and Marissa squeezed my shoulder. I ignored her, and focused on the table, trying to keep myself steady.

"What happened next?" Asked Jon hoarsely.

"He went down the hallway toward Dr. Henry Burns office. He was his doctor at Arkham." Gordon threw down a picture of the doctor, and in spite of my boiling emotions form seeing the Joker, my mouth twitched. He looked like Dr. Phil. No one else seemed to have noticed this, as their faces remained solemn, nauseated and grim.

"He killed the man, and luckily, we don't have to show anyone that security video." The commissioners' face was white, and I shivered, thankful. "After that," Gordon continued. "He got into the security office and cut the cables. When we finally got there, he was gone."

"So," I said, finally getting my voice. "Everyone was too busy with the explosion to check on him?" Gordon nodded.

"It was a diversion, and we weren't there in time." I frowned. _Why didn't you have anyone stationed at Arkham in the first place? _I thought, irritated.

"Your welcome to look around." He said gesturing to the cell. "But you'll have to leave in a few minutes, so we can continue our investigation."

"That's fine." Said Marissa. "Is it okay if we film in here?" Gordon nodded, but his eyes were filled with disapproval. "I also need to ask you a few questions for the viewers in a few minutes." He nodded again, and Marissa went over with William to take some pictures of the cell, and set up to tape. Jon went over to talk to Officer Kelly, but I stayed with the Commissioner. I set my notepad on the table and shook his hand.

"Hi I'm Julia Samuels." I said. He looked slightly surprised, but smiled warily.

"Nice to meet you." He stared into my eyes and frowned. "Have we met before?" I shook my head.

"No, I'm the new apprentice for the channel, I've never been to Gotham before." I said, then changed the subject. "Do you mind if I ask you a question? Not for the paper, just personally?"

"Sure." Said the Commissioner and I fought to keep my tone polite.

"It's just, I don't understand how you could just give this man to Arkham, but not actually help them guard him." Jim Gordon stiffened.

"Arkham has a very high tech system that—"

"Was just bested by a man with a metal pick." I snapped. Gordon frowned at me, and I cursed my temper.

"Once we have handed the criminal over to Arkham, the rules say that we do not need to provide extra service to guard the patient. Once their checked into this place, the crimminal's are their problem." I slammed my fist down on the table, and the others looked at me.

"Oh alright," I said sarcastically. "I get it. The Gotham Police don't want to break any rules, or do any extra work. They just want to sit on their asses and wait till one of the most dangerous criminals of all time breaks out so they can put the blame on Arkham." Gordons' face reddened with fury and I would have recoiled, but I was furious.

"Listen, you have no idea what the police do for this city! This place has excellent security, but we could not get here in time!" He took a bi breath. "You should see how much work and money we have put into this place to make it suitable to hold criminals." He growled.

"All I see is half of a building, an escaped madman who will probably kills hundreds of people before you catch him again, and a bunch of cops who did nothing to keep him in there, and then say its not their fault cause they couldn't get there on time!"

"You don't know how hard we're working to get him back!" Shouted Gordon, his eyes blazing, fists clenching. "Almost every officer is on the investigation, we're doing as much as we can!"

"Julia…" Said Marissa quietly, but I ignored her, and crossed my arms.

"Oh no _commissioner_," I mocked. "I know for a fact that you don't have almost every man on the case." I hissed. "Want to know why? First, you don't have the Joker back yet so if your doing your best then we're all screwed. You're also wasting your time trying to imprison an innocent man who is the only person that can catch the clown." I laughed, trying to see through my haze of anger. "You're screwing everyone over. How can anyone have any hope if the Batman, the only person who can catch the Joker, is wanted too?" I clutched my stomach, tying to contain my rage, and trying to stop my uncontrolled laughter. The commissioner just stared at me, his anger melting, replaced by confusion.

"Are you sure we've never met before?" He asked. I glared at him, and stopped laughing, my rage overpowering. That was his response?

"For the last time, _no_, and by the way, if I were you I get a reality check and fix this whole thing. Stop chasing the Batman, and start working with him, or you'll be the death of us all commissioner." I turned and left the room as quickly as I could, before my temper got the better of me and I would truly do something I would regret. My head was so clouded with anger that I didn't even know Jon was following me until he cleared his throat.

"Hey Julia, are you okay?" He asked quietly. I walked into the elevator, and turned to him.

"Of course I'm okay." I said, breathing slowly. "Why would you ask such a question?"

"Well," he said grimacing. "You just left the Commissioner of police speechless, that's something that very few people are brave or stupid enough to do, and second, you're as white as a ghost, and shaking uncontrollably." I slumped against the wall and sighed.

"I just don't get why the commisioner couldn't have done more. He pretty much left the door open for the clown. Doesn't he know what that man's capable of?"

"And you do?" Said Jon. I looked at him.

"Yes, he's capable of your worst nightmare." I replied. The elevator landed at the first floor, and we walked out toward the car. "It just makes me so angry to think that could have been prevented" I sat on the ground beside the car and Jon slid down to sit beside me.

"I saw your face when the Joker looked at the camera." Said Jon. I bowed my head, cheeks blushing crimson. "Julia, its okay to be afraid, fear is natural." I shook my head, hating Jon for caring.

"No," I said. "Fear is a waste of time, it makes you weak." I stood up before Jon could talk anymore, seeing Marissa and William coming our way. Marissa stopped to talk on her phone, but William came over and grinned at me.

"Wow, you sure have a backbone, criticizing the commissioner!" He exclaimed. "And all he could think about was if he'd seen you before. He was speechless." The corners of my mouth twitched.

"Hey Will," said Marissa, coming over. "Get the car started. We're needed back at the studio." We climbed into the car and Marissa turned to me.

"Are you okay?" she whispered so only I could here. I kept my face neutral and nodded.

"Why are we wanted back at the studio?" I asked, changing the subject.

"They need our footage." She replied, and realizing I didn't want to talk about it, asked Jon about the information he'd gotten. I looked out the window, my head spinning, and my anger subsiding. My first meeting with the commissioner had not gone well, and my temper had gotten the best of me. I'd left him speechless and confused, but the fact that he was under the impression that he'd seen me before surprised me. I had only ever seen Jim Gordon on television, I had never met him, so why would he have the feeling he'd met me before?

* * *

**SO? THE JOKER'S OUT, JULIA HATES THE COMMISSIONER AND HE'S THINKS HE'S SEEN HER BEFORE. WHO DO YOU THINK SHE REMINDS HIM OF? IT'S HARD TO CONNECT JULIA TO THE JOKER UNDERNEATH ALL THAT MAKEUP, BUT THE EYES ARE KEY. HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND I'M SORRY ITS SO LONG!**


	5. Chapter 5 Research

GRRR, I HATE SNOW! THERE WAS A HUGE PROBLEM WITH THE INTERNET CAUSE SOMEONE RAN INTO A POLE WITH THEIR CAR AFTER SLIPPING ON THE ICE. ANYWAY, THIS IS A SMALL CHAPTER, IT WAS ACTULLY CONJOINED WITH THE NEXT ONE COMING UP. BUT, IT WOULD BE EXTREMLY LONG AND I NEEDED TO WORK ON THE OTHER PART MORE SO I SPLIT IT. THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND ENJOY THE CHAPTER!

DISCLAIMER: I DOND'T OWN ANY DC COMIC CHARACTERS, BUT THE PLOT AND ANY OTHERS ARE MINE!!!!!

* * *

I leaned against the counter in my kitchen, and yawned tiredly. The day had been never ending, what with the visit to the asylum, the continuous calls to the studio from freaked out viewers, who were all under the impression that the Joker was outside their house, and trying to get my laptop hooked up to the internet connection at the office. What's worse, William, the idiotic cameraman had figured out where my office was, and spent half the afternoon barging in randomly to offer useless advice on how to get the internet connection.

I massaged my temples and tucked my wild mess of hair behind my ears. There'd been no appearance from the Joker himself, except for a couple more buildings covered in graffiti, and the tension was heavy.

I looked up and eyed my apartment, which I'd just finished. I'd hung up a couple of photo's to make the walls less bare, and everything looked in place. The living room was a light shade of blue, my kitchen was white, and my little bedroom and bathroom were a chocolate brown. I hadn't painted anything, so I'd picked my furniture to match the walls.

I turned to the stove and removed the boiling pot of pasta, and went to drain it in the sink. I'd cooked an extra amount of spaghetti so I'd b able to have it for lunch the next couple of days. I turned down the stove and went into my bedroom to change out of my blouse and pants into a pair of jeans and a sweat-shirt.

I heaped piles of steaming pasta and sauce onto my plate, and grabbed a big glass of milk before walking into the living room where my kitchen table sat, behind the couch and near the window. I sat down and opened my laptop, flicking the television on and pushing the mute button. I turned my attention to my laptop and after typing in the password, I went to the internet. I drummed my fingernails on the keyboard, and watched the soundless pictures flash across the TV screen, one of them Commissioner Gordon, making me frown irritably. The fact that he thought he'd seen me before had been bothering me all day. It had just made me more frustrated with him, since the only reply to my accusations had been "have we met before?" What's worse is that my foolish outburst might even cost me my job. I'd been worried all day that Jon, Marissa, William, or even Commissioner Gordon would complain.

I growled, and checked my email. There wasn't much, a couple cheery but fake emails from friends, but that was it. I took my coat off the chair beside me and dug into the pocket, looking for my pocket knife. I found it, and the crumpled up picture of my father. I pulled the little picture out carefully and tenderly, smoothing it out on the surface of the table. _Jack Napier_. How in the world was I going to find him? I eyed the computer and went to the "Google" homepage. _Kind of stupid._ I thought. But where else was I going to start?

I typed in "Jack Napier" and pressed the search button. What I got was some random face-book and my-space links to people with the same name, some Wikipedia information about a porn star, and a whole bunch of random information. I rolled my eyes. This was getting me nowhere. I added "Gotham City" to Jack Napier and then pressed search again. This time I got a bunch of websites for lawyers and business's in Gotham, and some newspaper articles about people with similar last or first names to Jack Napier. I searched through Google, but came up with nothing. I frowned, irritated, then typed in the name of the school my mother attended, checking the yearbook archives. I scrolled down the page toward "N"…..there was nothing. I scanned the rows of smiling faces, looking for him, but he wasn't there, instead there was the school logo, randomly placed on the page.

I scrolled down to "S", and saw my mother, smiling toothily, her shirt revealing. I scrolled back up, double checking the rows of names. Why wasn't he here? I checked the rest of the yearbook online; scanning though the pictures….that was odd. Some of the pages had large blank spaces, as though someone had hacked in and deleted them. I'd never seen my Mom's yearbook before, but I was sure that the school wouldn't have random empty spaces in their yearbooks. It wasn't like there was many, but it was suspicious. I looked through the rest of the book, trying to find a picture of my father. The yearbook was surprisingly scarce of group shots of classes, and my father was nowhere to be seen. It was almost like he'd never existed…… A loud knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts, and I jumped, almost spilling my glass of milk.

I opened the door to see Marissa standing in front of me, looking completely exhausted. I checked the time. 10:00 PM. Pretty late.

"Sorry I'm calling so late Julia." She said hurriedly, walking past me into my apartment. I raised my eyebrows and followed her to my couch, which she dramatically threw herself onto.

"Oh what a day!" She moaned, closing her eyes. "I'm so glad it's over."

"Yes it was tiring." I said trying to hide my irritation. "But, Marissa, I…um…. Well… I was just eating my dinner and then I was going to go to bed so…" Marissa sat up, and looked at me, embarrassed.

"Oh, yes." She said, blushing. "I wasn't planning on staying; I just wanted to talk to you about your first day." I sighed and nodded. Marissa eyed me cautiously, like a bomb about to explode

"What you did at Arkham." She said nervously. "It was pretty bold….but kind of stupid. I don't think Commissioner Gordon will report you to the studio, and Jon, William and I won't….but, you need to be more careful."

"I know." I said heavily. "I don't know what came over me."

"Some people have things that irritate them more then others." Said Marissa encouragingly, glad I wasn't blowing up in her face. "You just need to control your emotions, that outburst could have cost you your job." I nodded, frustrated with myself. I'd never had a problem with containing my emotions, but the fact that they were willing to throw people's lives on the line just for a stupid rule was ridiculous. I didn't see why they couldn't have dedicated themselves to keeping the Joker in the prison, instead of trying to catch him when he's out.

_Rules, rules, rules._ I thought irritably. _They'll be the death of us all._

"I'm sorry Marissa." I said, standing up. "Believe me; it's not going to happen again." She nodded and I watched her, wishing she would go, and take all her cheerfulness with her. I kept my face straight and gave her a small smile. She smiled back at me, relaxed. I could tell that I had really scared her with my outburst. I'd have to be more careful. Suddenly, Marissa stood up.

"Well, see you tomorrow!" She said heading toward the door. "Hopefully it'll be a lot less crazy!"

"You think it will?"

"Probably." Marissa replied, opening the door. "But the longer the Joker stays quiet, the bigger it will be when he finally shows his face." With that, she gave me a cheerful wave and headed out into the hall, her blonde hair shining in the hall lights, leaving me with dark thoughts

I walked back to my couch and threw myself onto it. After Marissa's warning, I seriously regretted the move I'd made with the Commissioner. I hoped I wouldn't' have to work with him anytime soon. Too depressed to go back to the computer, I sat slumped, flicking through channels. I stopped on another news station, and turned up the volume. It was a talk show, but I wasn't interested in that, it was what they were talking about.

"I mean, what are the Police going to do now?" Asked a large man. "The Jokers out, and they have the only guy who can catch him a wanted man. Who cares if Batman's a criminal? Get him to capture the clown, and then take him down! There going to screw us all over if you ask me." The white haired man across form him nodded.

"Batman hasn't been seen since he was pronounced a murder, four months ago. Do you think he'll show?" The large man nodded vigorously, his chins wiggling.

"Whatever that clown's going to do next is sure to involve the Batman." He replied. "There both insane if you ask me, but I'd rather have him then the Joker." I turned off the TV, and starred at the blank screen. The fact that the Batman was nowhere to be seen worried me. How much havoc could the Joker cause before the caped crusader would show? What would be the Joker's next act? Who would it involve, and who would die because of him? A mental image of the Jokers face came to me, and I shuddered. I got up shakily and put the rest of the spaghetti in some Ziploc containers, then drank a large glass of water hoping to calm my nerves. Before heading to bed, I grabbed the picture of my father and my pocket knife, hoping they would give me comfort. I sure needed it.

* * *

SO? THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE REALLY INTENSE, AND I NEED TO DO A LOT OF WORK ON IT SO IT'S LESS CONFUSING. CONGRATS TO THE OSCAR NOMMINATIONS FOR THE DARK KNIGHT AND THANKS TO ALL THE REVIEWERS!!!! HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER!!


	6. Chapter 6 Battle of Young and Old

**I FINALLY UPDATED!! I'VE BEEN STUPID ENOUGH TO START TWO FANFICS, WHICH WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA, AND THIS ONE I'M FINDING ALOT MORE INTERESTING!! ANYWAY, THIS CHAPTER TICKED ME OFF TO NO ENDS, SO PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT, I WANT TO GET BETTER!!!!! THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS, THIS IS AWESOME!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TDK OR ANY CHARACTERS FORM DC COMICS, THOUGH I'D TRULY LOVE TO (SIGHS, DEPRESSED)**

Two weeks went by, and nothing happened. There were a couple disturbances involving the mob, and there were some burglaries that occurred in which many of the witnesses swore the criminal was dressed as a cat, but aside from the usual problems in Gotham, (you know the occasional bank heist, the mugs reports and quite a few rapes) not much happened. But, there was also no sign of Batman.

I had my fair share of different reports to cover, but after I wrote my first article for the paper, I was continually being asked to do more stories. I was asked to focus on more human interest articles, which I found both annoying, and interesting, though many of them were never published, I was pretty low on the chain. It was different, doing articles instead of reports and I like it, though I wasn't a big fan of interviewing any of the upper class of Gotham. No, I was much more interested in the less fortunate, trying to get their opinions across. These were finally some people who were worse off then me, definitely in the financial way, but more importantly mentally. What they had suffered was so horrible and depressing, but yet they never complained. My heart ached whenever I was asked to go and interview or be sent with William to get some photos.

This made me more irritable towards people like Marissa, who were perfectly nice, but had never had a worry, and then would be extremely depressed if her car broke down, or her boyfriend broke up with her. I continued my constant search on the internet for my father, and checked the house ownership and medical records at town hall for anything. But there was nothing. It was like he'd never existed, like he'd been wiped from the face of the earth.

On the third week of a Joker less Gotham, William was driving me out of my mind. We were doing an article about the Gotham senior home, and I'd been paired, once again with the bigheaded jerk. As we walked down the street toward the senior's home, he rattled of useless information about Gotham, trying to make an impression.

"Oh, and there's Wayne Tower." He said gesturing toward the massive building, always in view. "It's the tallest building in Gotham you know?" I swiveled on the spot.

"Hey William guess what?" I asked giving him a cheesy grin. He smiled back.

"What?"

"No one cares." I replied childlessly. He laughed at me, and I glared at him, walking briskly up the steps of the Evergreen seniors Home, the largest in the city.

"Oh come on Jules." Laughed William behind me. I turned around again.

"Okay, I'll tell you this one more time. I don't like you calling me Jules. Would you like me calling you Will? Or Willie?" He gave me a seductive look, and raised his eyebrows.

"You can call me anything you want baby." He replied.

"Oh god." I said, rolling my eyes, ignoring his snickering.

When we finally finished the interview, it was dark outside and cold for an early October evening. William and I walked briskly down the street, our breath freezing in the air. I looked though the windows of the stores, the inside looking warm and inviting. The visit to Evergreen retirement home had been a nice break from Gotham. The people there were wonderfully kind and welcoming. As the biggest home in the city, they had hundreds of patients, all old and many very ill. It broke my heart to see them on those beds, so frail yet so wise. William had also been a lot less of an idiot while we were there, telling jokes to the elderly, and even joining in on a game of checkers, while I interviewed a woman with enormous glasses. Of course, this did not last long. He ran his mouth at me as we walked, while I made an obvious point of ignoring, something which must have gone unnoticed. I didn't even know I was walking alone until I glanced behind me and saw William, standing by the alleyway, peering down. Irritated I headed back over to him.

"What's up?"

"I just saw a truck pull up in the back lot of the senior home." He replied, gesturing down the alleyway. You could just see the parking lot of the senior home from there. "I swear the people getting out of it were wearing masks." I squinted into the darkness, and saw nothing.

"Well, there gone now." I said, and then smirked. "You're probably just imagining things." William sighed, and shook his head, and we continued walking. After a couple of seconds, he snorted.

"I don't know what I was thinking. For a second I thought they were breaking into Evergreen, but why would anyone do that?" We headed toward Main Street, walking right beside town hall, now free of spray paint. Suddenly, my purse began to vibrate, and I reached, in pulling out my cell phone. I checked the number, and then answered.

"Ms. Jones?" I asked, confused.

"Julia, is that you?" Her voice sounded strained. "Where are you? Is William with you?"

"Yes," I said, rolling my eyes as he tripped over the sidewalk curb, and almost wiped out. "He's with me, and we're walking down Main Street, we've just finished with the interview."

"Oh, good." Her voice resumed its briskness, with a hint of relief.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked, stopping in the street.

"We've just gotten a chat invitation on the computer sent to us from the Evergreen Seniors Home. The profile picture is a Joker card." I almost dropped my phone in shock.

"What?" I whispered. Those people, those lovely people. The little old lady with the plant collection, the man who was unbeatable at checkers, and the elderly woman in one of the beds, informing me proudly of her son in the army, pointing to his pictures all over her walls. William grabbed the phone from me and I didn't protest. I stood off to the side of the street, horrified. _Please let them be okay_. I thought desperately. _They don't deserve any of this. _

William shut the phone, and turned to me, his face white, but composed.

"We need to get back to the studio." He said grabbing my hand to pull me along. "They'll be running the video soon, and they want us away from the area for safety measures. They've already contacted the police."

"But what about them?" I whispered, looking behind me. "We can't just leave them, we should—"

"Do what?" Asked William seriously. "If we go there, we'll just make it worse." He pulled me along, and I followed, snatching my hand from his. We hurried as fast as we could down the street, winding our way between people. My heart thumped nervously, yet my hands began to clench as it slowly sunk in. How could anyone do this?

We reached the studio in a matter of seconds and joined all the other reporters in the board room, which overlooked the studio. Marissa was there, and when she saw us she smiled happily.

"Oh I'm so glad you're both okay." We both nodded at her curtly, our faces glum with despair. I looked over the heads of others to watch Jeffery Andrews.

"Gotham Police Department has received an anonymous call saying that both the Children's Orphanage and Evergreen Seniors Home are being held by the Joker. Gotham Tonight has been sent an anonymous chat invitation form the Home. Be forewarned, this may be disturbing." The screen flicked off and Jeffery Andrews's face crumpled. Marissa leaned into me.

"His fathers at Evergreen." She whispered, and my stomach clenched, but I kept my face in check. We turned ourselves to the large screen in the studio, waiting. The video feed connected, and many people around me shrieked, at the leering face back at us. My feet rooted to the spot, and I watched, frozen like someone had poured a bucket of water on me in the freezing cold. The Joker laughed manically, his makeup fully in place, looking as frightening as ever. He stood away form the webcam and gestured around the room, which was the rec room with the large windows that William and I had interviewed the seniors in. I could see them in the background, many weeping silently, others glaring at him with defiance, some even confused.

"Why hheellooo Gotham." He drawled slowly. "Miss me?" His voice was nothing like I'd always imagined it to be, hoarse and evil. It was sarcastic and cynical. "Hope you've all been enjoying your little….vacation." He grinned widely, brandishing a knife around, letting the steel glint in the light. "But you've been busy while I've been gone hmm? The **Batman's** now a……wanted man, that's not good. But he hasn't been around much has he, and you can't play a game by yourself!" He cackled and paced by the senior citizens, many of them cringing in fear. I tried to breathe, tried to keep clam, _it'll be okay_, I thought _it will_. "Well let's get straight down to it citizens of Gotham." He continued, licking his lips and throwing his arms around. "I'm giving you all front row streets to a great show! The battle between young and old…..hip vs. not. Wise vs. naive!"

He threw back his head and laughed eyes black, holes with no light. "At this very moment Gotham's _finest_ police force is rushing to the Gotham's Children's orphanage, where my men are entertaining the little angels." People began to mutter around me, confused. I however stared in horror at the screen, understanding everything. "Right here," he said brandishing two different detonators in one hand, one with a blue strip, and on with a yellow. "I have the power to blow both these old geezers," he brandished the blue striped detonator, "and the little rugrats," he waved the yellow striped detonator, "to the moon." He licked his lips and looked straight into the camera, the boardroom going silent. "I'm going to give the Gotham police and Batman a choice. The rugrats or the geezers? You can only choose one, cause the second you step .room…… the others go……KABOOM!!"

He jumped around manically, brandishing his knife at the seniors. "So…who's it gonna be hmm? Oh yes, I'm going to uh, leave this little video on so all of Gotham can see the show!! Will the Batman come out of his cave? Will the police force risk lives to take him down? Will they rescue the orphans and leave the old guys?" He came close to the camera. "What's it gonna be _Batsy_? Will you come here for me, and risk the poor misfortunes of Gotham, or go over to the orphanage and kill all these smelly old people?" He skipped over to the old lady who I'd interviewed with the plant collection, and grabbed her, pulling her up and dragging her over to the webcam.

"What's it gonna be oldtimer?" He snarled at her. "Do you want them to save you?" The little woman looked at the camera, tears streaming down her face. "Yes," she sobbed, her eyes rolling upwards in fright and he let her crumple to the ground in a motionless heap. "What about the children?" He drawled, coming to the camera, and changing it to another feed. I saw a large room with dozens of motley children huddled together. One of the clowns had a little boy, no more seven by the hair in front of the screen.

"Do you want them to save you?" yelled the man at the little boy. The child whimpered, his big eyes looking pleadingly up at the camera.

"I want my bear!" He sobbed. "I want the clowns to go away!" The screen switched back to the Joker, his face filled with anticipation, eyes sparkling darkly. "So citizens of _Gotham_, what's going to happen? There's bound to be some fireworks… its just .?" Through one of the windows across the room, a dark figure came flying in, crashed headlong into the Joker, tumbling out through the window across, onto the rooftop. It was silent in the room then, everyone sitting in anxiousness, the clown goons standing stiffly, holding their guns, and the senior citizens and staff, looking away from the camera. One of the goons ran to the broken window.

"There on the roof!" He said.

* * *

I fell onto the hard pavement of the roof and jumped up and away from the black mass. I cracked my neck, and flicked open my knife.

"Hey Bats," I drawled, tensing up, ready for the fight, knowing it was coming, knowing that he would be here. He was just so…. _Predictable. _

"Where'd you go for your vacation? My getaway was _nothing_ like it looked like in the brochure—" He tackled me to the ground, then grabbing my vest, pulled me up, to look at me in the face.

"Give me the detonators." He growled, eyes filled with fury. I laughed in his face, enjoying myself.

"What, you want to blow them up? I heard that's your sort of thing." Batman flung me across the roof to the ground and I stayed there, waiting. Footsteps neared, sirens blared below, the Gotham's_ slowest_ police force setting up a perimeter. _Just a little closer_, I thought, waiting as the Batman came forward. _There_. I flung myself towards him jabbing my knife into the black armor, finding the spaces between the plates.

"Bet you missed that didn't you?" I snarled at him. His feet connected with my stomach, pushing me over top of him and the roof, falling down, down…….urgh, into a dumpster full of garbage.

"Gross," I drawled. "It's probably full of senior's diapers." I tumbled out of the dumpster, my head throbbing, and blood on my lips. I licked my lips, enjoying the iron-like taste, welcoming the pain, and looked down the alleyway excitedly. I could hear the sirens.

* * *

One helper tried to go to the woman on the floor, but a clown pointed his gun at her, and she sat back down. We held our, breath, hearing the noise from outside, the loud cackling, then nothing. The clown at the window spoke.

"They've fallen off the rooftop." He said. "Should we—"

"No." Replied another. "That's against orders." I tried to breathe, and found I was able to move again. The face was gone. I tried not to look at the clowns, but was unable to tear my eyes away from the television. Instead I watched an elderly man with a cane, who was looking at the floor. I followed his eyes and saw it. A detonator, with a blue stripe on it was lying on the ground in the middle of the floor. I heard mummers around me, others saw it too. That meant the Joker still had the other one and since Batman had come to the seniors rescue, he'd press it when he got the chance…

* * *

I heard a rustle of fabric, and sidestepped to the left, dodging the pouncing Batman. I reached inside my coat pocket, and pulled out the yellow striped detonator.

"Ah, ah, ah….." I said, as Batsy came forwards. I put my finger on the button and held it forwards, reaching into my pocket for the other one. "You don't want to… ah… kill the poor little orphans do ya Bats?" I raised my eyebrows, still searching for the other detonator. "Wait, apparently you've already killed _five_ people, maybe you do?"

"Then I would risk other lives to kill you." The Batman growled, his voice rasping. I rolled my eyes, irritated, swaying back and force.

"No, that'd be breaking your…rule. ..that. I'm not the idiot here, ahhh," I coughed. "Ehem **_you_**." Clearing my throat, I smirked at him an continued. "I know you really didn't kill those people hmm?" He glared at me through his mask, and watched me search for the other bomb/

"Where is that detonator?" I growled, searching through my pockets. _Wait. _I stopped and looked up at the senior's home.

* * *

Suddenly the man with the cane lunged for the detonator and picked it up. The clowns aimed their guns at him, but he held it up in front of his face, his finger on the button.

"I'll press it!" He said threateningly at the clown men, and they lowered their guns, but kept their fingers on the trigger. The man turned to the other seniors.

"If we don't blow up, those children will." He said quietly, looking at every one of them. "They will die. Those children haven't had there chance at life, but we have." Some of the seniors nodded along with him, and some didn't.

"Henry, stop it!" Yelled a senior with a checkered shirt. "You can't be serious, you can't press it!" Others joined in, but Henry stopped them with a little movement of his finger.

"I can, and I will." He said. "That man will kill those children, does that not matter? Could you live with that hanging over your heads? I couldn't, and neither could any of you." Still holding the detonator, he walked up to the webcam, and looked straight into it.

"I'm sorry." He said simply. He reached up and pulled at something behind the webcam.

The camera went black. Everyone in the studio stood, frozen in shook. Everything had happened so quickly, so abruptly, what could we do? We waited.

* * *

I sighed dramatically, and eyed Batsy.

"Well, it's been ......**fun** Batsy, but you know..... I really need to be on my way.... but not wihtout the final act! You saved the geezers Bats, so then the rugrats…." I held up the detonator, my finger balanced on the button. "Get to go _kabloe._" Suddenly the senior's home began to explode, debris falling all around us. I looked up, bending over with laughter. _Of course, trying to be heroic while scarring the minds of the rest of Gotham. Annoying… but Perfect. No one is going to forget this for..... a long time._ I dove around the alleyway wall, debris falling between me and Batman. _Even better, the police and Batman are to blame_. Trying to stifle my laughs, I jumped into the van and pressed on the gas pedal, getting away form the burning building. "Who says seniors aren't efficient?" I yelled to myself, swerving dangerously through traffic. "They don't even need me to blow themselves up!"

* * *

I sunk to the ground, hearing the loud explosions, the sirens, seeing in my mind the burning bodies, and that…._face_. When the noise stopped, the screams of the dead still echoed around me.

* * *

**WELL?? AHH, CATWOMAN. I'VE NEVER REALLY BEEN A FAN, BUT WANTED TO JUST SHOW THAT THE JOKER ISN'T THE ONLY VILLIAN SPRINGING UP. I'D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW HOW MY JOKER WAS.... HE'S EXTREMLY HARD TO RIGHT, AND I WANT TO PLEASE PEOPLE.... SO IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, TELL ME HOW I CAN IMPROVE AND IF YOU DID.... STILL TELL ME!!!! THERE IS WAY TO MUCH SNOW IN CANADA...... I HAVE TO GO SHOVEL THE DRIVEWAY....AGAIN.**


	7. Chapter 7 A Little Closer

**HI EVERYONE, SORRY FOR THE DELAY. ONE OF THE JOKER'S LITTLE ANTICS WAS INSPIRED BY AN EPISODE IN THE TELEVISION SERIES THE BATMAN. I FORGET THE NAME OF THE EPISODE, I'M REALLY SLEEPY AND TO0 LAZY TO CHECK, BUT ITS THE ONE WITH THE FIRST APPEARANCE OF HARLEY QUINN IN THAT SHOW. THE JOKER IN THIS SHOW REMINDS ME SLIGHTLY OF THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME BUT I DO LIKE HIM. ANYWAY, I'M REALLY TIRED, SO IT MAY BE A LITTLE SLOPPIER. THANKYOU FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS, THEY WERE GREAT!**

_**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TH DC COMIC CHARACTERS, JUST JULIA AND THE OTHERS!!!!**_

* * *

When I finally got home from the station, my head was throbbing painfully, and I was an emotional wreck. What I'd experienced back home was nothing to this, it was different. All those people, those lovely people were dead. All because of a man.... no _monster_ in a purple suit with a knife and bad makeup job. Throwing my purse on the table, I glared angrily out the window, down into the streets of Gotham. How could something like this happen and everyone still go on? Stomping across my apartment I threw myself onto my couch, pressing my face into the pillows. That's when I noticed the red light on my message machine, beeping away. I reached up and blindly pushed the button, then pressed my face back into the pillow.

"You have one new message."Said the weird robotic male voice.

"Julia?" Came the voice softly. I raised my head and starred at the machine. My mother.

"Julia?"Repeated the voice. "Well, I guess you're not home...."I heard her hesitating, and my throat tightened. Her voice sounded so broken, so fragile. ".....look honey, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday."I rolled my eyes. _A little late_. "I know I'm late... but I didn't really have the courage to call you."Her voice broke slightly and I shivered. "Honey, I miss you. You don't have to come home or anything, but I want to talk to you."I frowned at the machine, sending my darkest thoughts at it, willing it to explode. "And Julia?" I heard her voice become haggard, pained. "I love you, I really do."The machine cut off then and I starred off into space. Should I call her back? No, I shouldn't, no she doesn't deserve it, she doesn't deserve it and neither do I. I rubbed my face and saw that it was wet. Licking my lips I could taste the salty tears streaking down my face.

I walked into the washroom and stood looking into the mirror. My haggard appearance starred back, puffy eyes with a forlorn look, hair flying off in different places, and gaunt looking face. I felt the same way I looked. That call from my mother had been the topping on the cake. I glanced at my watch. 3:00 AM. Was I ever going to get to bed on time? I went and sat on my bed, starring at the floor. I knew what would happen when I went to sleep, I knew I'd have the nightmares, I'd wake up in a cold sweat, tears streaming. Sighing heavily, I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed, knife clutched in my hand. I needed to do something. Maybe if I found my father, or cleared Batman's name, the nightmares would stop. I hoped so.

The horrible explosion of Evergreen seniors home renewed my goal in clearing Batman's name. But, I had no clue where to start. For locating my father, it was different. I had figured out that someone or something had deleted all memory of my father on the internet, so I needed to find someone who had known him. That was of course, a dead end, and I had to abandon my search for the time being. Instead, I read and re-read all the articles I could find about Batman murdering those five people. Regretfully the paper knew even less then I did about the whole thing, and I realized that the only person who seemed to know anything was commissioner Gordon. Only problem was that I was still embarrassed about the way I'd yelled at him, and I knew that he'd never tell me anything.

My mother continued to call my apartment, at least once a week, her voice becoming more and more pained. She began narrating her day to me on the message machine, while I sat there, listening, but never replying.

I was given a temporary position in the Gotham times, reporting on human issue stories. Only problem was that William was constantly my photographer, and his head hadn't deflated at all. Gotham was in an uproar, people were scared and worried all the time. The antics of the Joker never ceased and sightings of Batman became frequent as did the noise of sirens blaring along at night. The Jokers attacks were not as horrible as the explosion of Evergreen seniors home, but varied, amping the tension in Gotham.

I remember one morning when Marissa was driving along Main street and the car was sloshing through 2 inch deep water. When we got to the station, I discovered that apparently the Joker had stationed his goons all across town and had them throw some sort of explosive coin into all the fountains, causing major flooding, especially in the lower areas. The damage to the buildings had been horrible, and the plumbing wouldn't work in Gotham for the whole day. When Marissa and I left the station early that afternoon, we were glad to see that there was a lot less water. I was in a horrible mood that day, due to my advent but unsuccessful search for my father. I hadn't had any success in forever and Marissa was smart enough to let me go into my apartment and sulk in peace.

Later that afternoon, I sat watching the news and staring at my father's high school picture. It still shocked me at how much we looked alike. I shivered when I looked into his eyes, they were darker then mine and slightly frightening. I heard voices mentioning the Batman and glanced up, seeing Commissioner Gordon's face on the TV.

"Yes the hunt for the Batman is ongoing, as is the Joker. The threat to the people of Gotham is too great and the National Guard will be arriving to assist us." I starred at the man, remembering our meeting a few weeks ago. I still hadn't gotten over the fact that he thought he'd seen me before when I'd never met him in my life. I looked back at the yearbook picture, and then jolted upright, eyes flashing from the television screen to my father.

"That's it!" I yelped, grinning widely with excitement. My father and I looked a lot alike, and Gordon had thought that he'd met me before. So, my father must have been involved with the police! I frowned, sinking back into the couch. But, he couldn't be a police officer, Gordon would've known that, and my father didn't even finish high school, where would he get the training. So….. he was the criminal. _Well, maybe he was changed; it could have been a long time ago._ I tried to reassure myself, and then grinned. I was a whole lot closer to finding him.

I bounced my knee nervously in the waiting room, excitement rising. I'd spoken with my supervisor at Gotham Tonight and had asked to see some specific records due to a piece in the paper I was going to do on the past criminals of Gotham and the current. Or so they thought. I'd been very leisurable in saying that the Gotham police would be placed very high in this article and after a lot of string pulling, I was given an appointment. The best part of the whole thing was that I wouldn't have to do anything with Commissioner Gordon. I heaved a great sigh of relief, though I continued to fidget. Finally the door opened and in walked a grumpy looking woman, wearing a very professional looking skirt. She told me her name, which I promptly forgot and led me down a few halls towards the criminal record section. She opened a door to a musty looking room with large bookshelves, then turned to me.

"Your welcome to look freely along here, but you may not take the records or photocopy them. You have twenty minutes." I nodded at her, and she closed the door, leaving me with the records. I ha expected that there would be rules. I had to pretty much beg to be let in here. Setting my purse down on the table, I went over to the computer to find the location code for Jack Napier. The police required you to inform the computer what you were looking for, and according to the research I'd done, it was put into the database history.

A few minutes later I came to the conclusion that the Gotham police were extremely disorganized. I finally found the file labeled Jack Napier and pulled it out, my hands shaking. It was quite small, and I looked at it longingly, wishing to open it, but I didn't. Instead, I reached into my purse and pulled out sheets of paper, removing the ones from the file and replacing them. _It would do until I photocopied these and returned them_. I said, trying to reassure myself.

_I'm not stealing, just borrowing._ I'd also scheduled time in the archives tomorrow and that would be where I put the original copy back. I gently placed the papers in my purse, feeling quite proud of myself and my plan. Placing the folder back on the shelf, I was just in time, and turned as the archive woman came back into the room, looking as grumpy as ever. She led me out, and I told her that I'd be there tomorrow to look through the archives again. She nodded at me, giving me a "does it look like a care?" look. I set off down the street to grab a taxi to get to the station to photocopy the papers.

When I was finally able to look at the files, I starred at the papers, my mind whirling for about ten minutes before I was actually able to read it. After I'd calmed myself, I looked to the photocopied photo and my eyes widened in shock. IT was my father all right, starrign into the camera. He looked the same, but different. He was still thin, but his eyes seemed darker, more threatening, cold. He looked slightly cocky, proud of himself in some way, but so many emotions were shielded by his face, which betrayed nothing, an empty slate. I tore my eyes away from the photo and focused in on the police reports.

A few hours later, I finally tore my weary eyes away from the reports, leaning into the couch. I couldn't believe it. All this time, I'd thought that my father would be this wonderful, loving person who cared about me, and now… he had been in the mob? I clenched my fists with anger and threw the papers to the ground, then sank to the ground, watching them flutter around me as they fell. How dare he? How dare he ruin everything? I beat my fists at the ground, trying to let loose my emotions. This wasn't what I'd wanted, it wasn't even close.

Maybe he isn't part of the mob anymore. My more sensible side said.

Why wouldn't he be?

These reports aren't recent, there at least seven years old. I glanced down at the sheets, light flooding through me. Maybe he had left the mob, a changed man? I slowly picked up the papers, placing them almost lovingly on the coffee table. I shouldn't be upset, I should be happy. I'd found out more then I'd ever hoped for, I was even closer. Suddenly, I grinned and twirled around and around the room, giggling slightly. I was just so happy, I'd never felt that way before. I collapsed onto the couch, and starred up at the ceiling, wiggling my feet. It frightened me, this drastic change in my emotions, but I couldn't fight it. I was overjoyed and I laughed, kicking my feet in the air. I was close, so close, soon I would find him.

* * *

Hmmm, that was odd….. _someone_ had been riffling through the old police records. I scanned the computer screen, checking the database history of the police archives. It was easy to hack into, a walk in the park. But it was odd. Not like no one went through the archives, but they were looking at _Jack Napiers_ records. I stared at the screen, bouncing my knee impatiently. That wasn't right, who was the busybody looking up those records? Why would they? Unless…. My fingers tightened on my knife and hurled it across the musty room, hearing the pleasurable thud as it hit the wall. I pulled my green strands of hair, avoiding the large bruises covering my face, do to a recent encounter with the _Dork_ Knight. I licking my lips. _No_, I argued. If detective _Sherlock Holmes_ wants to put their nose in other peoples business, then I'd do some sleuthing too. "Curiosity killed the cat!" I yelled gleefully, hearing my voice echo around me. _This time it'll be literally._

_

* * *

  
_

About a week passed of work, phone messages, and studying the police reports. I was wearing myself out, poring over the papers every day for at least an hour, memorizing, re memorizing. If I wasn't looking at the files, I was starring blankly at the wall, listening to another phone message, hearing her pain, doing nothing, letting it wash over me, a wave of sorrow and regret. Though I was spending a lot of my time starring into space and rereading police reports, I didn't slack with my work, and was given constant praise on my articles, though many didn't make it into the paper, I was only an amateur.

Marissa and I hung out a lot, due to her, but I went out of my way to avoid William, and his never closing mouth. There was no escape however, and I just learned to accept his constant presence. It was later in the afternoon, about a week after I got the police reports, and I was spending time on the internet reading anything to do with Batman, when my door opened and William came in. I glanced up, closing the internet, slightly embarrassed and gave him a cool smile.

"Yes?" I asked calmly, suppressing my irritation. He looked incredibly excited about something and was literally hopping from foot to foot in anticipation.

"Do you here about the Jokers latest victim?" He asked. "She was a woman who worked in the police archives, see?" He showed me a picture of the woman, clearly taken from another photographer. I gaped at it, shocked.

"Hey, that was the woman who helped me out when I went there!" I exclaimed, surprised. He raised his eyebrows, and hurriedly continued.

"Yeah, well the big thing about it is that apparently, he'd started toying with her like four or five days before, sending her messages and worse stuff. When she decided to go to the police, her took her." For the first time I actually listened to William, gaping like a fish. He flushed slightly at my gaze not being used to it.

"Apparently he tortured her, cut her up real bad. Maybe she knew something." I closed my mouth.

"I don't understand." I said, confused. "Why didn't he just kidnap her? Why waste time playing around." William frowned slightly, contemplating.

"Well, I'm no psychologist or anything, but in my opinion, the Jokers like a cat. He likes to play with his food before he kills it." I shivered at the brutal honesty in that sentence. William was a lot smarter then he acted, or maybe he did act smart and I'd just never noticed since I spent most of my time ignoring him. He continued to talk to me after a moments hesitation, but I blocked him out, mind whirling, Williams words suffocating me. _He likes to play with his food before he kills it._

_

* * *

_**SO? THINGS WILL BE INTERESTING, VERY SOON, JULIA WILL BE COMING FACE TO FACE WITH THE CLOWN PRINCE OF CRIME SOON! AGAIN, PLEASE REVIEW, I LOVE COMMENTS, THEY WILL MAKE ME UPDATE FASTER!!!!!**_  
_


	8. Chapter 8 Cards

**HI! I'M PUTTING THIS CHAPTER UP EARLY, I WANT TO GET TO THE PART WHERE JULIA MEETS THE JOKER, AND THIS CHAPTER....WELL YOU'LL SEE. THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY DC COMIC CHARACTERS!!!!!!! BUT THE OTHERS ARE MINE!!!!**

* * *

It was around five on a Friday evening, and I lay on the couch, starring at the police reports, my eyes fluttering tiredly. I hadn't been getting much sleep, and I was sooo tired. I knew what would happen when I slept, but my eyes were sagging, and soon, I succumbed to my body, letting my mind drift away, expecting the nightmare. But this time, it was different.

_I was twelve years old, and the circus was in town. I'd gone with my friends, and we had squealed at the wonderful stunts the acrobatics made, and starred in wonder at the decorative costumes. It'd been beautiful, and we'd taken it all in, our eyes wide with wonder. _

_Later that night, I was walking home, down the street, humming slightly to myself, when I heard whimpers, in the alleyway. I stopped, and peaked around the corner, seeing a figure, male, wrestling with another person, female. The male was tugging at what looked like a purse, and I heard the grunt and tiny yelp as he hit the woman. I'm not sure why, but I crept along the alleyway, behind a dumpster, and watched. It seemed the man was only going to take her purse, but now he was toying with her, pressing himself against her shaking body. That's when I saw the gun, lying just a few inches away from me. The man must have dropped it when he went to attack the woman. _

Take it_. I thought naively. _You can save her_. I reached out and grabbed the gun, swinging it around and holding it incorrectly with my trembling hands at the man. At my sudden movement, the man froze, and turned to me, where I could see his face in the light. It was one of the clowns from the fair, looking drunk and intimidating. He starred at me, holding the gun in my shaking hands, and smiled._

"_Hey now girlie, you don't want to be doing that." He said playfully. "Here, little girl, if you just be a doll and give me that, I'll let you go." I shook my head fervently._

"_Let the lady go free." I stammered. "Or…I'll shoot." He laughed at me, swaying slightly._

"_Aww, girlie, you wouldn't do that. Come now, what would your mommy say?" He stepped towards, me, keeping a firm grip on the cowering woman. I put my finger on the trigger, or what I thought was the trigger. _

"_Don't come closer." I shrieked. "I'll shoot!" He shook his head at me._

"_Naw, you won't." His voice changed. "You can't. You're too scared, too weak." He pulled out a knife form his pocket, and while starring at me, took it, and began to stab the woman in the chest. The woman starred at me, her blue eyes piercing mine, as her screams pierced the night and were muffled by the man. I watched her crimson blood pour out of her, each movement stabbing me in the heart_

Shoot_. Said the voice. _Shoot him, or she'll die_._

Please. _Said the woman with her eyes._ Please_ But I couldn't. I watched, tears starting to ebb down my face, as the woman crumpled to the ground. The clown turned to me, and I collapsed to the ground, shrieking at his bloodstained face. He laughed drunkenly._

"_Told ya girlie. You can't do it. You couldn't kill me girlie, but you killed her. Your weak and helpless, just a poor little nothing." I could tell how drunk he was, heard his words tear through me, heard him walk away, swinging the purse in his hand. I starred at the motionless woman. She was dead because of me. I remembered her eyes as she looked at me, pleading. But I couldn't. I'd killed her, she was dead, and her blood was on my hands. All of a sudden, I threw the gun against the wall, and I began to vomit, smelling the blood, the flesh. It was then that I finally looked at my hands, and saw that they were covered with the woman's blood, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't scrub them clean. _

I jolted awake, my face wet, my body soaked in sweat. I breathed heavily, remembering what I'd tried so hard to forget. That was why I was so scarred of the Joker. His face, his clown like appearance, brought back memories of that night, when a woman died because of me. My head hurt like hell, and I blinked, hugging my chest and trying to ignore the stabs of pain through my heart.

Suddenly, my phone began to wring, and I jumped for it after checking the caller id, and fumbling slightly, put it to my ear.

"Hello?" I said breathlessly.

"Hey Julia, its Marissa." Said that bubbly voice. "Since it's a Friday night, do you want to go out to the movies?" I glanced down at my sweat soaked shirt and the papers lying on the coffee table.

"Sure!" I said enthusiastically, hiding my pain easily. "What movie?"

"I honestly don't care." Replied Marissa. "I just need to get rid of all this stress!" I rolled my eyes, _what stress?_ I thought irritably, trying to keep my voice cheery. "Same here, come by your apartment in half an hour?"

"Perfect!" Squealed Marissa. "Oh, I invited a few friends to come, is that okay?"

"Sure." I repeated, sounding like a broken record. "See you soon!"

The evening had been alright, but none the less exhausting. I headed away from Marissa's door, my head cloudy. Her friends had been cheerful enough, perhaps too much, looking like they had smiles surgically applied to their face. I fiddled around for my keys irritably. I couldn't even remember their names…..Susan, Amy…no Jessie? I rolled my eyes. _Who cares_? I didn't even remember the movie we'd seen, some sort of sappy chick flick, waste of time.

Finally finding my keys, I put them in the lock to open the door….wait, it was unlocked. I had locked it before I left; I knew I had so why would it be open? I cautiously opened the door, knowing that it was probably the worst thing I could do. I flicked on the lights….. every thing was fine. My TV was there, nothing was wrecked, my pictures were on the walls, my coffee table bare…. Wait.

I ran over to my table frantically. The files, they were all gone, every single one. The yearbook picture was in my pocket as always, but the mug shots, the photocopied yearbook photos, the reports, gone. I looked under my couch frantically, for a stray paper, for anything. There was nothing. Defeated, I slumped onto my couch, and looked at the bare table. What kind of person breaks into an apartment, then takes a bunch of criminal files, leaving my computer, my TV, and other few valuables untouched?

Suddenly, I sat up. What if they were still here? I slowly pulled out my pocket knife, flicking it open. I crept along, looking into my kitchen warily, and then made my way into bathroom. I turned on the light, and shoved my fist in my mouth to keep from screaming. On my bathroom mirror, written in suspiciously red said _"Curiosity Killed the Cat."_ Taped below it was a Joker card, splatters of the red substance on it. I stumbled backwards, hitting my head on the wall, sinking to the ground, trying to breathe. _Call the police_ said the voice. But I couldn't. I only saw the card, the blood, and that face, hearing the screams of the woman, seeing her pleading eyes. "Why?" I whispered.

When I was finally able to get up, I stood, knife in one hand, gazing at my mirror, confused. Why the message? Why was he after me? Why wasn't I already dead? I remembered something William had told me, just a few days ago. "The Joker is like a cat, he likes to play with his dinner before he kills it." So he was going to push me to the point of insanity then kill me? No, he wants to see what I'll do, how I'll react. The lady from the police archives had gone to the police, and she'd been taken. I started to shake, but not from fear. I wasn't going to take this lying down. I had to face it, I couldn't' be scared of him. _If I call the police, the games over._ I thought. _They can't protect me any more then I can, so why bother? _I walked out of the washroom, my head starting to spin, and headed into the bedroom, slightly cautious. Everything was in place, but I checked underneath my bed and in my closets just to be sure.

My nerves shot, I went back to my living room, and sat on the couch, bouncing my knee impatiently. I turned on the TV, and left the lights on, then pulled an afghan around me, and huddled, eyes wide and frightened. I knew I was being stupid for not calling the police, but I didn't want to have to deal with them, and I didn't want to die. I got up and looked under the sink for some cleaning solution. I went into the washroom, and scrubbed away the blood, trying to cover the smell. The Joker card I also scrubbed, but couldn't throw away. I put it in one of my empty drawers, where it laughed back up at me until I turned it facedown.

Over the next two weeks, I began to receive cards. That morning when I made my coffee there was a Joker card in the cup, then sitting on top of my laptop. When I'd seen them, I'd tried to be brave, and just walked into my room, placing them both in my drawer, face down. When I got to the office, there was one sitting on my desk, and when I bit into my sandwich, there was a card wedged between the meat. This happened over and over again, day by day. Soon, my bravery melted, and I mutely placed card after card in the drawer.

I started getting concerned questions directed at me, and people did a double take when they saw my sleep deprived and stressed out face. Bags became indented into my face, for I couldn't sleep. How could I? Someone was in my apartment, outside my window, in my office, how else could they get me these cards?

I couldn't eat, and I was constantly fidgeting, more then I ever had. I couldn't sit still. I'd bounce my knee sway back and forth, or fidget constantly. Marissa started to call me at least twice a day to ask how I was feeling, and even William toned it down a bit, and I caught him constantly looking at me out of the corner of his eye. As the days went by, my drawer began to fill with Joker cards. In the beginning, I got only five a day, but by the second week, I was given more then fifty cards in one day, all of them laughing as I plummeted into insanity.

My apartment became a war zone, where I was constantly feeling like I was being watched, and where I would leave a room, I would return to see a card lying where I had sat. I spent my nights sitting with the afghan pulled around me, lights on, knife in one hand, just starring. At first, I'd tried to spend the least amount of time possible in my apartment and office, choosing to go elsewhere. But, soon I realized that the cards followed me, I'd find them in food and magazines I'd buy, and They'd show up in my pockets, or fall into my lap when I was sitting on a bench. I never saw anyone who could be giving me these cards, and I'd pray that they'd go away. I prayed that it would stop. But it never did.

Then, October 31st. I had been a nervous wreck the entire day, thinking that something was going to happen, why wouldn't it? When I got home before going to a Halloween party with Marissa, I didn't want to open my door.

"There won't be any," I said loudly to myself, "I'll go in and get dressed, nothing will happen. Don't be silly Julia, your being stupid." I forced a laugh, trying to keep myself cheery. I'd started talking to myself since the first card, actually having full conversations when sitting in my apartment. I checked the door, and saw it was unlocked. Trying not to break down, I opened the door and screamed.

Cards were everywhere, across the floor, on top of cupboards, overflowing out of the sink, and covering the windows. I couldn't see my floor beneath the cards, there were so many….laughing at me, watching me tear apart, watching me scream. I sank to the ground, kneeling in the cards, tears falling down my face, shivering, shaking, and screaming. Everything began to blur, all I could see and hear were screams, her face, his face, crying, laughing. And cards, everywhere. I heard footsteps, and Marissa's voice.

"Julia! Are you okay? I heard you scre— _oh god_." I heard her sobs, heard her phoning the cops, and felt her shaking me.

"Julia, oh god Julia." She shouted at me. I tried to reply, but I couldn't. I couldn't breathe. I faintly heard other neighbors, and Julia's voice on the phone. Then…. Nothing.

"Julia, Julia!" I opened my eyes to see Marissa's face…..and Joker cards. I started to sob; feeling like my heart was being stabbed, feeling the pain. I was still lying on the ground in my hallway, and the cards, were everywhere. I thrashed, trying to get them away from me, but couldn't. My skin felt like it was on fire, and the cards were poison, killing me. Marissa's face disappeared and another's came into focus.

"Julia," came the calm male voice. "Julia, talk to me." I looked at the man, and saw his glasses. Commissioner Gordon stared worriedly back at me.

"There's no escape," I croaked. "The cards are everywhere." Gordon grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up, off the Joker cards. I grabbed at one, and held it tight, and the Commissioner carried me away, down the hall and stairs, out into the October air. I closed my eyes, and let mind be carried away.

When I woke, I was in the Police station, lying on a couch. I sat up quickly, wrapping my arms around my legs. I looked around, and saw Commissioner Gordon starring back at me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. I nodded.

"Fine." I hoarsely replied. He nodded back.

"Listen Julia, I know you're probably emotionally traumatized but I need to ask you a couple of questions." I glanced down at my hand and saw the Joker card clenched tightly in my fingers. I let it go, and watched it fall to the floor, then looked back up Gordon. He winced at my broken face but continued.

"We searched your apartment and found that one of your drawers was filled to the top with cards. Have you been getting cards previously to this incident?"

"Yes."

"How long."

"Two weeks." I said softly staring at the commissioner, tapping my knee with my fingers. Gordon starred at me, shock on his face. "I came home one day and on my bathroom mirror it said "Curiosity killed the Cat" and there was a Joker card tapped beside it. After that, I started getting the cards. I'd find them in my bed, at my office, even in my food."

"Why didn't you contact the police?" Asked Gordon, his face soft. I tilted my head at him.

"Why would I? It wouldn't' help, you know as well as I do that if the Joker wants someone, he will get them." He sighed heavily, and then leaned in.

"Why would the Joker be interested with you?" He asked. I shook my head frantically.

"I…don't know." I whispered my eyes wide.

"You haven't been involved with any activities involving him… or the Batman?" I shook my head, my emotions boiling around. I starred at this man, his caring face, and pitying eyes. Tears began to fall from my dark brown eyes, and I hugged my chest, rocking slightly.

"I don't want to die." I whispered softly, and Gordon looked away from me, his eyes full of regret.

* * *

**Gordon**

"I don't want to die." She said, whimpering slightly. My heart broke at her pitiful face. She was so young, so afraid, and so innocent. I gently escorted her outside to calm down her friend, my mind whirling. After I left her with her friend, I went back into the office, my hands clenching with anger. What kind of city was this? A place where madmen warped others? How many people would have to suffer before he could be caught? And the way the girl had looked at me, her face had said it all. The police couldn't protect her. She knew, she had no hope. In her mind, she was already dead. It was over for her. I slammed my fist down on the table, boiling with anger. The girl's innocence reminded me of my kids…..would they be safe? We had to protect this girl, somehow.

But what could we do?

* * *

**Joker**

It was a surprise that the snooper was so young. I hadn't expected it, and when she saw me, her face had looked so….. defeated. She crumpled to the ground after one of the goons hit her over the head. She'd been sleeping on a cot in one of the offices at the Gotham Police station. Guess they were trying to protect her. Hah. Usually, I wouldn't stop at the opportunity to play with Commissioner Gordon and his brainless cops, but I was impatient. It'd been entertaining, playing with her mind over the weeks, and she'd been easy to crack. But, it had also been frustrating, not knowing what she knew. I looked down gleefully at her crumpled form. I was looking forward to getting rid of her and any information she had.

Own of my goons scooped up her unconscious body, and I opened the door, pumping the two guards on either side with led and reached into my pocket, pulling out the detonator, before any of the surprised officers in front of me could move.

"Just picking up a uh…. package." I said, glancing at the unconscious girl slung unceremoniously over the goons shoulder.

"Give me the detonator!" Said officer in front of me, his eyes wild. "And put the girl down!" I rolled my eyes at the officer.

"Did anyone teach you manners? You won't get your present if you don't say the magic word!" The cop eyed me, sweat running down his face.

"Uh, please give me the detonator?" He said hesitantly. I grinned at him

"Good cop. Here's your present!" I pressed the button, and then flung it into his hands. The whole half of the building in front of me exploded, bodies of armed police officers flying every where. Feeling jubilant, I grabbed at the shirt of an officer, lying at me feet. I pulled him toward me, and he looked at me with pure terror. The officer was young up close, and one of his legs was blown off from the explosion, a bloody stump left over. I checked behind me to make sure the goon still had the girl and then placed my knife inside his mouth. Giving him a brilliant smile, I bent down and whispered in his ear.

"Wanna know how I got my scars?"

* * *

**SO?? I JUST HAD TO PUT IN GORDONS POINT OF VIEW, AND OF COURSE THE JOKERS, SINCE JULIA'S KIND OF KNOCKED OUT!!!! I WILL GET THE NEXT CHAPTER UP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!**


	9. Chapter 9 A Cold and Horrible Truth

**HI EVERYONE! THIS CHAPTER WAS A REAL PAIN, AND I'M STILL REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT IT. I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, I WAS BEING REALLY PICKY. THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!!!! THERE WERE SO MANY!!!! EEEPPP! ENJOY!**

_**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY DC COMIC CHARACTERS OR TDK PLOT!!! BUT THE OTHER CHARACTERS AND PLOT ARE MIIINNNEEE!**_

* * *

**Julia**

When I came to, it was dark. I couldn't see anything, and my head hurt terribly. I tried to move, but found I was bounded to the chair I was sitting in. Surprisingly calm, I felt for my penknife, hidden in my shoe, where I'd placed it ever since the cards started coming. It was there, and I heaved a sigh. I tried to remember what had happened, but the last thing I'd seen was that painted face from hell….. then nothing. Suddenly, light came flooding into the room, and I yelped, shut my eyes tight against the blare. That's when I heard the chuckling. I squinted through my eyelashes and watched as the Joker sauntered towards me, a skip in his step, humming slightly. I glanced about, my eyes rolling frantically in their sockets. I seemed to be in a large warehouse, with metal crates around me.

"Why heelloo." He said, in a sing-song voice. "Why the uh…." He gave me a frown then a smile, "long face?" I stared at him waiting for the suffocation, waiting for the fright….but there was nothing. I was shaking, but the tension over the past few weeks seemed to have changed everything. No more was I frozen, though I could still see _her_. I gave him a glare of venom, ready for anything; no more would he get away with scaring me. He cackled at my face, and then pulled over a chair to sit across from me, running his knife along his purple gloves.

"How'd you like my presents?" He drawled, leaning in so I could smell his putrid breath. I cringed, and sunk into my chair, but kept calm.

"I'm never playing a card game again." I replied sourly. He leaned backwards, laughing hoarsely, eyes never leaving my face.

"Oh, you have quite a tongue; you should have been a lawyer." I smirked at him.

"I'm not much of a liar." I replied smoothly, and the Joker giggled gleefully.

"Ah! A girl after my own tastes!" He replied. My fists balled up. _I was nothing like him. Nothing._

"If you're talking about fashion choices, you're mistaken clown." I snarled back, catching him momentarily off guard. He put on a mock wounded face.

"Ouch, your voice could cut glass. It doesn't do to act so uh…down." He cracked his neck at me and starred. I watched him, relaxing slightly. I eyed his face trying to see behind the makeup, but couldn't. His eyes glinted frighteningly back at me, and I fidgeted, tapping my fingers irritably. There was something about those eyes….

Suddenly in a flashing movement, the clown jumped at me, almost knocking me to the ground, and grabbed my cheek. I whimpered, mind whirling, but then he place his knife gently against my neck. The feel of the cold steel on my skin slowed down my pulse, and I breathed slowly, eyes fixed on his face.

"Now were going to play a...uh….little game." He hissed in my ear.

"Have you ever played truth or dare sweethear-t?" I nodded, letting the blade calm me down. "Well, were going to play a game kinda like that. I'm going to ask you….. a _question_ and you're going to answer me, truthfully."

"What if I don't?" I asked, instantly regretting my mistake. But the Joker merely chuckled

"I would tell the truth if I were you sweetheart." He replied leaning in, so I could feel his hot putrid breath on my ear. "So….what's your name?"

"Julia Samuels." I replied, playing along.

"Yes yes." He said impatiently, eyes sparkling darkly. "Good job sweetheart. Now…why have you been snooping around in old police and newspaper records?" My breath caught at the abruptness of his words and I felt his grip tighten excitedly.

"I needed information for a story." I lied easily, keeping my face straight. The knife moved quickly down and slashed across my arm, cutting deeply. I gasped in pain, and looked down as blood slowly oozed out of the large cut. The Joker returned the knife to my neck, leaning in close to my ear.

"Don'..me." He growled, and I shook, cringing in pain as he grabbed at my cut with his free arm digging his fingers inside, watching as I shrieked. He then wiped the blood on his face, along his scars. He gave me a smile straight from hell. I tried to lean away from the knife, but he roughly grabbed my head and forced it back.

"Sweetheart, your cheating…. You're uh lying. Cheaters never prosper." He cackled, and I winced with pain as warm blood slowly began to drip to the floor.

"No," he said shaking his head and licking his lips. "No….no that's not it. Your being a real party pooper." He watched me fidget in his grasp, humming slightly, contemplating.

"I want to know what you know about _Jack Napier_." He said, speaking my fathers name with slight hatred. I kept my face as calm and composed as I could. Whatever the Joker wanted, it had to do with my father, and I _wasn't_ giving him any information.

"I've never heard the name before." I said weakly, trying not to look at him. I heard the Joker huff impatiently, and then place the knife in my mouth.

"No _Julia_," he said, scolding me like a child. "You have, but your ly-ing." He said in a singsong voice. He took his knife out of my mouth and grabbed my arm, then pressed the knife gently into my cut. I screamed in pain as the skin tore, tears ebbing out of my eyes. The Joker laughed gleefully, bouncing slightly. He put the bloody knife to my face, and ran it flat-sided across, streaking my blood against my face. I looked up at him, my eyes pleading, fright taking over my face. He clicked his tongue impatiently.

"No matter what sweetheart, your uh… telling me what you know, and there is nothing I won't do to get it out of you. I have _no boundaries_." I watched him silently, tears streaming, pain coursing, warm blood dripping. He enjoyed my pain, and grabbed my cut once again. I shrieked, he laughed. Then, he abruptly stood up, and crossed the room toward the door, shutting it behind him and plunging me into darkness.

I sobbed freely now, knowing what was going on. He was going to leave me here for a few hours slowly bleeding to death, let the fear control me, and then come at me again. The next time, it wouldn't just be my arm that would bleed.

I tried desperately to kick off my shoe for my pocket knife, using my other foot for leverage. Finally, my shoe slipped off my foot, and onto the floor. I groaned inwardly. My hands were behind my back, how was I supposed to get to it? I started to rock back and forth, till I fell, with a loud thump to my left side, so I wouldn't hit my gash. My breath quickened as I lay side ways on the ground. I inched slowly around to come in contact with the shoe, searching for it in the pitch black. There. Sweat mixing with tears; I inched along till my hands were right against the shoe. I pulled out my pocket knife, and carefully flicked it open, setting it to work on the bindings.

It took forever to get through all the bindings and when I was done, my head was fuzzy from loss of blood, and my breath came short and haggard. I ripped at my coat to get bindings for my right arm, and blindly winded the fabric around my forearm, wincing painfully. Once that was done, I used my hands to pick up the chair, and sat back down on it, arranging the bindings to look like I was still tied up. I wouldn't be able to find the door in the darkness, and the warehouse was way too big. Even then what would I do? I wouldn't be able to get out anyway. I grimaced. I'd have to take on the next person who came in here and use them to get me out of there, which would most likely be….the Joker.

"I'm the stupidest person in the world." I said irritably. I wouldn't be able to do it. I might be able to get in a few hits, maybe, but I couldn't overpower him. What else was I going to do? I couldn't just wait here; I would _die_, slowly and painfully. I starred into the darkness, heart thumping. I'd just have to try.

When the doors opened again, I tensed, and squinted at the figure coming back. I had my hands clasped behind my back, my pocket knife, open and ready. Trying to look as pitiful as I could, I hung my head, listening for his footsteps.

"Alright now," he said his voice impatient. "This time, I don't want lies." His voice had a cold tone to it, and I shivered. "Hmm." He said as he walked slowly towards me.

"Are you scared?" I kept my eyes on the ground, waiting. "Do want me to tell you a story?" I heard the flicking of a knife. "Do you want to know how I got my scars?" I stifled a whimper. _Now._ I lunged at the figure in front of me, knife slashing through the air. The figure sidestepped to the left, but I slashed at the purple clad arm, and rolled across the ground, knife wet with blood. He moved forward slightly

"Come any closer and I'll cut out your eyeballs." I said, my voice shaking with fear. The Joker, stopped and looked at the small cut in his arm. Then, he started _laughing_.

* * *

**Joker**

Oh, the girl had a backbone! It was cute really, her little attempt barely even made a mark! I starred at the girl, in stitches of laughter, loving the pain on my arm, loving her obvious fear and rage. She looked haggard, curly hair wild, face hollow and covered with dried blood, eyes black with fury. Her cheeks were flushed red, and I could imagine her crimson blood spilling out of her neck, _lovely._

Her face pulled at the back of my mind, to far away memories. I cocked my head slightly. She looked so familiar, her stance, her eyes. I focused in on her. Her emotions were splattered across her face, and she swayed slightly from the loss of blood. Her hands clenched her small pocket knife, her anger slowly ebbing away as she watched me laugh.

"Oh, you're just so much fun!" I said happily, trying to shake off the feeling of unease. "This'll be great!" I pointed my knife at her, still laughing madly, bouncing on the balls of my feet.

"You're crazy." Said the girl, looking at me incredulously and fearfully. I tensed, laughter gone, and lunged at the girl, slamming her into the wall, and holding her there.

"No," I growled. "nnoo…..I'm not…..nnooo." She tried to jab at me with her knife, but I knocked it out of her weak hand.

"You've never played with the devil before have you Sweetheart?" I said in her ear. "Cause the game is over, and _you lost_." I slammed her against the wall repeatedly, hearing her cries of pain.

"What do you know about _Jack Napier_?" I snarled at her. She starred back at me, mouth clenched shut. I threw her across the room, then came forward grabbing her left arm. I took one of fingers, and bent it back until the satisfying crack came, and she screamed. I shook her repeatedly, and then let her fall to the ground, putting my knife to her neck, pressing it in slightly, just so she started to bleed. I watched her face, watched her pain.

"Julia," I said softly. "You can't win, it's over. Tell me what you know." The girl looked at my face, and shook her head, ever so slightly.

"No one's going to come sweethear-t, you're all alone." The girl twitched at my words, but held her head high.

"No, you're wrong." She replied defiantly. Inside, I was amazed. The girl sure had stamina. That's when I saw the paper, lying out of the girl pocket. Keeping my knife to her neck, I picked up the picture, and starred. _Who was this girl?_ I looked back at the girl, who was starring right back, eyes filled with pain and furry. She wasn't going to be able to take the pain much longer, she'd pass out soon. I brandished the picture in her face.

"Who gave you this?" I said, watching her cringe with fear.

"My mother." She said quietly.

"What's her name?" I asked. She looked back up at me, and I grabbed another finger, and broke it. She screamed and thrashed. I took another one.

"Erica Samuels." She screamed, looking pitiful. Erica Samuels…. Hmmm. I'd heard that name before, a long time ago… before….I bit at my scars hesitantly, and then turned my attention back to the girl. I bent her finger slightly, seeing her eyes slowly slip out of focus.

"Why did she give you this?" I hissed. The girl starred up at me, face broken, and whispered.

"Cause he's my father." I heard her say, before she collapsed, and I let go of my knife, hearing it clatter to the floor.

****

Erica Samuels. Now I remembered. Big chested slut, in my grade, and we….. I leaned back into my chair, starring at the walls of my room, twiddling with my knife. The girl in the warehouse couldn't really be my….. my….. I spat onto the ground, wiping at my face with my hands, rubbing off some of my paint. What did it really matter? No, it didn't, the girl didn't know and I'd just have to flick my knife and she'd be gone.

* * *

**Julia**

I lay on the ground, weak and pained. It was over; I'd pretty much signed my fathers' death warrant. I whimpered, and let the tears run down my face. Everything hurt, and my shirt was wet with blood. What had I done? The doors opened again, and I raised my head ever so slightly to see the figure coming towards me. No, I wasn't going to die like a fish out of water. I shakily stood, grabbing onto a box to steady myself. I could hear the cackling, and embraced the pain. I saw him come into focus, saw his face. It seemed like he'd rubbed off a lot of his makeup, I could actually see his real skin. It gave me an odd feeling, like I remembered his face, without the makeup, without the scars. I shook my head, trying to think straight. I needed to be ready. I wasn't going down without a fight.

* * *

**Joker**

I starred at the girl watching her stand up shakily, watching the defiance in her eyes, the pain and the anger. I saw the way she held herself, ready to pounce like a cat, just like I did. Her eyes were so similar, her reactions…… I tossed my knife to the other hand, nearing the pitiful girl. _It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter_. I chanted softly to myself, and then came to a stop in front of the girl, watching her focus in on my face, her hands balled into fists.

"Hey there sweetheart." I said gruffly, cracking my neck. I needed to get rid of this girl, my impatience was wearing thin. "Since you've been such a uh ….good girl, I'm going to tell you that story." I came forward, and the girl didn't move, didn't flinch. She gave me a glare, full of hatred, fear, pain, and sadness. I saw her limbs tense to jump, and I pounced, pushing her up against a crate, placing my knife into her mouth.

"Alight sweetheart," I said, panting with excitement. "I know you want to know, so I'm going to tell you, how I got my scars." I opened my mouth, but the girl replied before I could say anything.

"You know what?" She said. "I don't fucking care. So why don't you just kill me right now, because I don't want to hear your sob story…I don't care." Her chest rose up and down and she starred at me, a glint in her eye. I glanced down and saw the tip of her blade in her shirt sleeve. She moved her arm in a flash and slashed me deeply across my leg, and I felt the gush of blood. I knocked the knife out of her hand, throwing the girl against the crate. She grinned at me, her eyes alive with malice as she tumbled to the ground, and this time… she laughed. I watched her, clutching her stomach, her laughter echoing around me. Tears came to her eyes as she laughed loud maniacal giggles. It was odd watching her, like looking into a mirror. Disturbing.

"Go ahead." She said, between breaths. "Go ahead and kill me. You'll probably kill my mother and father next, I can't live with that being my fault." I knelt down side her, grabbing her chin. She looked up at me, her laughter dying, eyes fading. I gave her a Cheshire cat grin. _Kill her_. Said the voice.

_Did I really have too? No. She was just so much fun. _

"You know what sweetheart; I think I'm not going to kill you…..yet." She looked up in confusion_. I will kill her eventually_. I told myself_. I will….just not yet._

"You're just _too_ much fun." I cupped her face, watching as an odd look flashed in her eyes. I ignored it, placing my blade at her neck. Then I began to laugh.

"Hey sweethear-t, did you ever go to camp?" She nodded slightly. "Well uh, then you know the saying, what happens at camp, stays at camp, or," I glanced around the warehouse. "What happens at the warehouse stays at the warehouse." I grinned at her again, and just to make sure she understood, I broke another finger, and nicked her leg, giggling as she hissed with pain. The blood looked lovely, dripping onto the floor. I used the blood and rubbed my face with my hand. I took my arm away, covered in makeup. I raised the handle of my knife, ready to knock her out, and suddenly the girl spoke. Her face was filled with horror, with understanding.

"No…" She whispered. "No…. Jack Na—" I slammed the handle onto her head, and she collapsed. I stood there, breathing heavily, eyeing her crumpled form. _She knows. Kill her now, do it. _Said the voice.

_No. I can't. Not yet._

_Don't tell me your going soft? _Replied the voice mockingly.

_No I'm not! I'll kill her, just not yet._

_Sure.

* * *

  
_

**Gordon.**

I massaged my temples, leaning against the police truck. The Joker had blown up part of the MCU…again. I surveyed the damage, which was hurriedly being reconstructed. If that wasn't bad enough, Julia Samuels was nowhere to be seen.

Maybe he gave her a quick death. I thought hopefully, but knew that was not the case. She probably was still alive, and in great pain. Suddenly, Officer Kelly came sprinting across the parking lot.

"Commissioner….we…have...found….the girl." He said between labored breaths. Instantly, I climbed into the truck, Officer Kelly with me.

"Where?" I asked, my stomach churning with excitement.

"Wayne tower." He replied. I eyed him calculatedly.

"What?" Officer Kelly nodded vigorously.

"Yes, but sir, she's not inside the building. She's hanging off the roof."

I mounted the steps of Wayne Tower, seeing the dot hanging from the roof. Oh god. When the other officers and I reached the top, we sawn the graffiti all across the ground, leading to a rope, tied to the side of the building. The officers swarmed, gently pulling the girl up, the rope tied around her waist. I glanced at her face, and saw that she was unconscious, dried blood smeared across her face, a painted smile on her lips. We brought her inside, and Bruce Wayne himself stood there, genuine concern on his face.

"How is she?" He asked in a smooth voice. I glanced at the girl.

"We're not sure. Do you have an office we can use?" He led us into a spare room with a couch in the corner. Where we laid the girl on the couch, wary to move her any farther until the paramedic checked her over. While the paramedic worked, I starred at girl. Her face was white from blood loss on the nasty cut on her arm. Bruises covered her head and face, as well as her knees. Two of her fingers were swollen, obviously broken. She had a few small cuts from a knife on her neck and face, but otherwise, she was mostly unharmed. Officer Kelly breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank god she's still in one piece." He said softly. I glanced at him.

"Don't be thanking him yet. You don't know what that man did with her mind." I replied harshly. I glanced at Bruce Wayne, who stood impassively, looking at the girl oddly, confused. The paramedic stood finally.

"Her head looks to be banged up pretty badly." He said briskly. "We're going to need to take her to the hospital to run some checkups." I nodded, and turned to Bruce Wayne.

"Mr. Wayne, I'm sorry for the in-convience, but we had to evacuate the building, for safety measures." Wayne nodded understandably, his eyes still focused on the girl, a furrow in his brow.

"Yes, completely understandable." He replied. "Did you find anything?" I shook my head, and looked at me confused.

"No we didn't, and it's odd. The Joker's unpredictable enough, but his antics are always on the large scale, this looks less together." I looked towards the girl. "Maybe he was a little stressed, but that's unlikely seeing how he looks." Wayne chuckled dryly, but kept a serious face.

"Do you know why he wanted the girl? Maybe that's why this set-up wasn't his usual, maybe it was her." I shook my head.

"That's what we're going to have to find out." I heard a slight gasp. My gaze flickered towards the girl, and saw her eyes opening blearily. The paramedic and I rushed to her side, and I felt Bruce Wayne inch closer. She looked up at us, her eyes faint and clouded.

"Julia?" I asked quietly. The girl focused in on me with recognition and nodded slightly, looking relived.

"Oh…." She said softly. "Is it over?"

"Yes it is." I replied, knowing very well it wasn't. She nodded and fell back into unconsciousness, while I starred at her guiltily. Whatever the reason the Joker had given this girl her freedom, it was clear he wasn't near done with her.

* * *

**ALRIGHT SO??????? I REALLY HOPE YOU ALL LIKED IT, AND YOU WILL BE SEEING MORE OF BRUCE WAYNE. CAN'T HAVE A BATMAN FANFIC WITHOUT THE MAN HIMSELF!!!! I HOPE I HAVE SATSFYED YOU WITH THE J&J INTERACTION, AND BELIEVE ME, ITS NOT OVER. SO...PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!! PLEASE!!!**


	10. Chapter 10 Truth Hurts

**HI EVERYONE! I AM ASTOUNDED BY THE INCREASE IN REVIEWS FOR THE LAST CHAPTER AND VERY THANKFUL. I KNOW A LOT OF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH REVIEWS MEAN TO AUTHORS, AND YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME.**

_ There is this **AMAZING** (SERIOUSLY **A-M-A-Z-I-N-G**) fanfic by **WickedWillow01** called **Part of the Plan**. There's also one before it called **Ace in the Hole** which is as good as this one, though you don't have to read it to understand Part of the Plan. Its a great story about the crazy and brutal relationship between the Joker and Harley Quinn, probably one of the best out there. The Joker is written inmacuatly, and I wish that I could someday write as well as that. Harley is also wonderfully well-written, and totally Nolan-fied. So check them out, they are sooo worth it!!!!_

_**DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN TDK OR ANY DC COMIC CHARACTERS, BUT ALL THE OTHERS ARE MMMIIIINNNNEEEE!**  
_

* * *

**Julia**

Where was I? All I could see was white. Was I in heaven? I laughed to myself. _No way_. I rolled my eyes around, taking in the medical equipment. No, I was in a hospital. I raised my head slightly, taking in my body covered by a sheet. I raised my arms, finding both arms in a cast. Letting my head fall back into the pillow, I starred up at the ceiling, trying to remember what had happened. But I couldn't. At that moment a doctor came in. He smiled at me tentatively.

"Good afternoon Julia." He said quietly. I just starred at him. He sighed and continued.

"I'm sure your wondering what day it is, its November 4th. You've been at the hospital for two days, slipping in and out of consciousness, but you probably don't remember." He waited for my response, but I didn't move, hanging onto his words, wanting to know what happened. He stood there awkwardly for a minute then changed the subject.

"I guess you see that your hands are in casts. One will be removed very shortly, we've just been trying to protect the stitches, and the other is going to be fitted for just your hand. You broke three fingers." His voice wavered. Suddenly I remembered. The snap of my bones, the laughter….the…..truth. My father…._my father_….was the Joker.

The doctors tried to get me to speak, but I refused other then stating that I was Julia Samuels. I spent most of my time starring at the white wall, my eyes blank and unfocused, remembering the warehouse. It was about the second day when I realized that no matter how much I tried to deny it, the Joker was my father. It made so much sense, all of it. Except for the feeling in my stomach, which I soon realized was hatred. I didn't care if he was my father, I hated that man. Batman didn't like him, so why would I? But, I still couldn't shake off my depressed feeling, like something had died. I'd been so excited to meet him, I painted a picture, a perfect father, and now I got this? My hands clenched into fists and I glared at the wall. I wanted the father I deserved, not some madman.

Wait. I unclenched my hands. Maybe he was what I deserved, was I not like him? I thought back. His face had been covered by paint, but his eyes, the way he moved, sometimes the way he talked….was me.

My third day in hospital, I had visitors. William and Marissa came into the room, carrying flowers from them, Jonathon Green, and even Ms. Jones. Marissa starred at me, fear clouding her eyes, but William smiled genuinely and sat on my bed.

"Hey Jules! How are you feeling?" He asked, grinning at me. I just starred at him, saying nothing. Marissa edged away and sank into one of the armchairs.

_Flake._ Said the voice, and I had to fight to ignore the feelings rushing through me. Ever since I'd arrived in the hospital, when I really felt down, I'd hear a voice hissing in my ear, telling me horrible things……..things some part of me truly wanted to say. It scared me, these thoughts; they seemed even more frightening when the voice in my head said them.

I starred at the white wall, my face like a stone. William nodded at me understandably and began to fill me in on what I'd missed. Surprisingly, I listened, attentively, my eyes fixed on the white wall, letting his voice wash over me. The voice in my head didn't speak during the entire time.

When they had to leave, they both hugged me, but Marissa barely touched me, eyes filled with fear. I felt the voice building up inside of me, then William hugged me warmly, and my mouth twitched, enjoying the calming feeling, earning a glowing look from him.

Later that day, Commissioner Gordon came in, looking worried.

"Julia?" He asked quietly. I nodded, but kept looking at the wall. I'd started to scrape at it with my fingernails, drawing jagged streaks, like scars. I wished the wall was red, so it would look more realistic. "How are you feeling?" He asked quietly, and I didn't respond.

"The doctors said that your brain is functioning normally, but you won't talk." I shrugged my shoulders, tapping me knee absently, but turned to look at him. He sighed heavily.

"We found your mothers address and were going to contact her so she can come in and see you and—" I shook my head vigorously.

"NO!" I shouted hoarsely, causing Gordon to jump and look at me, surprise written all over his face. "Please no, don't." I don't know why I was so adamant, I kind of wanted my mother to come and comfort me, but, the Joker knew her name. I couldn't bring her here, she'd be killed. Gordon starred at me as I had this inner battle then continued.

"Don't you just want to notify her…?"

"No." I said firmly, starring down at my hands. He sighed.

"Fine, we won't contact her. Now you need to do something for us. I know it may be difficult, but you need to tell us about your kidnapping." I raised my head, and starred at Gordon's kind face.

"Julia, the only way for us to help you is to know what happened. You need to tell us." I starred at Gordon, contemplating. I could tell him everything, and they would know who the Joker really was. But, then they'd know what I was. And what had the Joker told me? _"What happens at the warehouse stays at the warehouse." _What would happen if I told? He'd come after me, but not at first. He'd probably kill others around me first. How could I let that happen? And there was another part of me, none the less a very small part, that didn't want to tell, that didn't want to hurt the man. That wanted, so desperately to believe, that he could become the father I wanted even though it wasn't possible.

"Commissioner," I said quietly, my voice cracking slightly. "I…I don't remember." The Commissioner looked at me incredously. "You don't _remember_?" He asked, his eyebrows raised. I nodded my head.

"Yes. All I remember is pain and random questions which I couldn't answer." The commissioner starred at me, not even taking my lie for a second. I didn't care though, I was just happy to hear his voice, it calmed me. I started to think about other calming things, Batman. I wished Batman could solve all my problems, he could get rid of the Joker for me, and then take me in as his own daughter and we'd be happy….

_No, you idiot_, said that irritating voice, pushing itself inside me at the mere mention of the Jokers name. _Stop it, that's the stupidest idea ever. _

"Look Julia, if you don't tell us why he went after you, we can't protect you." I smiled at him, almost dreamily, trying to ignore the voice, trying think on the bright side….trying…

"You told me you could protect me before, and look what happened. I'm better off without your help." I said softly.

"Julia, the information you could give us would help bring the Joker back into captivity. You'd be saving other lives." I sighed impatiently, but gave him an encouraging smile. What was with that? I never smiled and all of a sudden I was grinning so much my muscles hurt?

"Look, I'm sorry Commissioner, but I don't remember anything." _Bug off._ I was angry now, depressed. Batman couldn't solve my problems, I was being stupid. The smile on my lips began to weaken, and I glared at the commissioner.

"I really don't remember." My voice took on a dangerous tone, and the Commissioner noticed. He stood, looking down at me, confused and pitying.

"Well, if you start remembering, we'd really appreciate it if you contacted us." I nodded, my smile gone, and I turned back to my jagged marks on the hospital wall, waiting until the commissioner left the room to put my face in my hands.

A few hours later a new face showed itself in my hospital room.

_Four visitors in one day? Someones popular. _Said the voice snidely. I looked up from my doodles on the wall to see a man in a neat suit standing there, holding an envelope with my name on it. His face was easily recognizable, Bruce Wayne. I raised my eyebrows, and he smiled dashingly at me, extending a hand.

"Hello Ms. Samuels, my name is Bruce Wayne." I nodded cautiously. While his smile was warm, his eyes were boring into me, filled with mixed emotions, some quite frightening. He held out the card to me.

"This is for you. As you probably know, the police found you at Wayne Tower, and on behalf of Wayne Enterprises, we would just like to make sure you're alright and wish you well." I starred at this man. It made sense, but why would he come personally? Was he curious, did he want to know about what had happened with the Joker? I smiled hugely at him, my eyes cold with hatred. There was no way I was telling pretty boy anything.

"Thanks." I said, my smile never wavering, stretching as far as I could make it. Surprisingly, he stepped back sharply, his body suddenly tensing.

"Well….I, hope you feel well soon." He said quickly, leaving the room. I starred after him, eyebrows furrowed. This day was no end to visitors.

I was released form the hospital a day after my visit with the Commissioner. The doctors were relieved I'd finally started talking, and they'd finally pronounced me sound enough to leave, not without a ton of acting on my part. Because no matter how hard I tried to deny it, I was starting to loose my mind.

I had refused protection from the police, much to their displeasure and Ms. Jones had offered to give me a week off, but I'd told her I'd start on Monday. I needed to get back into the swing of things. When I opened the door to my apartment, I almost broke down from exhaustion. I fell into my couch and sobbed uncontrollably. Why me? With all the shit I had to go through in my life, why did I have to get any more? I wished I'd never known, that I'd never found out anything. I raised my eyes and saw a joker card stuck on the screen of the TV.

What the hell? I got up on shaky feet and took the card in both hands. _Welcome home_, it said, printed in the corner of the card. My anger rose to a boiling point. I hated him, I wanted to _kill_ him. Tear him limb from limb, carve smiles all over his body and see how he liked it. The voice took control. I ripped the card tearing it into little pieces, my hands in a frenzy. It was only then, looking down onto the broken pieces of paper, of my life, that my anger subsided. I fell to my knees and desperately tried to piece together the card, my hands blurry through tears. I clutched at the paper with shaking hands, clinging to a fraying rope. No matter how much I hated that man, the other part was pining for the father it'd never had.

A few hours later, I sat, curled up in a ball watching the TV. I was done with feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't erase what had happened, and I knew there was no way I would forget it. And it wasn't like it was going to fade away. The Joker wasn't going to just leave me alone. No, he was going to make sure I'd tell no one. He was going to push me completely over the edge, and if that happened, I had a perfect example of what I would become. It was already happening, the nervous twitching, and the random bursts of laughter. I had to save myself, and the only way to do that was to fight back.

I sat up, renowned vigor flowing through my veins. It was perfect. I would clear Batman's name, I would do everything in my power to screw over the Joker. I had to make myself entertaining, interesting. It was suicidal, but it wasn't like I had long to live anyway, not with what I knew. But right now, I needed to sleep. I glanced at my door. It looked so flimsy. Maybe I should get some padlocks for it, windows too. I grinned to myself. Oh if the Joker wanted to play, was I going to play.

I spent most of the weekend proofing my apartment, tricking it out with padlocks. I wasn't really sure where all this bravery was coming from, but I had to show this clown that I wasn't some stupid girl, that I was a threat. If I didn't, I'd be dead by the end of the week. He didn't care if I was his daughter, how could he? It wasn't like these locks would really be much of a problem, but hopefully it would give him a good laugh.

I had to make myself interesting, if I wanted to survive. And clown proofing my apartment would do just fine….for now.

That Sunday night, I was just checking all the locks, when my phone rang. I hurried over to it, and answered cautiously.

"H-hello?" I asked, my voice wavering.

"Hey Jules?" I relaxed and rolled my eyes. William.

"Yeah?"

"What's up?" He said calmly. "Marissa said she hasn't heard from you all weekend, and you won't open your door to her. She also said that she saw you with a bunch of locks. Are you okay?" I sighed irritably. William was just too inquisitive for his own good.

"I'm fine; I was just trying to fix my lock, uh…. The police officers broke it when they were inspecting my apartment."

"Oh, okay." Replied William, his voice taking on a disbelieving tone. "Julia listen, whatever happened to you while you were gone, it doesn't matter to me. Your still Julia and I'll treat you just the same." My eyes widened, surprised at the sincerity in his voice.

"Oh, uh….thanks." He laughed.

"Do I have the infamous Julia Samuels at loss for words?" I giggled, a normal giggle, and then winced. I didn't like this feeling, warmth spreading through me, I didn't want it, I didn't deserve it.

"Well, I better get going….." I said, trying to get him to take the hint. He did, and I frowned at the hurt in his voice.

"Uh, okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked hopefully.

"Yep. Bye." I replied hurriedly, slamming the phone into the receiver. I then turned, and after making sure all the locks were shut, I went over to the coffee table, and continued cutting out the Batman related articles in the paper, awkwardly trying to work with my left hand, as my hand was in a cast, working to heal my broken fingers. The gash on my left arm had some tensor bandage around it, but it was fine and healing nicely.

I worked hard at cutting out the articles and pictures, ready for the scrapbook I had decided to start. It would help me with my investigation, and I needed to do something to keep the voice away, to keep away the blackness. I was so busy that I only once glanced at the clumsily taped together Joker card, its pieces jumbled and broken, just like my soul. It lay on the table beside my arm, laughing at my foolishness.

**

* * *

Bruce Wayne**

I read over Julia Samuels medical papers that I'd scanned last night, breaking easily into the hospital. It was something about this girl, she was unsettling, and I still couldn't understand why the Joker had let her go. Glancing at the unfinished juice and sandwich Alfred had left me, I looked toward the computer screen. The way the girl acted, it was familiar, and frightening, it bothered me.

I glanced back down at the medical papers. I could see from the report that the girl had ADHD, and according to the doctors, had developed a very minor case of bipolar. Yet she worked for the Gotham times, and no one seemed to have sensed anything wrong with her. I eyed her picture on the screen, wild and curly dirty blonde hair, thin haunting face, pale skin, and dark, almost black eyes. Those eyes were so familiar, yet I just couldn't place it.

I took the cowl off my head and dropped it to the ground, rubbing my eyes tiredly. The girl was so different, yet so familiar. The way she had looked at me in the hospital room was so confusing, her face had changed, her attitude, everything. I was speaking to one Julia Samuels at first, but then suddenly, she changed completely, for the worse. Even though something about her revolted me, in some way, I pitied her. I remember seeing her, sitting forlornly in that hospital bed, fidgeting, her face broken…… her face. Every time I saw it, my stomach clenched, and I tensed defensively, like she was a threat. But why? I pounded the desk in frustration. Who was this girl, and why had the Joker let her go?

* * *

**I KNOW, THERE WAS NO JOKER IN THIS ONE, AND IF YOUR GETTING TICKED OFF AT JULIA FOR FEELING SORRY FOR HERSELF, THIS WAS THE CHAPTER WHERE SHE GOT TO FEEL BAD. SHE WON'T BE COMPLAING AS MUCH FROM NOW ON, SHE'LL BE TRYING TO STAY ALIVE, AND DEAL WITH ALL THE OTHER STUFF! HOPE YOU ALL LIKED IT, EVEN THOUGH THERE ISN'T MUCH ACTION GOING ON. **

**ONE QUESTION THOUGH..... DOES ANYONE KNOW THE EXACT PEOPLE HARVEY DENT KILLED IN THE DARK KNIGHT....THE ONES BATMAN TOOK THE BLAME FOR???? I'VE LOOKED ALL OVER THE INTERNET AND NO-ONE KNOWS FOR SURE. I KNOW A COUPLE THAT MIGHT ARE DEFINITE.**

**DETECTIVE WUERTZ**

**MARONI'S DRIVER**

**MARONI'S BODYGUARD (I THINK, YOU SEE HIM GET PULLED OFF SCREEN IN THE MOVIE)**

**MAYBES....**

**HARVEY DENT-MAYBE BATMANS BLAMMED FOR HIM TOO???**

**SALVATORE MALRONI- HE WASN'T WEARING HIS SEATBELT AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM!!!  
**

**SO... IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEA, PLEASE TELL ME WHEN YOU REVIEW. THANKS A TON EVERYONE!!!!**


	11. Chapter 11 Discoveries

**While I was writing this chapter, I realized something really weird. I was unconsciously writing William kind of like Harley Quinn, not as spaced out, but like her in many ways. William's like a male version of Harley, it really freaked me out. I'd planned him out before, all down to the tiny details, and hadn't noticed until this chapter. **

**He doesn't have Harley's characteristic blond hair, but I made his eyes blue, he never stops talking, and he's bouncy and cheerful. Also, he has an unspoken admiration for Julia, which you will see how she doesn't really return it. When I found this out, I just had to elaborate on it. Just like Julia's changing, so is William. Since I pointed out the relationship between him and Harley Quinn, it's kind of obvious as to what kind of part he will be playing in this story. But do not fret, this is not a love story, and never will be. I'm simply giving Julia some lifelines, people who she can use to cling to sanity. I'm rambling now, sorry thanks a ton for all your reviews, hope you like this chapter!!**

_**  
Disclaimer: don't own nothing to do with DC COMICS....don't sue please......**_

**

* * *

  
**

I hurried down the hallway of Gotham times, my heels clicking across the floor. I was extremely proud of myself today, having gotten a huge lead on my investigation for Batman, a cop named Anna Ramirez. She was suspected of working for Malroni, but then got off and was currently still working with the Gotham Police. The other cop that had been working for Marloni, Detective Wuetz, had been killed, supposedly by Batman, while Ramirez hadn't, though she'd suffered a concussion from being knocked out and had reported that she didn't know who attacked her.

There was an unmistakable pattern in the people who had been killed, Maroni was in a car crash, his bodyguard was killed, and the corrupt cop Wuetz was shot, while Ramirez was attacked. She was part of this, and so easy to reach. I opened my office door and glanced up. There, with his feet up on the table, sat the Joker, deep purple pants, dark green vest, and make-up angrily applied. He cocked an eyebrow at me, and I pulled out my knife, flicking it open, slamming the door behind me.

"Why heellloo." He drawled. "Long time no see."

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, my voice shaking with fear. The Joker stood and came forward slightly, while I pressed myself against the wall, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

"I'm actually here to know why this," he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out something black and metal, grinning manically. It was a lock from my apartment "was on your door. You should never lock your father out of your life sweetheart." I twitched at the word father, and looked at the Joker furiously. This time I moved forwards, my sight blinded by anger.

"You are not my father." I hissed brandishing my knife forward. The Joker grabbed at my wrists roughly, locking them together and pushed me back into the wall, slamming me against it, causing me to see stars.

"Uh, yeah I am." He said, putting on a parental face. "Eat your vegetables and be back by 11, or else." He released my hands and I moved away from him, rubbing them furiously. They were going to bruise. I continued to rub my wrists, moving towards the phone. He watched me uninterestedly. I put my hand on the phone threateningly.

"Get out, or I'll call." He rolled his eyes.

"You wouldn't sweetheart." He said, picking at one of his nails. I sighed heavily, irritated. He was right, I wouldn't. I wanted to, so badly, but the other part didn't.

"Why else are you here?" I asked finally. He grinned at me.

"What? A father can't drop by and see his daughter working?" He asked, putting his hands out, palms out. I breathed slowly.

"..father." I said slowly, trying not to overreact.

"Yes.." He replied, and then leaned forward slightly. "Actually sweetheart, I'm not just here to see your job, I'm uh….enforcing that you're not spilling out your secrets."

"I'm not an idiot." I replied, my voice dripping ice.

"No your not, but…." The Joker pulled out his knife and threw it from side to side. "You wouldn't want my hand to uh slip when walking out and maybe hit Blondie or camera boy, or even your lovely stripper mother." My stomach clenched and I looked at him, pain clouding my eyes. He knew so much about my life, and he could take it away with a flick of his knife. He walked forward, and though I knew he wasn't going to kill me (yet), I had to force myself to breathe.

"Just some fatherly advice sweetheart." He whispered in my ear. "Friends bring you down, there uh weapons themselves._ Caring_….it'll kill you." I closed my eyes desperately and when I opened them, my office was empty.

William found me a few hours later, starring, white faced at my computer screen, drumming my fingers tiredly. He promptly dragged me into the nearest café, and bought me a huge cup of coffee, which I accepted graciously. He didn't ask any questions about why I was so tired, and my hands were shaking, he just sat there and talked. I listened to his pleasant drabble, my eyes focused on his face. He was so ready, so happy, and so content. It astounded me that someone could be so sure of themselves, not always being scared that they may slip and fall. He grinned at me, obviously uncomfortable with my staring.

"You okay Jules?" He asked, taking a bite out of a Boston donut.

"Yeah," I said, shaking my head, my curls bouncing. "Just tired." He nodded, and I saw something in his eyes, like he knew how I was feeling.

"Well, I see from how you totally demolished that cup of coffee that you know, a cup of good old caffeine truly is the best medicine." I smiled. William wasn't what he looked like.

"I needed this really badly." I said gesturing to the empty cup. He nodded and started talking to me about the coffee bean production in South America, while I nodded my head at the right times. I was just drifting off into my thoughts when he started waving his hand in front of my face.

"Hey Jules? Earth to Jules?" He laughed, putting his hand on my shoulder. I instantly pushed it off, roughly, and he starred at me. I shook my head, confused. Why had I done that? I smiled at him encouragingly.

"Sorry," I said. "You startled me, I was just….thinking." William nodded and looked at me nervously, opening his mouth and closing it like a gaping fish. I starred down at my empty coffee mug, looking at the weird shapes the painted lines made. Finally he spoke.

"Uh, Jules can I ask you a question?" I bit back the urge to scold him for calling me Jules and looked up, into his baby blue eyes. He grinned at me, and his lanky arms placed themselves on the table.

"You've heard of Vicki Vale right?" I nodded. She was one of those big time reporters in the business, I'd never met her, but I'd heard plenty.

"Yeah, well she owed me when I got that great photo of Batman and gave it to her free of charge for her article. She was going to take me to Gotham times 100th anniversary party, but she's got a boyfriend now and can't. But, she gave me my ticket and an extra one for whomever. Would you wanna come?" I stared at him, mildly surprised. I'd heard about the party, but I wasn't invited, obviously because I wasn't big enough in the business. This party was going to be huge, full of big time celebrities and business tycoons. William saw my raised eyebrows.

"As friends?" He said quickly, and I smiled slightly. I really needed to get out more; maybe I'd be less stressed.

"Sure." I replied, giving him a tiny smile. His eyes lit up and he grinned at me, while I suppressed a small giggle at his foolishness. He was like a little kid really, smiling everything away, talking his head off. Sure it was irritating, but it was also nice, in a weird way. What was odd though is that he was so different from when I first met him. He was changing, kind of like me. We headed out of the coffee shop, William almost bouncing down the steps, and I rolled my eyes at him, while he gave me a toothy grin, and slowed to walk beside me.

I entered my apartment that evening slightly apprehensive. I saw all the locks had been neatly cut off, and I smirked. If the Joker thought that was how much damage I could cause, he was so very wrong. I looked around my apartment for anything else, and found nothing. It was the fact that there was nothing which scared me the most. It meant that soon, something big would happen. I flicked open my knife, and played with it, throwing it from side to side, twirling it in the air. I really wasn't bad with it, I could definitely defend myself, not against the Joker, or Batman, but I could definitely handle myself against a cop…..hmm……

I dropped the knife to the ground and stepped away, horrified. I couldn't do that, I couldn't attack Anna Ramirez like that…..could I? I bent down and picked up the knife, fingering the blade in my hand. There was no way she'd tell me unless I had some leverage, and it wasn't like I'd hurt her or anything. No, I'd just scare her a bit, get her to talk, and leave her alone. I sat down and crossed my legs. I ran the knife lightly along my pant leg, my dark thoughts taking over. It'd be so easy, and for a good cause. Batman did that kind of stuff, not with knives but with fists…there's nothing wrong with it. I shut the knife, and stood. I had to do it, and I would. Just not now…..

**

* * *

Gordon**

I stood on the rooftop of the Police department, starring down at the streets of Gotham. We didn't use the bat light anymore, but I'd gotten into the habit of spending time up here. It was a perfect place to think, to figure out everything. I sighed heavily and ran my fingers through my hair. Everything seemed to be getting worse and worse. The city was filling itself to the brim with whacko's in the Joker's wake, and I didn't even have the one man who I could actually do something about it. I heard a rustle of cloak and turned quickly, not believing my ears. The Dark Knight stood, hidden by the shadows, his position defensive, ready to run if I called in reinforcements. But I didn't. I glared at the Batman, putting all my anger on him.

"Happy now?" I hissed. "By protecting Dent's dignity, the city's turning into a maniac's playground, and he's attracting new friends. Or do you forget the crazy mind puzzle man in spandex we pulled in last night? Or the red headed eco-terrorist a week ago?" Batman starred at me from the shadows.

"For things to get better, they have to get worse." He said in his gravely voice.

"This isn't the flu we're fighting!" I yelled, my voice rising. "How are we supposed to fight this and take you down at the same time?"

"Do you know what would happen if we said I was innocent?" Growled Batman. "People would be shattered by the fact that their white knight, Harvey Dent could fall that far. This city's moral is already bad enough without that." I sighed tiredly. The Bat was right.

"What are you here for then?" I asked him tiredly, running my hands through my brown hair.

"I have some questions." Growled Batman. "About the girl, Julia Samuels." My eyes widened in surprise.

"Really? Well, she's still alive, but she's refused police protection and won't tell us anything." I stated stonily

"I already know that." Growled Batman, his tone a little disgruntled. "You knew her before she was kidnapped. What was she like before?"

"Well, I found her strange the day I met her at Arkham. The girl was inquisitive, temperamental, and her mood swings were pretty strange." I said quietly, thinking back to the girl, to Arkham.

"Does she remind you of someone?" Batman growled questionably.

"Yes." I answered, surprised. Maybe I hadn't seen her before; I'd seen someone else that looks like her. "Yes she does, but I can't place it." Batman nodded. "And after the kidnapping, she was even weirder. She spent all her time drawing on the wall, and she couldn't sit still. What was even more interesting was how different her eyes looked, like holes, like she'd lost someone. She looked pained, like she was in mourning. But then, she has these drastic mood swings, where she'd be angry at first, then grinning at me happily. The girl is really unstable, but she tested fine on all the tests the doctors gave her." I was lost in my thoughts and looked off the rooftop, down into the poorly lit streets, shivering a little. "Whoever she reminds me of," I said quietly. "Isn't someone good." I looked back towards where Batman stood, but he was gone, just as quietly as he had come.

* * *

**Well, there's a ton of stuff in that chapter that's going to happen in the next few. If your a Batman fan other then the Nolan movies, you'll have recognized the name Vicki Vale, and the hint when Gordon was talking to Batman at the lovely but deadly Poison Ivy (a personal favorite). And even if you've only see the Nolan Batman movies, if you didn't recognize my hint at the Riddler in Gordon's confrontation to Batman, I know you have never googled the next batman movie before. Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please read and review, they get me motivated!!**


	12. Chapter 12 Purple and Green

**Hi everyone. This chapter irked me to no ends. bleah. Thanks a ton for all the reviews and welcome to the people who have just started reading this story! This chapter is pretty dark, it shows a bit of what Julia was like as a child. Please read and review.**

_**Disclaimer: .........same as before.........**_

* * *

**Julia**

As the days went on, I began to realize the funny looks I was receiving. Whenever Marissa talked to me, she always tried to avoid my eyes, and whenever she happened to glance into them, she'd shiver and look away. Marissa acted normal around me, except when she looked into my eyes. It wasn't just her. When I spoke to Ms. Jones and we made eye-contact, she stiffened, and looked down. Even people I didn't even know, like the grocer a few doors down from my house, would look uncomfortable when he looked at my eyes.

The only person who seemed immune to this new behavior was William. He was always looking me straight in the face, grinning happily. It was really unsettling that he acted so differently then others. One day after Marissa actually recoiled from me when she looked at my eyes; I went into my bathroom and took a good look at myself. I never usually gave my face much time, especially since the Joker. I knew how much I looked like him. But when I raised my head and looked at my reflection, I was caught completely off guard. My face was the same, much thinner then usual, but my eyes frightened me.

They were darker, I swear they had changed colour. They didn't look brown anymore, they looked almost…..black. They were like deep holes, with a small tint of brown. They weren't my eyes, they were his. This was why people never looked at me in the face anymore. My eyes reminded them so much of something in their worst nightmare, a monster so horrible that they spent every waking day living in the shadow of his knife, wondering if they'd be next. I opened my drawers and rummaged through, trying to find something to change the way my eyes looked.

I grabbed mascara and desperate added it to my eyelashes, then leaned closer. They looked even worse now, like they really were surrounded by angrily applied black makeup. I pounded the wall in frustration. What was wrong with me? I glared at the mirror, and saw my eyes darken even more. It was all his fault. People were scared to look at me in the eye, because of him. I marched out of the room, and flung myself onto the couch. It wasn't like I could make him pay or anything; I'd not only endanger my life, but others. The idea came in a flash of creativity and I grinned at the ceiling. If the Joker was going to come into my apartment on a regular basis, I might as well show him what I really feel.

* * *

**Joker**

I swung open the door of the girls apartment, grinning manically.

"Huulllloooo!!!" I sang, waltzing into the room. I flicked on the lights, slamming the door behind me. There, hanging from a noose was a stuffed dummy, wearing purple and green clothes. As it swung, I saw the red smile painted on its face and bent over laughing. Oh god, this girl was a piece of work. I pulled off the piece of paper stuck to the clown dummy's chest, and let loose another couple of cackles at what it said. _If thoughts could kill, you'd already be dead._ I crinkled up the paper, tossing it lightly to the ground and made my way around the swinging dummy to almost step on the mouse traps covering the floor in front of me. She was surprising, sure, but also very refreshing.

I cleared a path of mouse traps and my way to the bedroom, where I could see the girl, fast asleep. She hadn't woken up when I'd come in. She definitely didn't get that from me. I giggled and walked towards the sleeping girl. She didn't look nearly as lethal when asleep, she looked….boring. I watched her toss and turn, amused. I turned around and went over to her closet, where the door stood ajar. I peeked in and grinned gleefully. Maybe the girl was more like me then I thought. Almost all of her clothes had some shade of purple or green on them, even if it was just a little stripe.

I dug farther into the tiny closet and found a couple of boxes, stacked neatly. One of them was already opened, and I peeked in excitedly. The box was full of black journals, different sizes and shapes. I snatched one of the older ones, and opened it. From the writing and pictures littering the pages, it looked like the girl hadn't been older then seven when she'd written this. The pictures were….interesting. A few of them had pictures of evil looking men with red crayon scribbled all over them, and I assumed they were her mothers many boyfriends. Some of the other pictures were equally colorful and it surprised me, the twisted imagination of the girl. It looked like this was where she spilled out all the lovely thoughts she was having, the ones that she didn't want others to see. The lines were jagged and the pictures changed quickly, she seemed to be thinking about more then one thing at a time.

I flipped through, giggling quietly at the furious writings of an eight year old. Suddenly, the pictures stopped being so graphic. Now there was a little child, most likely the girl, and a man with her. The man changed every picture, from being blonde haired to brown haired, from being tall to short. Sometimes a woman, most likely her mom, joined the picture, but usually it was just the child and the man. I glanced down at the captions, my knee bouncing, humming a made up tune.

_Daddy and I go and get ice creem_. Said one. _Daddy tucks me in at nite._ I flicked the pages rapidly looked through all the pictures, my laughter mounting at the girls imagination, at her dreams. I dropped this book to the floor and opened another one, and flicked through it, and another, stifling my laughs. Then I saw it. _Daddy smiling_, and burst out laughing. I heard the girl roll over in her sleep, I don't think an earthquake could have woken her.

I ripped it out of the book and stuffed it in my pocket then turned to the next box. This one had more recent journals, with new characters in it. Batman became the obsession of the pages, and my nails made indents in the book. I swiftly turned the pages and saw _me_. Most of the time, I was dead, but sometimes I was being blown up, with my bits and pieces flying everywhere. This was the best book I'd ever read! I turned to blank pages, the book was unfinished. It looked like the girl hadn't written in it for a few months. I went to grab another journal, but I heard stirring behind me.

I quickly shut all the boxes and placed them inside. The girl didn't need to know how I got my information. I walked swiftly over to her bed and starred down. The girl was so hopeful, so wishing for her fairytale life, it was pathetic. Didn't she know what kind of world it was? I glared down at the girl. No, she needed to know that I wasn't going to let her keep her life forever…no. It wasn't all fun and games…. At least for her. I smiled happily. It was about time I showed her, my _flesh and blood_ how easy it is to take a person apart. Suddenly, her eyes flashed open and she leapt out of the bed, knife clutched in hand, I grabbed her roughly and slammed her against the wall, while she starred at me, eyes still bleary from sleep.

"Hey there sleeping beauty." I hissed gleefully. She focused her eyes in on me and gave me a smirk.

"Did you like my present?" She whispered. I slammed her against the wall.

"Hmm, well to be honest, I found it to be a little…..annoying." I replied giving her a grin. She looked back at me, defiance on her face. How naive. It angered me.

"You see dear, it seems you uh think that I'm not a threat……**I am**." I flung the girl across the room, where she hit her head against the door. I heard her whimper, and I felt the adrenaline course through my veins. I cracked my neck and continued." I'm not going to kill you dear, well not yet, but…" I moved forward, skipping slightly and bent down beside her. "There are a lot things worse then death, things….that can break you." She looked up at me, her smirk gone, replaced by fear. She was shocked, and her face was white, drained of blood. I so wanted her to hurt, to cry. It excited me, gave me energy. I slammed her against the door, feeling her gasp of pain, then let go.

I stood, staring down at the crumpled girl, her face full of pain, horror. She was wondering, wanting to know, know what I'd do to make her life worse then death. I gave her a smile and flicked open my knife and left the room. I dragged the blade along the wall, leaving indents as I walked, leaving her to wallow in shock, in despair. I knew what I was going to do, it would be soooo easy. The girl wasn't going to be hard to completely snap in two, but it would be a hell of a ride to see how far she fell.

* * *

**Julia**

I lay there on the ground, cradling my arm with the broken fingers. I wasn't crying, but I was shaking. It had come out of nowhere the rage, the anger. He hadn't even taken out his blade, and I was sitting here, in shock. My head rang from being slammed against the door, and the rest of my body throbbed painfully. I moved my hands and shakily got up. That's when I noticed the rip in my pajamas, and my bloody knife laying by the bed. I peeled away the pajama pants and saw the cut, right along the side of my knee. It wasn't deep, but the pain was starting increase. I got up shakily on one leg and made my way towards the bathroom.

After I'd bandaged up my knee, I gently crawled back into my bed, shaking uncontrollably. I wanted someone to hold me, to tell me it was going to be okay. But who could I tell? I shuddered and pulled the blankets up to my neck, shaking uncontrollably. Even though I tried so hard to say it wasn't so, I missed my mother.

I missed the reassurance of her, when she'd come home after a long night, when she broke up with a boyfriend and would let me stay up late with her, eating cartons of ice-cream and watching sappy chick flicks. I remembered her infrequent hugs, the warmth they always brought. I missed it all. I wanted to call her, to tell her that I forgave her, to make her stop worrying. I couldn't deny it, almost every day I got a message from her. They were becoming more and more disturbing. She would break down halfway through the message or get really angry. She would plead, asking me to answer, to pick up. But I never did. I couldn't. I wasn't the Julia she knew, not anymore. I pulled my uninjured knee up to my chest, and hugged it furiously. Everything hurt so much….

The next day was thankfully a Saturday, and I had the day off work. I didn't fall asleep until around 4:00 in the morning, and woke at 11:00 when the phone was ringing off the hook. I stumbled out of bed, and gasped with pain. My entire body killed, and my knee was throbbing. I made my way towards the phone, avoiding the mousetraps and joker dummy, which had been ripped down and stabbed repeatedly. I and answered it, with a bleary "hello?" And let my eyes wander around the living room, taking in the caked blood on the walls forming the words HAHA. Where had he even gotten blood to do that? I shivered, and focused in on the high pitched voice on phone.

"…..Oh my god I can't believe it still Julia!!! You're going to like the biggest party of the year!!! I am sooo jealous!!" I grimaced, clueing in. Marissa. From the screaming I assumed she had heard about my invite from William to the Gotham Time's 200th anniversary party.

"…..have to get you a dress and you'll need your hair done…" Marissa babbled on, while I tried desperately to focus.

"Hey Julia, are you still there?" Marissa's voice became worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm really excited too!!" I replied, raising my voice to sound interested. It wasn't hard, I really was looking forward to it.

"Oh…good." Marissa giggled. "I'm going out with this new guy I met next weekend, and I need a dress….do you want to come and get one with me?"

"Yes." I answered quickly. I wanted to have something to distract my attention, and this was perfect.

"Okay, we'll go shopping this afternoon, around three." Squealed Marissa. I hung up the phone and limped into the bathroom, to see how bad the damage was. When I looked into the mirror, I was surprised and grateful. There were not any bruises to be seen on my face, except for a tiny one on my temple, which was already green. I could cover it with makeup. My head felt tender all around, so I knew that it had quite a few bruises, though they were hidden beneath my tangled mess of hair. I checked my wrists and saw that they were purple and sore again, having already been bruised from the Joker's office visit. My other bruises were on my knees and back, where I'd slammed myself into the wall and hit the floor. I hurriedly took some Advil to calm my aching head, and limped back into the living room to wipe the blood off the wall.

At three-o-clock, I looked refreshed and ready to go. I'd cleaned up the questionable blood on the walls, and gotten rid of the dummy. I'd applied makeup to my face and wrists, trying to conceal the bruises, and I'd re-bandaged my knee, which was healing nicely. This all was a lot harder because of my broken fingers, and I was looking forward to getting the cast off. I was just grabbing a bite to eat when I heard the loud rap of knuckles on my door, and I left to let Marissa in. She grinned at me gleefully when she entered, her cheeks flushed and blonde hair flying about.

"Let's go shopping!" She shrieked.

The afternoon passed by surprisingly quickly and I actually got into the shopping, though Marissa asked a lot of questions about my knee. She also saw a couple of bruises I hadn't totally covered. The reporter in her tried to weasel the information out of me, but she soon recognized defeat. I had an extremely difficult time finding a dress, choosing many different ones. I wasn't even sure what I wanted, but Marissa was a big help. She quickly found her own dress, black, and tried to get me to wear a similar one, which I flat out refused. I never wore completely black, I always had some sort of colour on me. Since I refused blatantly to wear black, Marissa brought me a ton of more colourful designs to wear. I was trying on what seemed like my billionth dress when I glanced in the mirror, and grinned. It was perfect. I showed Marissa and she smiled at me gleefully.

"Julia, that colour looks amazing on you!" She shrieked, and I swear the mirrors cracked. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror, looking myself up and down. The dress was a dark, silvery kind of green, which was a halter around my neck and flowed out at my knees. It looked perfect. I spotted a pair of almost black purple high heels and grinned gleefully. I actually was looking forward to the party. After we bought our dresses, Marissa and I headed back to her apartment, where we ordered in a pizza and stuffed our faces, watching one of Marissa's favorite soaps.

The day was just what I needed to get my mind off last night, and when I got back to my apartment, my spirits were high, and I was ready to sleep. I went and hung up the dress in the closet, then stared at my clothes tiredly. I'd realized the resemblance of colours to the Joker, but I didn't care. I liked those colours, they were different, surprising. The clown wasn't going to control my life. I could choose what I wanted…. I angrily flung myself onto the bed. Why couldn't I get him out of my head. He was infecting me, changing me, showing me what I was like, underneath. I pressed my face into the pillow, scrunching my eyes tight. A perfectly fine day, ruined by purple and green.

It turned out that I really wasn't tired, especially after I started thinking about the Joker, so I went and laid down on the couch, hoping the TV would wear me out. My eyes began to drift as the colours flashed across the screen, and I slowly fell asleep.

_I walked among the frightened people in the bank, their hands and feet bound together, eyes fixed on my every move. I starred back at them, shocked by their terrified faces. What were they scared of? I moved towards a young woman and she whimpered, pressing herself against the teller's desk to get away from me. Her action startled me, but also made me feel.... powerful. It felt good to be feared, to be looked at with terror. Warmth flooded through me and I glanced down at the gun, held neatly in my hands. Slightly confused, I looked around the bank, trying to figure out what was happening. When I turned around, I could see men with clown masks heaving bags of money into trucks, others tying up the remaining people. Wait, was this a bank heist? But, I wasn't tied up, I wasn't a hostage..... I moved towards the hostages and opened my mouth to ask what was happening, but nothing came out. _

_The hostages screamed as I came closer, and I saw one woman swoon as I neared. Two gun shots rang out among the screaming and I glanced down at my hand, the gun raised in front of the now dead woman in front of me, her blood slowly pooling over the large pieces of glass on the floor. I dropped the gun to the ground and looked at it, horrified. My eyes caught a flash of colour in the glass and I moved forward to take a look at my reflection. A painted white face, black holes for eyes, and two scars, pulling my lips into an evil smile. A face, so alike the Jokers grinned back at me. I was wearing completely purple, and my curly hair was dyed green. The scars, I fingered them tentively. They were there; I could feel them with my tongue. I tried to steady myself, tried to breathe. I had become my worst nightmare. _

_Behind my reflection in the pieces of glass, a face, the real face loomed behind me. The Joker swung me around and plunged a knife into my chest, dragging it along, creating a big J on my stomach. I screamed with pain, and my vision turned red, as he released me and I fell onto the ground. My crimson blood spilled out, and I tried to breathe, tried to stay alive. _

"_There are worse things then death." Came the Jokers voice through the static noise in my ears. I gurgled, tears and blood mixing together, the Jokers laugh ringing all around me._

I jolted awake, sweat pouring down my face, the Joker's laugh echoing. I'd had another dream, a new one. This time, he wasn't the one killing people, I was. I remembered their frightened faces, screaming for help. I remembered my face, his face, the same. I felt at my cheeks, searching for the scars that weren't there. Where was I heading, was this a warning, what I would become. I looked around the room shaking uncontrollably, the TV still casting an eerie glow. My eyes past over the window and that's when I saw it. A shadow crouched on the opposite building, the moonlight glow making the figure stand out. I rushed to the window, wincing when I banged my fingers against the wall. But the figure was gone. I peered into the knight, my heart pounding excitedly, looking for the figure, which had vanished so quickly. The figure in black, with a long black cape. Batman. I swear I'd seen him, watching from the rooftop, but why? What could make him want to keep tabs on me, her couldn't know....could he?

* * *

**So please review, I need reviews for this one, it frustrated me a ton, and I'd love some feedback. The whole dress thing was to shed a bit of light on Julia's life, I need to give the poor girl a break! I'll update as soon as I can!!!**


	13. Chapter 13 The Party

**HI! THIS PAST WEEK, NO ONE HAS UPDATED THEIR STORIES! EVERYONE WHO I HAVE ON MY STORY ALERT HASN'T UPDATED, WHICH IS A TON! AND, I LOVED THE REVIEWS I GOT FORM THE LAST CHAPTER, BUT THERE WAS A WHOLE LOT LESS THEN USUAL? WHATS GOING ON? IS THERE LIKE A HOLIDAY OR SOMETHING? NEXT WEEK, I MAY OR MAY NOT UPDATE, IT DEPENDS ON IF WHERE I'M GOING HAS INTERNET CONNECTIONS, BUT YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE DO WITH THIS CHAPTER! THANKS AGAIN TO THE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED AND THE ONES WHO ARE READING THIS STORY!**

**DISCLAIMER: SAME AS BEFORE....**

* * *

**Julia**

Another week passed, and I heard nothing from the Joker. It wasn't like he was not present in the city, there were quite a few bank robberies, a huge undermining of the mob, and a hostage situation and attempt to kill the mayor at town hall, but they were all done at night. It was obvious the Joker wasn't doing these things for himself; he was egging on the Batman. Every time, the Batman showed up, the Joker always escaped, gleeful, as the confused police forces got in the way trying to capture both of them. The Batman was being worked into the ground, as other criminals fought for his attentions, sometimes even teaming up with each other. The criminals were mostly all insane and deranged people, many of whom had it out for the caped crusader.

Gotham was frightened; villains were at every corner, as they fought to outdo one another. Arkham was filling to the brim, and were desperately calling in interns, who were being forced to take on big time cases on their first day. There just wasn't enough time. William and I were constantly at the scenes of the criminals, viewing the damage, speaking with frightened people. There weren't enough reporters and journalists to cover everything, so they were sending people like me to the crime scenes of crazed psychopaths like the newly escaped Riddler.

The only thing to keep Gotham's spirit high was the looming Gotham Times anniversary party. It was the talk of the city, from the notifications of what big wigs would be attending, to the dresses and scandals that would follow. But, the biggest news was…. which villain would crash it? Everyone in the city was expecting a huge party crash by a villain, it was inevitable.

The security on the Empress Hotel, where it was being held, was doubling by the minute, with security cameras, fingerprints, laser beams, and a whole platoon of officers. But what made me laugh, was the fact that by doing this, they were only making the whole thing more appetizing. Whichever villain tried to break into this place, would be the cream of the crop, the best villain around. It was the jewel of all capers, and I had a horrible idea of who would attempt this Everest of crime.

* * *

Finally, the time came, December 20th, just five days till Christmas. The station closed early and I quickly denied Marissa's wish to do my hair with a straight no. I got home and hurried towards the shower, wishing this night would be okay, wishing everything would work out. Would Batman be there to watch over the party? With all those fancy gadgets of his, he had to have at least a couple million dollars, and would definitely be invited to the party. Hopefully that would be enough.

I got out of the shower, shivering slightly. My hot water had broken down again. When toweling off my hair, I grinned at my reflection. Thanks to the no show from the Joker, my bruises were pretty much gone, and would be easy to cover. I'd also finally gotten that cast off my hand, my fingers were mended.

I slipped the dress over my head and glanced outside. Snow was just beginning to fall, looking eerie in the street lights. My wild hair was curled into lovely tresses, and I'd used pretty much a whole can of hairspray to keep it in place. I carefully applied the finishing touches to my makeup and grinned at my reflection. I looked pretty good, though my face looked as gaunt as ever, and my eyes remained dark. The colors of my dress were dark enough not to look too familiar, they looked like me. I heard the knock on the door and walked steadily towards it. So far, so good.

As the taxi drove into the more successful part of Gotham, I started to relax. Everything looked so magical, so beautiful in the glow of Christmas lights. William gave me a bright smile, looking nice in his black tux and red tie.

"Excited?" He asked.

"Nervous." I replied brusquely. "I have a feeling something's going to go wrong tonight." He shook his head at me.

"Can't you just relax?" He laughed at me, and I winced. "Your going to the biggest party of the year, it's going to be a ton of fun!" I snorted.

"Yes, and with my luck, I'll doing something embarrassing and mess it all up." William chuckled happily and I smiled in spite of myself. We passed limos and the taxi pulled against the curb of the Hotel. I could see the camera's flashing at the people in the limos as they got out. William climbed out of the car and offered his hand to me, which I ignored, getting out myself. He paid the taxi driver, looking a little forlorn. I gave him a smile when he returned to my side, and he lit up like a Christmas tree, making me gloat on the inside. He really was putty in my hands. I let him take my arm and lead me inside the hotel.

The place was beautiful inside, with marble floors and expensive pictures on the walls. William took my coat and we ascended the stairs to the ballroom, both of us feeling out of place in the splendor. The ballroom was gold colored, with an impressive chandelier in the center of the ceiling, its crystals glittering in the light.

The room was full of large windows, which took in the sights of Gotham, lit up beautifully. Right by the windows was a large stage, with a podium and pillars lining the sides of it. I clutched onto Williams arm as we walked inside, my nerves escalating. I noticed quite a few of the people from the magazines and newspapers. This place was chalk full of Gotham's elite. William led me towards a young woman with blonde standing with a brown haired man. I recognized the woman's face. Vicki Vale. She smiled when we approached.

"Hey Ms. Vale." Chirped William enthusiastically. She smiled dazzlingly at him, looking beautiful. My stomach clenched uncomfortably.

"Hello William." She replied smoothly, and introduced her husband who smiled and shook hands with William and me. I didn't catch his name, I was too busy looking at Ms. Vale and William, my hands clenching and unclenching. It wasn't like I liked William or anything, but it bothered me to see him smile at _her_. He was only supposed to smile like that at me. I hated that woman, I wanted to see her perfect face turn a satisfying blue, her blonde hair be stained by her own blood.

"This is Julia." Said William and I snapped out of my thoughts to give Vale and her husband a smile.

"Thanks for the invitations." I said as warmly as I could. She shook her head at me.

"Oh no problem at all, it was my pleasure." She said warmly. I nodded and pulled on Williams arm, seeing Ms. Jones a few yards away. Perfect.

"We should go say hello Ms. Jones right William?" I said imploringly and William albeit confused, smiled and said a hurried goodbye to Vicki Vale before being pulled by his arm towards Ms Jones.

After William and I spoke to everyone we knew, we walked around the spacious room, looking out the windows and looking for famous people. William pointed out a couple of TV actors, and we both exchanged jokes to the interesting attire they chose.

"There's Bruce Wayne." Said William pointing towards the attractive man. He was smiling and talking to some men in suits, a woman in a very revealing dress on his arm.

"Looks like being such a social butterfly has some downfalls." I commented, seeing the heavy bags under his eyes. The guy looked like he hadn't slept for days. Suddenly, Vicki Vale came up beside William, without her boyfriend. She smiled at both of us.

"Enjoying the party?" She asked cheerfully, looking at William. He nodded and I flashed her a glare. Oh if looks could kill….

"Good evening Miss Vale." Came a smooth male voice. I looked up at the familiar voice. Bruce Wayne. He smiled Vicki Vale brightly, but then glanced at me and froze. For a second his face displayed billions of emotions, surprise, confusion, realization, worry, and then his mask was back in place.

"Hello Julia." He said politely, flashing me a smile. "Feeling better?" I nodded cautiously, remembering our last meeting. His eyes traveled to my arm, where the scar lay, then down to my knee where the cut from my knife was healing. His eyes raked over the light bruises on my wrists, almost invisible. He raised an eyebrow at me and opened his mouth, but was interrupted by William introducing himself and Vicki flashing him a smile. He shook William's hand, then turned and walked away with Vicki to talk in private.

I watched his retreating back with interest. He looked paler then before, and very tired. And what was with his reaction to me? I shook my head and turned my attention to William who was looking worriedly at me.

"Attention everyone." Came a voice over the speakers. I turned towards the stage near the end and watched as a large man with a bushy mustache ascended the stairs. I recognized him at once as the head of Gotham Times, Anthony Hamilton. He smiled at everyone and spread his arms wide, wine glass in one hand.

"I would just like to welcome everyone to Gotham Times 200th anniversary." There was a light rumble of applause. "In these dark times, this company has spread the news all over Gotham. One that note, I wish for you to raise your glasses to honor our reporters and journalists who have made this so successful over the years." There was a loud crackling noise and a bang of a gun could be heard. Woman screamed in the audience and William grabbed at my arm, pulling me close. The speakers crackled, the ballroom went quiet. Then, laughter was heard, mad maniacal giggles echoed off the walls.

"You know….. I think you all plan these little ….get-togethers just ...... so I can come." The Jokers voice blasted out of the speakers. I shivered violently, and William tightened his grip. Maybe he'd just stay on the speakers; maybe he wasn't in the building. Men in masks burst in from all sides, carrying guns, and the screaming increased.

The crackling from the speaker stopped, and everyone became quiet, waiting. Suddenly, there was a yelp from the stage and the Joker mounted the steps, a bodyguard falling to the ground behind him. His goons grabbed at the mustached man, and he grabbed the mike, turning his attention to the audience. I tried to sink into the background, could he see me from here? I wished I was at the back…..

"Well ladies and gentleman, before old walrus here uh, bores you to death with his…." The Joker raised both hands and made air quotes. "'Progress' speeches, I'll give you my little schpeel." His eyes darted over the audience, and I looked with him, where Vicki Vale stood alone. Where was Bruce Wayne?

"Now, ladies and gentleman, I would just like to point out that each and every one of you uh bigwigs, put themselves in this little….._predicament_." He grinned at the audience. "Oh yes. You all um…. Throw a huge party, then toughen it up with high security and you think… no one is going to do anything now?" He laughed at the shocked upper class of Gotham, standing in their half a million clothes. "You made, this party the biggest game in town."

He spread his arms wide and looked from side to side, his green hair flying about. "But… I don't see whaaaat the fuss is about. You're all, so ….._serious_. There isn't any entertainment at all, why half of you look almost dead already." He laughed hoarsely, slapping his knee, flicking open his knife.

"Now, I know you're all….._dying_ for some entertainment…. And I'm not one to disappoint my guests. I say we have," The Joker shook out his wrist and glanced at it, though there was no watch there. "Oh about, five, maybe ten minutes before Bat-Boy shows up and the party really gets going." He hopped off the stage and the crowd immediately backed away from him.

"Now…. Who would like to play a game while we wait?" The crowd was silent, everyone holding their breath. The Joker wandered about, the microphone still clipped to his coat. He suddenly signaled to one of his men, and grabbed a redheaded woman in a slinky black dress, pressing the knife to her white neck. "Hey sweetie." He hissed, his voiced blaring through the speakers. "Don't worry, I don't bite, I'm more of a carve-a-smile-on-your-face kind of guy."

"Leave her alone!" A male voice cried. The Joker raised an eyebrow and a clown goon came forwards.

"Let's see how much your boyfriend cares about you, hmm?" The clown goon dragged the thin faced blonde man who had spoke behind the Joker as he pulled the red-head by the arm, knife still at her neck. They headed up the stairs and back onto the platform. The Joker watched calmly, stroking the redhead's hair, as the goon shoved the man into the middle of the stage.

"Hey Junior." Said the Joker cheerfully. "You have a beautiful girl here." The thin faced man glared at the Joker, quivering from head to toe.

"If y-you hurt one ha-hair on her head I'll—"

"Do what?" The Joker interrupted. "Stutter at me?" He grinned maliciously, the skin of his scars stretching taunt. My arm was going numb from Williams grip. I shook it off, and inched away from him, ignoring his intake of breath. I had to do something, I couldn't just stand here?

_What would Batman do?_

_He'd fight._

I worked my way through the crowd, careful to stay out of sight. Meanwhile the Joker was taunting the man.

"So let me get this straight Junior, your willing to die for this girl?" The man nodded his head bravely, and stared at the woman, who looked like she was about to pass out.

"Yes, I love her." The Joker rolled his eyes.

"Oh….I'm sure you do, Junior. But uh, is love enough…" he pulled out a revolver form his pocket, knife still against the red-heads neck "when the gun is pointed at you?" The man, paled instantly. "Hmm, I thought not." Answered the Joker, and he pressed the gun against the red headed woman's temple.

"Kill me instead!" Yelped the man, his eyes wide and rolling. I walked up behind one of the men guarding the stage and slugged him over the head. He collapsed instantly, without a sound. My own head began to pound as the people around me tittered. I shot glares at them motioning to stop, and they finally understood. I glanced back up at the stage, as I crouch behind one of the pillars. The Joker cocked his head at the man, and then pulled off the safety on the gun.

"Alright then Junior. I'm going to get you to make a decision. Her life…. or yours?" He motioned with the gun towards the woman beside him, licking his scarred lips. The man starred at the Joker.

"Y-you wouldn't…" The Joker flung the gun around and shot the man just to the left of me. I heard his gasp and gurgles as he fell to the ground and the screaming initiated, but was silenced but another shot into the audience, this time hitting an elderly woman. The Joker cracked his neck, and looked back at the man, who was as white as a ghost, while his girlfriend began to shake uncontrollably.

"You, uh were saying?" He drawled, raising an eyebrow questionably. The man said nothing, just stared at the Joker, who began to tap his foot. He let go of the woman, a goon coming up to grab her, and made his way towards the man. He pressed the knife against his throat, and put the gun to the mans temple.

"Okay then Junior, how are you feeling now? Do you still want to die for your….beloved?" The man stared at his girlfriend, unable to take his eyes off her. The Joker grabbed at the man with the knife still in his hand, nicking him as he held onto the man's jaw. The Joker forced the man to look at him, his black eyes boring into the man.

"You have a choice Junior." He whispered. "Is love enough to die for her?" The man looked petrified, and he lowered his head, defiance and resilience fading from his eyes.

"No." He whispered, so quietly that only the Joker and the few people nearest to the stage could hear him. The Joker put his hand to his ear.

"What's that?" He mocked.

"No." Said the man, louder, tears ebbing at the corners of his eyes.

"Who do you want me to kill?" Asked the Joker. The man looked toward his girlfriend, who was watching with utter horror on her face. The Joker sauntered behind the man and put the gun in his hand, safety trigger off. He placed the blade at the mans throat and kept the mans hand on the gun.

"Alright Junior." He replied. "You asked for it." Time seemed to slow itself down as the Joker gently pressed on the mans thumb. There wasn't a sound as the trigger was pulled, then the silence was pierced by the crack of the gun. A scream echoed through the ballroom when the red-headed woman realized, as the bullet hit her head that even love wasn't strong enough to protect her, that even love wasn't incorruptible.

* * *

**OKAY JUST TO TELL YOU, I DO NOT NECESSARILY BELIEVE IN THAT LAST STATEMENT, THAT IS WAYYY TOO DEPRESSING FOR ME..... THIS CHAPTER WAS GOING TO BE PART OF THE NEXT ONE, BUT THEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE 8, 000 WORDS AND I'M PRETTY SURE A LOT OF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THAT MUCH IN ONE CHAPTER. HOPEFULLY I'LL UPDATE NEXT WEEK, BUT IF NOT..... READ AND REVIEW PLEASE, BEFORE I THINK THERE IS A CONSPIRACY AFOOT!**

* * *


	14. Chapter 14 The Dark Knight

**HEY! I AM BACK AND READY TO UPDATE! **

**JUST SO YOU KNOW I AM A HUGE HISTORY BUFF AND I WANTED A GAS FOR THE JOKER TO USE SINCE I DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE HIS SMILE GAS STUFF YET. HENCE, I CAME UP WITH CHLORINE GAS, SOMETHING WHICH WAS USED BY THE GERMANS IN WW1. THEY WOULD SEND IT OVER THE TRENCHES, TOWARDS THE ALLIES AND IT WOULD BLOAT THEIR LUNGS, MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE TO BREATHE. AT FIRST, THE ALLIES URINATED ON RAGS AND PUT IT OVER THEIR MOUTHS TO KEEP THE GAS AWAY UNTIL THEY GOT MASKS. I DECIDED NOT TO USE URINE RAGS, INSTEAD I USED A DIFFERENT LIQUID, WHICH YOU WILL SEE WHEN YOU READ ON.**

**ALRIGHT ENOUGH WITH THE HISTORY LESSON! THIS STORY IRKED ME TO KNOW ENDS AND I WOULD LOVE SOME FEEDBACK!!!**

* * *

The woman tumbled to the ground, crimson blood seeping into her hair. The instant she hit the floor, the ballroom erupted with screams, which I ignored. I simply stood behind the pillars and watched as the man stood there, his face full of utter despair. The Joker grinned.

"Love….. isn't enough is it? In the end, were all uh cowards, just looking out for ourselves." At this point I picked up the hunting knife that the man I'd knocked out had been carrying. I slipped of my heels and rushed across the stage, knife above my head, mind whirling. I had to save the man. The Joker swiveled around, slicing the man's neck as he went, so he fell gurgling to the ground. The Joker ducked my crazed jab with the knife, and grabbed at my wrist, shoving his gun into his pocket. He pressed the blade against my throat, his eyes showing mild surprise.

"Well, look who it is, Cinderella to save the day. This is…..kind of like déjà vu hmm?" He hissed, his voice coming through the speakers. The audience tittered, and I heard William yelling, but he was quickly silenced by the loud crash through the windows, as the Dark Knight came tumbling onto the stage, hitting the Joker full on. I cried out as the heavy armor hit my side and fell to the ground, rolling away from the brawling now resuming. The entire ball room erupted as the clown goons opened fire on the party guests. I crawled behind the podium, my heart thumping. I peered around and watched as the Joker, crawled away from the Batman and pulled out a switch from his pocket, flicking it. Balloons began to fall from the chandelier, purple and green.

I watched their decent, my confusion mounting, then clued in when I saw the goons putting on masks. Trying not to panic, I raced across the room, grabbing the hunting knife off the stage and jumped down, trying to get to the doors and windows. The goons were resilient, and were stopping the guests from leaving by the gun shots. I jumped onto one of the goons, them being so large and hugged on his neck, as he suffocated and the others tried to get me off him.

The balloons were beginning to pop and the gas was beginning to spread. It was oddly green and heavy, easy to see in the air. My heart pounded and I kicked one of the goons in face, hearing the pleasurable crack as his nose broke. The goon who I was clinging onto by the neck sank to his knees and collapsed. I fell with him. I grabbed his gun and faced the goons. They all starred at me frightfully and I glared at them. I had to get these people out of here, I had to help Batman. I handed the gun to a man in a black tux.

"You know how to work this?" I yelled. He nodded, face white and I turned to the goons.

"MOVE!" I shouted at them. They shook their heads and one of them cocked their gun at me. They seemed to think that we wouldn't dare shoot them. They were right. The gas was quickly filling the room, soon it would be lethal. Suddenly, the one of the men fell to the ground as a platter hit his head. William stood there, looking wild, his eyes fixed on me. I lunged at the other man, and he fell to the side, letting the doors free. I heard the people flee out, and heard the other goons across the ballroom start shooting.

I took off, William's voice fading away, back towards the stage. Batman was fighting three goons and the Joker, and I could see he was tiring. I saw other goons making their way towards me and I raced inside a pair of swinging doors, into the kitchen. The room was empty, except for the dead bodies of some cooks lying on the floor. Trying not to vomit, I crawled in between two cupboards and huddled, my heart pounding, sweat pouring down my face. The swinging doors clanged out again and I heard footsteps as they slid something into the handles to block the door. I gasped at the noise and the footsteps faltered, and then made their way towards me, I peered out from my corner, waiting till they came round the bend, but then I felt the cold blade on the back of my neck and froze.

"Don't move sweetheart." Hissed the Joker in my ear. He crawled around and sat beside me, blade against my throat. I watched him cautiously. It wasn't like the Joker to hide from the Batman, what was he doing? I heard the loud thumps and then crash as the Batman burst through the doors. I heard him breathing heavily as he crashed through the kitchen.

"Well, well sweetheart…. You sure you're not stalking me?" He shifted his weight, knife still against my throat. I glared at him, hearing the commotion as Batman moved through the kitchen, tearing the place apart.

_He's stalling,_ I thought. _But for what?_

"Not very subtle today is he?" Whispered the Joker conversationally.

"What did you do to make him so mad?" I asked softly. The Joker raised his eyebrows.

"Bats really uh…. Holds a grudge. You think that if you killed a man's….. girl he'd eventually get over it but noooo." I glared at him.

"Go to hell." I hissed.

"Already there." He replied smoothly. "Those colours look good on you sweetheart." His eyes fixed on my face, tongue licking his scarred lips feverishly. "And I saw what you did to my goons….very nice, boring, but nice." I shrugged, trying not to get nicked by the knife.

"It's in my blood, not matter how hard I try to drain it out." I hissed back. The Joker couldn't help himself, he let out a hoot of laughter and I rolled to the side, as Batman came crashing down upon us. To my surprise, I felt the black gloved hand curl around my neck, and I gagged.

"W---what are…you….doing?" I gasped, trying to breathe. The Batman pinned me against the wall opposite our hiding place, with the Joker beside me. I watched as his eyes flickered back and forth, eyes wide underneath his cowl. My face fell, and the Joker laughed.

"Oh, you figured it out Bats….finally. Yep, I have an addition to the Joker brood…..well uh since I don't have a brood, she's more like uh…." Batman lifted the Joker off the ground by his neck and slammed him against the wall hard. Then he turned his cold blue eyes towards me, and I shook all over.

"Please." I whispered. "Please, let me go. I haven't done anything wrong. I was trying to help you!"

"You're his daughter." Growled Batman. "You're the last person I would trust."

"I should be the first." I replied, thankful that his grip was loosening. "Since I have a reason to hate him even more then you do." I fought to contain the giggles that were mounting inside me. I didn't know why I was laughing; it would only make things worse. Meanwhile, the Joker wasn't holding back anything; his whole body was shaking uncontrollably. I saw the blade before Batman did and made a squeak of protest as the Joker drove the knife into Batman's side. The Dark Knight groaned and loosened his grip, just enough for the Joker to shove him to the ground and put the knife, glistening with blood, to my neck.

"Hope you don't have AIDS or anything Batman." Cackled the Joker as he backed away slowly, knife still to my neck. The Batman stood, leaning on the kitchen counter, breathing heavily. I could see the red beginning to seep through. The Joker had stabbed him right between the plates of his armor, and it looked like it had opened a recent scar.

"Now Batman," continued the Joker. "Why are you chasing after……me? While you've been wasting your time, the lovely guests of the party are leaving the ballroom…. Thinking they've escaped…..but…..wrong." I gasped and the Joker began to pat my head, his foot tapping with anticipation. "The room they've just entered is filled to the brim with… chlorine gas." He laughed manically, backing slowly towards the door. "It's a lovely little substance which chokes you to death, and uh cheap to make too. Who said history doesn't teach you anything?" He laughed manically then cracked his neck, and licked his lips feverishly. "You have a choice Bats. Me… or the snobs of Gotham? They only have a few more seconds until you can't stop the gas." The Joker shoved me towards the ground then disappeared through the exit doors.

The Batman stood, and after hesitating for a millo-second he pulled some sort of needle out of his belt and stabbed it into his arm. I watched, realizing that it must be for the chlorine gas. He then ran out the main kitchen doors, back into the ballroom, ignoring me lying on the floor. I tried to fight back tears and stood up shakily, my cut on my knee re-opening.

I raced out of the kitchen after Batman and saw him breaking the doors to the hallway apart, as the clown goons had jammed them shut. The gas in the room made me cough and I held a hand over my mouth as I made my way across the room. The Batman glanced at me as he threw open the hallway doors, but continued. I ran towards the end of the ballroom, ignoring the jarring pains running up and down my leg. I grabbed a candlestick on the mantle piece and began to hit the panes of glass with it. I hit a pane of glass and stuck out my head, out avoiding the glass to breathe in the fresh air.

I continued to smash at the glass, until all the lower windows were broken and the gas was slowly ebbing out. Then, I ran back into the kitchen and took the opposite exit stairs down, heading outside. When I opened the door, I was faced with the blaring headlights of police trucks and ambulances and guns turned my way.

"Don't shoot!" I cried. "I'm one of the hostages!" Commissioner Gordon came forwards, his glasses glinting in the lights, his hair ruffled.

"What's going on Julia?" He asked as the SWAT team began to ascend the stairs. I followed him over to one of the ambulances where they bound my knee, gave me shoes and a blanket. I told him everything, trying to keep calm. Gordon started speaking to some officers when I was finished, but I didn't listen. There was a sort of chant going on inside of me.

_Batman knows, Batman knows, Batman knows_….. No matter how I put it, it still sounded the same, utter and complete disaster. It felt like my throat was closing up, like I wasn't able to breathe. If Batman knew, it wasn't long until someone else figured it out. I'd tried to kill the Joker in front of the richest and most successful people in Gotham, I'd put myself on the map. I saw Gordon watching me and I closed my eyes, trying to make everything disappear. If people knew about this….. I'd be taken to see a doctor, I would most likely loose my job and know matter what I said, I'd be closely monitored by the police. It wouldn't matter what I said, people are scared of things they don't understand and become irrational because of it.

I'd be a target of all the crazed criminals out there, a hope that I was the Jokers weakness….. I wasn't. I'd be killed by some psychopath eventually, and the Joker wouldn't even flinch, well he might be upset he lost his source of entertainment, but that would be fleeting. Everyone would look at me differently and what about my mother? I had tried to tell myself that I didn't care about her, but I did. She had never been completely sane, but from the disturbing messages on my machine, she was loosing her mind, which I was doing nothing about. What would happen if she found out? I felt a hand on my shoulder and I winced, eyes flying open. Gordon starred down at me, his eyes warm and kind, looking worried.

"Julia, are you alright?" He asked calmly, looking right into my eyes, unflinching. My heart melted at his stare. He hadn't flinched or looked away from my eyes, he'd starred straight on. I gave him a tiny smile.

"Yes, I'm fine; I'm just a little shocked." He nodded, but I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Julia, we still can offer protection it would help…" I starred at him, my heart hardening instantly.

"You don't get it do you?" I asked softly. "What is the point of killing more people, when inevitably, I will die anyway." Gordon's brow furrowed.

"Well, you should be more careful in the first place, people attacking criminals, especially one like the Joker are sure to shorten their lifespan." He replied in a fatherly tone. Thankfully, some officers and paramedics called him away to deal with the people coming out of the hotel. I got up off the makeshift table in the ambulance and climbed out, heading towards the commotion. At the mention of the other survivors, my heart began to pound again. What about William? The survivors who could walk were being led out by the officers and I craned my neck searching through the very small amount of people still able to walk. Then, I saw him, looking dazed with rolling eyes, scanning around. He saw me and grinned from ear to ear. When he came forward I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight, before getting a hold of myself and stepping away.

"What happened?" I asked. He pulled me over to a bench and sat down, forcing me to sit as well.

"We got the doors open, and then we filed into this hallway." He began, eyes shining with excitement. "Then, we heard the locks click and stuff moving against the doors and more balloons fell from the ceiling. They popped and this gas began to fill the room. There were a couple of vases in the room and we took off our coats and wet them and pressed it over our mouths to keep the gas away." He took a deep breath.

"But there were so many people…. And so little water. It didn't even help that much, but by that time Batman was pummeling down the door."

"What did he do?" I asked, completely involved in the story.

"Well, he opened the door, starred down at all of us, then disappeared. The cops came into the ballroom and began helping us out. There were so many bodies on the ground…." I shut off then. Batman hadn't helped them? He had the antidote in that needle, why didn't he help anyone? I kept my focus on William, trying to contain my uncontrollable fury. What the hell was wrong with me? Batman couldn't have helped those people; the cops were on his tail….

_So?_

_So he could have been caught!_

_He also could have stopped them, or told everyone the truth. Instead, people died! _

I didn't realize I was holding in my breath until William started to shake me, his blue eyes wide with fear.

"Hey Jules, you okay?" He asked worriedly. I shook my head fervently, trying to clear away the anger, the frustration.

"William, we should get you checked by the medics." I replied, ignoring his last comment. He grudgingly stood and walked over to the ambulances, hand clasped around my wrist. I was finally able to shake him off when he was asked to do some breathing exercises. I took off at that point, running in between officers, survivors and bodies, till the sounds of sirens and sobbing was behind me. Then, I slowed to a walk, almost sleepwalking down the street, my feet feeling awkward in the larger nurse shoes I was wearing.

Soon, I began to shiver, and I pulled the itchy blanket closer around me as I walked down the snowy streets of Gotham. After a while, the streets began to change from the upper class area to the middle class, and I saw people walking about. A group of guys outside a bar wolf whistled at me in my dress, and I sped up, shivering uncontrollably. I felt like I was sleepwalking, like I had no control of my body at all. The men at the club faded away and I walked: turning and twisting along the streets. On the inside, a battle of voices was raging.

_Batman knows, he didn't save them,_

_He's my hero, he's my hero_

_He knows, he didn't save them_

_He's my hero, he's my hero........_

It went on and on banging against my head. Suddenly, I stopped, realizing my surroundings. I stood, in the center of a long narrow alleyway, the lights from the flickering streetlights just barely casting a shadow. I started to panic, I didn't know where I was, I couldn't recognize any of the streets and….

"Hey there beautiful." Slurred a male voice from behind me. I pivoted and stared in shock at the three guys advancing towards me. From the way they walked, I could tell they were completely hammered.

"What you doin' out here walkin' by yourself for?" Asked one of the larger ones, with large sideburns. I started slowly backwards, hating that I didn't still have the hunting knife with me. A blonde haired man beside him flicked open a knife, while the other two leered menacingly, still approaching. I saw the steel and forgot how to breathe. I was going to die, here and now in this sleazy little alleyway, raped and killed. I felt the cool bricks meet my hands and I pressed myself against the wall, watching as they sauntered forward, taking their time. There was no hurry, in a place like this there would be no one to come running when my screams pierced the air.

"Well then beautiful?" Asked the man with the sideburns. "How about giving us a little kiss?" Suddenly, I snapped. My whole body tensed, and my vision went red with fury. I was so sick of being pushed around, of the Joker making me his own personal mouse to play with, the Batman my hero not trusting me, and me not being able to do squat about it. At that point, my street smarts and four years of self defense for a school elective took over. I aimed a kick right at the blonde haired mans crotch, hearing his roar as my foot hit him. I snatched the knife from him and sliced across his leg, blood splattering, as he yelled.

"Oh shit!"

I loved it, and wiped the blood off my cheek, starring at it in awe.

I felt powerful arms grab me around the waist, pinning my arms to my sides. I saw the side burned man in front of me, his lips came crashing down upon mine, hand groping at my breast, I kicked the man behind me in the shin and jumped on top of the side burned man, pummeling him and punching him in the face. I tried to clear away the haze.

I had to get away.

I leaped up and started to run, falling when a hand closed around my ankle. I shook it off and continued to run as fast as I could, fighting the will to go back and keep fighting, keep hurting. I collapsed a few minutes later, against the wall into the wet snow. I hugged my knees, hands coming away bloody from my knee, everything red. I wanted to hurt, to hit, to kill. I wanted to go back and really slice those men….how dare they attack me? My whole body shook violently, yet my eyes were dry, consumed with anger, with vengeance.

I so angry, yet scared. What was wrong with me? I remembered the joy of seeing that mans blood splatter against the ground, his cries sending pleasant shivers down my spine. It was wrong, something that Batman would never do…… I growled my fury increasing. To him, I was another threat, another criminal.

I moaned, rocking back and forth, trying to contain, trying to control my emotions. Everything was red, and my head rang with laughter. I succumbed to the madness, hoping it would leave me soon.

* * *

**SO? THIS CHAPTER SHOWED HOW POWERFUL JULIA IS WHEN SHE LETS HER EMOTIONS TAKE OVER, AND HOW HARD IT IS FOR HER TO CONTAIN THEM. BATMAN KNOWS!!!! IT WASN'T VERY CLIMATIC, BUT DON'T FRET, HE DOESN'T JUST IGNORE IT!! I'D LOVE SOME FEEDBACK ON THIS CHAPTER AND THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!!**


	15. Chapter 15 Phone Calls

**This chapter is loaded, and I was going to take off the ending, but I really wanted input on it..... poor Julia**

**Thanks for all your reviews guys! I'm glad you are enjoying this story and hope I won't disapoint! Veerrry tired, grammer many not be all too good.....so sorry!!!  
**

_**Disclaimer: has not changed**_

**

* * *

  
**

I don't know when my anger started to subside, but eventually I realized I wasn't able to feel my feet and my teeth were chattering. I stood, looking around at my surroundings and realized that I was only a block or two away from my apartment. I made my way through the streets of Gotham, stumbling and trying not to fall from emotional exhaustion.

I slid open my door, not even acknowledging it was unlocked and stumbled inside. I didn't even make it to the couch before I sank to the floor. I laid there, covered in dirt, blood and snow, my hair tangled, my head pounding.

A shadow fell over my head, and I looked up to see Batman above me, no compassion in his steel blue eyes.

"We need to talk." He growled. I put my head back down.

"No. We don't." I growled back. I wasn't in the mood to talk to this man, this _hero_ of mine. I just wanted him to go away. I heard the rustle of fabric, and my entire body tensed, just like in the alleyway. I sprang away as Batman moved to grab me, and backed away from him, grabbing a kitchen knife.

"Fine," I hissed. "You win. I'll talk, but if you like having two arms you won't come any closer." He nodded brusquely, both of us knowing I was no match for him, and that I would only be able to make a scrape before he brought me down.

"What happened to you?" He growled, starring at my torn dress and blood covered legs.

"I got jumped by a couple of rapists." I replied, eyeing him coolly. "And I got away thank-you very much." I could see surprise in his eyes, quickly replacing by disgust.

"You didn't..."

"No, I didn't kill them." I replied softly. "Do you kill people?"

"What does it matter what I do?" He asked. I giggled and he immediately tensed looking at me like I'd grown another head. I limped into my bedroom, the Dark Knight close behind me, and pulled out one of my scrapbooks. I made to hand it to him, but he didn't move. Shrugging, I walked back into the kitchen, knife ever in my hand, and placed it on the table.

"I have every article you were in here." I said quietly, my eyes shining with excitement. "Well, not every one, since I have a few other books, but these are the recent ones." I backed away so Batman could see. He glanced down and back at me, interest clouding his eyes. "Ever since you first showed up in Gotham, I've been your biggest fan. I was watching when they said you killed those people, including Harvey Dent…."

"And what do you think of me now?" He asked.

"I think your covering up for someone else." I replied fiercely, my anger mounting again. "I know you didn't kill those people, and because of that incident, more died tonight!" I stabbed the knife into the table furiously and saw Batman getting ready to attack. "You had that antidote stuff, I saw you jam that needle into your leg…. But you didn't help anyone else."

"There was no time; the police were right behind me!" Growled Batman, looking defensive. I rolled my eyes and cocked an eyebrow at him.

"No, that's just your way of saying it wasn't your fault." I replied. "Those people are dead because of you."

* * *

**Bruce/Batman**

This girl was a piece of work. I'd been waiting for hours until she came through that door, collapsing in a bloody and dirty heap. Then she'd stood and I saw her hair covered in dried blood and dirt, her eyes wild and rolling, her dress, a tattered purple and her bleeding legs, the red clashing with her skin. She wasn't bad looking, but the girl never looked normal, she always looked on the verge of snapping. I looked down at the many articles pasted artfully in the book, things highlighted in red. This girl was clearly obsessed.

I felt a wave of pity as I looked up at this pathetic girl, her eyes shining with excitement. She was so young, yet so wise already. I wished that I didn't have to do this, to scare her, to make her tell me what she knew….but I did. The faded bruises on her arms were the recent work of the Joker, that was clear to me, and it was obvious that they weren't the first. I closed the book and starred. She squirmed slightly, and then starred right back.

"You have some questions to answer." I growled at her. She raised her eyebrows, and leaned against the wall, eyeing me. Everything changed, she wasn't the grinning fan that I saw seconds before, and she was the girl who had glared at me when we'd first spoken.

"Like what?" She asked calmly.

"You're…." I swallowed my frustration "his daughter." She grinned at me, clapping her hands slowly.

"Very good, have a cookie." She replied, giving me a wide smile while I moved closer. This girl was a fucking clone of that monster!

"I want the story." I hissed at her.

"Fine." She got off the wall and moved towards me. "My mommy and daddy met at some stupid party then went upstairs and fucked each other for a while, then daddy took off to Gotham City and mommy had me."

The girl began pacing the room and I watched, ready if she went violent. "She and I moved to a crappy apartment and I spent 18 years fantasizing about what my father would be like when I met him. Then I decided that it was time to live out my little fantasy and go find my father, someone who could make everything go away, so mommy wouldn't have to be a stripper and I would finally have a daddy."

She giggled clutching her stomach, bumping into the furniture as she paced. "I came here on a scholarship and spent a few months researching, looking for the father who'd disappeared from the face of the earth. In the end…..he found me." Her laughter stopped, and her eyes lightened for a minute. She hugged her chest and looked forlorn, turning to me. "That's it." I shook my head.

"No. I need you to tell me more; I need the Jokers name, his past, everything."

"You think I know all that?" She asked quietly, looking at me.

"Not all of it, but I know you know his name, and I want it." She looked at me, and for the first time, I saw how bright the girl really was. Her eyes shone with intelligence, and she shook her head at me.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you that." What? I slammed my fist against the wall and she jumped, but remained calm.

"You don't get it. I need that information, I need it to use against him…. to stop him."

"And if I tell you, he won't just kill me; he'll kill people I know, people who care about me. People who I lo…..can't loose."

"If you don't tell me his name, more people will die, more will suffer!" I growled furiously. She shook her head, and I saw true pain in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I already told you so much, and I don't want to be responsible for someone's death." She she cocked her head at me and I forgot she wasn't _him_. Instinct took over.

* * *

**Julia**

Batman moved across the room like a bullet and pinned me against the wall, eyes shining with anger.

"TELL ME!" He shouted into my face. Utter rage emitted from him but I wasn't scared. I knew why he was so furious, so angry. He hated it, seeing people die, feeling responsible. He needed to get the Joker, and I was keeping that away from him. I gave him a sad smile.

"You won't be getting that from me Batman, and there is no way I will tell you." I felt his grip relax slightly. I grimaced and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Now, I can imagine that you'll probably be setting up camp here too right? No offense, but I already have a circus in my living room, I don't need a rodent infestation too, or the landlord will _freak_." Batman let me go and I sunk to the ground, watching him through my eyelashes. He starred at me, then abruptly turned and walked swiftly towards the window. I stood and watched him climb out, then turn back to me.

"This won't be the last time you hear from me Julia." He growled. "What your doing will have disastrous consequences." With that he stepped off my window, down into the streets of Gotham. I walked over to the window and shut it softly, before sitting down at the kitchen table.

It was there that I let the tears flow down my bloody face, where I finally let everything go. Batman, my hero, hated me because I couldn't tell him what the Jokers name was. How could I? People would be in danger, and…..I didn't want to. It wasn't just others lives that stopped me, some part of me didn't want to tell Batman. Some part of me didn't want to rat out my own father…..I slammed my forehead against the table, gasping with pain and relief as it distracted me from my thoughts. It felt good.

I reached over and pressed the button of my answering machine. The most recent was one from no surprise….William.

"Hey Jules? Are you there? Listen, people are looking for you so just call when you get in so I know your okay alright?" He hung up quickly then and I eyed the phone. Should I? I stopped the messages, picked up the phone and dialed his number. It rang once and he picked up

"Julia??"

"Hi. I'm okay." I said stonily. "Bye."

"Wait…" I hung up the receiver. I didn't want to talk to anyone, he was lucky he even got a call. I started the next message.

"Julia honey?" My mother's voice echoed around me and I sat completely straight. She sounded strained and frightened. "Please pick up…..please…. I miss you sweetie….I really do. Can't you come home for Christmas? For just a day?" I heard her sobbing, and I could imagine her sitting in the corner of our apartment that she always curled up in when she was sad. I could see her in the fetus position, mascara running in rivers down her pale face, her whole body shaking with sobs.

"I….I'm so scared Julia. I need you….I need you. Come home….please PLEASE!" She shouted the last word, her voice sounding tortured and pained. I fell to my knees in front of the machine, waiting. When she spoke again, she was whispering softly.

"I need my baby, I need my little girl. I love you I'll love you……." Her voice drifted off, and the machine cut off. I starred, frozen, a statue.

I so wanted to pick up that phone and call her, to tell her how much I cared, how much she mattered to me. That I lov…… **no**.

I couldn't, I just couldn't. She'd be fine without me….. I shook my head furiously.

No, it's not my fault!! How dare she try to make me feel bad! I pounded my fists onto the floor, then got up and stumbled into the bathroom. I splashed my face with water repeatedly, trying to fight the tears threatening to spill. I looked up into the mirror, wincing at how much I looked like the Joker. I wasn't going to cave, I wasn't going to just throw everything away and call her. No….. no way.

I turned on my shower and stepped in, not even bothering to remove my clothes. The freezing water pounded down onto me, making my cuts sting while I watched the red slowly drain away. I finally pulled off my tattered clothing and got out, wrapping a towel around my damp body and gingerly putting on a tank top and shorts before tending to my cuts. I finally lay my head on my pillow and closed my eyes. I didn't want to speak with anyone; I just wanted to be alone….

*****

The next couple of days I spent shopping and sleeping, extremely uneventful, interrupted only by a few coffee shop visits with William and one outing to the movie with Marissa, the latter which I had to be practically dragged to.

They both invited me for Christmas with their family, but I told both of them I was spending it with my mother, lying easily. I gave them both a present, and they gave me theirs, Marissa a pair of deep purple flats, which I accepted with delight, and William a small coffee machine and a few packs of expensive coffee beans, so we could have our "coffee sessions" without having to pay so much.

I was glad when they finally left, and retreated to my apartment where I spent the last two days before Christmas scrap booking Batman articles and working out at a gym I found. The fight with the drunken men in the alleyway five days ago had made me realize how helpless I was. The only reason I'd gotten away was because they were barely even standing after consuming so much booze. I found that I really enjoyed pushing my body to its limitations and spent hours there, just working out.

******

Christmas morning, I slept in and made myself some coffee, which I drank watching the snowflakes fall onto Gotham from my window. It was calming, but I knew that this day wouldn't be perfect. My mother would call today, probably worse than before, begging me to come home. But I wouldn't, I would make sure of that. Even so, it would still be hard to listen to her tears and pain…. It always was.

I waited all day, doing some things around the apartment, even going for a run, but the call never came. I watched Christmas specials and made myself some chicken and potatoes, but the phone never rang.

I woke the next morning, having slept soundly and hurriedly checked my message machine, but the button wasn't blinking. What was going on??? I picked up the phone, my heart racing and made to dial the number, but…I couldn't. I hung up and sat back down on the couch. Why hadn't she called? I grabbed one of the cushions and hugged it, curling my feet under me, watching the phone like a cat watches a mouse before it pounces. I starred at it, willing it to ring, for my mother to call, to hear her voice.

Hours later, I lay on the ground in the middle of my apartment, starring at the cracked ceiling. Did she not love me anymore? I thought childlessly. Did she decide I wasn't worth it? Was she hurt, was she okay? Questions ran through my head, pounding against the walls of my mind. Then, one single thought.

_Call her._

I reached for the phone with trembling hands and dialed the numbers of my….**her** house. The phone rang and rang, and I thought for a second she wasn't going to pick up but then…

"Heelllooo?" Drawled an all too familiar voice.

* * *

**and.....my plan is put into action. Get ready.**


	16. Chapter 16 Home again, Home again

**Okay, now there is this absolutely AMAZING thing on YouTube called the "Joker Blogs", and suprisingly, he doesn't have too many views. You seriously need to watch them, the acting is incredible, and as it goes on, the makeup is phenomenal. So after you all read this chapter and review (please!!!) go to Youtube and watch this guy!!!! **

**Sorry this one is later then usual, I had a b-ball tournament, and was nursing my poor knees, they're black and blue!!**

**_Disclaimer: I own no characters associated with DC comics, but the plot and other characters are mine._**

_

* * *

_

It seemed as if time stopped, as if everything ground to a stop. That moment, when I truly realized what was going on seemed to last forever. Finally, I found my voice.

"why are you there?" I whispered. "What did I do? I didn't tell anyone, so why are you there?"

"Aww sweetheart, don't worry your not being punished…" He paused. "Your just being given a heavy dose of…..reality." The phone line went dead and I staggered backwards. I couldn't think, couldn't even breathe. Would he really kill _her?_ He could, but would he? I heard the regular calls of sirens far off and I started, raising my head. My phone started to ring again. I reached over and grabbed it, putting it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Julia." It was Commissioner Gordon.

"Commissioner?"

"Yes. The Joker has just been spotted in a different town and we are under the impression it has to do with you. I ask you to go to friend's house and stay there while we sort this out." His voice sounded strained and worried.

"No!" I protested and I heard an awkward pause on the other end. "I just called my mothers house, he's there!" I began to scream into the phone, my tears spilling out of my eyes. "The only place I'm going is there….I have….have to save her!!! I HAVE TO!"

"Julia, Julia." The Commissioners voice was calming, but I could tell that he was strained. "I need you to tell me what happened, all we know is that he's in a different town, and your mother is involved."

"I have….have to go." I whispered softly.

"No, you don't." He replied just as quietly, realizing I knew nothing. "Stay here in Gotham until this is sorted out. Don't answer the phone for anyone and get yourself somewhere else. We'll call you." He paused. "And Julia?"

"Yes?" I whispered.

"I know your thinking of going, but I am asking you, not as the commissioner, but as a man who has seen too much of what the Joker is capable of, don't go."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Julia, no! You can't—" I gently placed the phone back into the receiver then flung myself across the room to grab my pocket knife, wallet, jacket, and keys. I slammed the door shut, locked it and ran down the stairs, out into the night, my heart thumping wildly.

****

I stepped onto the hard stone of the station, and surveyed my hometown through weary eyes. I hurried along, catching one of the buses, and slumped against the window, watching the suburbs flying by. The houses went from large to small, then moved to alleyways and apartment buildings. I climbed off the bus and walked along the street, stumbling every once in a while. What was I doing? I couldn't handle this by myself, I was….helpless.

But, it was my mother. She was in trouble, because of me.

I began to run, sloshing through the wet snow, my face dry of tears, hands hung loose at my sides. I rounded the corner and saw the small apartment building in front of me, the other neighbors gathered outside, the back door of my house blocked off by police tape. The door was covered in smudges of blood, and there was a Joker card taped to the front. The town police were there, looking nervous and when they saw me running towards them, a large man stepped forwards.

"Listen miss, this is a crime scene you need to step back…."

"NO!" I shouted at him, shoving him aside. "That's my house! My mothers in there!" The mans face fell.

"We're not supposed to enter until the Commissioner of Gotham City gets here, he knows more about this psycho than we do, we're hoping he can help us better asses the situation I….." I spotted the familiar police car of the GPD and drove my elbow into the mans gut than raced across the lawn throwing open the door of my mothers house. The hallways of our house were covered in smudges of blood, and just like at Arkham, they spelt out the words HAHAHA. I ran along the hallway, the stale smell of blood overpowering, hearing the door being flung open again, Commissioner Gordon yelling after me.

"Julia, stop. JULIA!" I skidded to a stop in the living room and saw for just a second, before Gordon grabbed me and turned me around, hugging me close and dragging me away.

I saw our small apartment, the blood on the walls, the carvings, a tiny Christmas tree smashed to smithereens, pieces of glass and cookies on the floor, and…..my _mother._ She was lying on the floor, in that corner she always sat, her face bloody, a smile plastered on her lips, face pasty white. Her eyes were blank and unseeing, her hair matted with blood. Her clothes were torn to shreds, and I could see smiling candy canes on her apron, covered in specs blood, making them look demented. One of her legs was partially dismembered from her body, and I could see the sticky pool of blood surrounding that area as well as her hands. She had but two of her ten fingers, and both of her hands were bent wrong. The fingers not attached to her hands were arranged in the shape of a "J", right above her head. She was on her back spread out, and along her arms and chest were the words "Fantasy over," carved into her body.

I wrestled away from Gordon and crawled towards my mother. I clutched at her bloody and dismembered corpse; my heart feeling like it was being ripped out of my chest. I saw her necklace that she always wore, still on her neck, covered in blood. I gently undid it and starred. It was a locket, completely gold colored, with a spade, heart, diamond, and club carved onto the front, fanned out, like a card deck. My mother had gotten it from hers, and it had been passed down for generations. I clutched at the necklace…..she was gone. Finally, I screamed.

Gordon grabbed me firmly and pulled me away, while I dug my nails into his shirt, still screaming. All I could see was my mother, giving me a smile, letting me hold her pretty necklace, letting me stay up with her and watch chick flicks. Then…. Her body, dismembered and bloody, that's what was left. A ruined nothing, an empty shell. She was gone. I collapsed to the ground halfway to the door, and Gordon picked me up. I buried my face into his chest, still screaming, shrill cries of absolute loss.

I felt the cool air on my neck and then the warm inside of a car. I stopped screaming, instead I just sobbed and pulled my knees to my chest. I looked up at Gordon, tears streaming down my face breathing heavily. He starred back calmly.

"Stay here." He said quietly. I turned away from him and focused on the coffee cup in the front. I could hear people yelling, I could feel the stares of other officers. But that all faded away, replaced by the picture of my mother, lying dead on the floor of our house. I didn't want to believe it, but the image was there, burned into my mind, forever to haunt me.

She was gone, there was nothing I could do, nothing I could say. She was gone all because of me. I found only one person responsible for this….me. I should have gone to seen her, I should have warned her, told her to leave, to hide.

_I should have I should have I should have_.

Instead, I hid, not wanting to revisit memories, not wanting my past to awaken and disrupt my future. But now, I had nothing.

****

"Julia?" I looked up at the Commissioner, sitting on a chair opposite me, his hair ruffled, glasses slightly askew. "I'm so sorry." I looked back down, tears threatening to spill.

"What's going to happen to the body?" I asked quietly.

"Your grandparents volunteered to pay for and organize the funeral." Said Gordon. "You won't need to worry about any of that." _What?_ My headed jerked upwards.

"They're paying for the funeral?" I hissed softly. "What when they never helped us with anything else? They knew how fragile her mind was, but they never helped." I shuddered and hugged my chest. "They never cared until now, they won't know what to do, and they probably won't even invite any of her friends or people that cared for her and helped us through all this crap, while they sat in their lovely house and......." I shook violently and Gordon put a gentle hand on my arm.

"It's my fault she's dead." I whispered quietly. "I should have told her about him, about everything, so she'd know….. so she could hide."

"And he'd find her even then." Said Gordon. "It isn't your fault Julia, it never was and never will be. It's his fault, he caused this all."

"But that's who he is." I snapped. " I'm not who I've been acting like these past few months, I'm…..scared. I'm not the same….this—this isn't me." Gordon shook his head at me, confused.

"I'm not sure I understand Julia." He said apologetically. I opened my fist and traced my nail along the card designs carved into my mother's locket.

"Of course you don't." I replied. "I don't even understand what's happening to me." I could feel Gordon's stare and looked back up.

"Listen Julia, it doesn't matter how you act, you are not alone." He placed a hand on mine, eyes kind. "That's the most important thing for you to understand. Forget everything else, just remember that your mother wouldn't have wanted you to let this affect your life, she would have wanted you to keep living it to the fullest." I eyed him. What was he, a shrink? I gave him a hostile glare.

"How would you know what she wanted? Did **you** ever meet her?" Gordon looked taken aback for a minute, and then stood, glancing at his watch.

"Julia, I'm sorry but I really have to be getting back to Gotham, I'm only leaving one of our detectives to check out this case. Your grandparents said you could stay there…."

"No." I said softly. "I'll get a hotel room."

"Alone?" Asked Gordon, concern in his voice. There was a knock on the police office and William entered, his face worried and concerned.

"No." He said firmly. "I'll stay with her."

"How did you…" I trailed off and William gave me a tiny smile. "My family lives twenty minutes from here. I saw your house on the TV and heard your name. I thought you'd want some company." He pulled me into an embrace, and I didn't fight it. I simply hung limp in his arms, relief flooding over me.

****

The snow was falling gently when I stood at the graveyard, watching my mother be lowered into the grave. My eyes were dry as I watched this grave procession, but the instant the coffin hit the ground, I could bear it no longer. My eyes glassed over with tears threatening to spill and I watched as the dirt was thrown over the black coffin. I glanced at my grandparents, standing to my side, looking forlorn.

_Serves them right_.

I grabbed at Williams arm, my nails digging in to his coat. He made no protest, but I heard his slight intake of breath. Gently, he loosened my grip and put an arm around my shoulders, holding me tight. I was thankful, because my whole body wanted to jump into the grave, wanted to rescue my mother from the dirt, from death itself.

Soon, I began to twitch, tapping a tune against my knee, humming it under my breath. When I realized it was the circus theme, I grimaced and turned from the meager group of people. William followed me across the ground, weaving through crumbling gravestones. I still hummed the circus theme under my breath, trying to remember why it sounded so familiar, like a part of my past. When we reached the edge of the wintery graveyard, I glanced at the coffee shop across the street and looked up at William. He gave me a tiny smile and took my hand, leading me across the street.

"It's not the usual place." He said. "But it'll do."

I clasped the hot steaming cup of coffee in both hands and starred at William as he spoke. His words washed over me and I listened to his smooth voice, letting it wrap around me, just like a warm blanket. It amazed me that I could give him so much hell and completely ignore and torment him, but it never fazed him, he just kept coming back. I wished I could just stay here, in this warm coffee shop, with Williams calming voice, but I couldn't. All good things must come to an end.

I sighed and stood heavily, looking towards the door.

"We should get back. I have to go to the….house to pick out the stuff I want to keep; you know….since its all mine now." I felt a warm hand on mine and glanced towards William, who looked at me warmly, concern sparkling in his blue eyes.

"Do you want company?"

"No." I said shortly. "I mean…..sorry William, uh…..I think I need to do this alone." He nodded understandably and gave me a toothy smile.

"That's fine Jules." He replied, and I stiffened at the nickname, pulling my hand away from his. "You want me to walk you there?"

"No." I said impatiently. "I just need to be **alone**." I turned away and walked back out into the cold afternoon, my hand still tingling from Williams warm touch.

*****

My mothers apartment had been fixed up and when I entered, it smelled of cleaning products and whitewashed walls. Some of the furniture was gone, but most of the wreckage remained, untouched. One of the police officers was still there and they escorted me through the halls towards my mother and my bedrooms. He left me standing at the entrance to my mother's room, the place still smelling of her perfume. I entered the messy and tiny bedroom with quivering legs.

I ignored her jewelry box and clothes; they were hers, it wasn't right for me to take them. I opened the closet and worked my way to the back, where I found boxes. I opened a few of them, finding childhood books and baby clothes, which I gently placed back inside. Then, I opened the smallest box and found a collection of home videos, neatly placed inside. I took it out of the closet and carried it out and into my room, where I placed the box on my bed and sat beside it. I took a few deep breaths, but was surprisingly calm. Finally, I raised my head and surveyed my bedroom, which also had the smell of paint and cleaning products. I could see the white patches on the wall that had been painted over and I immediately straightened. He'd been in _here_.

I stood and paced around my tiny room, taking in the thin layer of dust over everything. I wiped a finger along my desk, feeling horrible. My mother had left this place exactly the same, she hadn't changed anything. I thought back to the ruined Christmas tree in the living room and the cheep lights on the house. She had tried so hard to make everything better and I had refused it all. I rubbed my hands over my bookshelf, with the worn books sitting side by side, the piles of notebooks below it. I bent down and picked them up, opening them to find all my information about Gotham, jotted down hurriedly in scrawling writing.

There were some newspaper photos of Gotham and the Batman, as well as some interesting maps pressed inside. I placed them with the boxes, as well as a worn out old teddy bear, and a couple of my other books. I turned again to survey the room and something brightly colored caught my eye.

I moved back towards my bookshelf and picked up the tiny music box from the very top. It was something I'd had ever since I was born. The box was red, orange, blue, and green, and had painted elephants and trapeze artists on the corners, the big top in red and white on the top. I opened the box and heard the familiar circus tune. Now I knew why I was humming it while here. I saw the clown with his tongue stuck out, slowly turning in a rotating circle as the music played, lightly and hauntingly. Its mouth was red, and its clothes were purple……

I slammed the tiny lid shut and tossed it onto the bed, among the other things. That's when I noticed that my carpet wasn't in the place it usually was. I always had it right beside my bed, but now it was over by my desk. The carpet was supposed to cover the loose floorboards that were right beside my bed.

I bent down and pulled away the boards with shaking hands. I had used this hiding place to stash the money I made for the future, as well as my application papers for Gotham Times, things I didn't want my mother to see. No one knew about this place, yet he had noticed the tiny detail in the flooring, proof that boards were loose, just like I had, so long ago.

I peeled off the last board and looked into the small hole. It was supposed to be empty, but instead had a green present sitting in the center, wrapped with a purple bow. I pulled it out and tore at the paper, willing to play his game, hoping it was something to make the pain stop, to make it go away. I ripped away the green paper to find a videotape, joker card stuck to the center of it. I stared at the video tape for a few seconds, then peeled off the Joker card and dropped the tape into the box of home videos as fast as I could, as if it could burn me. As I began to put everything into the box, I shuddered violently. I shouldn't take the tape; it would only cause more misery. It wasn't like it would be the Joker and my mom sipping tea and eating cookies, it'd be……

I walked out of my bedroom and down the hall, the officer nodding to me, and opening the door as I walked out. The objects clanged about as I walked back to the hotel hurriedly, eyes anywhere but the box. It felt like the videotape was slowly burning a hole out of the box, and into my chest, where it would warp and destroy everything. If I watched this video, that would happen. But, if I didn't, it would happen eventually. I had learned in the very beginning that the Joker isn't one to give up, and I wanted to see my mother so badly……

Why resist temptation? There will always be more.

* * *

**Read and review please!!!!!! Thanks a ton, you're all awesome!!!**


	17. Chapter 17 A Lesson on Truth and Reality

**ARRRGGHHH!!! Many authors find that they are worried about pleasing all of their readers, especially in the more delicate chapters like this one. I have pondered and typed, and edited, and typed, and repeatedly pounded my head against the wall.....this is the final product. I don't feel like I did it right, but thats just me being a downer....hopefully I can please you guys! Just a warning, parts of this chapter can be graphic, I tried not to hold anything back. Reviews for this chapter would be....AMAZING!!! You can tell me you didn't like it, I don't care I want to know what people thought of this. I just need to post it and get it over with. Well....enjoy (hopefully)!**

**_Disclaimer: Don't own any of the DC comic characters.....don't sue please!!_**

* * *

_Home again home again jiggity jig._

_Whoopee_. I flicked on the lights of my apartments and dumped my box of possessions on the floor. After I left my mothers house, I checked out of the hotel, and took the next train back. William said goodbye before he went back to his family, and was worried that I'd do something irrational if alone. Much to my dismay he phoned Marissa, who spent twenty minutes offering her condolences over the phone. It was weird to hear her voice so down.

I surveyed the room, relived to finally be alone. I kicked the box along the floor where it hit the carpet, and padded over and sat beside it. I pulled everything out and eyed the pieces of my childhood, laid out in front of me. That was it.

The tape stood out from all the others, being that tape was still stuck to it. I starred at that piece of plastic from hell….why couldn't I just throw it out and be done with it? I picked it up with shaking hands and scooted across the carpet to sit in front of my dinky TV. I only had a VCR which I had gotten from the man next door. I hadn't even used it since VCR's aren't made anymore. The tape slid in smoothly and I grabbed at the music box. I needed something to cling go.

The screen flickered for a few seconds, and then the grinning face of the Joker came into focus.

"Helloo there sweetheart, Merry Christmas!" His black eyes starred out of the TV, boring into mine.

"This year I decided we uh…..should have a family gathering…… but since you decided to ditch…. your mama and I are going to celebrate without you!"

"No…." I whispered.

_Move, turn it off. You don't need to see this_.

"Oh yes!" The Joker fiddled with the camera, and I saw his purple shoes before the camera focused on my mothers house, the Christmas lights twinkling, most of them broken. The camera shook violently as the Joker mounted the steps, humming that stupid circus tune under his breath.

"Now." He whispered, pausing at the door. "Christmas is allll about giving…… and this year you deserve a present too sweetheart. It's called…..reality. This little uh….fantasy of yours? It isn't gonna happen." He said it so harshly, letting the words take control, letting them twist around me.

_Turn off the TV….turn it off…._

"And now……showtime." I watched as the Jokers gloved hand reached out and grabbed the handle of the door, camera shaking as he opened it. I could hear a distant humming coming from down the hall, and the Joker walked slowly, past the bedrooms. The humming stopped and I could hear the faint notes of "silent night" playing. Then, my mothers voice, strained and happy.

"Julia?" The Joker stifled a laugh, and the camera moved up and down.

"I think your mom's going to have to…..help me give you your present." Whispered the Joker.

I heard light footsteps and my mother rounded the corner, peering down the hallway. I gave a slight whimper at the sight of her, blonde hair flying in different directions, blue eyes dim. She wore a ratty old Christmas apron, and in her hands she held a tray of burnt cookies. Shock flitted across her face for a second, then utter terror. Everyone knew about the Joker.

_Her face__........please turn it off......_

"Wh-wh-what?" She stuttered, slowly backing away, shaking unsteadily. The Joker moved forwards.

"Honey, I'm home!" He drawled, moving across the ground. I heard the light flick of a knife and the camera went black. I gave a sigh of relief, finally being released. That was it, that was it. No more, nothing else. Suddenly, the TV sprang to life and the Jokers face came back into focus.

"Got you!" He cackled, scars stretching as he smiled even wider. "Can't let you miss the show sweetheart, or you won't learn anything!" He stepped away and I could see my mother tied to a chair in the center of the room. The Joker began to pace around her, while she watched him, her face confused and frightened. Horror washed over me. I could see everything, and the Jokers hands were free of the camera. Worst of all, I couldn't look away.

_God dammit! Turn it off!!!!_

The Christmas music was still playing, jingle bells now merrily flowing through the room. The Joker paused, grabbing a cookie from the floor, where the broken plate lay. He bit into it, and made a face, glancing at my mother.

"Urgh! You should really get involved in crime uh….. Erica. Are these uh **cookies** laced with toxin?" She starred at him with glassy eyes, while he spat the remains onto the floor.

"What d-d-do you want?" She whimpered. His head turned and I could see his black eyes focus in on her.

"Want? Oh, I want nothing; I'm just here to….visit." He paused and moved closer, placing a blade against my mother's cheek. "You see, there's someone that I've met back in uh Gotham who knows you." My mother shuddered and strained against the ropes binding her to the chair, trying to get away from the knife. The Joker straightened once again, and I heard a gasp from my mother as he began to pace the room, glancing at the camera. I could see a small trickle of blood ebb down my mothers face.

The Joker wandered about the small area, then abruptly turned and sauntered out of view, in the direction of the kitchen. I heard the slamming of cupboards, and my mother raised her head, looking straight at the camera, blue eyes looking pitiful. I clenched the music box tightly, unable to look away. What was he doing in there?

_Turn it of Julia. Please, make it __stop........._

Suddenly the Joker was back in the camera view, his arms full of alcohol. I could see his face, it was filled with excitement and…..fury.

He placed the bottles on the ground, keeping one and looked towards the camera.

"Is that how it is? Mommy comes home and has a couple of drinks hmm?" My mother starred at him and at the bottle, fear clouding her eyes. He bent, bottle still in hand.

"You know whaaaat? My father was a drinker, just like you Erica……. I hated him." He dumped the bottle over top of my mothers head, and the drink soaked her hair. She cringed and whimpered, while the Joker gathered the other bottles, pouring them on her head.

"How does it feel Erica? To be….. responsible. You know your daughter left because of you…..because you drank. Its alllll your faul-t." I could hear the slow dripping of alcohol after the Joker poured the last bottle on my mothers head, and she finally looked back up.

"It is." She whispered. The Joker nodded along with her.

"Yes….all your fault. You know, she didn't come back home for Christmas cause she was too….busy. She uh didn't come because she can't stand you….. **she hates you**." My mother gave a low moan.

"No…. no she doesn't hate me…..does she?" She looked up at the Joker, hope in her eyes, as if he would tell her what she wanted to hear. The Joker simply shook his head at her, bottle dropping to the floor with a crash.

"Wellll…… when I spoke with her….." My mothers' body straightened, as if electrified. Her eyes focused in on him, furious.

"Y-you! Don't you dare hurt her!" She thrashed against her bindings and the Joker stepped back, an amused look on his face. He looked towards the camera.

"Well then sweetheart, that temper of yours sure does run in the family." My mother stopped moving and starred at the camera.

"Your giving that to her?" She whispered. The Joker sighed dramatically and he put on a tone that you would use to scold a child.

"Yes, it's my Christmas present to dear Julia. I'm here to teach her a lesson on _fantasy_." His knife flicked open and again, and he grabbed one of my mothers hand, clasping it tightly.

"You see in Julia's little world….. she thinks that everything will work out….that uh she'll be happy. **She won't.**" I heard a crack and my mother screamed, as the Joker dropped her broken wrist.

_Please stop, please…_

"Life doesn't work that way, fantasy and reality can never coexist." The Joker took my mothers other hand, while she struggled whimpering. He looked at the camera, black eyes burning.

"For people like us sweetheart, we uh have no future. The world has it out for you, and the only thing you can do is separate truth….. from lies." My mother screamed again, and I heard the loud crack as her other wrist was broken.

"People have lied to you Julia, saying it's going to be okay…..its not. Your mother lied to you. She told you it would be okay when you were little….. it wasn't. The commissioner? He lied." The Joker shoved the chair and my mother crashed to the floor. "He told you he cared didn't he? He doesn't even know." The rope fell to the floor and Joker grabbed my mother, pulling her towards the camera, so I could clearly see her pearly tears streaming down her face.

"This…..is reality Julia. This is the cold truth….. those little pictures in your journals…. That is fantasy." The Joker brought his knife to my mothers lips.

"And the thing is sweetheart…." My mother stared at me, pleadingly with big blue eyes. "Fantasies don't kill….. Reality does." The knife cut into my mothers white skin, dragged along making a smile on her teary face.

The sound she made sounded like a dying animal, like when you hit a creature with your car and they aren't yet dead. That pitiful shriek of pain? Imagine that horrible sound with a humans voice.

She screamed and screeched, finally whimpering, when the Joker finished. Blood poured out of her mouth, looking like she was spitting out a batch of Kool-Aid. I had never seen so much blood in my life, and it never stopped, crimson flying everywhere, on everything. Soon my mother just gurgled, eyes wide with fear and the Joker held her in his arms, eyes blank and merciless.

"You know what I did to my father….the one who drank?" My mothers eyes began to glaze over from the blood loss, and the Joker slowly lowered her to the floor.

"You see, my father had always been a….funny kind of guy. He always told these uh god-awful jokes......and of course I would always ignore him. He'd always laugh at me and point his stubby fingers at me, tell me that….. I uh needed to have a sense of _humor_….HAH!" The Joker giggled and mother slowly stopped thrashing, while he straddled her, wiping his knife on his coat.

"Kinda ironic hmmm?" He asked my mother, pointing with his knife to his scars.

"Well…. I showed him, I gave him a lovely smile, _just_ like yours and mine and then…." He took one of my mother's hands and put the smaller knife on the ground, bringing out a hunting knife from his coat pocket. "I grabbed his hand and slowly cut his—" The Joker brought the knife down onto my mothers fingers and she tried to scream, but all that came were wet gurgles. "—Fingers off." I wished I could shut my eyes and shield myself from the pitiful scene, the Joker hacking off the fingers of my mother, and her pathetic attempts to get away, her gurgles and whimpers, her blood pooling. The Joker's face was shining with excitement, specks of blood standing out from his white makeup. Once he finished with her fingers, he brought them to the top of her head and arranged them in a J.

"Then, I put them in a J, like the beginning of my name. And then….." The Joker brought his mouth close to my mothers, and I could barely hear what he whispered.

"He died." The Joker stood and prowled over to the camera. For a second, I thought my mother really was dead, but I could see her strained breathing. The Joker grinned at the camera, and lifted if from its place on the shelf.

_Oh no…..turn it off Julia….now_

"Julia Julia Julia….. its time you learned that people like uh you and me are too good for everyone else. Its not that we don't deserve the world, the world doesn't deserve us. You need to let go of hopes and dreams…..that's all they are." He focused the camera on the broken body of my mother, her eyes dim, but staring straight at me.

_Turn it off…__turn it off__….TURN IT OFF!!_

"Whose fault is this?" The Joker hissed softly. "Did you protect her? Did you try to uh help? No." My mother eyes flickered to the Jokers face, heaving tiny breaths, trying to fight the on pour of blood. She starred at him, then suddenly filled with confusion.

"….Jack?..."

_**TURN IT OFF!!!!**_

The Joker brought up his knife and stabbed it into her heart.

At that instant an intense pain spread across my chest and I hissed jerking. It felt like something was breaking apart, falling like shattered glass. My mother gave one last gurgling cry, blood flying….then……her eyes blank and unseeing. The camera zoomed in on her corpse, shaking with the Jokers giggles.

…_NO…_

"This Julia is the uh cold hard truth…..reality…..this is your _life. __**What will you do?**_" The camera turned around and I was met once again with the Jokers grinning face.

"Merry Christmas sweetheart and uh……. A **happy** new year." The TV went blank, but I didn't move, didn't breathe…..my hands began to hurt. I looked down and saw that my knuckles were white, clenched tightly around my music box. I opened it and watched the little clown circle, the circus tune play.

_What will you do?__._

I brought a hand up and ripped the clown off its pedestal, then stood and crushed it beneath my foot. I walked over to the window and hurled the music box, watching it fly across the sky, then land with a loud crash in the middle of the street, narrowly missing a car.

_Too bad. _

I shook my head furiously and put my hand to my face to wipe away tears…… there was none.

* * *

**Before it was a little bit longer, but I think you guys have enough of poor angsty Julia and are ready for what happens next. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter, and I would love it if you reivewed!!! Thanks a bunch!!**


	18. Chapter 18 Knives

**Alright, here is chapter number 18. This chapter is pretty much just setting some things up for further chapters, but you will see a big difference in Julia in this chapter….that's all I'm going to say.**

**_Disclaimer: don't own, don't sue._**

* * *

Not crying frightened me, so I re-winded the tape and watched it again, listened to the screams of my mother, the laughter. Nothing. Again….again….again. A smile. It was around four in the morning, and I sat in the middle of my carpet, not a tear on my face…a grin.

I finally understood what was wrong. I wasn't living my life, I was mourning for the one I always wanted….but it wasn't happening.

I got up and brought my box of journals out of the cupboard and into the middle of the carpet. I sat down and opened my oldest one. There were pictures in there, of my father, of happiness, success, my mother and father together again….love, hope, happiness.

_Fantasies….Lies._

I tore the pages from the book; let them flutter to the floor. Piece by piece, falling slowly. The first emptied, I started on the next one, and another.

Childhood drawings covered the floor, colours of red and black, deep thoughts and emotions. I gathered them up, stacked them neatly, and glancing at my stony reflection in the window, ripped through those little lifelines of hope, all I had left.

Now, they were nothing but pathetic drawings, torn paper, a child's dreams. This, what was happening, was something completely different. It was reality.

Ouch. Paper cut. That hurt. I looked at the tiny speck of blood on my hand…..the blood pooling out of my mothers mouth. It looked like Kool-Aid too, or red freeze….did it taste like that? I licked my finger, and grimaced. Eww. It tasted like iron.

_Kool-Aid. Hah! What was I thinking?_ I giggled, clasping a hand over my mouth. That was funny! I jumped up and kicked at the sheets of paper. Hah! Looked like snow! I picked it up by the handfuls and tossed it out my window, not even, minding the cold. The pieces of paper floated down, blowing this way and that, and some homeless loser looked up and gave me the finger. I simply tossed more. Fantasies, that's all they were…..this was my reality…..this was my game.

*****

I massaged my temples, and starred at my computer screen, humming a generic tune. The door opened and closed and I glanced up to see William and Marissa standing in front of me, Marissa carrying a fluffy white teddy bear with flowers, and William looking embarrassed, glancing at me apologetically. Marissa looked like she was about to cry.

"Hey there," she said softly. "How are you doing?" I cocked my eyebrow at her and walked around my desk to lean against it.

"I'm fine." I replied, giving her a smile. "How are you doing?" Marissa gave a dramatic sigh and, pushing the flowers and teddy bear into William's arms, threw her arms around me.

"You're so brave!" She blubbered. I stepped swiftly away from her, and she stumbled, almost falling flat on her face. I straightened my dark purple blouse and took the teddy bear and flowers from an embarrassed William. I handed Marissa the teddy bear, and placed the flowers on my desk then looked down at her disdainfully.

"Come on Marissa," I said. "I'm fine, really." She sniffed and held the wet teddy bear in front of her. I pushed it back, trying to sound sincere.

"Keep it." I replied. Marissa nodded and left the room, giving me a tiny smile.

"I'm glad I cheered you up Julia." She said. Her high heels clacked down the halls and I turned to William, who was trying not to laugh.

"I'm so sorry about that." He snorted. "I told Marissa that you probably didn't want her blubbering in front of you, but she wouldn't listen." I giggled and William starred at me, surprised. I shook my head, and grabbing my coat, headed towards the door.

"So…coffee?" He grinned at me, and followed.

*****

I walked down the dark street, a newspaper blowing past me in the wind. I had just picked up three new knives, nice big ones too, a large black switchblade, and two silver throwing knives. I'd always had good accuracy, and though I didn't really know a lot about throwing knives, I had figured out the stance. I thought it would be a pretty good advantage to have. I'd tucked the throwing knives in my boots, the switchblade in my coat pocket and the pocketknife in my jeans. It made me feel purposeful, and powerful. I hesitated by one of the unlit windows along the street and looked in.

I eyed the guns against of the wall of the dark shop, my hands against the glass. This absence of the Joker wouldn't last long, and they just looked so sleek in their cases. But how would I get in? I sighed heavily and turned from the store, coming face to face with a cloaked figure.

"It's dangerous to walk around alone at night." Growled Batman. I flicked open my new switchblade and grinned at him.

"I think I can take care of myself."

"Not when your relations with _him_ get out." I made a face.

"Yeah, but who's gonna tell? Me, you, or him?" Batman said nothing and I grinned at him. I then pivoted and began walking down the alleyway. There was the sound of cloth rustling and I bumped something hard. I backed away, Batman's blue eyes watching my every move.

"Listen." I said calmly. "I'm honored that out of all the mass destructing psychopaths out there this minute running around and killing people, that you've chosen me, a 19 year old girl, who isn't even doing anything."

"I heard about your mother." Growled the Batman, completely ignoring my comment. I raised my eyebrows.

"You did? Hmm, yeah I heard about that too. Saw it too." Batman's eyes widened under his mask and I wrapped my hands around my chest.

"Yep. Got it on video tape as a present." I looked up into his blue eyes, looking for some sign of emotion. The Batman stepped closer to me, eyes boring into my head.

"Don't do anything rash." I eyed him, confused.

"What?"

"Don't go doing something that you'll regret. You aren't him, don't ever think that." I sighed heavily.

"Tell me Batman, have you ever heard your parents dying screams? Seen there blood pooling around them…not being able to do anything?"

I saw Batman stiffen underneath all that armor and frowned, waiting for his answer. But he said nothing, pulled some sort of mechanism out of his pocket, shot it up, and flew upwards, onto the roofs of Gotham. I watched him go, confused, yet intrigued. Batman had lost someone like me…..maybe it made him become the Bat in the first place? I shrugged my shoulders and stuffing my hands in my pockets, continued along the street.

****

I saw that my door was unlocked and grimaced, checking my pockets to make sure I had my newly acquired knives….perfect. I entered my apartment taking the switchblade out. I came face to face the Joker leaning against the wall hands in his pockets, eyeing me with interest. I kept my knife in front of me, slowly moving around to a more comfortable angle.

"What could you possibly want?" I hissed at him furiously.

"Nothing sweetheart, just wanna see how my lovely little girl's Christmas was…."

"You know very how well it was!" I yelled. He laughed merrily, eyes never leaving mine.

"Ah, sweetheart you know how to put a smile on my face….wait." The Joker looked slightly puzzled, and then laughed again.

"Go away." I growled menacingly, my voice low.

"Taking a page from Batman I see." The Joker put on a worried face. "Wait….is….is his throat cancer contagious?" I hurled the switchblade at the wall, a couple of inches from the Jokers face. He eyed it, and then pulled it easily out of the wall. Note, switchblades are not good to throw

"Nice throw….but uh now you have nothing to defend—" I reached down and pulled one of the throwing knives out of my boot, aiming it at him.

"—yourself with." The Joker raised his eyebrows. "uh….scratch that." I grinned at him.

"I'm not taking a page from Batman's book, I'm taking it from you. Multiple knives are waaay better than one." I laughed, while the Joker watched me, a smug look on his face.

"So then sweetheart, did you get my present?" In response to his question I flung the throwing knife at the wall, hearing the resounding thud and grunt as it hit the joker's coat, pinning that the fabric against the wall, tugging the Joker along with it. He ripped the knife out of the wall and eyed it.

"Hmm…..I uh guess that means you did." He twirled the knife, watching as I pulled another one, this time out of my boot.

"Uh….did you used to be a sword thrower for the circus sweetheart?" I laughed coldly, running the blade along my arm.

"Nope. I'm actually just getting in some practice, I'm trying to hit you; you should hope I keep missing." The Joker tossed the throwing knife on the counter, stiffening at my words. He slapped his knee, flicking open his own knife.

"Hah! Should of killed your mother a long time ago sweetheart…..your waaay more fun now." I clenched my fists and ran headfirst into the Joker, slamming against the wall. He twisted my arm painfully, easily switching our positions and I kneed him in the groin, causing him to buckle. I backed away, watching as the Joker drew haggard breaths, laughing hoarsely.

"Hah! But…..your temper needs work….how you expect to uh get anything done if you keep loosing your pretty head?" I snorted, rubbing my reddened wrist.

"I was actually hoping that I'd be able to take your head before I lost mine." I hissed. The Joker sauntered over to the couch and sat down, twiddling his thumbs thoughtfully. I edged around so I could see his face. He starred right at me, eyes holes of darkness.

"You know what Julia? When I was visiting with your mother uh….Erica..... I realized something. You really uh lived in your own little fantasy didn't you? It was all dreams wasn't it Julia?" I winced, and waited for the fear and tears….nothing. Oh, I could get used to this. The Joker noticed the absence of emotion on my face.

"Your learning." He looked at the remains of my journals, still scattered across the floor. "Your separating your uh fantasies from reality." The Joker stood and made his way towards me. I dove underneath his arm to try to get around him, but he caught my ankle and sent me flailing to the ground, hitting my chin on the carpet. I gave a gasp and swiveled around kicking until the Joker let go of my ankle. He looked down at me smugly and I gave a roar of fury, launching myself off the ground, straight for his throat, he sidestepped my leap, and I crashed into the wall. I felt myself being pulled up by my arms and yanked backwards to hit the opposite wall, Joker's face an inch from mine.

I shook my head, trying to focus, his grinning face coming into view.

"Crap." I hissed softly. "That really hurt!" The Joker cackled.

"Julia Julia Julia…..your learning….but uh you are _nothing_ to me." I pulled my other throwing knife out of my boot, then felt the light pressure of the muzzle of a gun against my head. I paled.

"I could kill you right now sweetheart….**never** forget that." God I needed to get myself one of those! I shifted nervously, stopping when the Joker pressed it harder.

"Its so easy Julia….I could simply press the trigger…." I heard the flexing of his gloves and shut my eyes, tensing. I heard the click as he pulled the trigger and winced, but nothing happened. The Joker laughed softly, and continued to click it repeatedly.

"You never know when I may not uh have the safety catch on." He hissed softly. I went to stab him with my knife, which he stopped with his free hand, clenching it around my wrist. It was a smooth move, yet now he wasn't holding me against the wall. I rolled away from him, forcing his hand to let go of my wrist, and stood, knife still in hand.

"Believe me; I've learned just not to trust you." I replied smoothly, extremely proud of myself, though I knew that he could definitely stop me if he wanted to. The Joker said nothing for once, and I continued.

"I am _not_ **nothing** to you, I am **better **then you. Can you love? Can you care? No. I have people who care whether I live or die, do you? I have love, and you don't." The Joker cocked his head, straightening his trench coat.

"Ah, you're right sweethear-t." He popped the t and grinned. "I don't care, I don't love. But….isn't it uh better that way? If you didn't care you uh wouldn't be hurting, you'd be fine. You wouldn't be worried about anyone but number 1. You think I never cared?" The Joker laughed, eyes never leaving my face. "I did and I learned. Love and caring only brings you down….if you don't have that uh you can never feel the pain of loss hmm?" I starred at him, knife hung loose in shock. There was a loud knocking on the door.

"Julia? Hey Julia open up!" The Joker's head swiveled towards the door then back to me. I fought back the emotions trying to escape. It was William. I shook my head softly, looking at the Joker pleadingly.

"Please don't. Please." My voice cracked slightly and the Joker raised his eyebrows slightly.

"See? Caring….it all uh ends the same way. In pain." He moved towards the door and I flung my knife at him, this time hitting its target. The Joker grunted as the knife his side. He glanced down and back up at Julia, laughing softly. The Joker pulled it out of his side and moved across the room grabbing my hair, before I could move. He dragged me towards the door and whispered in my ear. "Lie." I heaved a sigh of relief. He wasn't going to hurt William, for now. But….I was in trouble. I cracked open the door.

"Hey William." I said, yawning. "What are you doing here?" William made a face.

"My brother lives down the street from here and Marissa's dating him. She was over there when I went to visits and said she hadn't seen you come in. I just wanted to make sure your okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine." I gave a yawn and looked at William apologetically, trying to ignore the knife pressed against the back of my neck, and the putrid breath tickling my ear. "Just feeling a little down, and tired. I kinda want to go to bed." William nodded, looking sheepish.

"Oh, yeah, its late, I know you've had a pretty hard couple of days. That's cool…." He looked down at me, giving me a bright smile. "Just remember Julia, I'm just a phone-call away if you need me." I gave him a weak smile, and the knife pressed in against my neck. _Hurry up._

"So, see you tomorrow." I said hurriedly. William nodded. "Yep, see you." I shut the door and the Joker forced by head against the peep hole.

"Is he gone?" I watched as William stood at my door for a few more seconds, looking forlorn. Then, he turned and walked away down the hall and out of sight.

"Yes." I breathed.

"Wonderful." The Joker threw me across the room and I threw out my hands to steady myself, getting up again to face him. The Joker sauntered over, and I grinned smugly to see the red slowly seeping through his vest. "Julia, you know you keep telling me you aren't like me at all…..I don't believe it." I winced and glared at him.

"I'm not." I hissed.

"Prove it." He hissed back. I growled and raised my hands to hit him. He grabbed them both in one hands and pressed me against the wall.

"You are just like me sweetheart….your just a uh couple steps of realization towards _this_." I looked up at his eyes, boring down at me.

"I….I don't kill people. You do." The Joker laughed.

"Hmm….maybe not yet sweetheart….but everything's corruptible……and you still have a uh looong way to go." The Joker weighed his gun in his hand, then wiggled his eyebrows at me. He brought the gun up and sent it crashing onto my head. I sunk to the ground with a huff. Last thing I saw was the Jokers purple shoes in front of me, and his drawling voice.

"Sweet dreams sweetheart…..may they uh turn into _**nightmares**_." My vision went black.

*****

I pressed the ice pack against my sore temple, hissing slightly. God that had hurt! The Joker was long gone, yet I was still hurting. I watched the pictures of the TV sleepily, yawning every once in a while. The Joker had pointed out that I was like him…..was I? I dropped the ice pack on the ground and looked at my pale hands. The laughing, the fidgeting, the new lack of emotions, the emptiness inside….. What was I becoming…how could I stop it? How could I prove to him we weren't the same?

I'd have to do something that he'd never do, help someone he'd never help…I saw Commissioner Gordon on the screen, talking to some reporters, and I sat up straight. But it wasn't Gordon I was looking at; it was the young woman with brown eyes and black hair in a ponytail in the background. Anna Ramirez.

_Bingo._

* * *

**So there's the chapter, and I hope you all enjoyed it.....maybe even express your feelings with a review? It only takes a couple of seconds!! The next chapter will be up sooner then normal, since its almost completly edited. Have a good weekend!**


	19. Chapter 19 A Big Mistake

**This chapter I'm not perfectly happy with, but hopefully you all enjoy it. I really appreciate the people who are revieiwng my story, it really means a lot to me. Sorry this is late, I was away on the weekend! **

**_Disclaimer: blah blah...don't own....._**

* * *

Over the next week I took to having lunch at a café across from the police station, where I was under the impression Ramirez worked. I saw her a couple times, leaving the building at different times, but nothing useful. I realized that I couldn't just go up and ask for that kind of information….she wasn't going to tell me. However I decided to do this, it'd have to be by force. That scared me, since I knew I couldn't control my emotions, that if I wasn't careful I could seriously hurt her. Even as I was worried that I'd loose my temper, I also kind of wanted too. It had just felt so good, having someone regard you as a threat, something to be intimidated by. Batman didn't consider me to be a big enough threat, and I wanted to show him that I was.

It was a cold and windy afternoon, and I was heading back to my apartment from surveying the Gotham Police station. I was walking through a less safe area, but that didn't bother me anymore. I'd bought these dark almost black purple boots, which I had added in flaps on each one, a place to put my throwing knives. I also had the switchblade in my coat pocket and my trusty pocketknife in my jeans. I never went anywhere without them.

I been walking for about 10 minutes before I realized that there was a figure following me along the street. I picked up my pace, slightly agitated. There was something about that person that made me want to get as far away as possible. I walked into one of the more populated areas and made my way around there for a while, trying to shake him off, as I'd determined him to be a man from the broad shoulders and tall stature.

But, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of him. I rounded a corner and ducked into a small café, heading to the back and sitting down. I ordered a coffee and looked up to see the man in a long trench coat and broad rimmed hat in front of me. He sat down and I eyed him speculatively.

"Listen here whoever you are, I am not someone to be messed with." I slipped my switchblade out of my coat and showed the tip of it under the circular table.

"Leave now." I said softly, keeping my face calm and nonchalant. The stalker gave a quiet chuckle and I froze instantly……are you kidding me?

"Ah ah ah sweetheart, I don't really think you mean that hmm?" I kept the knife under the table and didn't move an inch, though I was fuming on the inside.

"Yes, I mean every single word." The Joker raised his hat so I could see his face and before I could shout I realized his scars weren't there. I looked closer while the Joker watched me with an amused look. They were there if you looked super close and were picturing them, but were covered in some sort of heavy makeup. He placed his hat on the table and grinned at me, scratching his now dirty blonde head instead of the usual string locks of green. He looked completely different, exactly like me. He looked….normal, as long as you didn't look at his eyes.

"And you wonder where you get your good looks hm?" He said softly, chuckling. I raised my eyebrows and leaned back.

"Okay, I'll bite. Why are you doing this?" The Joker cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm just a uh little sick of having our lovely little visits inside all the time. I thought it uh would be a laugh if I saw what you did during the day." The Joker made a face.

"And believe me sweetheart…. that is uh no way for a 19 year-old girl to spend her time spying on the Gotham's most pathetic police force hmm?" I continued to frown at him, ignoring his comment.

"That's not the reason you're doing this." I said harshly, motioning with my hand towards his face. "Your doing this to throw me off to…." The Joker said nothing and nodded with his head for me to continue. "To….corrupt me to bother me, scare me…." The Joker a short chuckle and when a few people around us looked at him, he stood, grabbing my wrist and pulling. I stayed sitting and the Joker sighed dramatically.

"You better move sweetheart…..your not the only one with things in your uh pockets." I stood slowly and the Joker grinned, pulling me alongside him as we raced out the door, me having barely enough time to grab my coat.

We walked through the park, me struggling to keep up with the Jokers long legs, him whistling a generic tune. I didn't know how to get out of this situation. I didn't think he would kill me, but I knew that if I tried something stupid he would have no problem killing someone else….. wait, actually maybe even me. I really didn't understand this man.

The Jokers began whistling the circus theme and I smiled slightly, remembering that little box… before I threw it out my window. I licked my lips and joined in, whistling along to the eerie tune and for a second I felt truly at peace…as long as I didn't look to my right. The Joker suddenly stopped and grabbed my arm, nearly wrenching it out of its socket. He threw himself onto the park bench and I collapsed beside him, my heart pumping furiously. He laughed at me, loudly, since no one was around on such a cold day.

"What do you want clown?" I sighed irritably. I was not in the mood for games. The Joker clasped his hands together and angled himself so he could see me without turning his head.

"I just want to talk, is there anything wrong with that?" He gave me a hurt face, licking his lips ferociously.

"Yes." I answered wearily. "Cause just talking, leads to serious mind fucking with you." The Joker raised his eyebrows.

"My my my, didn't your mother ever teach you to uh watch your mouth?" I made to hit him but the Joker grabbed my wrists and twisted them painfully.

"Ah ah ah sweetheart. We're not done talking yet." I continued to struggle, then stopped and huffed. The Joker let go of my arms and I crossed them over my chest.

"Good girl. Now uh, I need you to look at me." He grabbed my chin and forced it to his face. He smiled and I saw the crack through the makeup.

"Now then sweetheart….how's uh life?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Oh its _wonderful_….my dads a clown who killed my mother and now I'm being stalked by him." The Joker laughed and his whole body shook, making my head bob.

"Sweetheart, you sure have an _interesting _sense of ah… humor." The Joker pinched my chin painfully, his eyes fixed on mine.

"But…..sarcasm is an art which is….very misunderstood…and, can be ah offensive." He forced my head to the right and it hit the back of the metal bench. I hissed with pain and the Joker forced my head back up.

"Now, are we going to be nice?" I tried to shake my head.

"Fat chance." The Joker shook his head at me, tsking.

"Alright, then I'll just talk and you'll uh listen." I said nothing and the Joker grinned.

"Good. So, taken to carrying knives with you sweetheart hm?" He flicked his knife open and grinned at me, the makeup cracking again. "Your growing up so quick." I clenched my lips together. The Joker wiggled his eyebrows, and then suddenly stood, pulling me along.

"Hey, do you want to see something sweetheart?" He whispered in my ear.

"I don't really have a choice do I?" I whispered back.

"No." The Joker hissed. He latched onto my wrist and pulled me towards the docks bordering the park, the freezing water lapping the wood. We stopped at the very edge and the Joker forced my head down.

"Look." He drawled. I starred at my murky reflection, confused. The Joker leaned on the railing beside me, and my eyes widened.

"Julia….you keep denying yourself the inevitable. Everything of you is….mine. Your face, your uh hair, your eyes………everything." I starred at the wavy and rippling image shivering in the cold. Without the makeup and the scars….we were the same. The Joker leaned in and hissed in my ear.

"We act the same too sweetheart…..your laugh, your walk, the way you talk, smile…..mine." I shook my head slowly.

"No…."

"Yep." The Joker hissed. I turned and placed both hands on his coat, pushing.

"NO!" I yelled angrily. The Joker didn't even move, and I shook like a leaf, my eyes narrowed.

"No….I'll show you….I'm going to do something you would never do….help someone you would never help." The Joker tilted his head.

"No Julia, there is nothing you can do to stop this. That," he pointed to my face. "Is your mask. This," He grabbed his sleeve and wiped hard at his face, the scars coming into view, a deep pink, forever etched into his skin. "This is your real face. You can't uh escape it Julia." I starred at his scars. No. I wasn't just going to lie down and die, no….I needed to prove to him that I wasn't him….I was me. I was me right?

"You'll see." I hissed, my voice dripping with venom. "You'll see." I looked down at my hands. His hands. My vision went red, and I stepped away from the Joker. He didn't move, so I began to run. I ran along the pavement, wind biting at my cheeks, hair whipping wildly out behind me. There was no sound of feet behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder as I turned the corner, seeing the Joker still standing there, arms at his sides, watching. I turned the corner sharply and dodged a woman with a shopping cart, still sprinting as fast I could. _He'll see._

****

I walked down the alleyway, my hands shaking, my mouth set in a grim line. I was sick of sitting around waiting for information. I needed to do something. I stopped and leaned against the wall of the alleyway, watching the Gotham Police station from the shadows. I was clad in all black including gloves and had thrown a balaclava over my head. I felt extremely pathetic wearing what common crooks use, but the idea of face paint frightened me too much. I felt the tape recorder moving in my pocket as I walked. My plan was pretty much…..well I didn't have one. All that scheming and tactics had led to just working with the spur of the moment. It felt better that way, more free. Now, I just had to wait for a while till she came out and then….well I'd just have to see. But one thing was for sure, I was not leaving without that information. Batman was innocent and Gotham needed to know the truth.

Anna Ramirez was leaving the Gotham City Police department, walking along towards her car. She yawned tiredly and checked her watch. 1:14 AM. She sighed heavily. Her next shift was in seven hours. Anna reached her car and was trying to find her keys when she heard a whimpering for help along the alleyway. Not thinking straight, she made her way toward the noise, her hand on her gun.

"Hello?" She said loudly as she walked past a dumpster. Suddenly a figure jumped out in front of her and ripped the gun from her belt, cocked it, and aimed it at her head.

I grinned beneath my balaclava, my heart pumping with excitement. I felt so free, so alive. My mind whirled a mile a minute, and I gently pressed my knife to her neck, shivering with happiness when I felt her intake of breath. So far so good.

"Hello." I whispered, putting my voice down an octave. Ramirez looked at me with large brown eyes, trying to mask her fear. It was obvious she was uncomfortable. Keep focused, you know what you're here for, don't get carried away….

"Look, whoever you are, you can have my money." She said quietly, calmly. "There's no need to do something you'd regret." I snorted disdainfully.

"I don't want your _money_," I said, irritably. What did she think I was? "I want information." I whispered quietly. Ramirez looked at me in the eyes, then gave an involuntary shudder and looked away.

"What information could you possibly want?" She said just as quietly.

"I want to know who attacked you that night Batman 'apparently' killed five people." I hissed. "I want to know why you didn't die like the other traitor in the police." She starred at me, completely shocked, but careful to avoid my eyes.

"I don't know." She said. "It was dark I-I couldn't see clearly…" I shook my head, trying to stifle the giggles.

"No Anna, you lying." I said in a singsong voice. Where had I heard that before? "Lying is not going to help. You have a lovely mother don't you?" Anna stiffened and looked at me, hatred in her eyes. I grinned beneath my balaclava. I'd struck a nerve. It didn't even bother me, the pain in her eyes. She hadn't experienced what _I _had. "She looks just like you." I continued, going out on a limb. I didn't even know what her mother looked like.

"Don't you dare hurt her." Hissed Ramirez, glaring at me with pure unending hatred.

"Oh, I won't." I hissed, pressing the gun harder into her head, flicking open my switchblade. "Not if you tell me." She looked at me, torn. I had to get her to choose, fast.

"I could so easily change her meds." I whispered. "It'd be so easy, watching her face turn blue, or I could go in and shoot her, maybe even use this knife….."

"Fine!" whispered Ramirez, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. "Fine. I-I'll tell you." She took a deep breath to steady herself and I pressed the blade to her neck. A small cut was made, and I had to stop myself from gasping out loud. I starred at the trickle of blood. _I'd hurt her_. Ramirez hissed when the cut was made.

"It wasn't my fault!" She balled, and I raised my eyebrows at her sudden emotion. "I didn't know what they were going to do to them, I swear!"

"Who?" I pressed eagerly closing the knife and pressing the record button on the tape recorder. "Who?"

"Harvey Dent and R-Rachel Dawes." She whispered. "Wuetz and I brought them to the J-Joker, but if I'd known I wouldn't have done it!" She sniffed, tears running in rivers down her cheeks. "And then he-he came back." I shook Ramirez, adrenaline pumping through me, forgetting my promise not to hurt her. "Tell me." I hissed.

"Harvey Dent." She gasped. "He came and h-had this coin and his face was all burned on o-one side, and made me call Barbra to get her to go so he could take r-revenge on Gordon, and then he f-flipped his coin, and it landed on the unscarred side, so he hit me and l-left me there." Everything came out fast as she blubbered out the truth.

It all fit, it made sense…. Well the part about Batman being innocent at least. Batman took the blame for Harvey Dent, Batman didn't kill those people. He was innocent! Perfect.

I tapped Ramirez's head lightly with the gun.

"Now," I said softly. "You're not going to tell anyone about this right? Cause if you do, I'm going to be making a visit to the hospital." I knew I would never do that, I could never kill anyone, but Ramirez didn't. She didn't even know who I was.

"Your bruise has cleared up really nice from when you got slugged a couple of months ago." I said quietly, grinning beneath my balaclava. I eyed her brown coat. "But the colour brown doesn't really suit you. You're more of a black and blue kind of person." She looked at me, horrified, and I punched her hard across the face.

She fell and shrieked with pain. I starred down at her, saw the tears in her eyes, the fear surrounding her, taking over. It was so….refreshing. It made me feel so powerful, so defiant, so in control. I hit her again and grinned at her shriek of pain. It made me want more, so I started to hit her with both fists, while she tried to defend herself to no avail. Adrenaline was pumping through me, making me strong, powerful. Everything became blurry, and I stopped controlling my body.

Suddenly, her flailing stopped. My sight cleared, and I starred dizzily at Ramirez, lying on the ground, the gun in my hand, bloody at the handle. Her head looked bloody in one part, and I peered, trying to understand what had happened…..oh no. I recoiled and clutched at my stomach, fighting the bile rising in my throat. I'd hit her, with the handle of the gun, repeatedly. I stepped away and began to run, away from what I'd done, away from everything. I could distantly hear the voices of people coming to see what the commotion was about, and I ran even harder, gun clutched in my hand. _What had I done?_

**The idea to have the Joker follow Julia around was given to me by TooManyIdeas and I just want to give her a shout and tell her thanks! **

**I also ****just had a huge idea for this story, but it will involve a lot of changing so the next chapter may or may not take a while**

**I would love it if after you finish reading you all went to that button below the story and clicked it and left me a review! Thanks! I'll update soon!**

* * *


	20. Chapter 20 Waiting

**Hi everyone! So sorry for the long wait. Things just get so crazy in May and June.....but I have this chapter done and I'll post the next one on Saturday or Sunday. Well, thanks for all your reviews, they mean a lot and some prodding from a few of you actually got me back on track and forced me to get this chapter done and post it so thanks a lot!!!!**

**_Disclaimer: Do not own.....so don't sue please!_**

* * *

The next morning, Gotham Times received an anonymous tape. It included the confession of Anna Ramirez, what had really happened that night and that Batman was innocent. The station immediately informed Gotham that it was their White Knight, Harvey Dent who murdered those people.

Reporters swarmed the police station, trying to contact Commissioner Gordon, trying to make sense of the madness. Anna Ramirez however wasn't at the station, she was at the hospital in critical condition….apparently the doctors weren't sure if…if…if she'd make it.

All this I saw on the television. I hadn't left my house for two days, calling in sick to Gotham Times. I was probably going to lose my job after all the days I'd missed but I didn't care anymore. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I just sat on the floor of my apartment, shaking and replaying the events over and over again. I was in a trance**;** I barely even remember much of what happened.

I expected a visit from the Joker anytime**.** I knew that he'd know it was me from the beginning. All that talk to me at the park, and before….it was all to get me to do something I'd never done….and I had. I'd almost killed Ramirez….maybe she'd even….no I couldn't think of that. But, I'd done something the Joker had not thought of. I'd proved the Batman to be innocent. That was the only thing that kept me from breaking down and I continually reminded myself that I'd done good, that I could tell the Joker that and Batman would be pleased….he'd be so happy….

****

I heard the rustle of his cape before he even spoke, and a shiver went through my entire body. Will he thank me? Will he smile?

"Julia." He growled softly. I felt the cloth of his cape against my back and I stood on weak legs, turning coming face to face with him, the gun with the bloody handle still clutched in my hand. His eyes bored into me, cold and frightening, while I stood looking up at him, shivering uncontrollably. All thoughts of thanks flew out the window at that merciless glare.

"Why." He said, not in the form of a question and I cocked my head, seeing the weariness in his eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"Why did you give that information to Gotham Times?" I raised my eyebrows, pleased that he knew it was me. But why wasn't _he_ pleased?

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked. "I knew you were innocent…..aren't you happy people don't think you're a murderer? I made everything better."

"No." Batman hissed, his eyes venomous. "You made it worse." He stepped forward, fists clenched and I stepped farther away, frightened. I could hurt the Joker, but the figure I'd worshipped my entire life….I just couldn't. I knew exactly what Batman was capable of, unlike the Joker, but for some strange reason that made him all the more frightening.

"You've just undid everything." Batman continued, grinding his teeth. "The city was fine blaming me for the deaths, but Harvey Dent? Gotham's White Knight?By letting the entire city know, you've helped the Joker…..sent his point across that everyone is corruptible." I shook my head. What was he talking about? I'd helped, I hadn't hurt!! "By doing this….you've shown every citizen in Gotham that no one can resist the Joker and his corruption**.**"I continued to back away, shaking like a leaf.

"I thought I was….helping…" I whispered. The Batman shook his head, his rage mounting.

"You _thought_?" He hissed. "You've brought the city to the Joker's knees. There be anyone who'll stand up to him now." Batman stopped suddenly, shaking with rage and abruptly turned to get away from me.

"I'll stand up to him." Batman pivoted and fixed me with a glare of contempt.

"You? I saw Anna Ramirez Julia." I frowned.

"That wasn't me! It wasn't my fault! I couldn't control my emotions I…"

"Almost killed her." Batman interrupted, finally getting his temper in control. "For all I know she could be dead right now." I brought the gun up to his chest.

"Don't say that!" I yelled furiously. "I didn't mean to! You know that wasn't me!" Batman eyed the gun in my hand, his rage overtaking him again.

"You keep saying this isn't you but I don't see anything else What you've done….." He trailed off and I glared at him.

"I worked really hard for this information." I hissed venomously. "You know I've helped you, you're just too pigheaded and cocky to admit that you needed it." I could see surprise under Batman's cowl, and he glanced at the gun in my hand furiously.

"What about Ramirez?" He asked.

"What about her!" I replied angrily. I just couldn't believe he wasn't thankful. He should be overjoyed. "To do good you have to make sacrifices, you beat people within an inch of their life all the time." Batman staggered backwards, my words hitting him full on. I grinned happily. That'll teach him for not thanking me.

"That's different." He replied haltingly. "They deserve it, it's only for the good of Gotham…" I giggled happily.

"And Ramirez_ didn't_ hand over Rachel Dawes and Harvey Dent to the Joker?" I replied smoothly. "I also did this for the good of Gotham….for the good of you." I looked up at him, trying to get him to understand, trying to show the adoration I had for this amazing figure. "I only did it for you." I said quietly, while Batman stared at me, stony eyed. "I only did it to make everything better…"

"Only it wasn't your place to do so." Said Batman.

"Of course it was!" I replied scathingly. "I'm a citizen of Gotham; I care about the people and…" I glanced at Batman and saw the mistrust in his eyes, the way he looked at me….he thought me to be a criminal. He didn't trust me or believe in me.

"I'm on your side." I said quietly. "I'm here to help." Batman shook his head slowly.

"Julia….I don't believe that anymore…I think you really are turning into the J—" I roared with fury, dropping the gun and coming at him with my knife.

"No!" I screamed, raising the knife. It wasn't true. It wasn't true.

Batman reacted with amazing speed, stepping out of the way and grabbing the knife from my hand swiveling me around to hit the floor, not before I slid the other knife, tucked in my sleeve and stuck it into his arm, right between the plates. I hit the ground with a thud and the knife also clattered to the ground, after a hiss of pain from Batman. He stood over me, breathing heavily,eyes hard as ice.

"You know what I said about you being different from him? Your not. I heard that tape, Anna Ramirez sobbing. And what you just did now…. That's all him." I shook my head weakly. _Please, don't say it…I can't take it…not from you…_

"Don't…please…" I whispered. Batman looked at me with disgust, his rage overpowering.

"You're**"** just like him Julia." He growled furiously. Then, he turned and climbed out the open window, disappearing like a dream…..a nightmare.

Why did he have to say it? A tear, a small pearly tear fell from my eye. I never cried anymore, not even after I hurt Ramirez. But for my hero to say those five words….it was like stabbing me in the heart.

*****

After the third day of staying in my apartment, William showed up. I tried to ignore his frequent poundings on the door, but when he threatened to get the police, I groaned and made my way cautiously, making sure to kick the gun under the couch. I opened the door and William barreled in, almost knocking me off my feet. He stormed around the apartment, looking under the couch and into the bathroom. It was then that I realized he held a bat in his hand.

"William!" I shouted, startled. "What are you doing?" He turned came over in two long strides, grabbing me in a bear hug. His fingers ran up and down my arms and he held me at arm's length to look me over.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. "I've been calling your house and you haven't been answering. No one has seen you for three days." I nodded my head, overwhelmed by his emotions.

"Yeah, I just was feeling really sick." I replied as calmly as I could. William made a face at me and brought me over to the couch. He sat me down and put the bat on the floor, to my relief. Then he sat beside me and glared.

"Why do you keep lying to me Julia?" He said, frustrated. I raised my eyebrows. I'd lied to him every day since I'd met him and now he was pointing it out?

"What?" I asked. "I'm not lying about anything."

"There you go again," Said William tiredly. "Everything out of your mouth is a lie. I've been with you for everything, been nice when you snapped at me and ignored me. You've treated me like your dog and I haven't said one word." I looked at his blue eyes and said nothing. He made a face and continued.

"I'm sick of this. I'm sick of always trying to be there for you and being pushed away again and again." He grabbed my hand and I pulled it away, catching a glimpse at his broken face before he hid it away. He leaned in, eyes smoldering.

"You can trust me Julia. I care about you and I want to know what's going on. I want to help." I sighed wearily.

"No one can help me William. Things are changing; I'm not the same person I was when I first met you." William huffed and stood.

"Why can't you just understand that I don't care if you're different, if you're 'changing'?" He said furiously. "I want you to be happy and safe Julia and whatever is happening with you is eating you up inside. I want to be there for you but how can I do that if you refuse to let me in?" He turned and walked towards the door and I fought with myself. I couldn't let him leave me; I needed him to be there: needed him to keep the sanity inside me.

"William." I said quietly. He turned and looked at me with hope. I opened my mouth to tell him that he was important to me, that I was sorry for lying, for everything. But I couldn't. Julia would have done that…..but I wasn't Julia any more, I was someone completely different.

"Yes?" He asked, looking like a puppy dog begging for a treat. I sat back down.

"I…uh….here's your bat." I replied. William just stared, grabbed the bat from my hands, then turned and abruptly left the room. It was only then that I put my face in my hands and willed myself to cry, to feel anything. I felt empty, a clam licked clean by a raccoon, nothing left but the shell. I slithered off the couch and sat on the ground, feeling awful. I brought the gun out from under the couch and looked at it. It was a nice looking revolver, sleek, with a mahogany handle….perfect in so many ways except for the small dent on the handle and dried blood from Ramirez's head. I placed it on the carpet and grimaced. I so wanted to go after William, like one of those cheesy movies when he turns around and smiles….and we hug and its all okay.

The funny thing was though….this was no movie. This was real and I'd almost killed someone. I'd forced this city to its knees. I'd shunned the one person still on my side. I'd screwed everything up in just a few days. And the worst part was…

I couldn't change anything.

I stood and picked the gun up, brought it into the bathroom and washed the blood off it. Then, I walked into my bedroom and collapsed onto the bed. Things were changing and I better start rolling with it or I'd get crushed. I had to stay ahead of the curve if I wanted to survive. Batman was wrong, I'd helped…..right? I grimaced and nodded firmly.

What about William?

_Screw him_. I nodded again and rolled over getting myself comfortable.

_You don't mean that._ I shook my head furiously. I wasn't in the mood for mind games with myself. But those voices kept on talking.

_Yes I do. Friends only make you weaker, they keep you down._

_Do you know who said that to you? _

_I don't care._

_It was the Joker_. My other voice said nothing and I shook all over. Was William keeping me from becoming like the Joker? Was that really all it took? I was running out of lifelines and I wanted them back. Most were dead, like my mother, and Batman…well I just wasn't going to think about him.

I needed William. It was a horrible fact, but without him I was heading right down the deep and dark path of insanity, and I wasn't sure if when there, I'd be able to escape.

* * *

**Please review and keep your eyes open for the next chapter!!!**

**Thanks a bunch to my beta reader TooManyIdeas!**

* * *


	21. Chapter 21 Rock Bottom

**Hi! I feel absolutly horrible, and I'd just like to clarify that I'd still writing this story I just have so much going on right now (who doesn't?) that I've barely had enough time to think, let alone write! Anyway, here is a nice long chapter that hopefully isn't going to make any of you angry with me...I hope! Please keep on reviewing, it means a lot to me and enjoy!**

**_Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING...except for non DC characters...please don't sue!_**

The next day I was back to work and I had a horrible feeling that my job at Gotham Times wasn't as permanent as I thought. I was still doing jobs but my many absences had begun to affect my work. It was just the way the rest of the employees looked at me, with pity, curiosity and caution… none of those expressions were good.

The only good thing was that William surprisingly forgave me; he showed up at my office in the morning a smile on his face and two cups of coffee saying it was all his fault. The second he said that, I knew that William had some serious issues. He was like a little puppy, beaten and hurt, but still returning to its master….me. He pretty much fell to the ground and kissed my feet, asking for forgiveness. William wanted us to go back to the way it was before and I said okay, even though there was no way that would be happening. He acted differently with me; he didn't smile as much and slumped his shoulders. I had also caught him in my office when I wasn't there, digging through my drawers. I made no comment on this, for I truly didn't want him to leave forever, but I was getting nervous.

Gotham city was in an uproar and many criminals, including the Joker fought to grab the reins of the wild horse and take control. The only good thing out of this was that the police were no longer chasing the Batman around and the Dark Knight prowled around the city at night, bringing in criminal after criminal. But, something that became clear was that the Batman was only human, and his enemies knew it. He was tiring, he couldn't do it alone.

I hadn't seen the Joker for a week, but he wasn't the person who concerned me. I checked daily on Anna Ramirez's condition, and she wasn't getting better. Her head had been severely damaged by the gun and she was fighting a loosing battle. The police department had been trying to find who attacked her, but soon had to abandon the search for the criminals that were controlling the city.

I myself was getting ready for anything. Batman considered me to be a criminal and William was snooping around in my desks. I didn't think either of them would rat me out, but my suspicious behavior had triggered other reactions. Marissa was constantly asking me to go out with her, and would pester me with all sorts of questions. She questioned me about the holes in my wall from the knives, and had asked about the noises coming from my apartment at night. I had a horrible feeling that Marissa wouldn't be able to keep her big mouth shut with a secret this. Something like this would put her in the limelight, and once that happened…..all chaos would break loose.

****

A few days after I came back to work I was called down to Ms. Jones office. She nodded at me, and I copied her movement, dreading the feeling in my gut.

"Sit down Julia." She said shortly, but the look in her eye was pitiful. This was not good. I sat and she eyed me, briskly organizing the files on her desk.

"Julia…." She began hesitantly. "… things have been very difficult at the station in the last couple of days." I nodded. "And over the last couple of months you have displayed excellent writing skills but have been absent very frequently. We at Gotham Times need people who are able to dedicate themselves to their work and though you have had a tough time since you got here…." I slumped into my chair. "….I think it would be best if took some time off work and got everything in order." I raised my eyebrows.

"You mean permanently." I replied coldly. It was only a matter of time. Ms. Jones fidgeted awkwardly under my gaze and I grinned on the inside. I could even make Ms. Jones flinch.

"No….well yes. You see it is evident that you are not well of health even before you were uh….taken hostage. A source revealed to me that you yelled and threatened the commissioner and sometimes noises have been coming from your apartment some nights, like yelling and something that sounds like knives being thrown." Ms. Jones got herself under control and clasped her hands together. I however leaned in closer to hear more about this "source" but was disappointed. "I'm sorry Julia, but I think it would be best if you went and got some medical help. These last few months have been very strenuous for you and we just can't afford…."

"Can it." I interrupted, picking at one of my fingernails. "I'm fired, that's what you're telling me. You don't have to be kind or worried for my safety." I leaned in closer to Ms. Jones and she eyed me cautiously. "In my 'sane' opinion-and I am perfectly fine- you should be more worried for the safety of that 'source' yours." Ms. Jones gave me disbelieving look and I smirked. "Oh, don't believe me do you? Well, then maybe you should be more scared of your own safety. In fact, I'd hightail it out of here if I were you." Ms. Jones face turned white, but she placed her hand on the phone.

"Listen Julia. I'm sorry, I will call security but…if you calm down we can get your stuff I'll bring you to someone who can help you okay?" I laughed at her and stood, then swept all of her stuff off her desk and onto the floor with my hands.

I turned and walked towards the door, fighting to keep in the rage inside of me. I heard Ms. Jones pick up the phone before I left and I picked up the pace towards my office. I only had a few minutes until some sort of beefy man showed up and dragged me away to the freaking funny farm: I needed to move fast. I threw open my door and started throwing things that I needed into my bag. I then turned to go out the door but saw Marissa standing there, with William right behind her. I eyed them both then heard the heavy footsteps along the hallway.

_Oh no, sorry but there is no way I'm going to the loony bin._

I glanced at William then fixated my eyes on Marissa, I couldn't stand his confused face.

"Julia." Marissa said calmingly, her eyes watching me, calculating my every move. I smirked at her and pulled out one of my knives from my boots.

"Get out of the way rat." I snarled at her. "I did nothing to you, yet you told Ms. Jones everything."

"I was worried about you." Said Marissa cautiously, eyeing the knife. I laughed. _Liar._ She was just using me as a big stepping stone, a way for her to get famous or whatever she has going on in her bottle blonde head.

"Move before I stick this in-between your lying lips." I replied. Marissa didn't move and I lunged forwards, brandishing the knife, but slipping it into my shirt before I hit her, so I could just push her into a dumbstruck William who then fell into the security guard. I flew out of my office and down the hall, into the fire escape and out the back doors, then down the street, as fast as I could.

*****

My door slammed open with a bang and I stormed inside and into my room to grab some clothes for my bag. It was only until I was picking up my extra knives to put in the duffel bag that I realized the Joker was sitting on my couch, observing me like one would look at a television. I glanced at him and my heart sank. He grinned and straightened.

"So….going on a trip?" He asked mockingly, eyes on my duffel mag. I glared at him and continued stuffing food and clothes into the duffel bag.

"More like moving." I replied coolly. "There's going to be some people hear in a few minutes and I'd advise you to leave if you don't want this to get out."

"Why wouldn't I want to get _this_ out?" Came the reply. I turned and starred at him. It felt like my eyes were popping out of my head.

"You….you wouldn't want everyone to know your name." I said quickly, watching for his reaction. His eyes darkened briefly then lightened.

"Sweetheart, when they come in here and I'm uh on your couch no one is going to be asking for my real name. They won't get it anyway. You'd never tell any of them right?" I shivered.

"But then you can't hurt them right? They're the only reason I wouldn't tell." The Joker stiffened and his eyes burrowed into mine.

"Fine." He said, frustrated. Then, he smiled. "That is much better sweetheart. Then, they can run like the uh wind and tell all of Gotham _your_ little secret." I stared at him and he smirked gleefully. I crammed my wallet into my bag, then slung it over my shoulder and marched across the room, coming to a stop right in front of his chest. I glared up at him, while he watched me impassively.

"Get out." I hissed. He shook his head, stretching his scars with a demented grin.

"Sweetheart, I'm not gonna budge, you may as well park it and wait till your uh 'friends' get here." I didn't move, just starred into his black soulless eyes. "You know….I never did uh thank you for spilling out Bat-Boy's secret."

"Why would you want to thank me for that?" I hissed. "I didn't do it for you."

"Of course you didn't. No, you did it for Guano-Man….but from your recent uh meeting with him he didn't seem so happy hmm?" I tensed.

"He doesn't understand…." I started furiously, then sighed. "No one understands." I whispered softly. The Joker grabbed my shoulders, his nails digging into my jacket, and held me tight. His eyes starred blankly at mine.

"I understand Julia. I'm the only one who understands. People just don't…..get it. They don't understand what you're trying to do hmm?" I nodded slowly, my arms going numb from his grip.

"Yes." I whispered softly, awed. Could he really understand the pain and separation from everyone else that I was feeling? "I try to help, I try to do things but they never understand…..it's like I'm different then everyone else…"

"You are different." The Joker hissed, his eyes burning. "We are both different then them all."

"It's like I'm not even human…" I whispered.

"You don't feel the same as they do…" The Joker eyes looked past me, to something I couldn't see, and his nails dug in even farther.

"I feel empty…."

"Soulless."

"They don't get it." The Jokers eyes widened and his lips curled into a snarl.

"You try and try to get people to understand….but they just don't get the punch line." His eyes looked into mine, and for once I saw something there….a faint glimmer in the darkness. There was a loud thumping on the door and I stifled a gasp.

"Miss Samuels!" Yelled a voice from behind my door. The Joker moved instantly, his eyes dark as ever, grabbing my shoulders and turning me around so my back was against his chest.

"Miss Samuels open the door!" Yelled the male voice. "We're not going to hurt you, but come with us before you hurt yourself!" The Joker arms snaked around to hold me tight, his excited breathing tickling my ear. The door fell with a resounding crash and a young police officer, Marissa, and William burst into the room, stopping instantly when they saw the situation in front of them. The officer took one look at the Joker and fainted instantly.

_Some cop._

"Hellloo." The Joker drawled. "You know it's rude to burst in to peoples homes……" William starred in shock and made to run towards us, but the Joker pulled a knife up to my neck.

"Ah ah ah camera boy…..we don't want to uh stain the carpet." Marissa pushed past the cop, who looked like he was going to faint. The Joker pressed the blade into my skin and I hissed. But Marissa didn't react to this; she starred hard at the both of us and opened her mouth.

"You're not going to hurt her." She said, looking at the Joker. I couldn't see his face, but I heard him laugh.

"Would you like to test that theory hmm?" He replied. Marissa shrank back from his stare but continued.

"Okay…but…... I know you're not going to hurt her."

"And why is that?"

"Because she's….." Marissa took a big breath and her eyes flickered to me. "She's…your daughter." The Jokers grip slackened and I brought my arm back and elbowed him in the stomach, stepping to the side. I slid a knife out of my boot, but before I could turn to the Joker I heard the click of a gun and stopped. The Joker grinned at me while I sent him a vicious glare, and his eyes flicked back towards where Marissa, and William stood, both of them looking scared out of their minds.

"Now what were you saying beautiful? Sweetheart here my daughter?" He laughed and glanced at me. I simply starred at him, trying to plead with my eyes.

_Please don't. Don't do it. It'll ruin everything, my life will be over I'll…_

"Your right." Everyone stood around looking at the Joker for a few seconds. I could hear my world collapse at my feet, my soul break into a thousand pieces. Would they believe it? Then William spoke.

"You're lying." He whispered, face filled with pain. The Joker looked incredulously at him.

"Blondie said it not uh me. I'm just uh clarifying it." William's blue eyes turned to me.

"Is it true?" He whispered softly.

"Why should it matter?" I hissed back, inching towards the window.

"It matters because I was right." Marissa said gleefully, forgetful of the fact that she was in a room with a psychotic killer. "I checked up on your birth records and it said you didn't have a father in the first place. Of course that made no sense and after you got kidnapped and then randomly survived it everything just fitted together." I glanced at the Joker and saw he was grinning, just like me. How the hell is who says "random" so smart?

"The holes in the wall, the yelling at night, the reason you're still alive from being kidnapped. It all made sense." Continued Marissa, eyes shining with the prospects of this discovery. "And, when I compared your photos, you looked exactly alike." I frowned at her.

"Now, that's going a bit far Barbie." I hissed venomously. She took a step back, slightly taken aback by my comment. "I do **not** look like him. He can go to hell for all I care." I inched farther towards the window, but the Joker grabbed me and put the gun to my head.

"I think you are alllll forgetting what kind of situation you are in hmm?" He drawled, chuckling in my ear. "Now….yes Julia here is my one and only child." His voice dripped with sarcasm and he let out dramatic sigh. He let me go and I turned to see him point the gun at Marissa.

"So go and tell the whole entire world Blondie. Just remember to lock your doors at night; you uh never know who will drop in." Marissa paled, but I knew she'd still tell. I should have been more attentive to her expensive tastes and the way she looked when on camera. She _loved_ the spotlight.

The Joker moved towards the window, pointing the gun at me when I tried to follow.

"Your not going to leave me here are you?" I asked; desperation in my voice. The Joker stretched his scars into a grin from hell.

"Of course not sweetheart…..I'm going to leave you here uh….with this." He aimed the gun at the past out cop on the ground, fired, splattering the mans head open. Marissa screamed and the Joker grinned then threw me the gun and I caught it with shaking hands.

"Being the daughter of the Clown Prince of Crime means you need to live up to the name hmm?" The Joker said mockingly, a tilt to his head. "That's why I've decided to let your little friends live, and uh…..see if you'll go with them to the loony bin or….." The Joker made a slashing noise across his neck, and then climbed out the window. Just before he dropped onto the fire escape his eyes locked onto mine.

"Oh yes, have you heard about Anna Ramirez sweetheart? This morning…..she uh died." He let go of the window ledge and disappeared onto the fire escape, his laughter echoing off the walls.

_She died._

I'd killed her.

I was a murderer.

I slowly turned to where Marissa and William stood, watching me with surprise and …..fear? I looked at William, his face was filled with pain. I'd stabbed him in the heart, then pulled it out and crushed it into a million pieces. This had all happened because of me….but right now all I could feel was horror. Ramirez was dead, gone forever. I looked down to where the gun sat in my hand. I'd already killed once, could I kill again. I glanced towards Marissa, whose smug look had faded to fear and caution.

"Why did you have to do it?" I whispered softly. "Do you know what you've done? Its over, I'll be dead in a month."

"No, you won't." She said, her voice wavering. "Come with us and this nice officer here. We'll take you to a place where you're safe okay?" Her voice was patronizing and I laughed, cocking the gun. It felt nice.

"When hell freezes over." I hissed. I'd killed someone already, would it matter if I killed some more?

"Fine." Marissa pulled the gun out of the officer's belt and held it in front of her, her manicured nails clasping it, completely wrong. I smiled. It would be so easy.

_Don't do it._

Suddenly there was a loud thud and she fell to the ground, William behind her, clutching a pan in his hand.

"You really like doing that don't you?" I laughed, amused.

"Jules." I looked at William. "You can fight this." He said quietly. "You can just start over, deny everything." He stepped over Marissa and I didn't move, just stayed with the gun cocked. He gently took my hands in his, and the gun dropped to the floor. My eyes stayed focused on his, never leaving them.

"Fight it Julia." He whispered. "Tell me it's not true. Tell everyone it's not true." I pulled back and stepped away from him.

"The thing is William." I said, while he starred. "It is true." William shook his head.

"No. I don't believe it. You're deluded you don't know what you're saying…"

"Look at my face William!" I shouted, angry now. He was making this harder then it was supposed to be. "Look at my eyes!" William starred at me face, then his eyes widened. I went to pick the gun off the floor, but he got there first and pointed it at me. I simply shook my head, fighting back the emotion. Why was this so hard?

"I'm sorry." I whispered trying to come closer to him. He stepped away.

"Stay back!" He shouted, eyes wild. But I didn't. I walked right up to him and kissed him hard. He tasted sweet, and wonderful, and for a few moments everything felt fine. He kissed me back just as passionately, arms around me, crushing me with his love. He smelt just like I'd always imagined, of peppermint and coffee beans. It was one of the best moments of my life, I finally felt at peace. But the thing is, it didn't feel right anymore.

I didn't deserve it.

I grabbed the gun from his hand and hit him hard on the back of the head. He fell to the ground and I stepped away, pocketing the gun. I grabbed my duffel bag and stepped over the unconscious bodies on the ground, to where Marissa was in a crumpled heap. I held the gun loosely in my hand.

_Kill her._

I glanced to where William lay, breathing softly. I owed it to him, to fight this with my last breath. Killing Marissa was something I couldn't do.

_No._

I walked over and knelt down, brushed his hair from his pale face.

I'd hurt him so much, let him love me, but never showed him how much I cared. I couldn't tell him or show him……I wasn't just a murderer, I was a torturer. I pressed my lips to his, then stood and walked out my broken down doors, out on to the street and down one of the alleyways.

This was what rock bottom was. Now, I had no one left. It was just me, me and the rest of the world in front of me. After twenty minutes of walking, I sat on the dirty ground and put my face in my hands.

_What do we do now?_

_No fucking clue. _

* * *

**So, yeah a lot has happened in this chapter and I honestly can't say where we are in this story. It could end soon....or not. It really all depends. With Marissa, I had someone comment on how they don't like overly happy people, they find them too suspicious...so I just thought she'd work in this position.**

**Anyway please review and tell me what you think of it! You guys are awesome!**

* * *


	22. Chapter 22 Promises

**Hi everyone! Man, it has been a busy couple of weeks, but to celebrate the final end of stupid exams and school I have decided to post this long and probably one of my all time favorite chapters!!! I really hope you all like this one, it is my favorite so far, and thanks a bunch for everyone that is sticking with this story! The next one will be up SOON. Dont worry.**

**_Disclaimer: Do not own....don't sue......_**

* * *

After a couple hours of wandering aimlessly through Gotham, I realized that I was in the Narrows. No one paid me any attention, even though I held a gun in one hand, they all went about their business hurrying along the dirty and littered street. The homeless were everywhere I could see and more then once I looked down an alleyway and saw someone getting mugged. Soon, I reached the docks and I stood on the rotting wood, looking out across the water, trying to get my thoughts in order, trying to overcome the emotions boiling around. My mouth still tingled from Williams kiss, I wanted desperately to go back there and just…no. I wasn't on the most wanted list but if I just waltzed into my apartment I'd get a one way ticket to the loony bin since according to every single idiot in the world I was crazy. I wasn't.

_Then prove it, let's do something productive here._

_Fine._

I turned from the water and headed towards the warehouses. With luck, I'd be able to find a good place to remain hidden for a couple days, there was no way I could think with my mind like this. After about a half an hour and three warehouses later I went inside an old clothing manufacturing plant. I skipped the basement and offices on the first two floors, they were all windows. The third floor was no better and I walked out onto the fire escape, my hopes dashed. That's when I noticed the ladder above the fire escape. At the very top, there was one little window. I reached up and grabbed at the ladder, using the railing to pull myself up. I bounced a bit, testing how sturdy it was, then climbed up, duffel bag slung across my shoulders. The window was locked, so I broke the glass, reached in and flipped the lock, sliding it up and climbing inside.

The room was small, with only two other windows and a desk with a hole in it. I also found a small adjacent bathroom, which surprisingly had a working toilet, but not a working sink and the shower? Cold. I smiled gleefully. This was more then I could ever expect. I dropped the duffel bag on to the dusty ground and climbed back out the window. I had some shopping to do.

****

Later that evening I lay sprawled out on a bed of blankets, a few candles lighting up the otherwise dark room. I'd covered the windows with blankets, but the air was surprisingly cold, even for late March. I pulled the scratchy fabric around me, looking through the books I'd bought at the store. I'd also gotten the newspaper, which I scanned every page. I had bags and bags of things I had bought, anything I could think of. I'd also emptied my bank account which was in my coat. I had enough food here to last me a few weeks, which was more then enough time to decide.

I considered leaving Gotham, but for some strange reason, it didn't feel right. What did I have outside of this city? I rummaged through my bag and frowned. I'd left all of my journals at the apartment. That frustrated me, since they were full of private thoughts and feelings, those little drawings had meant the world to me when I was little. There had been so many times I'd poured over those little papered books, dumping everything into those ink stained papers. I lay back down and closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep. I couldn't. I had never felt so clueless in my life. I had absolutely no idea of what I was going to do. There was nothing for me out of Gotham, no family or friends or any goals. I had no objectives, no ideas, no wishes. Wait… I did I'd just never though about it.

I wanted Batman to understand me, I wanted him to know who I really was.

I wanted William. My entire body did. I needed him, I needed his smile, his smell, his voice.

And…I wanted something else. I wanted the Joker dead his guts spilled out on the floor I wanted…wait…I wanted…

_a father, one with…_

_**Blood spilt on the floor his…**_

_Eyes filled with love and caring to hear…_

_**His pleas for mercy his arms…**_

_Around me in a tight embrace, his lips…_

_**Cut from his face bleeding with…**_

_His love for me and…_

I pressed my face into the blankets shaking it furiously.

_SHUT UP __**SHUT UP!**_

Then, I giggled. Man, I was more messed up then I thought! I sat up and grabbed one of the books, tearing out the blank pages at the end. Then, I lay on my stomach and spread out, taking from the crayons I'd bought my favorite colors; black, red, and a very dark purple. Then, my tongue sticking out a bit, just like when I was a kid; I began to draw.

*****

The sun was just starting to rise when I had used up a whole pad of paper, 192 pages. The pictures were spread out around me and I grinned, going into my bag for something to put them up on the walls.

A little bit later and around 192 tacs later, pieces of paper covered the walls, the bright and harsh colours standing out. Everything was mixed together, conflicting thoughts meshing. There were pictures of bloody Joker corpses, a mimic of what he did to my mother, more then enough of some brilliant ideas…

And yet somehow I'd drawn pictures like I did when I was little, the ice cream, the stories, the tucking in, the hugs, the "I love you's" from my father. These were drawn more childlike, not like my sketches. I surveyed the walls of the room, meticulously running my hands along each paper. I past pictures of the dead and screaming Jokers, many with a frown on his stupid face, the child pictures, Batman and me, Batman with blood spilling out of his cowl, me and Batman above Gotham and…something completely different.

My mother, sketched just like she looked, her blue eyes lit up. William, his face bright and happy…and then more black, more red…and more red. I walked over to one of the windows and peeled back the blanket. The sun was out, but I wasn't leaving here today. Not yet. I walked back and opened another box of crayons. I had some more colouring to do.

I didn't sleep all day or the next, yet for some reason, I wasn't tired. In the whole week I was cooped up in that warehouse, I maybe slept for twenty hours at the most. When the moon was finally up, a week after the confrontation in my apartment, I got myself ready. I took my scissors I'd bought and cut off my long hair, the pieces falling to the ground, leaving me with hair coming to a stop at my collarbone. It was wet when I was done and one look into the cracked and dented mirror almost sent me against the wall. The resemblance now between me and the Joker was uncanny. I made a face and tried to do something about my bangs to make a difference.

An hour or two later I checked myself over in the mirror. My dirty blonde hair now had shaggy bangs which almost covered my eyes, my hair still as curly as ever but not as puffy. I'd applied heavy eyeliner and mascara to my eyes and made my lips as red as could be. I wore my dark purple boots and black tights, as well as a deep purple almost black peacoat. I didn't look like Julia anymore, not weak, emotional Julia…I was someone completely different. Some other person. I looked sleek, I looked…good. I grinned at my reflection and walked back into the little room, climbing out that window. I breathed in the night air, quite warm for April. I climbed down the fire escape and exited the old warehouse, my boots soundless against the ground.

Get ready Gotham.

****

First thing I did was grab a paper and flip through it. Apparently, I'd missed a lot in that week I'd stayed in the warehouse. I'd heard the noises from my window; the Joker had attempted another assassination of the mayor, but had ended up blowing up a whole street of Gotham and then kidnapping and killing his daughter, broadcasting the entire bloody death on video to all of Gotham. There was a picture of me in the back with the police notices and I was glad to say that I didn't look at all the same. The best part was that there was no information about my relations to anyone, which meant that the police had paid off Marissa to not squeal. We'll see how long that lasts.

I threw the newspaper on the ground and continued walking through the Narrows, looking through my bangs with curious eyes. A car sped past me, the police cars following it, and gun shots rang through the night as a man leaned out of the car shooting at the police cars. Then, they were gone, as quickly as they had come. I continued walking, simply glad to be out of that warehouse.

It was strange now, walking without a purpose, going who knows where, no idea what to do. All those pictures I'd drawn had given me something to do for the week, but now I was just there without reason. I spotted a bar and walked into it, sitting down at the counter. Best part about the Narrows was they didn't even ask for ID, anyone who could survive there was already old beyond their years. I bought a beer, something I usually don't do. Drinking and smoking wasn't my kind of thing. Smoking made you dependent and that freaked me out and drinking altered your senses. I watched the people around, intrigued. I could see members of the mob, more then a few goons, hookers mixed in with the crowd…and everyone was drunk. A man caught my eye and he stood to make his way over to me. I smirked and downed the rest of the beer.

"Hey there beautiful how about you and me maybe go into the back room huh?" He slurred, his eyes red and puffy. I hit the beer bottle against the counter and put it out in front of me, now broken and jagged.

"I wouldn't it I was you." I said coolly I'd considered grabbing a knife, but this would be waay more fun. He grinned and raised his eyebrows.

"I like em feisty," he growled, reaching his hand to grab my breast. I laughed gleefully and brought the bottle on his hand, driving the glass into his skin. He howled with pain and blood spurted from the wounds as he clawed at his hand, trying to tear the glass out. I stood and left the bar, back into the night. Maybe having no purpose would be more fun then I thought.

Soon, I reached the near end of the narrows and paused by the park. Inside I could see a big top being lifted off the ground and elephants being led into a makeshift stable.

The circus.

I smiled and walked into the park, leaning against a tree to watch the goings on. It was relaxing almost, to watch the well thought out assembly of the circus, people bustling around. You hardly ever saw circuses like this anymore, but here it was in all its glory. I was so absorbed in the goings on that I didn't know someone was standing beside me until I heard him speak.

"Haven't seen a circus in a while huh?" I turned to see who the speaker was. He had shaggy brown hair, covering his chocolate brown eyes. His face was chiseled and he had a bit of a beard on his face. He wore simple clothes and was just a tiny bit taller than me, about six feet. I eyed him calculatively and he gave me a crooked and brooding smile. "You going to answer me?" He chuckled.

"My mother told me not to talk to strangers." I replied coolly, turning and walking away from him. I heard his footsteps as he followed. I got one of my knives ready. But, he didn't try to attack me or grab me he just laughed.

"Well you did talk to me right? Doesn't that kind of destroy what you're trying to say?" I turned around and aimed the knife, throwing it so it hit the tree behind this idiotic man, just above his head. His eyes widened, but not from fear from excitement.

"That's a pretty good throw you have there darling." He said. "We're you trying to miss?" I glared at him.

"No." I lied. "I just have a bad throw." Truth was, I kind of didn't want to hurt this flirtatious man. He was interesting. He obviously didn't believe me.

"Sure princess." He mocked smugly. "Hit me then, right here." He spread his legs far apart and pointed to his chest. I pulled another knife out of my boot and threw it, as well as one in my sleeve. They both flew right below his arms, one flying into a park bench, the other into a garbage can. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Just bad luck?" He asked mockingly.

"Yes." I hissed, thoroughly irritated. "And so is this," I withdrew another knife and threw, "and this," I threw my switchblade and it thudded into the tree. "But with this," I drew the gun out of my coat. "Its really hard to miss." He didn't even flinch just looked at me appraisingly. "How many knives do you have?" He asked curiously.

"You don't want to know." I replied, trying to keep my temper down. If I shot him I'd clearly regret it. He cocked his eyebrow at me and I realized how good looking he was. You could see the muscles bulging underneath his dirty shirt. He caught me looking and grinned smugly.

"Take a picture darling, it will last longer." He smirked and held out his hand. "My names David."

"Wasn't asking." I replied cocking my own eyebrow and ignoring his hand. He brought his hand back.

"Ouch!" He said, clutching his flashing and flashing a devilish smile. "Frost-bite from the ice-princess! That was harsh." He started to walk towards me and I cocked the gun.

"Don't even think about it." I growled furiously. He stopped instantly and leaned against one of the trees.

"Listen here darling, I don't mean you any harm. But, if you're looking for a job and a place to stay, the circus would be open to you. We need a new sword thrower; our old one is leaving soon. How about it?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"I have more important things to do."

"Doesn't look like it." I huffed and walked past him to get my knives back. I turned back to him and he smirked. "Just think about it okay?"

"Why are you asking me this? You don't even know me, I could be a murderer, a wanted criminal." His face suddenly became solemn.

"You think we care? We're circus folk, all of us are criminals. We just take who has talent and…you have talent." He turned and walked back towards the circus, his hands in his pockets, strutting like he knew how attractive he was. I slid my knives back into my boots and watched him leave. I suddenly had a flush of feelings for William and I dug one of my knives into a nearby tree. It never seemed to go away. I walked out of the park and out of the Narrows, down the streets of Gotham. I didn't know where I was going my feet led the way. Then, I saw the apartment building. Williams.

I eyed the fire escape. That would do.

Williams window was unlocked and I climbed inside, as quietly as possible. I could see him asleep on the couch but a whole brigade of police cars raced past the apartment, blaring their sirens and he shot off his couch startled, then shook his head, smiling a bit. Then he saw me. His face registered a billion different emotions, shock, horror, relief, joy.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" He asked, his face searching mine to try to see me behind my disguise. It frustrated that he knew me even with the disguise on.

"I don't know." I replied. I slipped off my boots and began to pull the knives out of my peacoat, one by one. William watched with his beautiful wide blue eyes while I continued to stare at him. He wasn't as attractive as the carnie, but he was _mine_. His hair was tousled as always, his long arms dangling at his sides. And those eyes. I wished I could just yank them out of his head and use them as earrings….no, fight it back. The only way it will work.

I pulled the last knife, my little pocket knife out of my pocket and placed it on the ground. Then, I stood and looked at him. Now that the knives were gone, I felt different… like Julia.

"Do you have a cloth?" I whispered. He nodded, still shocked and tripped his way into the kitchen, grabbing a wet cloth from the counter. I reached out my hand to take it but he shook his head. He gently took off the heavy eye makeup and lipstick, brushing my bangs back so he could see my face. I closed my eyes, his hands making my skin tingle. Every swipe pulled down a barrier, every touch pulled me and him towards the old Julia.

"I was worried about you." He said after a few minutes. I opened my eyes and saw his almost glowed in the moonlight. "I thought you'd get hurt, but after seeing all those knives, I figured I was just being silly." He laughed half heartedly and I winced.

"Don't." I said softly, leaning my face against my hand. I was fighting back the blackness with every ounce of my body, keeping Julia there, keeping her there for William. "I know how you feel about all of this, there's no way its ever going to work, after this I'll be out of your life, I'll probably be dead in a year or two at the most anyway…"

"No." William said earnestly. "No, you could go to the hospital, maybe get some help and then…"

"There is no help for me William." I said shortly, giving him a strangled smile. "This is who I am now, you should just forget about this all, I mean I know you don't want to be part of anything, I'm not changing back, I am who I am." He looked at me, his eyes wide and worried. "But now…" I swallowed, beads of sweat forming on my forehead from the effort of keeping back the dark. "Now its just me." I leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth, gently. His surprise was quickly changed to lust and his arms snaked around me while mine dug into his hair possessively. I kissed him down to his ear, which I bit down on hard then closed my eyes, willing the dark to go away. Stop.

_No._

I began to pull away, but for some reason, William pulled me back.

"I know." He whispered in my ear. "Let me help." He began to kiss me softly on the mouth and my feelings went wild. This time it was the dark working with Julia, a balance, and suddenly, it was just Julia. I leaned against William and we fell onto the couch, my fingers furiously working at the buttons of his shirt, his fingers unclasping my bra.

_Fight the dark Julia, don't let it ruin this…_

_It didn't. _

Just before I unbuttoned his jeans, William whispered in my ear

"I will never forget you. I will see you again one day….I promise."

****

Just before the sun came up, my eyes flew open. The room was slightly lit now by the early rays, and I sat up, pushing Williams arm off me. I pulled my clothes back on and re-sheathed my knives. Then, I knelt down beside William, on his back and tangled in the blanket, his mouth open breathing softly. I kissed him on the cheek and took two of my knives out. Using one, I carved my name into the handle of the black knife, then placed it beside William. A promise from me. I didn't know what would happen but William and I weren't part of the future. He wasn't okay with all of this, I knew that. He wanted the old Julia and she was gone. But, when he had told me he'd never forget me, I had to give him something. And maybe that something would give him some hope.

I stood and climbed out the window, stopping for just a minute to get another glance of William, sound asleep on the floor, peaceful and content. Then, I climbed down from the fire escape and set off back towards the Narrows and the warehouse. Now, the past was completely behind me. Nothing but the future.

**Joker**

I rubbed my temples, my fingertips coming away white. There were so many things going on in my head, so many ideas, so much to say. But the clearest of them all was that stupid girl. She was beginning to get on my nerves. It wasn't like she'd stopped being fun, no I don't think she ever will, it's just the things she makes me feel. Emotions. Bah.

The uh _adventure_ mayors birthday party two weeks ago had been a success, even though the mayor himself hadn't kicked the bucket courtesy of me. But, I'd gotten myself two party favors, his daughter and his whiny brat of a son, as well as a pissed off Batman who arrived regretfully a second too late. This had made for some great fun with Gotham, a televised broadcast of that whiny kid choosing whether he lives or his sister dies. And, even better he picked to spare himself. Perfect.

Or at least I thought that until it actually came down to the real fun. It was all wonderful, destroying the girls hopes and dreams, and so easy too. I was really enjoying myself, telling her about how her brother had instantly sold her out. It was the usual… until she started to scream her father's name.

"Daddy help me please!" She had yelled pathetically, her eyes filling with tears. "Daddy help me, help me!" It felt like someone was trying to stab me in the heart. Well, I didn't like that one bit, had to kill her straight away and a couple goons after since I was so pissed I didn't get my fun.

I knew who was giving me those stupid and worthless feelings. Caring kills you, and this stupid female clone of me was driving me up the wall…well farther up it.

What irritated me the most was that the girl hadn't even killed anyone like I thought she was going to do that day in her apartment. Furthermore, she'd been smart and bunked up somewhere in Gotham till it died down. I knew she wouldn't leave, just like I wouldn't. Gotham was the perfect place for people like us, it was almost as wild and unpredictable as we were. If she tried to go, she'd get pulled back simple as that.

So I had no idea whatsoever where she was and tearing up the city to find her…well she was smart, she'd know she was getting to me. Can't have that hmm? So, I'd found that little camera boy of hers house and uh let myself in.

He wasn't there.

He'd left, cleaned out the place and plum out ran away. She sure knew how to pick them huh?

Wait. On the wall. A few words, carved by a knife.

_I promise. _

Great. So now I didn't have any leverage to send her to me, I actually had to go out and find her. Even worse, Gordon and his donut eating cops had paid or bribed that nosy blonde to keep her mouth shut when Gordon heard about Julia's little escapade. It looked like the Commissioner had a soft spot for her and didn't want this to get out, imagine how Gotham would react. This was not turning out to be a good week and….hey wait.

_Imagine how Gotham would react._

Hmm. Oh yes. I had never thought about it before, the amount of ideas and theories and utter chaos that would happen if this got out.

_**Imagine** how Gotham would react._

_

* * *

_

**Haven't written from the Jokers point of view in a while so I decided to go for it. I would really LOVE some suggestions, whatever you think should happen, I know whats going to happen in the end but I want to get there.....creativly. So....review even just to say you hate it or like and if you can give me some of your ideas and opinions! Thanks and chapter 23 up sooooon!**


	23. Chapter 23 Decisions

**.....uh _hi_. I feel horrible for taking so long, absolutly horrible. But do not fret, I worked myself to death trying to get everythign right and I really hope you like this chapter and the next. They set the ending of one part of Julia's life and lead into a whole new one. Yes, this story still has a while to go now, what with my er** **_alterations._ So please read and review and scold me if you must I just hope you like it!**

**_Disclaimer: Don't own and rights to any DC comic characters._**

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

That day I curled up in my nest of blankets on the floor of that warehouse and tried to sleep. I couldn't and soon I found my face was wet with a few small tears It frightened me, to be actually crying after all this time, but the tears that fell down my face were real even though there was few. Leaving William was leaving my soul behind and now there was nothing to stop the darkness from creeping inside me, nothing to hold it at bay.

The sun took forever to set and I never closed my eyes, they simply starred at nothing while I lost myself in memories. I stood as the moon rose and starred bleary eyed at the pictures decorating the wall. My eyes fixated on a detailed picture of the Joker, drawn with angry lines and frustrated thoughts. His eyes looked back at mine, dark holes of death. I couldn't kill him, I couldn't even try, I knew that now. No matter what he did, I would never be able to bring myself to tearing that smile off his face.

But, maybe I could ruin his one little objective in life, the one thing he wants.

As I'd watched him on television, had conversations with him, I'd realized clearly that the Joker's goal wasn't to kill the Batman; it was to have the Batman kill him. It would make him break his one rule, it would bring the Batman crashing to the ground, send Gotham crumbling. It was such a fascinating and simple yet complicated and difficult task. Batman was indestructible, there had been so many times that any other human would have broken down, yet he kept his head, didn't even sway.

If maybe, somehow, I could get Batman to kill me, well then that would ruin the Joker's goal, frustrate him to no end. He'd never forget it; no one would ever forget it. And Batman, well….. it would be better for him, maybe then he'd kill the Joker and other vigilantes and save Gotham from this eventual disaster right?. Everyone's been complaining about it anyhow haven't they? I pressed my forehead against the papers. If I did this, I'd have to find out Batman's weakness, the one button that when pushed would cause him to explode. Only issue was I had no clue where to start.

….. Then I remembered that one day that felt like years ago when I was looking in the window at the guns and the Batman had approached me with some god-awful preach about how I wasn't like the Joker, blah blah, how he felt sorry about my mothers death. And then I said….

"_Tell me Batman, have you ever heard your parents dying screams? Seen there blood pooling around them…not being able to do anything?" _

_I saw Batman stiffen underneath all that armor and frowned, waiting for his answer. But he said nothing, pulled some sort of mechanism out of his pocket, shot it up, and flew upwards, onto the roofs of Gotham._

Batman had lost his parents, that I was sure of. Maybe, if I found out a little more I'd be able to con him into killing me, rile him up, break down his barriers. Destroy him. I shivered. It was the only way for revenge; it didn't matter if I died anymore, just how it would happen. I didn't want to be abducted by some hopeful mob criminal or crazed psychopath and used to ransom the Joker; that would fail and be a pointless death for me. I didn't want the Joker to kill me either, no….never. And, I didn't really want to go suicidal, that would be so….boring. Nothing would be gained from it but if Batman killed me, well that would be so very different. I crossed the room to the washroom and started to get myself ready. The only way to figure out more about the death of Batman's parents was to know the man behind the mask…er cowl. I grabbed my peacoat and made sure all my knives were in their sheaths, then headed out the window. I wasn't going to be getting much sleep for a long time.

* * *

**Batman**

I landed lightly on the top of the building, right beside the spotlight, shining the silhouette of a bat into the sky. Gordon turned to look at me when I stood up, a cup of coffee in his hands. He looked completely exhausted, eyes red, hair all over the place, and those glasses of his skewed to the side. He almost looked as tired as I felt, which was saying something. I hadn't had a good sleep in forever and it was starting to show. Julia Samuels's disappearance wasn't doing any good either.

I knew Gordon had gotten that young woman to remain quiet about it, the cop hadn't been awake in the first place, and the man had refused to talk about it, and then took off a few days ago. It had all worked out perfectly, but had sent the few top officers who were aware of Julia Samuel's blood father into panic. What I feared most was the Joker actually discovering how much "fun" he would get from Gotham finding out about his daughter. I was almost definite that he'd already figured it out and that's what worried me.

"Have you found her?" Gordon asked hoarsely. I shook my head and he massaged his temples.

"Great. Just great." He looked back up at me. "You know what's going to happen to her when this thing gets out right?" I didn't nod, it was a rhetorical question. It was obvious what would happen to the girl. Death. Course, with the Joker involved it could mean a year at the most of service to him but not too likely.

It was a surprise the girl had been able to survive this long with the circumstances. She didn't have any abilities that would allow her to be a threat, she was intelligent, but not a genius, didn't have any acrobatic training or martial arts. She had a gun and some knives that never hit the target; that would only get you so far. Finally, she wasn't well of mind, an obvious problem. She had some sort of deluded idea of right from wrong, doing things that would not help anyone. My fists clenched. The odd thing was, I didn't care if she lived or died. In my opinion, if she happened to die on the streets it wasn't my problem. The girl had done more bad then good and if we never found her it wouldn't be the end of the world.

"You know what?" Gordon said suddenly. My eyes flickered to his. "I really feel bad for the girl, maybe that's why I feel the need to find her." I didn't answer so he continued. "She has no one and she doesn't deserve that. She isn't a cold-blooded killer like her father, but she still has no person to count on. I saw the journals in her closet when we were searching the room. It really breaks your heart." He turned to me. "You do know she worshipped you right? Undeniably and irrevocably worshipped you." Those words struck a cord in me.

"I'll keep looking for her." I said. Gordon gave a small smile and looked down at his coffee mug. By the time he looked up I was gone. Later, when I was sitting in the cave, scanning through the Joker and Julia Samuels medical files and thinking back on what Gordon said, I came to the conclusion that maybe Gordon knew a whole lot more than he put on.

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

"No darling, your footing is all wrong." David laughed, grabbing my ankle and shoving it backwards so I had my right foot in front and my left foot behind. "If you position yourself like this, it will be a hell of a lot more accurate." I scowled, my fingers fidgeting impatiently.

"Can I throw it now?" I asked. David chuckled.

"Go ahead darling." I focused on the red dot painted on the bark of the park tree and let the knife fly from my fingers. It felt so perfect, the knife making a soft whoosh through the air and the loud and satisfying thud as it hit the bark of the tree. A grin spread on my red lips and I heard a soft gasp from David. I turned to look at him, crossing my arms and smirking, but found he was giving me one right back.

"I knew you just didn't want to hit me with those knives yesterday." He smirked. I rolled my eyes at him but I was actually very pleased. I'd never realized that I'd always been aiming to miss and with the tips David had given me…well… I grabbed three knives from my boots and threw them at the other red dots, one after the other.

Thud thud….darn. I frowned at the last knife, flying into the grass. David placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry darlin' you'll be the best knife thrower of all time before you know it." I frowned, shrugging off David's hand.

"I don't think I'll be joining the circus any time soon." I said.

"Just like you said you wouldn't come back any time soon?" David replied, a smirk playing on his lips. I shot him a glare and walked over to the trees, pulling out the knives and wiping the sap off their sharp edges. I hadn't left the warehouse to come back to the park, I'd actually headed to the Gotham city library and er, borrowed the records of deaths in the last century. It was enormous, but since Batman had all those gadgets, I'd deduced he had to be rich so I'd taken the records of influential people who died as well as a magazine about the rich of Gotham today. It'd been too easy, since the library was just closing and I joined a large group of people, the archives hidden under my peacoat.

So, I'd been heading back to the warehouse, all ready to start reading up on the rich and wealthy of Gotham when I saw a little girl and her parents walking along the street. I knew they had been to the circus since they were carrying balloons and cotton candy. The little girl was clutching a large stuffed monkey, fast asleep in her father's arms, who kissed the top of her blonde head every few minutes. I stood in the middle of the sidewalk, many people bumping into me and cursing, watching the family make their way along the street. The mother was laughing and she kissed the fathers cheek, then caught the child's monkey as it slipped out of her grip, returning it to her daughter's waiting arms.

I suddenly had a great urge to hit something, to distract myself. I ran towards the park where I began to throw my knives at the trees dotting the park in a frenzy. In my mind the trees were the family, and each time the knife hit the bark, I was stabbing that happy image away. That's when David showed up and started teaching me, completely oblivious of my anger. Oddly enough, I calmed down from his pointers and started to enjoy myself…until he started talking about leaving Gotham. David huffed and I could tell he was waiting for an answer.

"I can't leave Gotham." I said quietly.

"And why is that? If you're in trouble with the law darlin', isn't that the best option?" I continued cleaning the blade, not meeting David's eyes, though I could feel them boring into the back of my head.

"I don't run from my problems." I said to the tree. David huffed.

"Then you're not as smart as I thought you were. See you tomorrow night princess." I turned and saw him walking back towards the circus, hands in his pockets. I turned in the opposite direction, heading back towards the warehouses, fuming inside. Was there something wrong with me? Was I destined to alienate every single person in my life? I huffed and scuffed my feet across the ground, shoving my hands into my pockets.

I paused by one of the pubs, which was abnormally silent. I walked inside and saw immediately why. A smiling Joker face, pasted on the television screen. Then began to speak and I swear I jumped out of my skins. I don't know how he did it, but not only could you hear it on the TV, but the radio outside began projecting his voice as well.

"Helloo Gotham….can you uh all hear me? I hope you're ready for the show!" He gave a short laugh, the camera in front of his face zooming out to see him standing in a classroom, a group of frightened and crying children behind him. He had one little girl- one with her pretty hair in pigtails- by the arms, big tears streaming down the girls face. "For the er entertainment tonight I will be calling a volunteer from the audience." He paused, his head cocked slightly to the side as if waiting for someone to jump into their TV and volunteer. Then, he stretched his scars wider, a maniacal and menacing grin appearing on his face.

"No? Then I'll er, volunteer someone." His eyes bored into the camera and a shiver went through my entire body. He picked up a bowl filled with pieces of paper with one hand and knelt down, wrapping his arm around the little girl so her could dig his hand into the bowl. He pulled out one piece of paper and dropped the bowl to the ground, standing, his arm tightening around the girl so she gave a little yelp. He patted her hair and his eyes read the name then flickered back to the screen, his scars stretching in a smile.

"Ohh Julia!" He called, and my entire body froze. "Julia Samuels uh come on down!" He clapped his hand together, the noise echoing in the bar. "Julia sweetheart, you're going to have to play the game if you want this uh _lovely_ school to not blow up into a million pieces. You come here sweetheart, alone without the flying rat and donut shoving cops to uh…" he glanced around. "…Mapleview Public School and I'll let all of these children live." He ran his hands through the little girl's hair who gave a little yelp and began to struggle. He grabbed her by her arms, kneeling down so she could see his face.

"Are you scared?" He asked patronizingly. The girl nodded, her eyes focused on the Jokers purple shoes. "Who do you want to see honey?" He slurred. The little girl was shaking like a leaf and she glanced at the Joker, gave a little whimper then eyed the camera.

"I want my daddy." She sobbed. "And my mommy." Those tiny pleas hit me hard, like a pound of bricks. The Joker flexed his fingers, a smug smile on his face as if he had known that would work on me. What was I saying, of course he'd known..

"Better hurry sweetheart." The Joker said in a sing-song sort of voice. I backed slowly out of the pub as people began nervously talking about what had just happened, then took off. I had absolutely no clue where it was but it wouldn't be hard to find. A cop car sped by me and I watched it turn on Bayview. There was only one place it would be going. The police would set up a perimeter around the school, which I'd have to get by first. I growled my frustration and began to run as fast as I could. If I wouldn't be able to go down at the hands of Batman, at least I'd be able to save a couple of kids. That girl was going to see her mother and father if it was the last thing I'd do…and it probably would be.

* * *

**I am SO pumped for the next chapter, and for the ones to come but if you don't like where this is going right now or even later in the story just review and tell me your thoughts. I seriously do take the ideas given to me. **

**Alright well please review and I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Next one will be up VERY soon and this time I mean it!**


	24. Chapter 24 Destruction

**Hi everyone! This chapter is one of my favorite and most hated chapters for a reason and you will see. I'm not sure about the smoothness of it so if you really don't like some parts and have better suggestions tell me.**

**This chapter and many before would not have been put together without the incredible creativity of my beta reader TwoManyIdeas who true to her name gave me so many ideas I actually had to pick which ones I liked best (and believe me that was very hard) The way this story is going is due to her and I really appreciate all the work she's put into my story. A gazillion thanks to TwoManyIdeas!**

**_Disclaimer: DON'T OWN DC CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

_

* * *

_

Julia Samuels

I rounded the corner sharply and stopped, seeing the paranoia in front of me. The school was one of those old buildings in Gotham, a large stone construction from the late 1800's, tall and imposing. The police had set up a large barrier around the entire school and I could easily see clown goons with children in front of them in the windows and most likely behind the doors. A large mob was conversing on the scene, and the cameras were whirling. I began to run towards the alleyway and almost bumped into a camera crew, then stopped hearing the reporter's voice, bubbly and with a slight British accent.

"And we are all wondering who in the world is Julia Samuels and what her connection is to the Joker, making her the reason for this entire hostage situation. Our hearts at Gotham Tonight go out to the parents of the Mapleview public school children and we are praying for a quick and painless ending to this tragic story." I turned around and saw Marissa standing there, looking extremely uncomfortable with the situation. Suddenly, her eyes locked on mine.

"Julia Samuels!" She shrieked, pointing at me. The camera's flashed my way, as did the eyes of the entire mob. I stepped back, but people were crowding behind me. A mircrophone was shoved into my face.

"Julia Samuels what is your involvement in this hostage situation? How do you know the Joker?" My tongue felt numb and I tried to get out of the mob now surrounding me, trying to push me towards the police. I didn't want that. I could see Commissioner Gordon looking this way, his glasses glinting in the blare of the spotlights. I tensed then pulled my gun out of my peacoat and shot a bullet into the air. Instantly pandemonium ensued and I crawled out of the screaming mob towards the alleyway, giving the police cars a wide berth. Once in the alleyway I breathed a little easier until I started to hear the cops yelling "she went this way!" I searched in vain for way into the school and found nothing. This really wasn't my day.

I stomped my foot angrily and oddly enough my foot went through the ground. I gave a small yelp and pulled out my foot from the hole I had created. I bent down and brushed away the garbage, seeing an almost completely concealed rotting trapdoor in the ground. My hands felt the lock and realized it was completely rusted. I slipped out one of my knives and hacked at the lock until it broke. I lifted up the door and with one last look around, jumped feet first into the hole in the ground.

****

I came crashing down onto a large pile of what I took to be boxes. The entire room was pitch black, except for the light coming from the open door at the top of the stairs. Finally I realized what I had jumped into. A cellar. The reason for the door from outside being in the middle of the alleyway was that the wooden boards that usually surrounded these kind of things had been taken apart when the school lost the need for a cellar in the first place. Since they only needed the area for storage of all these boxes, there was no need for the door to outside. I grinned at my good luck at this school being so old and began to creep towards the door, pulling out one of my knives. I didn't get very far. A large man in a clown mask stood in front of the door, a gun in his hand. He didn't even need to cock it. I knew what was at stake. The knife was just to make me feel less pathetic.

"Just take me wherever I'm supposed to go." I snarled at the man. He nodded gruffly and tried to grab my arm. I pivoted, turning away.

"No." I growled. "You lay one hand on me and this knife will be in your gut before you even have a chance to fire a shot. Got it?" I knew he was surprised, he hadn't thought I'd react that way or be so threatening. That meant he wouldn't test me.

"Fine then girly." The man said, speaking for the first time in a gruff voice. "This way." I walked ahead of him, my head held high, trying to keep my dignity and my nerves in place. It felt like there were ants crawling all over me, and I had to fight not to fidget, just simply let my hands shake un-noticeably as I walked.

Funny thing was, as we quickly and silently walked down the hallway, I began to admire the beautiful architecture of this building. I'd remembered from the many long nights of internet searching and Gotham history books when I was a teenager that this building was one of the only in the city that was still completely preserved and had never been burned down of defecated. (something to say for a city like Gotham) I kept myself focused on the building around me instead of what awaited me and I began to calm down. In fact, my hands had actually begun to stop shaking when we approached more clowns standing in front of the gym. The second those doors pushed open, I almost threw up.

The Joker turned around from the large group of children and teachers sitting in front of him. He still had the girl with the pretty hair, his arms clenched tightly around her. But, now her hair wasn't as messy. Someone had torn the hair bands from her hair and now it looked wild and dirty blonde. With the change in her hair I realized why the Joker had chosen her to bait me.

She looked just like me, but a miniature version.

My eyes flickered to the girl then to the Joker who had a smug grin on his face.

"Welcome sweetheart, ready to be the star of the show?" I didn't say anything and the Joker shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright then sweethear-t" he drawled, popping the t like gum. "I'll take that uh for a yes."

"I don't have anything to say to you." I hissed my eyes on the poor little girl. "So lets just get this over with. You let those kids go and whatever sick little plan you have I'm game." The Joker raised his eyebrows.

"See that's the er problem with you sweetheart. You have no sense of these uh hostage situations. You see, it won't work if I let the kids go before we do the show for all of Gotham. You won't er co-operate." He rolled his eyes at me and snapped his fingers. Next thing I knew, a clown was bringing out a video camera and positioning in the middle of the room. The Joker handed the girl over to a clown and stepped into the camera spot. I was given a sharp push and stumbled towards the Joker. I tensed to dodge the Joker's wild grab for my hair, but his gloved hands closed around my wrist and pulled me to him.

"I think your forgetting what's at stake here sweetheart. Do you really want to be responsible for another death, especially a little girl who has two parents who love her so much?" My eyes flickered to the little girl shaking in the arms of the goon, a gun now placed to her head. I relaxed all my muscles, letting the Joker turned us around to face the camera and the windows behind it. Strangely enough, something that looked like a curtain began to slowly lower over the windows. The Joker walked briskly over to the windows, pulling me along. I looked out the window and saw hundreds of faces looking up, not at the window but at the large sheet which I found was a projector screen that finally came to a stop.

"Alllll of Gotham will be the witness to our little uh show." The Joker hissed in my ear. I glanced at the camera, then back out the window. I don't know how he did it, but this video camera had been connected to appear both on the large projector screen and on all the news stations on television.

"Do you know what I've realized Julia?" The Joker asked me as he led- and by that I mean pulled me by the hair- away from the window. "This little secret of ours is really not one to be kept to just our closet friends, enemies and flying rodents. Imagine what kind of reaction we would get from Gotham if they all knew about you being my uh one and only child hmm?"

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even talk. I was more furious then I had been in my entire life. All this suffering I had taken for this idiotic clown to make sure he kept this secret and he just decides "hey it would be fun if I just told everyone!"

But The worst part was…I couldn't do anything about it. If I refused to go along, all the people in this room would die and it would be my fault. I'd have murdered them all.

"Are you ready sweetheart?" The Joker breathed in my ear. I nodded. The Joker turned my unresisting body to face him and looked into my defeated eyes.

"You know what sweetheart? That little makeover you gave yourself makes you look like a female version of me huh?" I didn't say anything, just glared, completely aware of my short hair, my purple clothes, my red lipstick which was most likely smudged by now, and the black eyeliner on my eyes. Put the Joker and my faces side by side and it's so easy. I could see the faces of the teachers in the room. They already were thinking about the resemblance. The Joker pulled me by the hair into the camera light and after making a show of pushing my hair out of my face. He spun me so I faced the camera, my back against his chest.

"Lights, camera…._action_."

* * *

**Commissioner Gordon**

The second we began to see the projector screen lower over the building, I knew Julia Samuels was inside. A few minutes later, the screen flickered to life and a shining picture of the Joker and a defeated looking Julia Samuels were projected onto the screen. The Joker's purple gloved hand was stroking her hair, while Julia looked off screen at something we couldn't see, her eyes distant.

The people around me instantly began muttering. It was freaky how much they both looked alike. With Julia's new haircut and makeup there would be no doubt by anyone that she was the daughter of the Joker if the idea was just put in their heads. I myself wasn't sure what the Joker was going to do or say and I honestly didn't want to think about it. The Joker starred at the camera for a minute, and then glanced at Julia, who was making a big show of not looking at the camera. The Joker rolled his eyes.

"Fine I er guess someone forgot to give her the script." His let loose a short laugh. "Welcome Gotham to this extra special live coverage filled with uh…" he glanced to the side and the camera moved to show a group of children and teachers cowering on the floor. "….frightened children…." he glared at Julia "….**bloodshed…..**" she jumped and her eyes darted to the camera. "….and of course the entertainment itself." The Joker glared at the person behind the camera and nothing happened. He huffed and pulled out a gun shooting it right above the camera. The screams of the children from the speakers mixed with the crowds loud shrieks of shock.

"Have to do everything yourself." Muttered the Joker as he took too long steps forward and reached towards the camera which zoomed out. He stalked back to Julia who didn't look fazed at all about the abrupt death; it looked like she was watching the dead person on the ground, her eyes looking below the camera. The Joker paced around her, licking his lips.

"Now uh before we get to the punch line of this er _story_, we need to start at the beginning." Julia hugged her chest and closed her eyes.

"Half a year ago, Julia Samuels arrived in this lovely city. She got to live out her little fairytale, meet some friends, uh get a job, it was all…._.perfect_ ." The Joker stopped suddenly, his eyes becoming dark and threatening. "Now if there is one thing I hate about reporters is how nosy they are. Curious little Julia here uh started getting a little too interested in a certain Prince of Crime, sticking her nose where it shouldn't be." The Joker rested a possessive hand on Julia's shoulder and her eyes opened, calculating. "Some truths just uh shouldn't be revealed don't you think sweetheart?" Julia tensed, and she turned her head to glare at the Joker a very obvious message on her face.

_Shut up. _

The Joker raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders. "She couldn't just leave the past alone…." The Joker's eyes went back to Julia, a different expression on his face. Anger. "Had to know everything huh sweetheart?" He hissed. Julia looked slightly shocked by this change. He didn't even seem to be paying attention to the camera anymore, as he began to pace. For a few minutes no one said anything then the Joker sprang and grabbed Julia around the throat. "You just _had_ to push your luck right sweetheart? Just had to dig up all you could hmm?" Julia seemed to forget the camera as well, being the fact that she could barely breathe. The Joker's hand left her neck and pinned her arms, hands tightening on her wrists. Julia caught her breath, her eyes almost pitch black, eyebrows furrowed.

"What the hell are you talking about? You're the one who tore my life apart, I had a right to know the truth!" The Joker let loose a harsh and short laugh and Julia's face darkened with anger.

"Sweetheart I didn't tear apart your life, you did that yourself."

"Just because I figured out the truth about my father didn't mean that you had to go to such lengths to make my life a living hell!" Julia yelled furiously, the camera now completely forgotten. I started to get a very uncomfortable feeling. I knew what the Joker was doing. He was playing her. He was going to get her to confess, then there would be no doubt in anyone's eyes that she'd been forced to say the Joker was her father.

I glanced back at the screen and a movement caught my eye, a dark shadow skirting over the roof of the building. The Batman.

**

* * *

**

Julia

I felt like I was going to explode, my rage bubbling around inside of me like a volcano. All I could see was the Joker, everything else was red.

"If you hadn't been so curious sweetheart un nothing would have happened and you'd still have your mother, still have your life." The Joker growled. My eyes widened. How dare he say my mother's death was my fault!

"You killed my mother not me!" I screamed at the Joker, struggling against his arms to attack him." I kept your oh so important secret yet you just couldn't find the one space in that shriveled up thing you call a heart to let me have my life, not ruin it? You've destroyed everything else, why can't you just keep this one secret?" The Joker cocked his head, looking confused.

"Whoa there sweetheart, you er lost me there. What secret are _**you**_ uh talking about?"

What the hell was this?

"That you're my father you stupid and pathetic excuse of a clown!" I shrieked furiously. The Joker didn't attack me or try to throw me out the window, even though I completely insulted him. He simply looked at me, a vicious grin forming on his lips, his scars stretching so he looked even more demented then before. He looked over my shoulder and I turned seeing the camera that had been on the entire time. I'd been so angry, so frustrated that I'd forgotten everything but the Joker standing in front of me.

"Thank you Gotham for er _enjoying_ out wonderful father daughter act in front of you all. Don't we just make a wonderful team?" He grabbed my face and pressed it right beside his, forcing me to look into the camera.

_No no no. What had I done?_

The Joker looked at me triumphantly expecting some sort of angry outburst. I couldn't say anything but three words.

"How could you?" His smile faltered for a second then a growling voice echoed around the room followed by many children gasping.

"Step away from the girl Joker." I turned back to the camera, where the Batman stood, his eyes like ice. He disconnected the camera by crushing it with his feet and stalked forwards. I didn't waste any time thinking. I brought my foot back and kicked hard at the Jokers knee diving out of the way. I fell beside the dead goon, hitting my head hard on the floor and turned to here a roar of pain from the Batman and the Joker sprinting from the room, the Batman yanking a knife out of his leg.

"See you later sweetheart!" The Joker laughed mercilessly as he left. The Batman followed him out the door and after a second I stood and ran after them. My brain was finally starting to function and there was only one thought on my mind. I'd thought I was furious before, but nothing could compare to the pain, hatred and livid emotions that were boiling through me. I wanted a bullet in the Joker's head and nothing was going to stop me.

_How could he?_

_******_

I ran through the school, blood dripping from the cut on my forehead. I raced up stairs, following the loud footsteps of the Joker and the Batman. Suddenly I ran through an open door and felt the cool air on my face. I could see the Joker running across the top of the building and the Batman close behind him. I didn't think I just grabbed the gun from my coat and shot a single shot into the air then cocked it.

"STOP!" I shouted furiously. Both of them pivoted and starred at me, the shock evident on both of their faces.

"I can't believe you did it, you told everyone." I yelled at the Joker, my entire body shaking. "I never did anything to you, never and I kept your stupid name a secret but you just _had _to." The Joker didn't say anything for once and I continued. "You know, I used to think I'd never be able to kill you, no matter how hard I tried because I didn't want to give up on the sad pathetic hope that you'd change. But now, after you did that I don't think it'd be that hard. I'd be doing the world a favor, killing you." I chuckled. "You don't deserve to live. You say you're ahead of everyone else, your not. You've never done anything to help anyone else, you call yourself a clown, yet your jokes aren't even funny. Believe me, I know."

The Joker's face darkened but before he could speak I continued. "You're not a clown, you're a pathetic man who doesn't know what else to do with himself, who takes out the pains he's had in his life on others." I took a deep breath. "See you in hell." I hissed my vision red.

"Julia." My eyes flickered to the Batman. "Its not going to solve anything." He continued. "Doing that will only prove your more like him, the pain won't stop once he's dead, it will just get worse." I glared at Batman and swung the gun towards him.

"What right do YOU have to preach to me? Last time we met you told me I was just like him and now I'm not? If I'm just like him then this is **exactly** what I would do."

"Wait a second." The Joker said suddenly. "Didn't you er** not** want to be like me this whole time sweetheart?"

"Shut-up!" I yelled at him. "Just shut you mouth! I didn't tell anyone, yet you had to rip my life apart, piece by piece. How could you?" The Joker cocked his head.

"Everyone's corruptible." He replied, like so many times before.

"That doesn't mean anything!" I yelled back. "I was already corrupted, but now…. I wanted a father so badly. I wanted someone to truly care about me and I had that. William cared, my mother cared, even Marissa cared once. But you took that." Tears began to pour down my face. "Right now, I want you dead, I want your brains splayed across the ground." I aimed the gun at the Joker and closed my eyes. The Joker laughed at me and his eyes bored into my skull, drilling unspoken words.

_Do it. Come on sweetheart. Do it._

I waited…..then sighed.

I couldn't. Nothing had changed and now I knew it never would.

The blare of the helicopter rose behind me and a voice erupted around me.

"Drop the gun, or we will shoot." The Joker pulled out a handgun and fired a shot at the helicopter.

"Buzz of! We're trying to solve a family argument here!" He shouted. Batman threw himself towards me, and pulled me to the ground. The Joker's shot shocked the pilot and he veered off with the helicopter. The officers fired shots from the air, trying to aim at the Joker but jutting far off to his left…..where the Batman had thrown me to try to save me. I felt a jarring pain as a single shot went off.

The Joker continued to shoot at the helicopter and a clown with a machine joined him on the other building, sending that very helicopter into him, causing the man and building to go up in flames.. Ashes rained upon us and I clutched my chest. It came away covered in warm sticky blood. I starred at it then looked to where the Batman stood, now even farther away. The Joker was a few feet from me, watching silently. I starred at him and he starred back. The fire began to lick its way onto the school. I wiped my bloodied hand across my mouth, making a smile, and his mouth twitched. I saw him opening his scarred mouth to say something but before he could I reached inside my coat and pulled out my little pocket knife, tossing it to him. Then, I turned, and clutching my stomach, climbed down the rusting fire escape.

Once I hit the ground, I began to run. It was the only thing I could think of, get away. I'd been running for only a few minutes when I stopped, and leaned against the wall of an alleyway. What was I going to do? I closed my eyes and started to slip towards the ground, I just wanted to lie down and sleep….no. I forced my eyes awake. I needed to get away from everything from the Joker, the Batman…Gotham. I had no choice, but how? My blood slowly continued to stain my shirt and I grimaced, running towards the park, towards the circus…my free ticket out of here.

I reached the edge of the park and made my way towards David's trailer. I hammered on the door and he opened it after a few seconds, looking sweaty and exhausted. He took one look at me, the blood dripping from my stomach and paled.

"Oh god…" He whispered, lifting me off the ground. I gave him a tiny smile. This was it.

"Got any space for a knife thrower?" I asked, and then everything went black.

* * *

**Joker**

I thought she was fine, most likely crying in a hole, pathetic and broken, but when days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months I started to realize maybe she wasn't… _alive_. That would be so inconvenient so I searched the city up and down, tore it apart....and I mean literally I actually had a bulldozer at one point. I vowed that when I found her I'd rip her limb from limb for staying away for so long. I never found even a drop of blood or piece of her wild hair. Then, I finally realized it. She was gone…..and that made me veerryy angry.

She'd just decided to die? Without any thought to me and what we could have accomplished? No, I punished her the only way I could. I hunted down all those children who survived that attack on the school, killed them all, and burned the school to the ground. The entire time I had her sad face in my head, the pain in her eyes with every stab, every scream. Then, the Batman came and took me away. I didn't escape that night, I was carted right off to the police headquarters then er _interrogated_. I was pretty calm until they took the pocket knife from me. That was a bad mistake.

After three dead police officers the Dork Knight came stalking in and knocked me out. Next time I woke up I was sitting in…._Arkham_.

Just perfect.

I was stuck in that stupid cell with no windows, pumped with drugs and wrapped up in a straight jacket. But, all of that seemed to be trivial compared to the rage and anger at Julia Samuels's death. I smirked in my dark cell, the pathetic moans of the other cellmates echoing around me. I wasn't done punishing her. No…. Julia Samuels was gone to the world, but in my mind every death, every pitiful scream that happened with my hands from now on would be her punishment, over and over again.

* * *

**Alright so it may be a little while till I have a new chapter up, so please stick with me. I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the ending made sense to you, but just to clarify Julia is NOT dead. Otherwise, I wouldn't be continuing. So please read and review on some ideas for what is to come because not including the eventual ending and a few key events, I have very little for the next chapters! You guys are awesome**!


	25. Chapter 25 Circus

**Hi everyone! Here's the next chapter and thank-you so much for all the reviews and ideas which were awesome. Again thanks to my beta reader TooManyIdeas who is still reading and critiqueing my chapters and still giving me ideas. This chapter was pretty darn hard to write and I hope you all like it.**

**_Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN AND DC COMIC CHARACTERS!!!_**

* * *

**Batman**

I crouched on top of a near warehouse building, sirens echoing through the night. The Joker had been in Arkham for a year now yet the amount of crime never seem to deplete. Other costumes super criminals had taken his place, and therefore Batman and therefore Bruce Wayne never saw any sleep.. When I wasn't scouring the city, I was breaking into Arkham, checking on their security and that the Joker and other criminals were still in their cells.

The only good thing that had happened was the die down of the entire Julia Samuels crisis. The city had been insane after the Joker introduced his daughter but when weeks turned into months and she was never seen, they slowly forgot about her and turned their attention to other things, like the crazed woman who tore up half of Gotham with a plant. Though the city forgot, the Joker didn't. It did shock me how hard he looked for the girl, how much destruction he caused especially once he got hold of the construction equipment. Gordon too never seemed to stop trying to find her, but after a few months he was forced to call it quits. I tried as well to get any leads on what had happened to her, but there was nothing, not even sightings from other cities. It'd been three years since that night on the rooftop and either she was dead or Julia Samuels had ceased to exist

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

_Thud. Thud. Thud._ The knives smacked into the circulating wooden board, just a hair from the living and breathing body of my partner_. Thud. Thud._ The audience roared with approval as I threw knife after knife. The best part hadn't even come yet. Hayward Angus, our large ringleader twirled his microphone and pointed his whip in my direction.

"And there you have it ladies and gentlemen! The aaaaamaaaazing Jewel!" He waited while the audience clapped.

"And now, feast your eyes on her next act…..blindfolded." I brought a kerchief out of my pocket and held it up in front of the audience. One of the clowns brought my knives back to me and I slipped them back inside their sheaths then walked up to the first row in the audience.

"This blindfold ladies and gentleman is not a trick and the talented Jewel herself will let members of the audience check." I let the awed rubes (customers) in the audience feel my kerchief for holes then walked back over to where my partner was still attached to the board. I slipped the kerchief over my head so it was all dark. One of the clowns grabbed me and turned me around and around. Then, they stopped and I stood motionless, listening. I unsheathed a knife and hurled it, hearing the pleasurable thud. Perfect hit. I threw knives one after the other, hearing them whizzing through the air and the audiences gasps.

Finally, I pivoted and threw my last and most precious knife, a sleek black little beauty up into the circus top. I peeled off my blindfold to watch it. The spotlight followed it as it cut through a rope and thudded into the wooden board positioned behind it. The rope let loose the confetti, which fell as the other circus performers made their final entrance for the grand finale. I walked over to the board that my partner David was on, the thunderous applause making the very ground shake. I pulled the knives out, one by one, all of them perfectly framing his muscular body. He grinned at me, eyes like jade and jet black hair wispy, with a stubble of a beard on his face.

"I can't believe I let you do this to me Jewel. One day you're going to miss." I collected my knives and sheathed them all on the pockets covering my spandex and uncomfortably revealing dark purple costume, the last few slipped into my boots.

"You better hope I don't." I replied loudly walking through one of the exits and narrowly avoiding an elephant as the animals and acrobats paraded around the big top. The cool summer air greeted me and I raised my sweaty brow to the silver moon, wispy clouds drifting past it, casting haunting shadows on the grass. I walked over to my truck and climbed inside the back, collapsing on the bed. When I saw that David followed me all the way over here, I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Thought you were doing your contorting in the final act?" I said dryly as he joined me on the bed. He smiled coyly at me, pushing me back onto the rough sheets when I tried to raise my head.

"Nope. The nights off for us birthday girl, courtesy of our lovely ringleader." He pressed his body weight against mine, and I inhaled him, smelling the sweat and cigar smell. He kissed me softly on the lips and twirled his tongue in circles in my mouth, then trailed it down to lick my ear. I moaned softly.

"Even your tongue is flexible." I said, trying to sit up, he pressed me back down.

"David." I said firmly, trying again, but moaning with pleasure when he nipped at my neck. It was always like this. I knew David liked me, but I never let him get close. He was lots of fun when I was feeling manipulative but our relationship was just that. Fun, nothing else. In the end it really didn't bother David. He had loads of way more attractive girls pining for him. Guess me pushing him away made me irresistible. I tried again to push him away and he kissed me hard.

"Jewel, you can't push me off forever. Someone as cold as you needs me to warm you up." His hands trailed down my costume, and found their way to the back. He slowly undid the zipper. I raised my eyes towards him, looking for blue…..William. But there was just green…..David. I gave a growl of frustration and pressed my lips against his. I was in charge here and I needed to forget.

Forget it all Jewel…..Jules…..Julia….

*****

I listened to the quiet noises of the night. The nickering from the horses, and the moaning and soft laughing of the drunk circus workers. Most of them were First of May's; rookies who didn't know how much circus booze could pack. I smile sourly and wiggled myself away from the sweaty body of David. My heart ached. The nights were the worst. I couldn't sleep, and always woke to the sound of _his_ laughter, to William's eyes, to _his_ smiling face, my mothers dying screams….. Gotham was mile away, but in my heart I was still there. Every part of my body wanted to go back, strangely enough I'd felt "at home" there.

Without Gotham I felt open, vulnerable, exposed. No matter how hard I tried to push the insecurity away, to forget it all I couldn't, When I left Gotham, I thought it was the right thing to do, I thought I could escape Gotham, could escape my past, could escape_ him_, but he and my past never left me.

It'd been three years. Three years since that night on the rooftop, since that bullet pierced my stomach and I'd run to the park, run to find David. I woke up to his green eyed face and the large and grinning one of Hayward Angus, the man in charge of the "Haly Circus". David had already told Angus all about me and my talents and since they'd needed a knife thrower so badly I was in without any thoughts. No one asked me about how I'd gotten the bullet wound, why I wanted so desperately to leave. They were circus people, they didn't bother about news of others, and even if they did know who I was, they simply didn't care. Many of these people were escaped convicts, murderers and someone with a psychotic killer as a father wasn't such a big deal to them.

The only thing they really cared about was money, the circus never had enough of it and they had big hopes that I'd help pull them through. Apparently I had potential to be one of the best knife throwers in North America….. now I was. I hadn't been back to Gotham since then……I huffed and sat up, pulling on my peacoat and boots. I left the truck and started to walk along the river beside the circus campsite, heading towards the town.

I did this almost every night when I couldn't sleep. I'd walk into a town, head near the bars and try to get someone to attack me so I could pummel them senseless. Usually I got lucky and have someone try to mug me or rape me, but not tonight. I walked for almost an hour, waiting to find someone to hurt but there was nothing. Eventually I headed by a bar thinking of just joining in on a fight or even starting one when I walked by a group of drunk men leaning against a dumpster. I ignored their catcalls; I could tell they were too drunk to actually try anything.

"Hey cutie where you going?" One of the men asked. I ignored him and he stumbled up behind me. "Hey beautiful want to join the party?" I continued to ignore him, clenching my knife. Maybe I was wrong. He placed a hand on my shoulder and I tensed excitedly. "Sweetheart you listening?" _Sweetheart._ Black rage flooded me as I pivoted and jumped on the man pummeling him repeatedly. Other guys joined in the fight and I took them all on, my rage fueling me. One of them put a hand on my mouth and I bit until I drew the irony taste of blood, punching the guy in the mouth. Everything began to blend together, bodies mixing with red….

Soon they were all on the ground. No one was really hurt, except for two guys with gashes on their legs, but they'd be fine. I fixed my coat and wiped the blood off my knife. Then, I strode up to the guy who'd called me sweetheart. He was the only one still conscious, swearing considerably looking around blearily. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me.

"I'm no 'sweetheart'." I hissed, my vision red. I pressed the knife against his neck, drawing blood, but then decided otherwise. I grabbed his ear and loped it off with my knife, giggling quietly while he screeched in pain, his eyes wide and red. Then I punched him in the nose, hearing the pleasurable crack, and knocked him out with the handle of my knife. I placed the bloody ear on his chest. I stood, surveying the damage then started walking away before anyone showed up. None of the men would remember anything in the morning and I had to use all of my strength to keep myself from going back and hurting them a little bit more.

A few minutes later the rage left me and I slumped on the grass by the river. I pressed my face into the ground, replaying the images of what I'd done. It was getting worse and worse this time I actually considered killing someone. I pounded the ground with my fist in frustration and in fright.

The horrible thing was, I didn't care. I'd loved the feeling of hurting those men, even though they'd really done nothing wrong. I'd loved seeing the sight of blood on their face, loved seeing their terror. I hadn't felt that since Anna Ramirez and that was only once. Now, it was all the time. I stood shakily and washed out the blood on my coat in the river, then walked unsteadily back to the truck.

I could run away from the madness but I couldn't hide forever.

*****

The next day I tried to busy myself with knife practice, and luckily it worked. Soon it was lunch time and I headed down to the Cook House to get some food before it was all gone. I grabbed myself some of the soup and nearly ran into a dark haired little boy who jetted by with bread in his hand. I stepped backwards and put my soup on the nearest table, grabbing the boy by his shirt.

"Jesus Dick, be more careful will you? That soup would have burned both of us if we spilled it!" The boy looked up at me apologetically.

"Sorry Jewel, it was an accident!" I rolled my eyes at him and bent down to look him straight in the face.

"It's okay. Do you still have that pocket-knife?" Dick nodded brightly, and pulled out the red, yellow and green pocket knife I'd given him, to match is outfit.

"Yep! I can throw it just like you!" Dick, tried to get the knife to pop out and I smiled.

"Maybe you should stick to acrobatics kid." I replied straightening and heading over to where David was sitting.

The boy followed me brightly, and I caught him casting smug looks at the other circus rugrats, who looked at him with admiration. Being a knife thrower, I'd earned a reputation and didn't bother with any of the children. Except Dick. That kid had no sense of when to stay away. David smiled brightly at Dick as he scrambled to sit beside me. I rolled my eyes at them both and focused on the soup.

"Hey Jewel can I ask you something?" Dick asked. My eyes flickered to his, then back to my soup.

"Sure." Dick took a deep breath.

"Could you teach me how to throw my knife just like you?" He stammered really fast. "I'd work really hard and I could help you set up the board and clean all your knives and I wouldn't ask too many questions all you'd have to do is show me some pointers and then I—"

"Yeah okay." I said, a smile pulling on the corners of my mouth. Dick stopped in mid sentence and looked up at me.

"You-you mean it?" He asked.

"Course I do." I said softly. I handed him my bread roll, with lots of butter on it just how he likes it. "Now I'm not making any promises on how good you'll be at it, but it will really help with your aim at catching and throwing all kinds of things." Dick chewed on his roll in awe, his mouth open. "You know what?" I said on an afterthought. "I'll even teach you ways to protect yourself with the knife; it'd be good if you knew how to keep safe, especially in the more uh difficult cities."

"Like Gotham?" Dick asked, swallowing the last of his bread. I froze and the smile left my lips, but Dick didn't notice. David did though and he watched me as I swallowed and answered Dick's question.

"Yes, like Gotham."

* * *

**Not to worry I'll most likely be putting some Joker point of view in the next chapter and Julia will be back in Gotham quite soon (poor girl). **

**Now just in case some of you don't know, the little kid at the end is Dick Grayson, aka the future robin. He will NOT be donning any tights or costume whatsover in this story, and I have changed him a bit. He's a really tiny kid for his age, and he's three years younger than he was in the comics when his parents were killed, he's only nine. His parents are still alive though (but most likely not for long) and he will become a minor character in the story. You see I really love having kids in my stories, they make for great conversation and their points of view are so different then adults. I really want him in this story and if you haven't already noticed he and Julia have a very close relationship, she cares a lot about him. **

**Okay so the next chapter is almost done, which means it will (pretty please) be up soon. Untill then please review and tell me what you think and any ideas I love them!**


	26. Chapter 26 What to do What to do

**Hi everyone. This chapter is very small but the next one will be out by Friday, I pinky promise! Thanks for all the reviews and support once again. You guys are awesome!**

**_Disclaimer: DON'T OWN DON'T SUE!_**

**

* * *

**

**Joker**

It was almost time, almost time to leave. It'd been great, heck even more er_ fun_ than the last time but I had allll I needed. I'd lost my toy, my Julia and either she was dead or she disappeared. And oh, I wouldn't stop searching, I'd find a body, or find her and make her pay….yes. I smirked in the darkness, the many possible ways of punishment flitting through my mind. I sat up on my cot and bounced my knee, trying to see in the pitch black of my new cell in solitary. I'd lost count of how many times I'd been in this cell for the little discrepancies I caused. But this time I had a reason, a reason for that little uh incident yesterday…..or was it last week?

Like all the others I'd killed someone, though I think that I made their miserable lives more interesting they had ever been. Course this time I killed one of the **inmates** with a pen, that was pretty new. He asked for it, he'd been er bothering my new toy. Oh yes, I had something new, a new ace in the hole, and I didn't _share_. I needed another trick up my sleeve and since little ol' Julia decided to ditch, I had to find someone else.

Had to admit though, this new toy wasn't nearly as fun as the old one. Ah, can't be picky though, but this one was had been so easy to break, like hitting a peach versus a pineapple. Peaches bruise much faster and don't have all the same resilience on the outside that pineapples have. That's what didn't make this new toy as fun as the last one, how easy it was to peel her apart.

Ah well I'd be out of here soon, with a new toy, and the always resilient Batman out to play my game. I didn't need **her** to have my fun. I had a whole new deck of cards up my sleeve ready to be dealt.

**Julia Samuels**

I watched Dick fly from ring to ring above me, a small smile on my face. It was always relaxing to watch him fly across the big top, looking like a giant bird. His mother always called him her little "robin" because of the red-chested costume he wore. It suited him, he was always flitting all over the place and he was a really tiny kid.

I guess the reason I liked spending so much time with Dick was the fact that he didn't judge. Not being in Gotham had helped and hampered me. It was nice not to be on my toes all the time but I never forgot it. I had horrible nightmares, worse then ever before and I always had the constant urge to hurt people, my late night jaunts being the worst of it. The circus people were aware of what I did at night, and though many were convicted of harsher crimes, they were still quite wary of me.

But Dick never raised an eyebrow at my constant mood swings, my being so antisocial, the late night walks. This was partly because he was only nine years old but also because of the fact that Dick took me for who I was. I still remember how skeptical his parents were about him hanging around with a knife thrower, but they saw how close we were and relented. I "watched" Dick all the time now, or more so he watched me. He was always the one to calm me down when I was angry or get me to talk and let my emotions loose.

"Hey Jewel watch this!" Dick called from the top. I gave him a small smile.

"Go ahead I'm watching." I called up at him. He grinned happily and jumped from the first trapeze somersaulting through the air, one two three four…then he started to fall. My heart jumped up my throat but at the last second he grabbed the second trapeze and swung onto the podium. He turned around and waved at me and I realized that I'd been holding my breath.

"You see how many times I somersaulted?" Dick yelled. "Four! Dad can only do three!" I forced at smiled.

"Yeah that was great bud." I said. Dick grinned but frowned down at the net on the ground.

"I kind of wanted to do it without the net though." I shook my head furiously.

"No way." I shouted up. "You heard what your parents said. Only when they're with you." I could here Dick mumbling to himself irritably and he climbed down the podium. The second his feet hit the ground, I relaxed, then frowned. I didn't like being so concerned about someone, it was something I wasn't used to and it made me nervous. But, all my fears and frustration with this new feeling disappeared when Dick reached me and sat down on the bench beside me.

"You all done Dick?" I asked. Dick nodded.

"Yep, but I'm really hungry. Can we got get some dinner soon?" I allowed myself a chuckle.

"We can go right now. I think the cooks serving spaghetti tonight before the show, your favorite." Dick jumped up, grabbed my hand and pulling me along.

"Well let's go before it's all gone!" We raced out of the big top and would have run all the way except Dick skidded to a stop beside the ringmasters' trailer and I almost crashed into him.

"What?" I snapped irritably. Dick looked up at me, a pout on his face.

"I left my pocketknife in the big top, I need to go back and get it." I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Fine. I'll wait here for you." Dick nodded eagerly and sprinted back. I sighed and leaned against the ringmasters' trailer. Dick was always forgetting stuff; it'd be a better idea to just glue everything the kid owns to his clothes and be done with it.

"Remind me again why the hell we're not continuing on to Metropolis?" a voice asked from inside the trailer. My ears perked up, it was David's voice.

"I don't really know why this matters so much to you, or why it's any of your business." A much lower and gruffer voice replied. It was the ringleader Hayward Angus.

"It's my business cause if we go back to that hellhole cheapskate of a city we'll loose money which means my pay will go down which means it's my fucking business." David retorted harshly.

"Listen the circus has some debts to pay off and if you want any pay whatsoever at the end of the month then you'll shut your trap and get out of my trailer." Angus replied just as fiercely. I heard the door on swing open on the other side of the trailer.

"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. Metropolis is a goldmine for the circus and by pulling the plug on that and bringing us to fucking _Gotham_ city you're going to screw us all." The screen door slammed shut and I could hear David stomping away. I slumped to the ground. _Gotham._ Why, why, why. Pictures flashed in front of my face, all of them more heart wrenching than the next. No, no, no. I couldn't go back, I couldn't.

A few seconds later, Dick came racing back.

"Found it!" He exclaimed happily, producing the knife from his pocket. "It was in my pocket the whole time, funny huh Jewel?" Dick cocked his head at me. "Hey you listening?" I stood, grim determination creeping across my face.

"Yeah I was listening." I replied coolly. I told myself I'd never go back to Gotham, and I wasn't going to change my mind one bit. I wasn't going back there and no one, **no one** could make me.

* * *

**So not sure if any of you notice but yes, there is a new villian er _villianess_ joining poor Gotham (hint Joker point of view) if you know who it is have a cyber cookie!**

**Please review I really love getting them and I'll update before Friday.**


	27. Chapter 27 Unexpected News

**Hi everyone! I stayed true to my promise, here's the next chapter. No Joker in here and I'm sorry for that but there is a reference to a Gotham mofia boss if you can find that I will be in complete awe and you will get a MILLION cyber cookies. **

**_Disclaimer: DON'T OWN DC COMIC CHARACTERS!!!!_**

**_This chapter is dedicated to the people who have their life snatched from them suddenly and without reason, for the people who will never have a chance to graduate highschool, marry, live their life. _**

**_No one will ever forget you and your hilarious sense of humor and your ability to make everyone appreciate life. RIP._**

The second the show ended, I left the big top, stalking off to the truck, my mind in a frenzy. I still was shocked from the afternoon and discovering that I'd have to choose between the staying with the circus and enduring Gotham, or leaving and never having to go back to that city again. You can't just leave the circus then come back, it just wasn't done. I opened the door to the truck and tried to slam it, but it didn't budge. I glanced behind me and there stood David, his eyebrow raised. I turned and walked into the truck.

"What's with you tonight?" He asked, following me. "You're acting really distant and pissed off." I glared at him.

"I have a right to be." I hissed. "When were you going to tell me we were heading back to Gotham? When we got there?" David eyebrows furrowed and he crossed his arms.

"What's the problem in the first place? It's just another city, not a good one but what's the big deal?"

"A BIG DEAL!" I yelled furiously, trying to stop myself from grabbing my knife and jabbing it into his stomach right then and there. "If you er _remember_ I was SHOT and almost died the last time I was in that place." David rolled his eyes.

"So? Almost everyone in Gotham's been shot at, I didn't think it mattered that much." I marched right up to David and grabbed his shirt at the collar.

"Well it did you fool, and I'm not going." I hissed venomously. David pushed me away and I relented.

"Your acting like an idiot darlin'." He said smoothly, trying to calm me down. "You're the best knife thrower we ever had, you and the Grayson's are the main attractions, we can't let you leave, think of how much money we'd loose." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Money, money, money that's all you care about. It's stupid and don't think I'll relent just because **you'll** loose money." David frowned and my glared deepened. "To be honest with you, I don't give a shit about you or anyone else in this circus."

"Really? No one?" David asked quietly, a smug smile flitting across his face. He had me.

_Dick_.

"Think of how hurt he'd be if you left darlin', he'd be crushed." I winced but the memories and what would lie ahead if I walked back into that city brushed those emotions away.

"He'll get over it." I said firmly. David shook his head.

"No he won't." I glared at him.

"You can't change my mind David, I am **never** going back to Gotham." I said tightly. David frowned and I could see his greedy brain working overdrive. Finally, he sighed as if I'd won. "Fine then Jewel, I'm not arguing about this any longer. If you don't want to go to Gotham then you're out of the circus and you can figure out how to tell Dick you're leaving." He turned and walked out of the truck and I followed him out, but crossed over to the fire where others were listening to the radio.

I sat down and starred at the greedy flames, my entire body shaking. I pressed gently against the raised bullet scar on the right side of my belly button. I knew what David was trying to do now, make me feel guilty. It wasn't going to work. No, I couldn't go back, I could never go back. What was there for me? What reason or person would be so important that I would go back into that hellhole of a city?

The song on the radio ended and a male voice chimed in.

"Your listening to Gotham 92.3, the best of!" The guy said enthusiastically. I rolled my eyes. Just what I needed, Gotham radio. "Here is Jeffery Coulter with the latest news."

"Thanks Jamie." Said a much deeper male voice. "Just recently a body was found on 52nd street. The police are unsure of the actual identity of the person, due to the excessive deformity but are asking people with loved ones who are missing to call the police immediately and give a full description of the person. And now our top news of today." The man paused and I could hear him shuffling papers. "The Joker has been in captivity for over a year now and yet the many people under his command are still at large and still committing crimes under his command. One particular man always sporting a clown mask with a notable frown painted in blue upon it has been working for the Joker for two years without his identity being revealed. But, recently the police have released both a picture and name of this man, and are asking anyone with information to come forward immediately. The mans name is William Zucco, I repeat William Zucco."

I jerked at the name and glanced at the old radio then looked back at the ground. Naw, that couldn't be my William. I frowned. I never realized that I'd never asked what his last name was. Zucco. Hm….that name…. I shook my head. It didn't matter, that person wasn't William, no it couldn't be. The newscaster cleared his throat and continued. "According to the picture, which can be found on our website the man is tall, approximately 6,2, has blue eyes, short brown hair and a noticeable scar on the right side of his face traveling from the top of his mouth to his hair line. If you have any information whatsoever about this man please call the number 555-62….." At that point, I stopped listening to the radio, playing the description of the man over in my head. Tall, blue eyes, brown hair…William. I shook away my suspicions. I was being ridiculous, William would never work for the Joker, if he had any brains at all he'd have booked it out of Gotham. And, he didn't have a scar on his face.

I stood, leaving the circus grounds. The only way to clear these suspicions would to take a look at the picture. It would take my mind off what the hell I was going to do now without the circus. What harm could it do?

*****

I finally reached an internet café, and after sitting down and putting the money in the machine, I turned to the computer. It was quite slow and I had to wait quite a few minutes, and refuse the offer for coffee twice (I never drank coffee anymore) before the computer finally accessed the internet. By then, I had to put in some more coins and had to wait another ten minutes to get to the website.

When I was finally there I clicked on the link labeled, "Joker Goon story" and a very slow picture began to upload, starting at the head. I saw buzzed mousy colored brown hair first, then the beginning of a scar, starting at the hairline. But, when I saw those eyes, the scar disappeared. It was William. He was turned to the side, so it was hard to see much of him, but I knew those eyes from anywhere. The picture finally finished and I saw him, standing on a deserted street, mask in one hand, the horrible scar on his face. It was William.

*****

I don't know how I got back to the circus without breaking down but I finally stumbled into my truck and collapsed on the bed, trying to keep breathing. William was still in Gotham. William had been hurt. William was working for the…Joker. The fact that William was working with him made me feel like I was being repeatedly clubbed to death with my own arm, it being ripped off from my body. William was in Gotham, William was in danger. I remember my promise and I knew he was one of the only two people left who truly cared for me. I couldn't let him die too. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing, I had to help him! I sat up, shaking from head to toe and raced out of the truck slammed right into Dick Grayson who was standing just outside my door.

"Sorry Dick." I muttered distractedly, glancing at the kid, then double taking. He was looking up at me with watery eyes. I immediately helped him up, checking him for injuries.

"Oh god Dick are you okay, did I hurt you?" I asked worriedly. Dick shook his head.

"No, I'm fine." He said in a small voice. I sighed heavily.

"Then why are you so upset then?" A small tear leaked out of his eye and ran down his cheek.

"I heard David telling Angus you weren't coming with us to Gotham…that you were going to l-leave." A small smile tugged at the corner of my lips. I shook my head, keeping my eyes focused on Dick, the tears now running down his face.

"Oh shit Dick." I muttered, kneeling down and pulling him into an awkward hug. He sobbed, collapsing into my arms and I patted his head awkwardly. "Dick, I was going to leave, but now I'm not okay?" Dick raised his eyes to meet mine, sniffing.

"Really? You're not just lying to me cause I'm a kid and I wouldn't understand?" I gave him a playful shove.

"No I really am going to Gotham with you." I said cheerfully. Dick grinned. "So you're not going to leave the circus?" I forced a smile.

"No buddy, course not." Dick gave me a toothy grin.

"Just wait till I tell everyone!" He yelled excitedly, and took off across the grass. I watched him go, feeling horrible. I didn't like lying to the kid. When we got to Gotham, I'd have to leave. I couldn't just stay with the circus, I needed to find William and get him away before the Joker got out of Arkham. It wasn't like the kid could come along either. He had a family who loved him to death, I'd met them, they were just the kind of parents any kid would want. Loving, kind, caring. Perfect. I wasn't going to pull Dick away from that.

*****

A few hours later, I was back at a more decent internet café, scanning the newspapers of Gotham. Even though I didn't like it, I knew I had to start somewhere. The recent newspapers were mostly rambling on about some of the villains currently on the loose, the eco terrorist Pamela Isley aka Poison Ivy got an entire page for the hostage situation at the chemical plant.

Then, on page two there was some stuff about Arkham Asylum and of course the Joker. According to the article, there had been many reports of some issues with the staff and doctors at the asylum. The citizens had never felt safe about Arkham since Professor Jonathan Crane went crazy and tried to kill the entire city, and the recent reports seemed to be following the same pattern. It was well known that many criminals had attempted to kill their doctors multiple times, the record holder being the Joker who had actually succeeded in killing every one of his psychologists. But, his most recent doctor had been treating him for seven months, the longest anyone had ever gotten.

I glanced at the picture of the doctor. She was pretty young, a little older than me and looked more like some sort of model than a doctor. She had bottle blonde hair, blue eyes and large circle rimmed glasses that looked like she was trying to seem smarter than she was. Harleen Quinzel. I smirked. Funny name. Harleen Quinzel, Harley Quinn……_Harlequi_n. I shook my head furiously and continued to read.

Apparently the newspapers were going crazy over how long she'd been treating him. It just wasn't normal. People were saying she was in cahoots with him, that she was in fact working for the Joker. Some said she was already dead and Arkham was just hiding it by having someone look like her. I didn't see why in the world the Joker would bother with her in the first place. Sure she had an interesting name but what else was there? Still….that look in her eyes….there wasn't something right about girl, it looked like there never had been and with the Joker in play, you can be sure he's done all he could to bring that out.

*****

The next day we started on the road trip back to Gotham. We got about 10 hours from the city and had to stop, stopping at a park to sleep over. The second the cars were parked, Dick dragged me out of the truck and forced me to set up all the bull's-eyes for some knife throwing practice.

After an hour or so, the little yellow, red and green pocketknife flew straight into the bull's-eye, hitting it perfectly. I turned to Dick who had a wide smile on his face. Next second He flew into my arms and I fell to the ground.

"I did it I did it!" He yelled, hugging me. "Thank-you Thank-you Thank-you!" I sat up, rolling my eyes good naturally.

"Thank me when you can hit it every time Dick." I said getting up. "But yes, you did do it. Very well too." I retrieved the pocket knife and unsheathed some of the other knives from my costume.

"Now," I said. "We drill till it's perfect." Dick nodded enthusiastically and grabbed one of the knives, positioning himself. Soon, he wouldn't even have to think about it, throwing the knife would feel like breathing. The knife flew through the air and I smiled as it hit just off to the bull's-eye. I then turned to the other bulls eye's all around the clearing we'd made. I breathed in and began. Knife after knife flew through the air as I pivoted, the sharp blades hitting all the bulls-eyes. One after the other I pulled the knives out of the pockets in my costume and they flowed from my hand to the mark like water. I glanced at Dick, who had stopped and was watching me with his mouth open. That made the corners of my mouth turn up a little. The last knife smacked into the mark and I turned, breathing heavily to Dick. He clapped his hands eagerly.

"That was so cool Jewel!" He exclaimed excitedly. I smiled, walking towards the marks.

"Thanks buddy." I replied. Dick followed behind me as I retrieved and sheathed each knife.

"Hey Jewel, you know what would be even cooler?" Dick asked after a minute.

"What."

"If you did acrobatics too." I turned to Dick and he continued. "I could show you Jewel how to do some tricks. They're really easy and lot's of fun!" I nodded slowly. If I was able to flips and cartwheels that would help me in dodging and escaping and god knows I'll be doing a lot of that in Gotham.

"Would you teach me Dick?" I asked. Dick nodded gleefully and grabbed my hand. I flinched surprised, but allowed him to guide me over to a patch of grass to practice. These emotions in me bothered me, just like the very different emotions for William had. In the end I guess, sometimes the scariest things aren't the homicidal clown who happens to be your father, or the fact that an entire city wants you arrested, it's the fact that you would do anything, even risk your own life for some special people….sometimes caring is the scariest thing of them all.

* * *

**I found this one to be a little rushed, maybe cause I need Julia to get back to Gotham but you guys are the judges! **

**Oh and a hint about the Gotham mafia boss, the reference is someones last name. Also, this gangster/mafia boss is VERY famous in the Batman world for doing something very horrible. Not a very good hint but maybe if you review I'll tell you who it is and how it's going to relate to the story!!!! Next chapter will be up as soon as I can.**

* * *


	28. Chapter 28 Trapezes

**After all those wonderful reviews I was on cloud nine for the entire week and worked so much on the story, that my friends actually threatened an intervention! Sadly though, I didn't work on this chapter till like yesterday, I spent the entire week working on the chapters after this one!! But, I am VERY please with what is to come and I really hope you all are too! This chapter has a lot going on, so if you have any misconceptions send me a message and I'll explain!**

_**Disclaimer: What? Of course I don't own the DC comic characters? Who ever told you that?**_

* * *

Those few precious moments teaching and learning with Dick ended all too soon when the city of Gotham engulfed us. The buildings rose above the truck as we drove along the street, the sky dark with clouds. I pressed my face against the window as the rain poured down, just like the first time I'd ever come to the city. It made the place seem gloomier, darker.

I sighed and faced the front, glancing at David, who was driving the truck. He looked very tight-lipped and I knew exactly why. Gotham wasn't the best place for a circus to go, for many reasons. One of them was that many just didn't have the money and some were too scared to go to big functions for the likely fact that some sort of costumed villain would swoop in. The final reason was quite obvious, they didn't want anything to do with clowns, the city was full of them already. But, for some reason our ringleader just had to come back to take care of some business and that pissed off a lot of people.

To me, it was just a free ride and Dick was ecstatic that he could see where I'd come from. David had told him **WITHOUT** my permission that I had been living in Gotham when I joined the circus and since Dick had only been six he hadn't really remembered it. Anyway, I was glad his parents made him ride with them and he didn't sit in our car. I can just hear him asking question after question, not even bothering to breathe.

"Hey Jewel did you ever see Batman I would so love to see Batman just once it'd be so cool and James would be so jealous of me he said he saw Superman in Metropolis but we all saw him he's not hard to see but Batman is like really hard to find oh have you ever seen him fight someone or seen his car and what about his belt wow it's so cool…." I smiled fondly as the truck came to a stop in the middle of the very same park. My smile faded. A cold shiver ran along my spine. We were here.

*****

The week that we were in Gotham started off fine, with two shows a day that were well attended until about the second day when news of the Jokers escape from Arkham shocked the city. This resulted in a very large decrease of attendees and me rethinking my plans after I left the circus. It was going to be a lot harder getting to William with the Joker out in the first place and let me tell you if I was a nervous wreck before, I was a nuclear bomb explosion now.

But, the rest of the week went by with no hitches, except for our dwindling audience. I spent every waking minute with Dick, knowing it may be the last time I ever see him. Then, the final performance loomed. This time the big top was packed, but not because of us. Bruce Wayne had contacted our ringleader and asked if we would be the entertainment for the Wayne Foundation charity event. It would start off at the circus, and then go on to a large and alcohol-a-plenty party at his house. We were getting paid handsomely for the event so everyone was happy….except me. Tonight, I'd leave and I'd never see Dick again. I didn't want to hurt him, but I had no choice and that made it even worse. So, after I did my part of the show and the Grayson's were up, I stayed in the big top to watch them, to see Dick a final time. Just a few minutes before they were going up on the trapezes Dick ran over to me, his eyes wide.

"Jewel remember when I saw that man talking to Angus, and they were arguing a lot?" I nodded. About three days ago a fishy looking man had come to the circus and had a shouting match with our ringleader. Something about making the circus even better and in Angus's opinion the man was trying to extort us, so he sent him away. Dick looked around nervously.

"Well I saw him again, he was here with two other guys and they were near the equipment and the trapezes before we put them up!" I rolled my eyes. Dick had been speculating 24/7 since he saw this man yelling at the ringleader. He kept telling me the man was up to something.

"Dick stop being ridiculous." I snapped irritably. "The guys harmless, didn't you see him? He's a stick, all arms and legs, not a muscle on him." Dick shook his head.

"No Jewel I really think he—"

"Dick, come on!" His mother called. I pushed him towards her.

"We'll talk about it later ok?" I said reassuringly. Dick opened his mouth to say one more thing but the music started and after a second of deliberation he raced after his parents.

I leaned against the wall, watching the Grayson's climb up the poles. Dick and his mother stood together on one, his father on the other. In the middle hung three trapezes, the beginning of their act. Dick's father leaped from the podium and grabbed onto the first trapeze, swinging through the air. His mother bowed to the audience then jumped, grabbing on to her trapeze. I glanced at Dick and saw even from here, a bright smile stretching across his face. He loved this. His father let go of his trapeze and flipped through the air, grabbing on to the middle trapeze at the last second. The audience gasped with delight and even I found myself astounded.

Dick's mother swung back and jumped from her trapeze, towards her husband. Just before she grabbed onto his hands, I glanced at Dick and instead of glee, I saw horror. His shout of "NO!" echoed around the big top as his mother grabbed his father's hands and the ropes holding the third trapeze up snapped in half, sending his startled parents to the ground. The big top was silent, you could have heard a pin drop. It was broken by the quiet sobs of Dick, as he collapsed to his knees on the podium.

I broke through the crowd of people beginning to push towards the crumpled Grayson's on the ground and began to climb up the pole as fast as I could. All I could think of was Dick. He was my thought every breath I took, every step I climbed to reach him. Finally I reached the stop and scrambled towards Dick. He looked up at me as I came towards me, and collapsed into my arms. He grabbed frantically at me as I pulled him close, his nails digging into my costume. His sobs shook his entire body; I had never seen someone so distressed, so hopeless. I rocked him quietly, tears beginning to run down my face, not for his parents, but for him. Every sob that wracked his body wracked mine. I cared about him so much it hurt me as he grieved.

"Why." He whispered suddenly. All I could hear was his voice. "Why." He said again even quieter.

"I don't know." I replied softly. "I don't know."

****

I sat with Dick, both of us covered in a blanket from the Gotham police. They'd given Dick a mug of hot chocolate and I was busy trying to get him to drink it. I wasn't aware of anything else but him, I just wanted his pain to go away so badly. I didn't even look up when the police came up to get us or when they tried to ask me a question. I didn't even react when Commissioner Gordon walked into the big top. But, when I heard his voice, everything came zooming back into focus.

"Where's the boy?" I tensed and Dick looked up at me.

"Jewel?" He asked morosely. I looked around the big top and my eyes zeroed in on Gordon. Immediately I ducked my head down.

"Dick buddy, I'd sorry I need to go for a minute." I said hurriedly. Dick immediately latched onto me.

"No!" He cried loudly. "I can't have you go too!" I heard footsteps coming towards us.

"Are you Richard Grayson?" Gordon asked Dick. Dick ignored him, just continued to hug me while I had a minor panic attack. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I tensed.

"Miss? I'm sorry about your loss but we need to ask you and the boy some questions. Are you his guardian?" I tried to hide behind my hair as I turned to answer his question. Only problem was it barely reached past my chin and was so puffy that it didn't do much good.

"Uh, yes I am, but I really need to go and check on something….I'll be back in a minute."

"NO!" Dick screamed. I pulled him off of me, my hair flying all over the place and locked eyes with Gordon. I saw the immediate alarm on his face then booked it, new tears running down my face. Dick's screams of "Jewel!" echoed behind me.

**Gordon**

Was it her? I'd only seen her face for a second, but one look at those dark brown eyes, almost like black holes sent the memories flying back. I'd immediately followed, reassuring the other officers there it was okay and getting one of them to try to calm down the boy, who was trying to follow her. It wouldn't do to try to corner Julia Samuels (if it was her), she'd get scared and do something we'd all regret.

I walked past the many trucks camped along the area and came to one with a sword painted on its side. Before I even went near the truck, the door banged open and a man with black hair came flying out. He slammed the door behind him and stalked off angrily. I then approached the door and knocked. I heard shuffling, the door opened and the girl stood there still clad in uniform, tears streaking down her face.

"Daniel, I told you I don't want to….oh." She starred at me for a second, and then slammed the door, not before I got a good look at her. It was Julia Samuels, back from the dead. I hammered on the door.

"Julia, come out. I don't want to hurt you, I just want to talk. To help." The door flew open and before I could move a knife came flinging out of nowhere, hitting my jacket and pinning me to the tree behind me. She came out of the truck, another knife in her hand, eyes blazing with fury.

"No." She hissed. "Your lying. I don't need your help. It hasn't done me any fucking good." I watched her, carefully taking the knife out of the tree.

"Julia, please calm down I just can't believe you're alive we were so worried about you we—"

"WE?" She shrieked her voice high and shaky. She took a deep breath and continued more quietly. "Who are the 'we' you're talking about Gordon?" I fixed my jacket.

"Batman and I." I said earnestly.

"Yeah, worried as in 'oh shit we need to get her into the loony bin before she really starts acting like the old man'." She sniffed, throwing the knife so it went so close to my head it cut off some hairs. I stifled a gasp. The girl had really grown in the past few years. Now…well she'd be a match for anyone with those knife throwing skills, even Batman. I could see the muscles on her now more lanky body, the defensive stance she was in. She'd filled out a bit more, too, and she was a bit more attractive then before. But, there was something about her, the look on her face that made you want to turn in the opposite direction and run as fast as you could. Her shoulders were permanently hunched now, like a dog raising its hackles and she had a feral look on her face, her teeth were bared so she actually looked a little bit like a wolf.

"You know that's not true." I persisted. "We do care, even..."

_Would this work?_

"Even he cared." Her entire body tightened and she looked at me, her eyes wild and uncontrollable, knife ready to throw.

"What?"

"He cared Julia," I continued. "The city was searched from top to bottom for you; we were following him the entire time. He left quite a large amount of debris in his path." She made a face, but her eyes remained hopeful.

"If you're lying, I swear on my life I'll peel off your skin and shove it inside you." She hissed venomously.

"No, it's true. According to Arkham Asylum, when he was under the drugs and asleep, he'd mutter things, about you. He'd call for you." Of course, I didn't mention the many times he'd mutter about what he'd do to punish Julia if she ever came back, or the drawings he'd carved into the wall of her writhing in pain on the ground. I didn't think it would do much harm; all that mattered was that Julia calmed down. It worked.

Her eyes widened and it was if a transformation was made. A tiny little childlike smile spread on her lips.

"Is that really true?" She asked politely.

"Yes." I lied. "When Batman finally cornered and him and brought him to the station, he was mocking all of us, stroking this little pocketknife." She giggled softly.

"That's my pocket knife." She said sweetly. "I gave it to him and he kept it!" She laughed happily, a bright smile on her tear streaked face. This was the reason I hadn't called for backup, the girl was so unstable, so prone to complete emotion changes that she'd overreact and hurt someone. This way it would be a lot easier. I reached forwards to pat her on the back and she immediately tensed, everything about her changing.

"You're here to take me in aren't you?" She growled, and it was almost as if her eyes darkened. The man from before walked into the clearing.

"Jewel darling, I heard a…" He trailed off when he saw me and Julia bolted into the trailer. I ran towards the door but that man tripped me, and I was sent to the ground, feeling like a complete idiot. He started to come to me, put I pulled out my badge and flashed it in his face.

"One more step and I'll charge you for assaulting an officer." He froze immediately and I broke the flimsy door down, only to see the tiny window open. I ran back outside but it was too late. She was gone. For now.

One thing I was sure, Julia Samuels was back in Gotham city and there was only one person she was going to find.

**Julia**

I ran as fast as I could, lugging the leather belt that held my entire collection of knives, until my lungs burned and I couldn't take another step. Then I walked along the alleyways of the Narrows, my mind whirling with thoughts. Dick was back there, alone and distraught but I couldn't go back. I was going to have the entire police brigade and…..a light flickered into the sky, a silhouette of a bat. Right on time. At least I wouldn't have any clowns coming after me, well at least not yet. I didn't know what to do anymore. On one hand I wanted to get William out, rescue him from the Joker and leave Gotham forever, maybe taking Dick too, but then what Gordon had said took over.

_He cared Julia._

It felt as if those words pulled me out of the dark, made me feel as light and as free as a feather. Maybe, he'd changed! Maybe he cared about me and wanted to be a real father. The many drawings from my journal that I'd sketched of a kid of my father tucking me in at night, buying me ice cream and telling me he loved me floated around my mind. I sighed happily. I wanted it to be true so badly that it hurt, so badly that I actually thought it was.

When I got to the old warehouse, I climbed up the stairs and the ladder into that little room and saw that it was all still intact; all I could think of was how happy my father would be to see me. I curled up on the moth eaten and moldy blankets, a big smile on my tear stained face. Tomorrow night I'd go and find my father and it would be the happiest reunion ever.

_If only Gordon had told the truth._

* * *

**Okay, for those of you a little confused about why someone would sabotage the Grayson's, you can either wait a little longer till it's all explained in the story, or you can Google Tony Zucco, the man responsible. Either way you'll find out everything you need to know. **

**By the way, the next chapter is practically done, except for the beginning and (gasp) Joker's back baby!!! Of course, I'm really nervous about it, especially the little part Harley plays. Which is why I want your advice. In my opinion you can't put the Harley from the animated series in here, this isn't the right Joker for her. Of course, I still want to keep her bubbly personality, mixed with a little bit more lethalness. She's a cold blooded killer. Let me remind you this isn't her story, so I'm not going too deep into her character. I am thinking of some sort of sluty red and black piece, ****kind of**** ( let me stress that)****like what she looks like in that new Batman game ****Arkham Asylum****. Of course, this is where you come in. If you have any ideas for Harls, tell me and I'll totally take it into consideration.**

** So, please review on your opinions and what you thought of this chapter AND any ideas you have if you have any at all. You guys are awesome and I can't wait to post the next chapter! **


	29. Chapter 29 Scars

**Here it is ladies and gentlemen....JOKERS BACK! Wow, I made that a lot more climatic than it should of been. **

**_Disclaimer: DON'T OWN!!!! Except, of course for the non DC comic book characters!_**

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

I slept almost the entire day, and when I finally woke up the sun was just beginning to set. I sat myself by the window, sharpening my knives, making sure each one was perfect before I put it away. Then, I searched the room and found my duffel bag under the desk. I pulled out a pair of worn jeans and a dark purple t-shirt. The only clothes I had, other than my circus costume and purple pea coat. I put them on over my costume and after pulling on my boots and purple pea coat, I buckled my leather belt holding all of my knives to my waist and climbed out the window.

I searched for a bar with a TV, hoping to get information on Dick. That was the one thing I could actually figure out. I needed to know how he was. Then….well then I'd actually have to figure out what I was going to do next. I wandered into a shabby looking bar, seated myself near the television, then did a double take around the room. Huh. I was in the same bar, pretty much the same seat that I'd sat three years ago when the Joker had broadcasted his face all over Gotham and demanded that I come to him or he would kill a whole school of children. It was odd really, how one was drawn to the places with the worst memories.

I accepted the beer from the bartender and drank it fast, letting myself drown in my sorrows. I watched the television as the bar emptied. When it was just me and two other men, I asked the bartender to turn up the news. Luckily, he complied, and ignoring the looks of the men sitting farther down the bar from me, I waited for some news of Dick. Finally, after the newsman finished discussing the urgent news of today, he started on the police investigations.

"Yesterday evening just outside the Narrows, two acrobats from the Haly Circus were killed when their equipment was sabotaged. John and Mary Grayson were victims of yet another attempt to control and extort different money making businesses by Mafia boss Tony Zucco. The police released today that due to Mr. Hayward Angus, owner of the circus's rebuttal of Zucco's offer to take charge of the circus and use it to make even more money by dealing in illegal drug trades, Zucco took revenge on the circus and killed of one of their most popular attractions, the flying Grayson's. Richard Grayson, son of John and Mary Grayson survived the attempt and after discussion both with child support and the police, it has been determined that multi billionaire Bruce Wayne will take in the child until something else is decided or not at all. This surprising change in Wayne's usual conceited playboy attitude is surprising, but not unlikely due to Wayne's loss of his parents at the age of eight. Many think that he feels for the young boy and hope that Wayne is finally starting to take on the characteristics of his parents. In other news…"

I looked down at my empty bottle of beer. I'd honestly forgotten how many I'd drunk. This wasn't like me at all, I didn't like the fuzzy feeling alcohol gave me. Bleah. I eyed television angrily. I didn't care that Gordon had kept my return to Gotham hidden. I couldn't believe Bruce Wayne, **Bruce Wayne** got Dick. He didn't deserve him, that kid was too good for him. I pounded the table angrily and the two men a few seats down from me looked at me questionably. Then, they looked at each other and got off their seats, heading out the door. As they past me I heard one of them speak.

"You're right Nick, we better be getting back. Boss has been pretty scary ever since he got out of Arkham." My eyes widened. Arkham. Joker. Gordon's words ran through me.

He cared Julia. I stood, stumbling slightly and followed the men out the door.

So this is what being drunk is like. I thought, as I wandered after the men. After about twenty minutes of walking, they stopped and waited for me to catch up to them.

"What the hell are you doing?" The man with bright blonde hair asked, his eyes raking up and down up my body. I smiled.

"You work for the Joker?" I asked cheerfully. The men eyed me with alarm and instantly one of them pulled out a gun. My head cleared slightly and I crossed my arms.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." I said dangerously. "Pretty sure the Joker wants me alive." The men laughed at me.

"And why would he want you alive?" The man with a pedophile looking beard asked.

"Because I'm Julia Samuels." I said simply. The men looked at me with alarm. Of course they knew my name. Everyone in this god dam city knew it. After a second of silence, the blonde haired man laughed.

"Yeah, and I'm the Batman. What do you think we are, idiots?"

"Pretty much." I said irritably. The blonde haired man glared at me venomously, but the pedophile beard man put and arm on his shoulder.

"Kevin, chill. This chick's insane." I giggled and stumbled slightly.

"Not going to argue with you there!" I said happily. The men looked at me incredulously and I frowned. "But I really am her."

"Prove it." Said Blondie. I sighed.

"First of all, who honestly would ever pretend to be Julia Samuels?" I said irritably. "Oh and also…"my knife flew out of my coat pocket and the men tensed. I grinned widely and they starred at me, shock on their faces.

"Whose going to argue with someone able to throw this knife right into your heart before you even pull the trigger? Oh and you can be sure I have 30 something knives to throw at the other person. So….. what are you thinking?" The pedophile beard man kept the gun aimed at my head and the Blondie also pulled out a gun. I pocketed my knife.

"We're thinking we just got ourselves a ticket to not getting killed in the next month." The blonde haired man said grinning happily. I smiled and we continued down the street.

****

After about twenty minutes, we stopped outside a warehouse. We walked inside, passing quite a few other henchmen, these ones wearing clown masks. Suddenly, I was reminded of why I'd come to Gotham in the first place. William. I looked around for him, but no blue eyes greeted me. Instead, we walked into a large room with a fridge, big table, and a dingy television. The blonde haired man went and spoke with a couple of the men with guns. They instantly all looked at me with shock and aimed their guns at my head.

"Take out all of your weapons." The pedophile beard man said. I smirked. I pulled off my leather belt and dropped it to the ground, unsheathed all the knives from my costume, pulled the ones from my pocket, the tiny one hidden in my hair, and the ones up my sleeve. Then I pulled out all of the knives except for one in my boot, hoping the men wouldn't check. Finally I pulled out my gun and dropped it on top of the pile of metal. The goons stared at me with shock, then the blonde haired man shook his head and grabbed my arm. I instantly grabbed his opposite arm and flipped him onto his back, pinning him down.

"Don't touch me Blondie." I hissed. I turned to the pedophile bearded man.

"Lead the way." I said cheerfully while I silently cursed to myself. I was never drinking again. They showed me into a small stone room with a metal table in the middle. Then, they left the room, locking the door behind them. I rubbed my forehead, trying to come to my senses. I didn't know what I was doing. What if he didn't want me to come back, what if he was the same as before? What if Gordon had lied? And then what? How would I get William out of here with the Joker right in front of me? The door suddenly opened and for a second, I thought it was the Joker, the way the young woman's make-up was on her face. She walked, no skipped in, the door shutting behind her. Then she leaned against the table and glared at me.

I eyed the woman standing opposite me in the tiny room. She was tiny and petite, with bright blonde hair in high pingtails and pretty blue eyes underneath long eyelashes. Her face was covered in make-up similar to the Jokers and she wore some sort of sluty top barely covering her chest and not at all covering her midriff and a skirt which gave you clear view of her ass. She wore knee high leather boots, and everything was red and black. I watched as she blew a huge bubble and popped it, looking at me with hostility. I hummed softly to myself, the old haunting circus tune filling the room while I starred in awe and curiosity at this odd looking woman. Finally, she opened her mouth.

"Who are you?" I stopped humming and folded my arms, giving her an intimidating stare.

"I was actually going to ask you the same question." She shrank back at my glare and popped another bubble.

"Names Harley Quinn." She drawled in some kind of a Brooklyn accent. My ears perked up and I moved closer towards her.

"Harleen Quinzel?" I asked softly. She cocked her head at me, grinning.

"No more!" I clenched my fists. What had he done?

"Why?" I whispered softly.

"Why not?" She giggled. "And how do you know my name?" I just starred at her stonily. She frowned.

"Now look here whoever you are, Mista J is mine, so don't you even think about it." That did it. I began to laugh uncontrollably, my whole body shaking. Harley eyed me with confusion as I clutched my stomach, bending over.

"You….honestly think……oh my god…" I said in between uncontrollable giggles. I heard the door open and continued to laugh, tears streaming as I straightened, meeting the maniacal grin of the Joker with one of my own. I glanced at his eyes and looked away quickly. They were the darkest I'd ever seen them. He was angry, wait poor word, he was livid. Uh oh.

_It's okay, he's probably just angry at the clown girl_.

"Thought you were dead." He drawled at me calmly. His eyes told me otherwise.

_Oh shit. He's furious with you. _

"Wish you were." I replied smoothly, hiccupping and finally getting myself under control. I heard another bubble being popped.

"You know her?" Harley asked angrily, a frown on her pretty face. The Joker completely ignored her.

"Knew you wouldn't die from a simple bullet wound sweetheart. That's just too uh…easy." I smirked. Keep the conversation light Julia.

"Oh believe me, I was almost done for. Swear I saw hell itself or at least I saw the spot they had reserved for you." He let loose a short laugh, and I saw his hands had begun to shake with fury.

"Surprised to see me though?" I asked smugly. He arched an eyebrow.

"Uh more surprised to see that I didn't have to go and find you myself. Change of mind in showing up here sweetheart?" I just glared at him and he sighed dramatically. Suddenly, he frowned and his entire body started to shake. He was done pretending. It was then I knew that Gordon had lied and I was in trouble.

"Harley _**go**_." He snarled. Harley opened her mouth to complain but the Joker backhanded her across the room without a glance. She sniffed and slinked out the door like a beaten puppy and I watched as she shut it, the lock clicking. I glanced back at the Joker and stifled a whimper. After all these years the second I looked at him, I cowered. He stalked towards me as I tried to get it together.

"Do you er understand how much trouble you are in?" He growled, his black eyes like holes. "I thought you were er dead and you didn't have a _thought_ to come back?"

"Last time I checked, I wouldn't have come back even if you didn't think I was dead." I replied as coolly as I could. Before I could even move his hands closed around my throat backing me up against the wall. I grabbed at his hands frantically, my brain instantly clearing from the fuzzy feeling the alcohol had given me. Odd how life threatening situations did that to you.

"Julia sweetheart do you have er any **idea** what you did? Do you not understand that you uh _belong_ to me?" My feet rose off the ground as I struggled and shook my head.

"I….don't belong…to you." I rasped. The Joker smiled pityingly at me.

"Yes sweetheart you do. You are uh my daughter and there-fore….. _**belong-to-me**_." The Joker said quietly like he was telling this to a child. "I don't like it when my toys run away sweetheart…**not one bit**." My eyesight began to go fuzzy; I couldn't concentrate on his voice.

"….Breathe….can't…" I tried. The Joker huffed and let go of me, sending me crashing to the ground. I lay curled at his feet, my hands at my neck, gasping for precious air. He looked down at me with eyes full of hate. I couldn't move, I just lay across his feet, my entire body shaking.

_Come on get up_. I told myself.

"Sweetheart, three years doesn't make any difference….you're still the same, pathetic, stupid, and weak girl you were before."

_Get up._ I growled at myself. I slowly rose to my feet and once I stood up straight the Joker rolled his eyes at me and backhanded me across the room. I flew straight into the table and crumpled to the ground, my side burning with pain. I tried to roll away from the footsteps coming towards me but two hands grabbed me and pulled me off the ground.

"Shush." The Joker whispered too me as I whimpered, trying to pull away but wincing in pain. "Shush little girl, shush sweetheart." He said endearingly. I glanced at his face and saw his eyes were filled with excitement, with anticipation. I heard the soft flick of a knife being slid open and I screamed, pushing away. The Joker dropped me onto the table and pinned my hands down. I still continued to kick in a panic to get away, away from that knife.

"Hey." The Joker growled. "Hey. Whatever I'm er going to do is going to hurt a lot more if I miss." I stopped moving and glanced down at my hands pinned to the table. I couldn't fight this. I could barely breathe, my side was killing me and my head was spinning. I looked up at the Joker's face, trying to plead with him with my eyes. The Joker smirked at me.

"That's my girl." He drawled, bringing the knife into my view. It was my pocket knife.

* * *

**Joker**

I saw the horror in her eyes, in her face and drank it in. She was back, my favorite little toy was back where she belonged and I was going to make sure I never lost her again. I brought the pocketknife up to her mouth and her eyes widened in terror. I chuckled softly.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm not going to ruin that pretty little face of yours." I hissed. I ran the side of the small blade along her arm, pausing at her forearm. I turned her wrist around so her palm was facing upwards and rolled up her sleeve, exposing her skin.

"Please…" she whispered when I pressed the knife on her arm. "If you…I can never escape, I'll always have to keep this forever."

"Exactly." I said. She just didn't get how much of an inconvenience it was for her to leave and I was going to make sure that it never happened again. Even if she did try, she could never escape. I knew Julia, she'd come crawling back.

"Now sweetheart, I'm not sure if you're er aware but there are quite a few veins here and if you move even a bit uh…" Julia looked up at me, her eyes beginning to water. She closed them and turned her head.

"Good girl." I began.

She tried hard not to scream but after the second letter she was shrieking with pain as her warm blood oozed and stained my purple gloves. Then I was done. I wiped the pocketknife across her face and patted her head. Then I leaned down.

"Here's the uh deal sweetheart. Every time you try to leave, I'll carve another one on your other arm.....and if you leave again, maybe on your back or your forehead. You're not going to leave any more are you sweetheart?" Her sobs reduced to sniffling and she leaned against my gloved hand resting on her cheek.

"I thought you cared." She whispered. I withdrew my hand and she brought up her crimson arm so she could see what was written there. I didn't pause to look at her reaction; I simply left the room, locking it behind me. Her pathetic cries of "why?" echoed through the warehouse. I didn't see what the problem was. She wasn't going anywhere ever again, she was my toy and I was keeping her under lock and key. And now I'd made sure that everyone knew who she belonged to.

_Joker. _

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

I don't know how long I lay on the table, letting the blood stain into my worn clothes, my eyes trying to look anywhere but my right arm. I couldn't help it. I looked down at the bloody mess of an arm and, ripping off a part of my shirt, wiped away the blood. Before it began to ooze slowly out again, I saw the letters carved into my skin. _Joker_. I clutched at the cuts on my arm, ignoring the pain and thrashed about, screaming in anger, sadness, and hopelessness. I rolled off the table and fell to the cement ground, yelping in pain. I knew I couldn't think straight so I simply grabbed the ripped part of my shirt, wrapped it around my arm, mainly so I wouldn't have to look at it and let myself drift away into nothingness, trying to think of Dick and me practicing gymnastics and William at the coffee shop, Mom and me watching movies. I tried, I really did, but it didn't work. All I saw was my arm and the bleeding letters carved into my skin that spelled Joker.

* * *

**Well, leave me a review and tell me your thoughts on it, hopefully the Joker's in character, it's hard to get back into the swing of writing him!**


	30. Chapter 30 Harley

**Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all the reviews and sorry I wasn't able to reply to them, its been pretty busy lately! Anyway, please read and review!**

**_Disclaimer: Don't own any DC comic characters!_**

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

When I woke up, my entire brain was fuzzy with the loss of blood. I sat up, and glanced down at my clothes. I was lucky that the purple was so dark. The blood had dried but if I washed it you wouldn't be able to see the stains. I sat up groggily, trying as hard as I could to remember what had happened last night, other then the Joker and a hell of a lot of blood. Suddenly, I remembered. The pain, the cuts…_the cuts_. I looked down at my arm. It was completely bandaged, not covered in my ripped piece of t-shirt. I glanced beside me and saw my ripped piece of purple t-shirt red with dried blood lying on the ground. I slowly undid the bandages from my arm and eyed the stitching, wincing at the letters they formed, the name it spelt. Joker.

Someone had come in here and stitched up the _oohh so lovely _gashes the Joker had forever scratched on my arm. I ran my fingers along the stitches and winced. Ouch. That was stupid. I re-wrapped the bandages the person had considerably given me to hide the scars and slowly stood up. I raised my eyebrows at the blood stained ground, staggering a bit. Wow, I'd lost a lot of blood.

I looked around the room, to see if maybe I could get any clues as to who this person was, who had decided to risk their life and bandage my arm and who could actually do that in the first place. One thing I was sure was that the Joker wasn't going to be too happy anyone (god forbid) made my life a little easier. My eyes focused in on the table, where a piece of raisin bread lay on a plate, and a slip of paper and a beer sat on the table. I picked the paper up and read the bubbly lettering on it.

_Hope you like your breakfast. Feel better soon!! :)_

Oh god. My benefactor dotted her i's with hearts. Perfect. I picked up the plate and hurled it at the wall, then threw the beer at the door. Hopefully someone would walk in, slip on the beer, and get some glass in their head.

They could have given me scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns and freshly squeezed orange juice and I would have done the same thing. Does this person honestly think that a bottle of beer and some stupid bread would make the gashes on my arm permanently disappear? What about the pain and complete frustration I felt of being held down, branded for life by my own father, then left to bleed to death? By stitching me up they just made these gashes a reality. I crawled onto the table and hugged my knees to my chest and pulled one of the knives out of my boot, the one the goons had forgotten to grab. Then, I glared at the handle. Next person to walk in here got a knife in the groin.

****

I sat there for god knows when until, all of a sudden, the handle turned and a goon walked into the room. A half a millisecond later he yelled with pain and crumpled to the ground, a knife in his crotch. I grinned gleefully, then frowned at the Joker, standing behind the man now whimpering on the floor. It looked like he'd just been talking to a good beside him, his head turned to me, his eyebrow raised. He glanced down at the sobbing goon on the ground and back at me.

"Huh."

The Joker stepped over him. I leapt off the table and backed away from him.

"Morning sweetheart." He said mockingly. "Got up on the er wrong side of the bed today?"

"Come any closer and I'll gouge your eyes out." I hissed. The Joker laughed.

"Oh sweetheart I—" His black eyes zoomed in on the bandages on my arm.

"Hmm." He said darkly. He grabbed my arm and I tried to jerk away, but when his eyes started to blacken, I let him. He ripped off the bandages so fast I barely had time to complain and then he took one look at the stitches on my arm and slammed me into the wall. When I next looked up he was gone, but not his voice.

"HARLEY!"

The next second, all the goons had scattered and the room was empty, (except for the sobbing man on the ground) door wide open. I took my knife out of the man reduced to whimpered baby like noises and walked out the door. I stood in the warehouse, listening to doors slam shut and the high pitched screaming of a young woman, followed by loud thuds. I didn't think about leaving, not with the fact that I was light-headed from blood loss and that William was still here. Oddly enough, I was feeling pretty angry with the Joker, not because of the fact that he just gouged his name into my arm but that I'd been gone for three years and the next second he was off giving attention to someone else, never mind that it was a punishment.

I stalked through the warehouse, where a couple men were sitting on a couch watching TV, and sat down. They all instantly scooted away from me. I rolled my eyes and drummed my fingers impatiently, waiting for the Joker to finish with miss who gives a shit. A normal person would of felt pretty guilty that someone was getting punished due to them, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the fact that I was stuck here and my rescue mission for William had been an utter fail.

Suddenly, the screams turned to moaning and grunts. I instantly stood up, slightly revolted. I really didn't need to hear this. The Joker shouldn't hold any control over me. Sure, I was pretty much stuck here, but that didn't mean I couldn't fight back a bit. The men simply turned up the TV, they seemed pretty oblivious to it, more concerned with me standing there with a bloody knife. It seemed to go on forever, and I felt like I was going to vomit. I marched over to one of the goons and pointed at his gun.

"Can I borrow that for a sec?" He looked at me like I was crazy. I sighed and punched him in the nose, grabbed his gun and walked towards the door. The blonde haired goon from before moved to stop me from leaving but I turned and walked up the iron staircase till I got to the door the moaning was coming from. I took aim and shot the gun at the door.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, shooting the door again. Then, I turned and walked back down the staircase, tossed the gun back to its bleeding owner and sat on the couch. It worked. The moaning stopped and the door banged open. The men instantly scattered to opposite sides of the room, watching me with anticipation. Must be fun to watch other people get beat up. I grabbed the remote and turned it on, flipping through the channels.

I heard the door open and slam and the Joker limped down the stairs. I laughed gleefully. Oh god, I'd shot him through a door! I grinned from ear to ear. Harley ran after him down the stairs, trying to fix her skirt, bleeding from the scratches on her arms and clutching her side. She wasn't wearing any clown make-up and her eyes were puffy from crying. The way she was holding herself, I knew she was in a hell of a lot of pain

"You okay pudding'?" She asked, so much concern in her voice as she tried to breathe from her bruised ribs. Compared to her, the Joker looked fine. The Joker turned to her, licking his lips furiously.

"Well, let's think about that _**Harley-doll**_." He hissed. "I just got shot in the uh leg. DO YOU **THINK** I'M OKAY?" Harley cowered away from him and he pivoted and shot one of the goons across the room, and the guy with the bleeding nose collapsed to the ground, bleeding a heck of a lot more.

The Joker limped over to where the fridge was and grabbed some gauze from the top, wrapping it around his leg. Looked like the bullet had just grazed it. Harley hovered around, looking actually frightened for him, while blood slowly oozed from a cut on her head. It wasn't until the Joker stenched the blood flow that he saw me sitting there, watching television. I heard him walk over to me, but I ignored him, just turned up the volume on the television.

"What are you doing?" The Joker said quietly. I raised my eyebrows but didn't look away from the television.

"Watching TV. What else do you think I'm going to do? Take off? Start a new life and get a job?" I let loose short laugh. "Oh yeah, I can see it now, the job interview." I put on a lower, male voice

"What's that scar on your arm?" I cleared my throat.

"oh my father just cut his name on my arm. It's no big; he's just a mad psychopath who could maybe be oh a little bit quieter when he's fucking his girlfriend. Seriously though you should really hire me, I'm a great people person." I crossed my arms and glared at the television. I heard the Joker grab for my hair and I ducked, somersaulting off the couch. Dick really was an excellent teacher.

"Oh no, oh no _no_ **no**." I hissed. "I'll play by your rules, I'll stay in this place but when you try your little games, I'm playing too and I am not loosing _ever_ again." The Joker smiled dangerously, his eyes glinting.

"Yes sweetheart but you forgot something you uh shot me in the leg." I showed him my arm.

"Yes and you carved your name into my arm." The Joker smiled and walked forwards. I didn't move. That would show fear. I wasn't scared.

"Oh yes I did but uh sweetheart don't you remember that you left? Its allllll your fault in the first place hm?" He laughed and threw me into the wall I crumpled to the ground, and then rolled away, standing up and breathing heavily.

"Good job." The Joker snickered. He moved forwards again but at that moment two goons burst into the warehouse.

"Boss we…" The Joker's eyes darkened and he shot one of the men. The other cowered as the Joker stalked towards him.

"Well go on then you have my uh _full attention_." He hissed, licking his lips.

"Zucco knew before what we were planning, he got our men…he's still alive." This caught my attention. Joker was trying to kill the mob boss? Looked like he wanted control. Wait….Zucco. Yeah, he was the guy who'd killed Dick's parents, but the name was familiar……suddenly I remembered. William. His last name was Zucco. Huh. That was interesting.

While I was figuring all this out, the Joker looked like he was about to explode and he pulled out his knife and dragged the goon with him outside. You could here the screams from here. After they died down the Joker walked back inside. At this point, I really wasn't paying attention I was thinking about this whole Zucco thing and watching Harley try to bandage herself up, then try to get the Joker to let her come with him and the goons to sort things out. She kept telling him she was really sorry, that she'd never do it again if he'd just let her come but all that got her was a painful smack and the most frightening glare possible.

Now let me get a few things straight about me not trying to go and get a piece of Zucco for killing Dick's parents. First, there was no way the Joker would be killing Zucco tonight, more so along the lines of destroying one of his drug trades, maybe torture some people who could tell him information about the man. And, there was no way I'd voluntarily go anywhere with the Joker. I'd do something I'd regret. So, I watched as they all filed out, trying to see if any of them looked like William. Nothing. The Joker glanced back at me before he left, and his eyes conveyed one message. Stay here. Normally, I would have been all for it, screw it all, but I didn't want to go anywhere. I felt nauseous and tired and they still had my knives.

The second the warehouse was empty, Harley got up from the ground and walked over and sat beside me on the couch. I rolled my eyes irritably. I was in no mood for talking.

"Hi!" She said cheerfully. I didn't reply. "I'm sorry for you know being so rude to you last night." She said apologetically. I ignored her and I heard a tiny huff of impatience. "Can we maybe start new?" I turned to face her crossing my legs.

"What do you think this is? Start new? Should we break out the nail polish and magazines now or later?" Harley smiled happily, obviously not detecting my sarcasm.

"I knew you'd feel that way! Mr. J, uh your Dad has told me all about you!" I laughed. Oh god this was funny.

"What did he tell you? How he ruined my career? How he ruined my dreams?" Harley's face fell. "Oh I know!" I cackled. "He told you about how he killed my mother! That's a good one! You know what else?" I asked shaking with laughter. "He videotaped it so I could watch!" I could feel the tears coming and I shook my head furiously. "I saw it all, every scream, every drop of blood…" I stopped laughing and glanced at Harley who looked slightly scared. Then, her face changed.

"That really isn't any way to talk about your father ya know." She scolded. _Scolded!_ "You probably deserved it." I fingered the sharp edge of my knife, her words cutting me like I was butter.

"Deserved it?" I said quietly. "Oh yes, of course I deserved it. I kept his secret; alienated myself, made an enemy of my hero…yep I definitely deserved it all." Harley smiled softly.

"Oh don't worry bout it sweetie, your home now." It really wasn't fun being sarcastic when people didn't get it. I stood and sat on the other couch. Harley followed me, grinning like an idiot.

"Listen." I snapped irritably. "If you really want to start again could you maybe show me where all my things are and leave me alone?" Harley nodded understandably.

"Oh yeah sure. You probably had a really hard day, finally seeing your Dad again and having to deal with the fact that there is someone else in his life now." Her eyes glazed over with happiness. I shook my head.

"No not really, you're just really annoying." Harley didn't even hear my comment.

"Oh I know you may think I'm going to try to be your new mom or something sweetie, I'm not. I'm just gonna be your friend okay? We can all kinds of fun, go shopping, get our nails done…" she trailed off, sighing happily.

"Yeah until the police arrest us or someone tries to kill me." I snapped. "Can you just leave me alone?" Harley nodded eagerly.

"Oh yeah sure pumpkin." She stood. "I'll show you where you get to sleep. Your toys are there too!" She grabbed my hand and skipped up the iron stairs.

"That's Puddin's and my room." She said, pointing to the door with the two bullet holes. "Any time you need anything just knock." She led me further down the hall. "And this one is yours!" She opened the door and I was met with a tiny room that looked like someone had raided a children's toy store and put everything in here (which is exactly what happened). There was a small bed covered in a pink blanket with a couple of fluffy stuffed animals arranged neatly on it. There was a toy box in the corner and Harley opened it to show some actual kids toys and my assortment of knives inside as well. There was a dollhouse in the middle of a bright pink carpet and a set of drawers which had a makeup case on top of it. There was also a pink desk, with crayons and other colouring utensils on it.

"There's nothing in the drawers right now." Harley said cheerfully. "we still have to get you clothes, but do you like it?" _No. It's demented and wrong_ I thought blackly. Obviously Harley had designed it, but the Joker I imagine had planted the idea in her head. I sat down on the bed and Harley took that for a yes. She clapped her hands excitedly.

"Oh great!" She yelped happily. "Well, I'll let you explore you new room!" She paused at the door. "Oh, uh you might want to stay in here till morning, when Mr. J comes back he may not be too happy. He's an angel really, but he gets upset when things don't go his way and I don't want you to…" she trailed off, for the first time looking awkward as she glanced at my bandaged arm. I however was surprisingly touched. She didn't want me to get hurt; she was actually trying to help me. Sure, she was extremely annoying and pain to deal with, but I did appreciate what she was trying to do. I nodded, smiling a little bit at her. She beamed happily and left, shutting the door behind her.

*****

I lay on my bed, long after the Joker came home and stormed through the warehouse. Long after Harley Quinn's screams turned into excited moans then back into shrieks of pain. I used my knife to cut open the stuffed animals, and was busy ripping out their innards, when my door opened.

I sat up, picking up the gun from under my pillow and faced the person walking into my room. The man was a wearing a clown mask and he stood there, weaponless, long arms at his sides. He pulled a knife from his pocket and tossed it to me. I looked at the handle. It was mine, the one I'd given to William three years ago. I traced my name. Julia. Then, I looked up, grinning at William and my smile faded. He'd removed his mask. I hadn't seen in the picture, but the scar looked horrible, carving its way down his beautiful face. I leaped off the bed and threw myself into his arms.

"Oh god." I whispered. He didn't hug me back. I let go and looked up at him. He sighed, his blue eyes cold.

"Why did you come back?" My eyes widened.

"Wha-what do you mean?" I whispered. He stepped away from me.

"I wanted to make sure you'd always be safe, that's why I did this. So if the Joker ever found out where you were, I'd be the first to know. I'd be able to stop you. But, you came back." I couldn't believe it. He cared that much. Oh William what had I done to you?

"You shouldn't have done that." I replied. "You know the inevitable, right? No one survives with the Joker as their boss, you'll die!" I glared at him furiously. "That's why I came here William, you can't die!" He looked at me coldly.

"Why not? There isn't anything I have to live for exactly…except for you." I'd have thought that line corny, but William said it like the truth. I eyed him. He looked so different. There was no smile on his lips, his tousled hair was gone, now short and prickly. His blue eyes looked like ice, so much pain and suffering in them. And the scar. It cut into his face, brutally and savagely. I stepped forwards and this time, he didn't move away. I touched his scar, ran my finger along it.

"How?" I whispered.

"First hostage situation. A batarang from the Dark Knight himself." He said, some pride in his voice. The words cut into me. Oh the irony. The person I cared about scared by the hero I'd worshipped. This was too much.

"You need to go William." I whispered softly. He looked at me with alarm.

"What are you talking about?" He asked harshly. "You're the one who needs to leave. Don't you get it? The Joker can never get you if I'm with him. I can always tell you when he knows where you are." I shook my head.

"Where would I go William?" I showed him my scarred arm. He looked at my arm and then glanced back at my face.

"Then I can protect you from him." He said softly. "I can stay with you all the time, I'll get the Joker to make me your bodyguard or something." I shook my head again.

"No. William if he knew who you were…about you and me, he'd use you to get me to comply with him. You know that's true." William's helpless look faded away, his cool demure replacing it.

"I'm not leaving Julia." He growled. I sighed heavily.

"You've changed." I whispered. His gaze softened.

"So have you Jules." He said. I smiled.

"No one's called me that in three years." He stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. Before I could even react, his lips were on mine, his musky smell of coffee beans and peppermint overtaking me. I kissed him back, savoring the moment before it had to end. I kissed him one last time, and then rested my forehead on his. We stood there for a minute.

"It's too dangerous." I whispered. "I don't want you hurt….I can't have another person die because of me." William growled irritably, pushing me away from him.

"Don't you get it Julia? I'd rather die for you then have your death on my conscience for the rest of my life." His eyes lost their coldness and he looked like the William I knew. "Don't you get that I really care about you? That I love you?" I stared at him. _I love you too._ I wanted to say. But, I didn't feel that. I didn't understand how he could care about me so much. I didn't get it. So, I said nothing. After a moment of silence, William's face darkened. He opened the door, his hands shaking with rage.

"You'll never understand." He growled. Then, he left, and it was as if he had never been here. I turned off the light and shoved all the mangled stuffed animals off the bed. Then I curled underneath the blanket, holding the engraved knife I'd given William tightly.

_You'll never understand._

_I guess I won't._

**Well, I have a lot planned for the next couple of chapters but doesn't mean i don't love people tryign to guess at whats going to happen or giving me ideas! That saying, please read and review and I'll update really soon!**

* * *


	31. Chapter 31 A Journal

**Yes, I know this is a really short chapter, but I couldn't add more to it, because I wouldn't be able to end it right. Sorry bout that. **

**Anyways, I have a couple of other things I want to mention before I let you read this. As you've seen from my profile and my writing, I'm a bigger DC fan than Marvel but this is still a huge thing to me. DISNEY BOUGHT MARVEL! Wow, still can't get over that. It is sooo huge I'm having a hard time actually coming to grasps with it. I really hope they don't mess it up, because if they start putting mickey mouse ears on my deadpool.....oh people will _pay._**

**Also, thanks so much for the readers who reviewed. They made my day and this time I made sure I replyed to all of you and thanked you. Also, thanks to Sam I Am() who reviewed and didn't sign it. I just felt bad and wanted to make sure you knew I loved your review! Okay, well for those who didn't skip over this, please enjoy and review!**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own any DC comic characters and since none of them are wearing mickey mouse hats there are obviously no Marvel comic hereos here in the first place!_**

_

* * *

_

**Joker**

The evening air was thick with humidity, the windows in the large house were all open and sweat beaded on my forehead. I could feel my makeup running down my face from the heat and the candles still burning in the room. The young woman before me cowered at my feet and I chuckled softly, enjoying her fear. Her parents should have told her never to marry into a mafia family. It really was her fault. I was just doing the public a favor. These mafia folks were bad news! They were brutal killers! I slit the young woman's cheeks, and watched her drown in her own blood. Then, I slit her throat, letting the blood stain my gloves. It'd be a better idea to get red gloves, at the rate the stains were increasing. I shoved the corpse to the side. And the men started trashing the place. I took some of the woman's still warm blood and wrote on the wall.

_Happy anniversary Zucco. _

That's when I heard the baby crying. The goons froze and I slowly walked towards the sound. Zucco's older children weren't here, they were at their grandparents, that I knew. His dedicated wife had been waiting here for her Italian slob of a husband to come home. The incense of candles and romantic music still filled the room, not to mention the slinky lingerie the woman had been wearing. Course, it looked even better splattered with blood. Huh….should get Harley-doll some.

All that aside I didn't know there was a little Zucco spawn here! What kind of sick parents bang each other with their child awake in the house? ….oh….Hahaha. I opened the door and took in the baby girl in the white crib. She was just old enough to stand up, her chubby cheeks flushed from the tears streaking down her cheeks. She stopped when she saw me. A small smile spread across her face and she lifted her arms, babbling baby talk at me. I laughed. That's the thing about little kids; they didn't think anything was scary. They were foolish, naive….their parents should have taught them better. I picked the baby out of the crib and she snuggled against me, her little hand grabbing at the collar of my coat. Her mother's blood still wet on my gloves was smeared on her skin and she giggled.

"Shush shush little baby." I whispered softly. "Dah dah dahdahdahdah…." I chanted the circus tune quietly and the babies eyes slowly closed.

"Ahahah." I said sharply. You see, the thing with not being afraid…you can't protect yourself. My knife embedded itself in the baby and a small tiny whimper was heard before its eyes went dim. I pulled my knife out of the lifeless child and sauntered out of the room. I went back where the woman lay on the ground put the baby against the wall, beside the bloody writing. Then, I took my knife and drove it into the baby, right through its heart and into the wall. All in all, you're either dead or scared, and even being afraid doesn't get you very far. In the end, there really is no point in life, no lesson to learn except for one…..look out for oneself, and you won't get burned….or stabbed.

* * *

**Julia**

The next day, I found myself confined once again to the warehouse.

There was no sign of the Joker or Harley, and all the goons except for a couple were gone. Then Harley came back the next day and I had to deal with her following me around like a puppy. The Joker himself never showed up, but on the news I heard about the brutal stabbing of Tony Zucco's wife and youngest child.

And, the third day he was gone, I woke up to see something lying on the end of my bed. I turned the light on and saw a black journal, wait my journal. It was one of my journals that I drew in when I was younger. I'd left them in my apartment when I'd been declared emotionally unstable, and fired from my job, and forced to flee from everything I knew. They'd all been in these big boxes together….which meant he had them all. And by he, I meant the Joker. He was the only one who would ever do such a thing. Which meant he'd read them. My stomach twisted and turned and I opened the page.

I'd always written in crayon and pencil crayons, but my personal drawings had been drawn over with black and red marker. My little stick figure people had Joker faces drawn on them. Many of the pictures we're already disfigured, when I was little I used the journal to get my emotions out. I'd draw horrible pictures of my mother's boyfriends dying, their blood pooling around them. On these, there were no markers used, except for the words "HAHAHA".

This was my very first journal ever, so there were very few of the violent pictures. Most were of me and my "dad". I'd only been six when I'd written in here. These pictures we're completely destroyed. In these, only the father had the Joker smiles, I had the word 'Joker' written all over my stick figure body. The one with us going out for ice cream had turned into us holding human heads instead of ice-cream cones, the ice cream man lying disfigured in front of me. The words "I SCREAM for ice-cream" was written across the top in black.

I flicked through the journal, my rage mounting. Each picture was mutilated by the black and red marker, mocking and hurting. I turned them faster, my eyes raking over graphic scenes, me and him holding guns to people's heads, a picture of me, my mother and father at the park had been reduced to my mother bleeding from every core in her body while my stick figure cried black tears and the father laughed. That did it. I Screamed and threw the book at the wall. Why was he still doing this to me? Why was he still mocking me? I leaped off the bed and stormed about the room, kicking at the mutilated stuffed animals. There was a bang of a gun shot and I dived beside the bed.

"SHUT UP!" Yelled a voice, followed by hysterical laugher. Another gun shot was sounded and that's when I stood up. I had never, never been this furious in my life. I picked up the journal in my shaking hands and walked towards the door, now with two bullet holes in it. I was going to shove this book down his throat. The door flew open and the grinning face of the Joker was all I could see before the book came crashing down on his head. And then, while he was distracted, I jumped at him. I locked my legs around his hips and threw punch after punch at his head, all of them he blocked, laughing manically. We tumbled to the ground and when he tried to grab at me, I dodged him, landing a heavy blow to his nose. Blood spurted his face darkened. Soon, there was a knife to my throat and I froze.

"You wouldn't." I said coolly. He raised his eyebrow and licked his lips.

"Try me." He growled. I slowly stood and the Joker wiped at the blood coming from his nose, now clotting. "Now then sweetheart uh what's wrong?" He smirked.

"You know very well what's wrong." I hissed furiously. "You're gone for four days and then all of a sudden you drop that," I pointed to the journal lying on the floor "on my bed. Did you really think I would appreciate you marking up my stuff? That I'd think it was funny? What gives you the right to destroy the last thing I had?" I was waiting for a smug comment, or even a knife to the arm, but the Joker simply turned away and walked down the stairs. I immediately followed him, feeling foolish. How did he always turn the argument around so he came out on top? The Joker turned to me suddenly.

"Sweetheart, you're uh _mine_…..**riiiight**?" I opened my mouth to argue but he continued, crossing his arms.

"Yes, so if you are mine then uh what you own is….mine as well." I wasn't in the mood for this.

"Give me my journals back." Joker shook his head.

"Can't. What's the uh saying? _Finders keepers_?" My eyebrows knitted themselves together.

"But that's not fair. They're mine." I said, a slight whine to my voice. I instantly recoiled, but the Joker's smug smile widened. He chucked me under the chin with his finger and I flinched.

"Yes sweetheart, but little girls like you uh shouldn't be drawing such horrible things." He said, licking his lips slowly. "As your…._**Daddy**_ I think I can do whatever I want with those _evil_ drawings. You're lucky you don't get in uh more _trouble_." He patted the side of my cheek and I instantly swatted his hand away. I didn't know what else I could do. Fighting wasn't going to do anything, it wouldn't change his mind. I pivoted and marched to go back upstairs and sulk or something, but Harley came down, stopping me in my tracks. I turned around to face the Joker and he grin maliciously.

"You know what sweetheart? I think you're sooo angry because I've been gone hmm?" He stepped towards me, his face showing utter concern, while his eyes mocked me. I hated when he did this thing, some sort of sick father daughter crap. It was scarier then when he was angry.

"I've neglected my little girl for _loooooong_ enough." He drawled, and I paled slightly starting to get an idea of what was coming next. "How do you feel about coming to work with me?"

* * *

**So, short chapter, but the next one I am REALLY excited for. And, there will actually be some Batman too maybe not in the next chapter but eventually, which I'm always pumped about. So, please read and review and I will update really soon!**


	32. Chapter 32 Complications

**Hi everyone! I was so happy to see so many new people favouriting and story alerting my story! Maybe you could slip me a review? :) Well anyway this chapter isn't my fav but a lot of stuff happens and I really am excited for the next chapter so please enjoy! Thanks to my beta reader TooManyIdeas!! **

**_Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue please._**

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

The large office building loomed up before me, and the truck angled towards it, narrowly missing a large limousine going the opposite way. Harley sat beside me, her hand on top of mine. This time, I didn't push her away. I needed to comfort. I tried not to look at her face though. The clown makeup she put on made her look completely different, so much like the Joker. Speaking of the clown himself, he was shouting directions to the driver. We'd pretty much driven around the city until we found the office building that had the most lights on. In the end, we'd picked the Ryerson Metal Company Offices. On the way, he'd told me this was for "fun" tonight. He already knew what he was going to do, that was obvious, he just wanted as many people as possible.

Once the truck came to a stop, The Joker nodded at the goons in the truck and about half of them left. After a minute, the Joker grabbed my arm and pulled me up off the seat, dragging me out the door. Harley bounded after us, chirping excitedly and a couple of the other goons, including William followed us out.

I fought quietly with the Joker, trying to pull my arm away, until I was given the blackest look possible and conceded. _Might as well behave._ I thought to myself. _Maybe it'll keep him in a good mood and he won't kill __**everyone**_. I glanced at the Joker, eyed his intense concentration as we walked inside the building, as we passed the guards dead on the floor, and the ones held at gunpoint. I watched as he mocked them all, as he spat at their feet. It was weird really. He loved this, loved scaring people, loved seeing them doubt order, doubt themselves. He loved it when the Batman came, when he was able to make the caped crusader doubt himself. He was sick, twisted, sadistic, and cruel, but I had never seen someone so in love with what they did, so obsessed with their "job".

"How ya doing their sweethear-t?" The Joker asked, popping the t like gum. I saw his eyes were on mine, watching me as I stared at him. I glared and turned my head, and the Joker's hand tightened on my arm. He quickened his pace and I had to lengthen my stride to keep up with him. It was good I had his long legs, because Harley was almost running to keep up. We entered the elevator and the Joker grinned, eying the buttons.

"Who's it gonna be…..how about you pick sweetheart?" He pushed me towards the buttons and I swallowed. Whichever floor I picked, I'd be condemning them to death. Course, the Joker was blowing up the building after he was done, but maybe people would be able to get out before. I closed my eyes and pressed one of the buttons. The doors clanged shut and I opened my eyes. I'd pressed the top floor, conference and big time offices. The Joker let go of my arm, leaning against the glass of the elevator. Harley draped herself over him and this time he didn't push her off, just smirked at the goons standing in the elevator. He really knew how to play to his advantages.

I slouched against the wall and crossed my arms, glaring at the ground. I felt trapped, like an unruly dog backed into a corner, forced to bite his way out. The Joker would be hard pressed to make me do anything, but he'd realize that soon enough. I glanced at William, standing there quietly with the mask over his face. Would I kill to spare his life? What about Dick?

The elevator door clanged open and immediately, a purple gloved hand closed around my wrist, dragging me forwards.

"Come on oh daughter of mine." The Joker hissed excitedly. "Lets put on a show."

* * *

**Bruce Wayne/Batman**

So far, the day had not at all been satisfactory. Alfred and I had taken the boy to his parents funeral and the minister had been horrible, droning on about things that had absolutely nothing to do with the acrobats themselves. Then, I'd been given an emergency call and was forced to attend a meeting at the Ryerson Metal Offices to speak about using their new kind of specially designed plutonium metal for the new peace trucks being sent over to the Middle East. Dick had immediately asked to come with me, and I'd been forced to leave him in the waiting room while I went into the conference. I promised Dick that we'd go out for some pickup food afterwards but he just nodded glumly.

Halfway through the meeting the Dick sent me a message with the phone I'd given him, telling me that he was going to go home with Alfred because he wasn't feeling well. So, now I had to call the other limousine to pick me up and bring me back to the Manor.

I drummed my fingers irritably against the leathers seats. Those were just Bruce Wayne's problems. Batman had so many things going on that I could barely even think straight. Gordon had informed me about Julia Samuels and if my sources were right, the Joker had her. It was all just another huge pain to keep her reappearance from getting out. And then….there was the boy. I had to admit, I was taking a liking to him. He was quite cheerful at times, and smart as well with a slight wit about him. He was usually quite talkative but then all of a sudden his face would fall and he'd withdraw into himself. I suspected it was because of his parents. Even worse, I was never there to talk to him. I knew what it was like, seeing your parents die before your eyes and yet it seemed like Dick was upset about more than that.

Alfred told me he'd been having nightmares, shouting out things about the circus and his parents and always yelling "Jewel!". It frustrated me that I couldn't get to the boy, and the first time that we'd actually be able to spend time together had been cut short because he'd gone home with Alfred. The limousine past through the gates of Wayne Manor and worked its way up the driveway. I walked hurriedly inside and met Alfred as I was heading up the stairs.

"I take it that Master Dick is still outside?" Alfred asked as I approached him. I froze.

"What? Didn't he come home with you?" Alfred shook his head.

"No Master Bruce, he called me and told me to drive back home, that he and you would get a ride after you had dinner." I pivoted and headed back down the stairs, towards the grandfather clock. It slid open at a slight touch from the side and I headed down into the blackness of the batcave. There was no way Bruce Wayne would be able to find Dick. But maybe, just maybe Batman would before it was too late.

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

The men and women cowered at the feet of the Joker as he commanded their attention, their eyes flickering to me. The Joker hadn't wasted any time in introducing me and now I was trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Suddenly, the Joker pivoted towards one of the goons.

"You sure this is alllll of them Chuckles?" He asked, his eyes glinting maliciously. The goon shook his head hesitantly.

"No boss, we uh still have the check the conference room and the waiting room offices." The Joker cracked his neck and pulled on his gloves.

"Fine. You go and find the rest and uh…." He glanced around and his eyes landed on me. "Take **my** Julia with you." I shook my head pleadingly.

"No, can't I just stay here…" The Joker stalked towards me.

"No you can't." He hissed. "You _will_ go with Chuckles and find the others." He propelled me towards Chuckles and I walked morosely out of the room with the Jokers last comment ringing in my ears.

"And whoever you find…you get to killlll."

The goon and I walked through the offices, looking for the stragglers. Not that I was complaining, at least the Joker wasn't trying to make me kill people or something like that (until I brought the stragglers back) but I hated the fact that I had to be babysat. I was perfectly capable of looking for any other people in the building, it wasn't a hard job. I glared at the blonde haired man and he smirked at me. We really hadn't got off to a good start, especially after I knifed his buddy in the groin and punched his other friend in the nose.

We entered a small office room and that's when I saw a child's jacket lying on the chair. I instantly froze, hoping that the goon didn't see it. He did.

"Well, what do we have here?" He said, moving towards the jacket. I didn't know what else to do, so I clubbed him over the head. He crumpled to the ground with a loud thud and I dragged him off to the side. Then, I sat on the ground, pulling the jacket into my lap.

"You can come out now." I said quietly, hoping the kid would listen to me. I could save his life, I just had to get him out of here. "I promise I won't hurt you. I just want to help you find your parents okay?" I waited for a minute then out of nowhere in a blur of jet black hair, there stood a child in front of me, a small yellow, green, and red pocket knife pointed in my direction. My eyes flickered to his face. Dick. Next thing I knew, he was in my arms, sobbing quietly into my peacoat, while all I could think of was _oh no no __**no.**_

After a minute Dick drew away from me, a bright smile on his adorable face. I clung to his arms, trying to comprehend.

_Dick was here, I was here……the Joker was here._

"Oh Jewel I'm so happy to see you!" He cried happily. "When you ran away I got really scared, I thought maybe you didn't like me anymore but you do you found me!" I gave Dick a small smile and he grinned even wider. "It was so scary in here when the men with clown masks came so I hid in the cupboard." I shook my head furiously.

"Wait, how did you get here?" I managed to blurt out. Dick grinned happily.

"Oh that's the best part. Bruce…" he paused and glanced at me. "you know, Bruce Wayne had to go to a meeting and I stayed here but then I called him and told me Alfred was taking me home and then I called Alfred and told him I was going with Bruce to dinner." He grinned even wider. "And then I waited here till he left. But then the clown men came and I had to hide in the cupboard." I was still so confused, Dick was talking so fast it was hard to understand.

"But why did you run away in the first place? Was Wayne mean to you?" Dick shook his head earnestly.

"No, he's really nice, kinda grouchy and he's really busy a lot but it was fine there. It's just…" he paused a bit and rubbed his eyes, trying to hide the tears. "I wanted to find you." At that second I saw a flash of black and the Batman zoomed past us, up to the rood. He hadn't seen us, not yet. I looked straight at Dick.

"Did you see that?" I asked him. He nodded gleefully.

"Ya, it's the Batman!" He said excitedly.

"Yes and he's going to take you back if we don't hide." I said sharply. Dick paled and he grabbed at me.

"No, no not again. You have to stay, you have to!" I picked him up and we crawled into the cupboard Dick had come out of. I shut the door and Dick sobbed into my peacoat, still scared that I was going to leave him again.

"Dick shush." I whispered, holding him tightly in my arms. He was such a small kid it wasn't hard. "Buddy, you need to be quiet, or he'll find us." Dick whimpered, digging his nails into my arms and I winced but curled my body around him, scooting as far as I could into the cabinet. I had to keep him safe from Batman, he'd take him back to Bruce Wayne and Dick couldn't go to anyone else but me. I was the one who understood him the most, who cared for him more than anyone but his parents….and well they couldn't do much good anymore could they? He was mine, mine mine and no one was taking him away from me. Dick finally calmed down and not a moment too soon.

"Oohh Julia!" The Joker. My stomach clenched. This was starting to get out of control. Dick put his face in my shirt, his entire body shaking. He knew that voice.

"W-who is he calling for Jewel?" The kid whispered. I sighed heavily. I didn't want to tell him everything, but I couldn't lie to Dick. I waited till the Joker's footsteps left the office.

"Buddy, I know this is going to be hard for you to get but you remember hearing about that girl who's supposed to be the Joker's daughter? You know Julia Samuels" Dick tilted his head at me but nodded a bit.

"I only heard about it." He said. I closed my eyes.

"Well….that's me." I opened them and saw Dick looking at me. He didn't look upset or betrayed or frustrated, he looked sad. He hugged me tight.

"Oh Jewel." He said quietly, patting my back. Surprisingly, I let him. We sat in the cupboard, me trying to keep myself together, and the eight year old boy who had lost his parents not just two weeks ago and had just discovered the one person left was related to a madman and also bordering on insanity consoled me.

"Jewel, I don't care, you're still my best friend ever." He whispered. My bottom lip quivered and I sniffed, trying to hold the emotions back. He didn't get it, I was stupid to think that he would understand the danger it out him in. He was trying but he didn't understand the consequences of this. He would one day. "You're my best friend too Dick." I said in his ear. The doors of the cabinet ripped open and the masked face of the Batman starred at us. Dick flicked open his pocket knife and the Dark Knight stepped back.

"Stay away." The kid said nervously. I climbed out after him, and glared at the Batman, who was looking at me with shock. I didn't dare pull out my own knife, I didn't want to scare Dick and he seemed to be doing fine on his own.

"I don't want to go back." Dick stammered. "I want to stay with Jewel." The Batman obviously wasn't listening to the conversation. I saw the movement before Dick

"Dick watch—" I started but the Bata rang flew at Dick's hand, knocking the knife out and sent it scattering across the office. The noise was loud and I tensed. The Joker would've heard that.

"Oh screw you Bats." I growled. Batman made to grab me but I did a somersault away from him, courtesy of Dick's incredible training. I steadied myself and the Batman starred at me, calculating.

"There's someone else in the building." I said quickly. "The Joker's looking for me, with all of his goons. Do you really think you'll be able to keep the boy safe from all of them _and_ take them down?" Batman glanced at Dick, who was picking up his pocket knife, his face hard and angry. Batman looked back at me.

"Fine." He said roughly. I walked over to Dick.

"Dick you need to go with the Batman." I said softly. Dick looked up at me, horror splayed across his face.

"Wh-what?" He stuttered, but it was too late. Batman picked Dick up, who immediately began to scream and kick and jumped out the window. The glass shattered around me and that second the Joker blasted into the room, grabbing my hair.

"Boy are you in **trouble.**" He growled. I heard the black fury in his voice, but all I felt was sadness. I'd told Dick we'd always be together, lied to him so many times and now I'd handed him over to the Batman, back to a place he didn't want to be. I'd let him down, seen the pain in his eyes. I knew what it was like to feel alone. The Joker dragged me across the office and down the stairs, shoving me into the van. The building behind me exploded but I didn't even flinch, just stared at the Joker, who looked like he was about to explode.

"Do you know…" He growled, "…how close we were to being blown up because of your little uh detour?" I pulled my knees up and pressed my forehead into them, trying to keep back the tears. The Joker knelt and shoved my head back up, his eyebrow raising at the few tears rolling down my face.

"Let him down…" I muttered. "I let him down…he'll never forgive me…gave him away to Batman…he'll never forgive me…he's alone…I'm alone…" I couldn't think about anything other than Dick. It hurt so much, I felt so sad…..

* * *

**Joker**

Her eyes became cloudy and unfocused, and I shook her irritably. Whaaaaat? We'd almost become sidewalk gunk because of her and she was having some sort of spaz? What would be the point in punishing someone who wasn't even there? I chewed on my scars, processing what she'd just said. Batman in the building, and he hadn't even dropped by to say hello? This other person she was talking about must have been pretty important then.

"Who's alone sweetheart?" I growled at her. She didn't flinch.

"I'm sorry for lying….I'm so sorry…" she muttered. "…you're my best friend too Dick…..I'll never leave you alone….I-I promise." I scowled, shoving her to the ground. I didn't have any idea who this Dick person was, but I wish I did. A name like that…I smirked….well it made me wish I'd been in his public school. Julia started shaking, and she sat up, grabbing onto my pants leg, holding on with dear life. Her nails began to dig into my skin and my frown deepened. Whatever was happening to her, it was pretty bad to start groveling at my feet. But, I couldn't complain.

"Make it stop…" she whispered, her eyes glazed. "….make the pain stop….make it go away….please leave me alone…." She curled around my foot and pressed her face into the fabric This was getting ridiculous. I pulled out my knife, and hit her over the head with the handle. She immediately let go of my leg, collapsing on the ground. I kicked her off as the car came to a stop and the rest of the men who had been avoiding my face hurried out.

The girl lay on the ground and I picked her up unceremoniously, slinging her over my back and brought her inside the warehouse. I threw her into her room, hoping for bruises on her pathetic body, cause she'd just cost me a whole lot of wasted anger. I walked into my room and Harley came out of no where, babbling like an idiot. I backhanded her across the face and she flew across the room, landing with a thump. I could see the terror in her eyes and I advanced. I had a lot of anger to let loose and _Harley-Doll_ here was perfect.

* * *

**Bruce/Batman**

I had to hand to him, the kid never stopped fighting. I had to strap him down when I got him in the car and all the way he was screaming "Jewel". I had to deduce that it was the name Julia Samuels went by when she was at the circus. The car entered the cave and I opened the door, letting the kid go. He shot out, his eyes wide with fright and confusion. He glared up at me.

"Take me back to Jewel." He said angrily.

"No." I turned and walked up the stairs away from Dick and he ran after me.

"But you have to save her, she's with the Joker! She gets bad nightmares and she needs me there to make sure she isn't sad! If I'm not with her who knows what will happen!" The pain in the kids voice was so strong that I stopped, turned around to look at him. I remembered the same pain, same determination in his eyes at his parents funeral, when he told me that he would never let anyone loose there parents again, never let anyone be alone. I remember that same pain in my eyes while my parents blood pooled around me. I slumped into the chair. This boy had the same determination that I had, but it wasn't for revenge, it was to help others. He wanted to protect the innocent, the ones who had no one else to turn to. I pulled the leather cowl of my head and Dick's eyes widened in shock.

"Bruce?" He asked hesitantly. I nodded.

"Yes." Dicks eyes pleaded up at me.

"Will you help me save her?" He asked. I thought of my parents deaths, being alone, feeling like no one wanted anything to do with you. Could we save Julia Samuels?

"Yes Dick." I said strongly. "I will."

* * *

**Well, please review and tell me your opinions or predicitions and I will update as soon as I can!**


	33. Chapter 33 Frustration

**Hi! School is starting to pick up, but don't worry the next chapter is done, it'll be out really soon. Thanks to all the people who alerted and favorited this story, drop me a review or even send me a message if you have any questions or opinions! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and please enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue please!!!!**

* * *

**Joker**

_Stupid, idiotic girl. Getting all of us nearly blown up_. I thought furiously as I sat at the desk, scribbling in one of her dear journals. Harley slept quietly behind me, curled up in the nest of now bloody sheets, which just barely covered her naked body. She'd be cleaning those tomorrow; it was her blood so it was her fault. I chuckled quietly as I nearly tore the paper with my harsh strokes of black and red. _Stupid foolish girl._ She was asleep now, I could go in that room and just wring her little neck….nah I could tie her up and throw her off a tower…or I could cut the skin right off her body…I pounded the desk angrily and I knew Harley had woken up. She didn't say anything and when I turned around her eyes were shut tight. _Smart girl._ I pushed the journal out of the way and brought forward the crumpled picture I'd ripped from her journal when I'd first laid on them three years ago.

_Daddy smiling._

_Stupid stupid, idiotic girl. _

This Daddy didn't have scars, he was just smiling…I shook my head, sudden memories flashing before my eyes. No scars, no face paint, no anger, no hate, no green hair, just me. The memories were all smudgy, I could never see anything clearly and….suddenly everything came back into focus. Huh. The memories, the feelings, they'd made me feel different. I didn't like it. It was all her fault, she was the reason this was happening. When the building was about to explode, I could have let her get blown up, I could of let her die….but I didn't. The girl was a pain, she knew exactly how to get under my skin yet I couldn't just kill her. I didn't want to. I mean, why should I? Allll I had to do was find a way, a string to pull and then she'd do anything I'd ask.

_Or you could kill her._

But what was the fun in that? Nah, I just had to find the string, and like dominos, everything would follow. I would kill her after…..I would.

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

The first thing I felt when I woke was the worst headache ever, my entire body felt like it'd been thrown off a roof. My mouth was caked with blood from my lips, and my head was pounding. I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in my "bedroom" lying on the floor. Sitting up took a while, since the pain was so great but I finally made it to the pink mirror with "princess" written across the top of and looked into it. It wasn't as bad as I'd thought; there was obviously a bruise on my head beneath the hair, as well as one on my cheek and a few on my body. It mostly looked like I'd been thrown across the ground once or twice and since I'd been unconscious; I hadn't been able to protect myself. It was really only my head that hurt the most, and I suspected a blunt object from the Joker.

I crossed the room slowly and fished around for some clothes instead of my costume, which I'd only worn because of the fact that it had so many places for my only things I had was my jeans and the black shirt that was missing the right sleeve. I pulled those on and then put on my peacoat to hide the scar on my arm and tried to get the blood off my lips. Then I left the room cautiously, walking down the iron stairs into the large room that held the big table, the TV and couches and the fridge. There were some goons downstairs, watching the TV and I saw William there as well, his eyes angry and frustrated. He didn't look at me and I walked to the fridge which usually had beers. Today though I found fruit, milk, and cereal, Lucky Charms to be exact. _Harley_. Suddenly one of the doors on the main floor of the warehouse opened and two goons walked out, dragged a body covered in a garbage bag. Another goon approached them and the men nodded.

"I worked." One of them said. Then, they dragged the body out the front foor. I winced, remembering that one day when the Joker and Harley weren't here and I'd decided to look in their room. It wasn't much, just a bed with bloodstained and ripped sheets and a desk that was covered in papers. Being me, I'd looked through them and was surprised to discover that the Joker was worked with chemicals. From the sheets it was a complicated mix of specific chemicals that would cause your mouth to freeze in a permanent smile which would then result in lack of oxygen and eventual death. He called it "smilex", which was fitting.

It looked painful, horrible and sick, even worse then when the Joker carved the smiles on his victims faces. After that, I'd started to realize that every once in a while, the goons would drag a body out of that room on the main floor, some kind of torture place or something. It wasn't hard to connect the dots and I realized that this toxin had already been created, and by the looks of it, worked.

I slammed the fridge door shut, trying to shake those dark thoughts from my head. I grabbed an apple, not even bothering with the 'kiddie' stuff and was about to creep away to my room where I wouldn't have to deal with anyone when I heard one of the doors banging open and a screech, followed by a thud. I sighed turning around and plopping myself on one of the couches. The other goons on the couch quickly got off and moved away from me. After a couple of seconds, Harley walked downstairs, her eyes a little red, looking as sluty as ever. She sat beside me, a bright smile spreading on her face as she talked to the goons. I scooted farther down the couch, trying to ignore her. There was no way I'd go upstairs when the Joker was in his room, if he was in one of his moods then if he even heard a creek of someone walking down the hallway he'd come out and pummel you to death. But, that didn't mean I had to talk to Harley.

I satisfied myself with staring at the news, glancing at William now and then, trying to forget about the whole "smilex" thing. As usual, she was completely oblivious to my wishes and chattered on, me ignoring her till about the end when she ended her sentence in a question.

"What?" I said before I could stop myself. Harley giggled.

"I said Julia sweetie that we should go shopping one time and maybe we could get you some really nice clothes huh?" Harley repeated. I glanced at her irritably.

"What's wrong with what I wear?" Harley laughed cheerfully.

"Oh nothin's wrong with it, it's just a little depressing. That purple's so dark it's almost black wouldn't cha like somethin' better?" I didn't answer her. "Hey Julia you listening? _**Jules**_?" My eyesight went red. _No._ I slapped Harley across the face and shoved her to the ground. She shrieked and I pounced on her, kicking and biting as she skillfully blocked as many of the blows as she could. No one was allowed to call me Jules except William. _No one._

"Don't-you-ever-call-me-Jules…" I yelled furiously. "I'll rip you apart! I'LL KILL YOU!" Harley screamed bloody murder and two thugs grabbed at my arms, dragging me away from Harley. I brought my knee back and hit one of them in the groin and jumped on the other, pounding their head repeatedly with my fist. The goon went tumbling and I rolled away, pulling a knife out of my pocket. The scene froze. Harley lay on the ground, cut up and bloody, not crying, but watching me. Everyone in the room knew what I could do with the knife and I was aiming it for Harley's breathing chest when a purpled glove wrapped itself around my wrist.

"Normally I'm uh all for these kinds of things, but I think Harls here can wait till I'm done with you **sweetheart**." I didn't move, my breathing haggard. "Drop it." He said sharply, like I was a dog. I shook my head. No way. I tossed the knife to the other hand and slashed at his arm, making a shallow but large cut. The Joker roared furiously and I pivoted around to face him and someone from behind me grabbed my wrist and turned it so I was forced to bend against the pain.

My knife dropped to the ground and I winced against the numb feelings slowly spreading through wrist. I brought my foot back to kick at the person behind me, but they simply let go of my hand as I was caught off balance and then pressing both hands on my back, vaulted over me. Harley. The blurry mass flipped through the air, landing slightly unsteadily. Course, before then I'd thrown another knife and it was already lodged in Harley's side. The last thing I saw was her hand ripping the knife out of her body before I felt a foot connect with my own side, and I groaned painfully as the knife protruding from the shoe split through my skin.

The Joker grabbed both my arms and then planted the sole of his foot on my back, forcing me to the ground, while I silently cursed myself. I should have, hesitated, I should have just thrown the knives or pulled out the gun and then I would have been out of here. But no, I'd been too _scared_. I didn't want to **accidentally** kill anyone. Lovely. The right side of my body throbbed from the gash and my breathing was haggard, my face was pressed painfully into the floor.

"Sweetheart, you know you're just digging yourself a **hole**." The Joker hissed. He pulled me up on my knees by my hands and I struggled as hard as I could to get out. But it wasn't easy when your hands were held behind your back. I still couldn't think straight, my head was whirling and I growled (yes growled) at Harley, who was laughing at me.

"Serves you right Julia. You shouldn't be hurting your Mama Harley." She rubbed at her face and her blood smeared across her cheeks, making her look feral. The Joker laughed with her.

"And you hurt uh…._**Daddy**_ too sweetheart." He slurred, his hands tightening on my wrists. "We're both veerrrryyyy disappointed in you honey." He drawled. "And un-fort-unat-ly for you I do the punishing 'round here." I wasn't playing this game. I couldn't concentrate on anything; my emotions were fighting to escape. I slumped forwards, collapsing on the ground. The Joker let go of my hands as I fell onto the pavement and kicked me again when I didn't get up. He moved closer and stood over me, his legs on either side of mine and reached for my hair. _Now Julia._ I brought one of my legs up as hard as I could, hitting him right in the groin. The noise the Joker made was pretty indescribable and he reeled backwards as I got up, two of my knives flying and hitting the goons in front of the door in the shoulders. Then, I booked it.

I ran out the door of the warehouse and down the narrow alleyways, as far as I could get. I never stopped. I ran until my lungs burned and I could barely breathe and then I collapsed on the dirty ground, the cut in my side throbbing. I glanced around then pulled off my peacoat and my shirt, then put the coat back on and tied my shirt around my midrift to stop the bleeding. I buttoned up my coat and shivered, my thoughts returning to the problem at hand. I'd have to be back in two days or less, I couldn't run forever. The Joker held no power over me, but honestly, what do you do when there is no other option? So, I'll be crawling back into that stupid place by the morning so I wouldn't get something else carved in my skin but in the meantime….I had my own things to do.

****

I stood at the gates of Wayne Manor, straining my eyes to see the house far down the road. Dick was in there, and it was all my fault. I sunk to the ground, the weight of what I'd done finally affecting me. Everything I touched was destroyed, the second I'd stepped foot into Gotham everything had changed, the Joker had escaped, Dick lost his parents, I found William a changed person….I hated it. _Why why why_. It wasn't fair. I hadn't done anything wrong? I tried so hard to keep them safe, I really did. Why couldn't anyone take that into thought? Why couldn't they all just leave me alone.

I'd let everything in my life be taken from me, I deserved Dick and my William back. But no. That was too good for me wasn't it? Instead I was stuck with my crazed father who thought me so much to be some sort of possession that he actually carved his fucking stage name on me and his stupid psychologist who didn't know when to keep her big fat mouth shut. That's what I got for all my pain and suffering. Other people got what I deserved.

Wayne? He was an idiotic playboy who did more bad with his money than good, why did he deserve Dick, my little buddy? I ran my finger, making little stick figures flipping through the air, me teaching Dick to throw the knife, him introducing me to the circus animals....then William and I at the coffee shop, Mom and I watching movies…..me being happy.

I was still sitting there, tracing pictures in the dirt when the police cars surrounded me.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it and please review!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!**


	34. Chapter 34 Interrogation

**Hello all! Thanks so much for the views and the countless number of people who just read the story, and the ones hwo alerted and favorited it. I just want to say how much I appreciate all of you. I hope you really enjoy this chapter, I sure did writing it! **

**_Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue please!_**

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

I was surprised to say the least of the way they took me in, the way twenty guns pointed at my chest as I was handcuffed and pulled away from the gate. This was not Gordon's way of doing things, at least with me. Course, I didn't put much of a fight in the first place, I actually acted like a limp fish. In my opinion, it was a bit of entertainment before I had to go back "home".

Let me also mention I wasn't thinking right. I didn't even have all my pocket knives on me. That saying I had around 10 but usually it was closer to 30. Well, those were all ripped from my body, luckily by a female police officer while being directed by a large and fat man, both of them completely oblivious to the fact that I wasn't wearing a shirt underneath my jacket.

She must have had known someone the Joker killed because she "accidentally" poked hard at the gash on my side. Course, my shirt tied around my waist helped cushion the blow but it sure hurt a bit. Then, they both walked away, the fat man never having looked at me in the face or even spoken to me. All high and mighty huh? Just wait till he realizes he'd missed two of my knives, one against my arm and the other in my hair.

A middle aged man with curly black hair marched up to me, and gave me the whole "you have a right to remain silent blah blah blah" talk, treating me like I was the dirt in his toenails. I couldn't help myself; I cocked my eyebrow and said,

"Uh officer, what's going on? What did I do?" I've never seen anyone turn red so fast.

"What did you do?" He yelled at me, spit flying in all directions. I nodded cheerfully. He glowered at me.

"You and you're your fucking cop killer of a father and his little psychologist have caused more damage to this city in five years then the 200 years that it's been here. That's what you did. You've killed children, adults, cops and even babies. If I was allowed to I'd shoot you right here and now and be done with you." I opened my mouth again but he grabbed me by my handcuffed hands and shoved me into the bullet proof truck.

"Hope you burn in hell." He said, and spat in my face. A young officer slid in to sit on the other side of me and looked at me with contempt.

The truck started up and I tried to get the spit off my face. That had hurt a lot, being spit at, being treated like scum just because of who my parents were. It was one of the reasons I'd been so adamant about not telling anyone about my birth father. What was happening, right now, was the result of this. I had done nothing wrong to deserve to have me treated this way. Apparently, being related to a mass murder means you yourself are a mass murder as well.

Once the truck stopped, the young man shoved me out of the truck and I landed on the ground, face first since my hands were handcuffed behind my back. Only in Gotham.

The young man pulled me up, and I spat out blood, I now had a profusely bleeding lip and a nice gash from the gravel on my forehead which was just starting to trickle down my face, not to mention a couple of other scratches. It burned like hell, but I really had no time to think about the lovely scars I'd just attained before they dragged me into MCU and Gordon was standing there, looking livid in the face. For a Commissioner, he sure spent a lot of time out of his office.

"Did someone forget to mention to me that the discrepancy Wayne called about was her?" He yelled, his glasses bouncing so fast they almost fell off his nose. An obesely fat man who must have been in charge but obviously to important to speak to lowlifes like me, stepped forward.

"Well Comish, we thought that a more rough approach would work, since she's you know…."

"What!?" He yelled at the man. "A 22 year-old girl who's suffered more trauma in her life than the lot of you?" Gordon starred at my face.

"What'd they do, push you onto the ground?" The large man looked away awkwardly and Gordon's face darkened. "May I remind you she hasn't done anything to break the law?" The large mans eyes narrowed.

"That we know of." Finally I snapped out of my trance.

"Uh, excuse me?" I said sharply. "I'm not sure I've er been _**introduced-to-you**_." The fat man turned around and pointed at himself stupidly.

"Yeah you porkchop." I said smoothly. "I'd shake your hand but," I jingled the handcuffs. "I'm a little uh tied up right now." I glared pointedly at Gordon who shook his head, a small smile forming on it. He walked forwards and grabbed my right arm and pulled out a knife I had up my sleeve. I gave him a bloody grin while he glared, but then I winced as his fingers pressed into the cuts and I twisted out of his grip before he could take a look. But, from Gordon's face, I was only delaying the inevitable. I glanced over at the fat man.

"Where'd you get your police badge fatso? Off a kiddie costume cause so far you are really sucking at it hm?" I cocked my eyebrow and the fat mans face turned purple with anger. Gordon grabbed me by the shoulders and steered me away.

"Don't trust that piece of Joker spawn Commissioner! She's the same as her father; she'll kill us in our sleep!" Gordon ignored the shouts and I looked behind me, sticking out my tongue at him. I wasn't sure where this cheeriness was coming from and let me tell you it faded as soon as the large metal door opened and I was steered into a large white stone was interrogation room.

I could see some very light blood stains on the wall, almost gone, but never forgotten. Gordon steered me into a chair and forced me to sit, he refused to take off my handcuffs and instead pulled out another and handcuffed me to the table, which was bolted to the ground. Another officer came in and gave him some paper towel and he moved to press it to my forehead but I shook my head.

"Just the lip." He nodded and handed me the papertowel and I awkwardly used my handcuffed hands to press it to my bleeding lip. Then, he left the room without a backward glance. The door slammed shut behind me and I looked around the uncomfortably bright room, my gaze landing on the mirror. I wasn't stupid, I'd seen enough shows as a kid to know there were people standing behind there looking at me. Course, I could only see a reflection of me, looking quite haggard. The bruises from last night had really come out, and the scratches and gashes all had left dried blood painting my face.

I yawned sleepily. Oddly enough I felt very safe in these walls, I was sure I could take a little nap before I had to get back. I took off the paper towel after a couple of minutes when my lip had stopped bleeding. Then I put my head on the cold table and sighed happily. Perfect.

****

When I woke I had no idea of how long time had passed. I sat up, my neck cracking and I tried to rub at my temples with my handcuffed hands, my head throbbing. I glanced down at the table and saw a cup of still warm coffee sitting there, as well as an all bran muffin. I sniffed in disgust at the muffin and didn't even look at the coffee. They needed to get better food here.

After about half an hour, the door opened and in walked Commissioner Gordon and to my surprise Batman. I rubbed my eyes sleepily and pushed my frizzy hair out of my face. Gordon took the seat opposite me and Batman stood behind him, his eyes never leaving mine. Their own personal lie detector. Gordon glanced at the untouched coffee and muffin.

"Not hungry?" He asked. I sniffed.

"No." Gordon nodded and motioned for me to put my hands on the table. I kept them in my lap. The next second two black gloved hands grabbed my arms and forced them onto the table and I hissed as his fingers tightened around my scars. Gordon moved to roll up my sleeves and I tensed but then sighed. Might as well. Gordon gently grabbed my right arm and pushed up the sleeve of my peacoat.

I kept my palm face down so all Gordon saw was my forearm. Gordon gently rolled my arm over so my palm was facing up and gave a short gasp at the word engraved in my skin. I also saw Batman twitch and his entire expression changed to that of anger. Gordon went to touch the scars and I pulled my arm away.

"How…" he started but was unable to finish. I looked down at the table.

"When I came back. He choked me and hurt me so I could barely fight him off and put me on the table and used my pocketknife to write his name on my arm." I said shortly. "He said that I belonged to him and I was never leaving again." This time Batman spoke up.

"But you did." I looked up at him a small smile on my lips.

"Oh he won't be too angry if I'm gone a little while, as long as I'm back in the morning I don't get in a lot of trouble." I replied.

"A lot of trouble?" Gordon asked skeptically. I smirked and showed them the scars on my arm.

"It means he won't do this again unless I leave for long enough that he'll notice." I said sourly. There was a silence that followed, both Batman and Gordon starring at me, the shock and anger clear on both their faces, even though one was masked in a cowl. I sighed tiredly and looked at the letters on my arm.

"I'm sorry Julia." Gordon said quietly. I looked back up at him a tiny smile on my face.

"You know how many times you've told me that? I know you mean it but it never makes any difference." Batman stepped forwards and I glanced at him.

"So why did you leave tonight?" He rasped. I shook my head.

"I didn't 'leave,' I was going to go back in a little bit I just didn't want to be there any longer."

"Where?" I smirked.

"Nice try Batman. You think I'll rat out the Joker to you? You know what he'd do if I did that? He'd carve his name on my forehead. I'd rather not be a human nameplate _thank-you very much_." Batman's eyes narrowed but he didn't push it. Instead he went onto another topic

"Why'd you go to the Wayne Mansion? According to the security footage you were sitting there for about half an hour." My entire body froze up and I felt anger flooding through me.

"Do you want to know why? Because that** idiotic** play boy has Dick Grayson." Gordon raised his eyebrows.

"Did you know Dick well when you were part of the circus?" He asked.

"Know him well?" I shrieked, infuriated. "I'm his best friend, the only one who cared about him other than his parents and they're dead! That kid is the only person who can keep away the pain, the only person who when I see him, my heart doesn't ache." I pounded the table in frustration, then whispered, "I care about him more than anything yet I can't have him." I clenched my hands together, the handcuffs rubbing against my skin. "I just wish I could know he was okay, that he wasn't angry at me." This time it was silent for more than ten minutes before I spoke.

"Can I go now?"

"No." Gordon said. I looked up in shock. "We can't let you go back to the Joker Julia." He leaned forwards. "We can promise you protection we just need to know where he is." I looked at Batman and suddenly I realized something. I'd been outside for a long time, it'd really early in the morning when I'd been taken to the MCU and then I'd gone to sleep for a long time. Batman only came out at night…how long had I been here?

"How long have I been here?" I whispered suddenly. Gordon raised his eyebrows.

"Why?" I tried to stand, panicking.

"Tell me! How long have I been here!" Gordon checked his watch.

"Almost 20 hours." He said. Oh no.

* * *

**Gordon**

"You need to let me go." She said.

"And why would we do that?" Asked Batman.

"Do you want innocent people to die?" she asked shaking her handcuffs in frustration. "Didn't I tell you I had to be back before dawn?" She sounded like a teenage girl who'd just broken her curfew, except this time she had a right to fear for her life.

"Julia listen there is no way he can get into the MCU in the first place, you don't need to worry about anything. It's impossible." I said, trying to console her. This just made her more angry.

"Impossible? HE'S THE **FUCKING** JOKER!" She yelled furiously. Suddenly there was a loud yell from outside the room, followed by another and another. Batman instantly got up and made his way to the door.

"No stop!" Julia shrieked and I turned to see her leap out of her chair and fling herself after the Batman, the handcuff keeping her to the table causing her to fall painfully to the ground. "Don't go out there, please you'll die!" Batman paused and turned around.

"Why?" He growled. She paused calculating and all of a sudden her face paled. "Oh god." She whispered.

"What?" I asked, my heart sinking.

"Toxic gas." She said. "He calls it smilex. It causes the nerves in your mouth to freeze, giving you a permanent smile which causes you to suffocate and die in less than five minutes." Batman glanced at me and I nodded. I trusted the girl.

"Then how do we stop it?" Batman asked. Julia shook her head.

"You don't." She said quietly. Batman huffed in frustration and fiddled with his belt pulling out three gas masks. He handed one to me and stalked over to Julia lying on the ground and put it on her mouth.

"Stay here." He growled. Julia smirked through the mask.

"Like I have a choice." She replied, jingling the handcuff attaching her to the table. Batman turned in a sweep of his cape and I opened the door with my card. The hallways were filled with some sort of gas in the air. I closed the door behind me and turned. Batman was already gone. Julia was right, the Joker had invented some sort of gas, and from the looks of it, it wasn't good.

* * *

**Julia**

When Gordon opened the door, gas flooded the room. He instantly closed it and I lay on the ground, unable to get up without the mask slipping off my face. I could here the screaming and loud noises coming from outside the room and I concentrated on taking small breaths of air through the gas mask.

It seemed like hours passed before the door finally opened. I glanced up, expecting to see Gordon or Batman standing there but to no avail. The Joker strided into the room, humming quietly to himself, blood covering his purple trench coat. He walked in, glancing about the room, then saw me lying on the floor and started to laugh.

I glared at him through the mask as he stood there, clutching his stomach, his mouth without a gas mask, cackling madly. I was a little confused by his absence of a gas mask, there must be some sort of cure to it, or maybe he had injected himself with chemicals so much that nothing affected him anymore.

"Well look who we have _here_." He growled, finally getting himself under control. He was still smiling but I could see his eyes were black with fury. "Huh….I see a **little girl** who is gone for a day and gets herself….arrested." He knelt down beside me. "Guess who's _**grounded**_ huh?" I simply glared at him and he huffed, then uncuffed me from the table. When I brought out my hands for him to unlock the handcuffs he smirked.

"No way sweetheart." He hissed. I opened my mouth to say something but the Joker picked me up off the ground, one hand on the gas mask to keep it from slipping and dragged me out of the room.

At one point, I finally got to my feet, and we walked faster. I'd be lying to say the things I saw didn't frighten me. The grotesque faces that grinned at me as we walked along, and the ones still succumbing to the chemicals. It looked like those were the ones the Joker played with, for they clutched at their bleeding mouths, whimpering on the ground. They were all professionals, police officers who had seen horrible things. But nothing prepared them for this.

I could hear people running around in other rooms and I breathed a small sigh of relief. They weren't all dead. Maybe Gordon and Batman were both okay. The Joker shoved me into the arms of a goon wearing a gas mask. The goon grabbed my mask before it could fall off and the Joker pulled out a pocket knife.

"Bring her to the truck." He said, looking back.

"Where are you going?" I asked stupidly. He grinned maliciously.

"Bat hunting." He snarled. The horror must have been evident on my face because the Jokers grin only widened. "Ah ah ah sweetheart. You're _**grounded**_ remember?" I glared at him as the goon pulled me out the MCU. I couldn't do anything, if I tried to break away from the goon my mask would fall off and I would be sporting a smile in minutes.

We walked quickly along the alleyway, well, more so the goon dragged me along as I stumbled and we were just reaching the truck when another of our cars came screeching round the bend to a stop. A second later, Harley flew out of it, her gaze wild and a couple other goons tumbled out behind her. She looked at the goon, her eyes flickering to me and then towards the MCU, her eyes widening with horror.

"He's still in there? Alone?" She shrieked at the goon holding me. He nodded and Harley scampered off towards the MCU. I watched her go and the goon pulled me into the truck that Harley hadn't come from. Then the goon took off his mask. William glared at me.

"Are you really that stupid? I knew you were mad but you got yourself arrested too?" I slumped into one of the seats in the van.

"Shut up William." I said softly. His expression changed and he sat beside me. He didn't say anything, just put my arm around me. I leaned away from him, and pulled my knees up to my chest, looping my handcuffed arms around them. I didn't look at Williams face, but I knew it was pained.

"I-I wish…." William stuttered. I glanced at him and he sighed furiously. He stood and sat on the other side of the truck, pulling the mask back over his face. I leaned my head against the car seat as the sirens escalated, the screams pierced the night. I hated feeling so useless. Batman and the Joker were in there, together and I couldn't do anything to protect either of them. Batman was my hero, no matter what he told me I still worshipped the ground he walked on. He was everything I had dreamed of being before…..him. And the Joker had hurt me, tore my life apart and killed the ones I loved….but he was still my father and for some stupid and idiotic reason, I didn't want him to die.

It seemed like forever before the Joker, Harley and a couple of goons climbed into the truck. William slid into the drivers seat and we careened off into the streets of Gotham without a glance. The Jokers eyes were alight with excitement, his face bloody and Harleys even worse. He grabbed Harley by the shoulders, and stared at her.

"Mission accomplished sw_h_eets?" He said questionably, his eyes flickering to me for a second. She grinned even wider, and nodded vigorously. The Joker smiled with her, his eyes dangerous.

"Good girl." He growled. He slammed Harley against the wall and kissed her so hard she screeched in pain. That only encouraged him. Harley must have done a bang up job tonight, whatever "mission accomplished" meant.

At this point, I only hoped that he'd forgotten me but that was not the case, for he suddenly stopped devouring Harley and turned to me, his eyes black. I tried to prepare myself, to defend myself, but I just felt so…broken. He moved towards me in the truck and I kept eye contact, trying to keep my cool. What he said surprised me.

"I have a uh little surprise for you sweetheart." He said quietly, his voice laced with venom. _No. _I didn't want any surprises. I was sick of this, sick of not being able to see the one person who I cared about most in the world, not being able to mend the relationship between William and I, not being able to be normal. I pushed him away from me and reached up with my handcuffed hand.

I pulled the small knife out of my hair that even Gordon wasn't able to find and then I aimed it at the Joker, fury overtaking me. I was just so sick of it all. The Joker crossed his arms and I could see William at the wheel looking in the rearview mirror at me, his usual icy glare now filled with worry. I glanced back at the Joker, my hand tightening on the knife. No one moved.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you sweethear-t." The Joker said calmly. I hesitated.

"And why is that?" I hissed angrily.

"Cause then poor little circus boy wouldn't have any arms or legs to ever do any tricks again." The Joker replied simply_. Oh god no._

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun!!!! Anyway, please read and review and I'll update soon!**


	35. Chapter 35 Grayson and Zucco

**Sorry it took so long for me to update, but if it helps this is an obsenly long chapter, so if you like that kind of thing thats great, if you don't then sorry bout that! Thanks so much for all the reviews, couldn't do this without you! **

**_Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue pretty please!_**

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

_"Cause then poor little circus boy wouldn't have any arms or legs to ever do any tricks again."_

_Dick._

My heart stopped and I stumbled to the side as the car swerved round the bend.

"…H-how….where is he…." I could barely even speak, the shock was so great.

"Oh he's fine, **Harley-doll** has been taking _veeerrrry_ good care of him sweetheart, haven't you Harls?" Harley nodded gleefully but her eyes stared at me guiltily, like she felt bad. The Joker continued.

. You don't need to worry er one bit….except for the fact that if you don't do **ex-actly** as I say he's dog chow." Suddenly, an idea came to my head.

"How do I know your telling the truth?" I asked, a small bit of hope in my heart. The Joker glanced at Harley who handed him something small. The Joker held it up and the bright colours of green red and yellow caught in the light. I whimpered. Dicks pocketknife.

It was at this time, that I remembered what William had said to me the first time I saw him again. _I would die for you_.

I may not understand the whole point of love, but I knew, that I would do anything, even die if that meant Dick Grayson stayed alive. And that, was not a good thing for me.

But, I couldn't stand here and cry, I couldn't loose it, couldn't break down. That wouldn't do him any good. I needed to play my cards right, perfectly until I figured out how to get him out of here. I had to keep focused or Dick Grayson wouldn't see another day.

"Okay." I said quietly. The Joker cocked his head.

"Whaaaat was that?" He asked mockingly.

"Okay." I repeated, fighting to keep my calm. "But, if I agree your uh** terms**, then you can't hurt him in anyway, nothing alright?" The Joker hesitated for a minute, then nodded.

"Deal sweethear-t." He said.

"Can I see him now?" I asked. The Joker laughed at me.

"Hmmm…..no." I made to throw my knife but he raised his eyebrows, his eyes darkening.

"Does he really not mean anything to you sweetheart?" I dropped my knife to the floor, my head spinning. The truck came to a stop and all of the goons and Harley, who had been watching the scene with apprehension, fled out the door. The Joker chuckled quietly and he strided over to me. I shook slightly, the handcuffs on my hands clinking together as I stared at the floor. The Jokers hands grabbed at my shoulders and he bent his head to whisper in my ear.

"You remember what I told you a looooong time ago sweetheart? Caring….._It'll kill you."_

A small shiver went down my spine and at that second the Jokers arms tightened on me.

"Oh sweetheart uh just so you know……you still haven't been punished."

****

I lay curled up in my bed, eyes wide awake, knowing that somewhere, maybe not in this warehouse, but somewhere Dick was alone and scared. I shifted a bit and hissed painfully as the stitches on my back tightened.

It'd been worse than last time, since this time I had to take it. I still remember the Joker laughing as I glared at him, as I hissed with pain as the blade dug into my skin. I took it all, I didn't fight back. How could I? Dick's life was in my hands and I wasn't going to throw it away to protect myself from a couple new scars….even if they were….

my eyes teared up all of a sudden and I looked down at my arm, covered in gauze. Two scars this time, one on my other arm spelling out Joker, the other a large J on my shoulder. It was horrible, I hated the scars, loathed them to the point I wanted to rip off my own skin to be rid of them yet…

_I felt like I belonged._ I shook my head furiously, but the thought never went away. I never tried to leave here because this was the only time in my life I'd felt like I was wanted somewhere, that I belonged and wasn't ostracized. In some sick place in the back of my mind…I enjoyed it all. A part of me belonged in this world, a part of me loved it. The other wanted nothing more than to be accepted. I clenched at Dicks pocketknife, which Joker had given me out of the _**goodness of his heart**_. A part of me loved all of it, the scars and all, the other just wanted to be left alone.

****

The next morning I slumped out of my room, my eyes heavy from the absence of sleep, but focused on the task at hand. I knew that I'd have to do exactly as the Joker says, I had no choice in the matter. I would never let Dick die, never. I had to do as the Joker says but it didn't mean I couldn't try to bribe Harley to let me see Dick. When I came downstairs, I knew the Joker wasn't there. The goons were lounging around much more relaxed and even talking to each other. Course, they all quieted down when I walked into the room, except for Harley who grinned at me from the fridge.

"Hey sweetie! Ya want some lucky charms?" I grinned painfully at Harley hating the words that came out of my mouth.

"Sure Harley." She giggled and turned back to the fridge and the smile left my face as I sat down at the big table.

_Come on you have to butter her up_. I thought furiously. Harley came skipping towards me, milk and lucky charms flying everywhere. She clunked the bowls on the table.

"Oops!" She exclaimed, staring at the mess on the ground. She ran and grabbed a towel and I stared at the floating marshmallows in my cereal.

_Dick loves Lucky Charms_.

I shook my head and Harley jumped into the chair beside me. The sheer energy of her was enough to exhaust you.

"So you think we can go shopping today Julia?" Harley chirped happily. "You really need some new clothes huh?" I raised my dark eyes to meet her baby blues and I painted a smile on her face.

"Sure Harley." I said smoothly. "I really appreciate the offer." I looked back down at my cereal.

_Time to play._

"You know," I said softly, after a moment. "My Mom never took me shopping." I sniffed for effect and I heard Harley shift closer to me.

"Really Julia?" She asked quietly. I nodded my head, keeping my eyes on my cereal, refusing to blink. Finally they started to water.

"Yes." I replied. "I was kind of lonely you know, I didn't have a father and my mother was never around." I raised my eyes to meet Harleys and I could almost see her heart break at my teary eyes.

"Then I met you." I whispered. "You're everything I would ever want in a mother Harley, you're so kind to me, so caring, so full of love." I put my hands in my lap and glanced away, then back to see Harley's eyes filled with tears.

"I never knew what love was until you showed me." Harley put her hand on top of mine, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Oh Julia sweetie, ya know you're like a daughter ta me, I really love you lots." I smiled at her.

"That means a lot to me Harley." I leaned in closer to her, my look darkening. "My mother never loved me Harley. Do you know what she did to me? We were walking down an alleyway and a man pulled a gun on us. My Mom ran away and left me to deal with the man by myself. She didn't care if I died" Harley gasped, and choked back a sob while I nodded pathetically. It was good Harley was so emotional and ditzy; there were a lot of gaps in my story. Like for instance, how I got away from the said mugger. "A mother is supposed to die for her children….would you die for me Harley?" Harley nodded, rubbing my hand.

"Oh yes, course honey I would. I love ya." I choked back a fake sob.

"That means so much to me, but do you know what's worse than knowing your mother didn't care enough about you to save your life?" Harley shook her head, so involved in my pack of lies.

"What?"

"Knowing that the one person you cared most about in the world is in trouble and not being to save them, only being able to succumb to another's will while for all you know that person is dead." A few real tears leaked out of my eyes. "Harley, you know that love you feel for me? It's the same that I feel for Dick Grayson." Harley tensed at the name, and she instantly drew away.

"Harley please." I whimpered, getting down on my knees.

_Milk it Julia._

"Please, it hurts me so much not to know how he is. If you could only let me see him, just for a minute…" A small little sob escaped Harley's lips. She was going to say yes, she was going to let me see Dick…

"Oh Julia honey, I'm so sorry I-I can't." I looked up at her, frowning.

"What?" I snapped.

"Mista J told me not to. I'm sorry sweetie but I can't disobey my man, I just can't." I stood and shoved the bowel of cereal at Harley. She didn't move as she was covered in Lucky Charms and Milk, just stared hopelessly at me. I glared at her, my heart thumping wildly, my eyes instantly drying of their tears. What a waste of time.

"Fine." I growled. Harley leaned back in her chair, trying to clear as much space between me and her as possible. I glared at her. I wanted her to hurt, to feel the pain I felt in my heart. I cleared my throat.

"You know what Harley? You may love me like a daughter and the Joker more than anything else in the world but you can be sure that neither of us feel the same way about you." Her face paled and I pivoted on me heel, and ran back up the stairs into my room. I slammed the door and collapsed on my bed. I should have known about Harley. That girl would saw off her own leg if the Joker told her to. I'd just have to cope with the fact that in this place, Joker was boss and I could never undermine that. I pulled some crayons from the floor and pressed them angrily onto a piece of white pristine paper. Just because I should have known that Harley would never disobey the Joker, didn't mean I had to like her again.

****

It wasn't untill the next day in the evening that the Joker showed up. He looked positively gleeful about something, but I wasn't even going to try to find out what.

"Oh Julia!" He crowed, stepping dramatically into the room. "Are you _ready_ for tonight?" I glanced up at him from my drawings of Harley dangling over a shark tank while the Joker fell off an airplane.

"Probably not." I replied snidely. "But I'm pretty sure I don't have a choice about it anyway." Joker smirked and chucked me under the chin.

"You're learning sweetheart." Suddenly, his hand grabbed at my hair and I winced as he pulled, forcing me to stand up. "But before tonight I think there's a little circus boy who wants to uh….see you hm?" My eyes brows raised in surprise and my spirit lifted. The Joker didn't relinquish his hold on my hair, until halfway out of the room when I finally wrestled out of his grasp.

He put one hand on the back of my neck instead and guided me down the stairs, to the main room. I saw William, staring at me from hollowed and sunken eyes as he sat, idly twirling a gun with his fingers on the couch. He was muttering to himself, and I shuddered slightly at the sight of him, a twinge of sympathy running through me.

I hadn't spoken to William since that night in the truck and even before then I'd seen him slowly deteriorating. I should speak to him….I really should…I grabbed the green yellow and red pocket knife in my pocket. Dick. William was instantly gone from my mind, overshadowed by the thought of seeing Dick. The Joker wrapped a blindfold over my eyes and I protested by trying to wrestle it off my face. The Joker stopped me, hissing in my ear.

"Do you **not** want to see the rugrat sweetheart?" I froze and the Joker led me along. The noises of the warehouse faded as a door slammed behind me and we continued along, my shoes clicking across the hard floor. Then, the blindfold was ripped off my eyes and I opened them, wincing at the bright light. A door stood in front of me. I glanced up at the Joker, hesitating. He nodded eagerly, licking his lips excitedly. I glanced around the hallway I was standing in, especially at the two goons on either side of me, then opened the door.

The light flickered on in the dark secluded room and my eyes took in the pitiful sight of Dick Grayson, his hands tied around the one of poles supporting the ceiling, his feet locked in handcuffs. His black hair was covered with grime and hung over his face, which slumped onto his chest. His clothes were torn and bloody in parts. He didn't look seriously hurt, and a huge weight was lifted off my chest.

I made to go to him, not even bothering to glance at the Joker. I yanked hard trying to pull away from his hand and surprisingly, he let go, sending me stumbling towards Dick. I turned around and glanced at the Joker. He nodded, his eyes dark, the right side of his mouth twitching. I continued to stumble to Dick, collapsing to the ground in front of him. I took in the small little boy in front of me.

"Hey Dick," I said softly, brushing his grimy hair from his face with my shaking hands. "Hey buddy." He started, his entire body tensing, his head shooting up, eyes looking around wildly. He took in the Joker his face paling, though his eyes remained full of courage. He was such a strong kid. Then, his eyes found mine.

"Jewel?" He asked softly. My arms threw themselves around his tiny body and I fervently stroked his hair, murmuring into his shirt.

"Oh Dick I'm so happy your okay." I could feel Dick shaking, sniffling as I clung to him. I pulled away to look in his face, my hands on his shoulders. He stared at me, his eyes filled with confusion.

"Jewel what's going on?" He asked. I took his face in my hands, my emotions threatening to break me apart.

"Don't worry Dick." I said hurriedly, not answering his question. "You'll be out of here as soon as possible. I promise." Dick sighed heavily, eyeing the Joker behind me.

"He's your Dad?" Dick asked, tilting his head, trying to see the resemblance. I nodded weakly.

"Yes." Dick looked back at my face and suddenly his eyes found the scars on my arms. His eyebrows furrowed.

"He did that to you." I didn't answer and Dick shifted to get my attention.

"Don't worry Jewel, Batman's going to save us." I smiled weakly and heard the Joker laughing mercilessly behind me.

"Okay Dick." I said softly. Dick shook his head adamantly.

"No you don't get it! He will!"

"Julia." Joker said merrily from the room. I glanced behind me, and saw the Joker becoming with one finger. I shook my head.

"No, can't I just…" The Joker was across the room in a flash, his hand slapped Dick hard against the cheek and I roared with fury, standing to attack the Joker. He stopped me instantly, a knife poised at Dick's neck. I looked down at the boy, who hissed painfully, inching away from the knife as it cut into his skin. I watched as the tiny bit of crimson blood beaded up from the cut

"Okay." I said pleadingly. "Okay I'll leave." The Joker smirked and shoved me out of the room. I got one last glimpse of Dick as I left his eyes watching me go with terror. The door slammed behind me and the Joker shoved the blindfold back on my face. He pushed me forwards and we began to walk, my head still reeling from seeing Dick again.

"Do you see the stakes now sweetheart?" The Joker murmured in my ear. "If tonight, you do _**exactly**_ as I say….well circus boy may be back with Bruce Wayne sooner than later." I nodded fervently. I would do whatever it took to get Dick out of here.

****

That evening I stood in the middle of the warehouse, the Joker pacing around me, eyeing what I was wearing. I'd been forced to wear my circus costume and Harley under the Joker's orders had artfully cut pieces of cloth from the back so that the large J on my shoulder was shown. The sleeves of my costume had also been ripped to show my scars on my arms. My wild hair had gotten a bit longer, but it still stuck up at different ends. I wore my own heavy mascara and lipstick; luckily I hadn't been forced to wear the war paint. The Joker stopped and grabbed my cheek. I flinched and growled at him.

"Let go." He leered at me.

"Come on sweetheart, let's see a nice….big….smile." He stretched my cheeks, until it hurt and I pulled away. I knew the stakes tonight, I knew what was going on. Tony Zucco was hosting a party at his house and we were going to take out the entire Zucco brood once and for all, reinstating the Joker in charge of the mob. I was going to kill tonight, the Joker wouldn't be showing any mercy and I wouldn't be complaining. Dicks life sat in my shaking hands and I wasn't going to throw it away. T

he Joker laughed at me, his hand locking around my wrist. Then we were off, out of the warehouse and into Gotham.

For once in my entire time here, I was put in the other car with a couple of the goons, consequently including William, while the Joker, Harley and the rest rode in the other one. William sat down at the back and in the spur of the moment, I sat beside him. The other goons avoided me, they treated me just like they treated the Joker, with respect and fear. I really couldn't complain. William glanced up as I sat beside him, but didn't move away.

"Hi." I said quietly. William nodded his head.

"How's the kid?" He asked quietly, a hint of anger in his voice.

"He's okay." I replied. "I'm worried though, I don't know if I'll be able to…get him out alive." William only huffed irritably.

"Your going to do anything the Joker asks you to aren't you?" I winced.

"Yes." I said after a minute. "I have to." William didn't respond, so I tried to change the subject. I didn't want to walk away or stop talking to him, I knew he was hurting and I'd been ignoring it for a long time. So, I pulled out a different topic.

"Does Zucco know you, since you're related to him?" William chuckled coldly, still not meeting my eyes.

"As if. My father was killed by Zucco, his own brother when he ratted them out to the police. They don't even know I exist." Suddenly William looked up at me and I saw how foggy his eyes looked, how desperate he seemed.

"Would you kill for the circus boy?" He asked sharply. I tensed, taken completely off guard.

"Yes, of course I would." I said strongly. William nodded, his face darkening.

"You know what Julia? I thought for the longest time, that you weren't able to love, weren't able to understand. But you do love the circus boy, you really do. In the end, you just didn't love me." With that, he stood and the truck came to a stop. I watched him jump out of the truck, and then stood on shaky knees. The way William had looked when he'd said those last words, like he'd just broken into a thousand pieces and someone had tried to put him back together again, only to discover they did it wrong.

William wasn't my William anymore, he'd been broken and pieced back together incorrectly. He was about to fall to pieces again, and this time, it wouldn't be pretty.

****

The party was in full swing when we walked into Tony Zucco's mansion but the silence was deafening when the Joker entered the room, firing off gun shots. Harley laughed gleefully, wielding a wooden mallet. It looked too heavy for her flimsy body but she crashed it down onto a mans head anyway, blood squirting up and covering her face. She giggled, but her eyes remained foggy and far away, looking anywhere but me and the Joker. She was hurting, my words had cut into her deeper than any knife.

"Harley." Joker sung joyfully. She glanced at him.

"Go check on the Zucco children hm?" She nodded cheerfully and she and a couple of goons including William hurried out of the room. The rest kept their guns aimed at the many people standing shocked in the ballroom.

The Joker kept his hand on my wrist and I became the center of attention as the rich and famous craned their necks to see me. I'd become an oddity in Gotham, they saw the Joker all the time, but I was never there. People pointed to the scars on my back and forearms and I tensed, my eyes narrowing.

"I hope you are all enjoying this evening?" The Joker cackled. A young man stepped forward, his eyebrows furrowed.

"This is a private party." He said, no hint of fear in his eyes. The Joker raised his eyebrows.

"Oh really, well that's uh kinda rude." He pressed the gun into my hands shoved me towards the man. "Some people could get realllly angry if you said that to them." The Joker pointed the gun I was holding at the man. "They may just uh…crack." He leaned in and whispered.

"Go ahead sweetheart."

The gun was held in my sweaty hands as I pointed it at the young man. The Joker laughed eerily, his hands resting possessively on my shoulders.

"You know what Julia? I'm uh starting to think you like this sort of thing." I shook my head weakly and the Joker laughed loudly, his entire body shaking. "No? Well I think you're wrong. You see it in your eyes sweetheart, you love seeing the pain feeling the uh power. Its uh that easy you know, just a little twitch of your thumb and its alllll over."

"Please don't make me do it." I said softly, pleadingly. "I can't."

"You can." The Joker growled, his fingers digging into my costume. "And you will." The Joker paused.

"Unless circus boy's life isn't worth it." A cold shiver ran through my spine and I pulled the trigger.

The gunshot rang across the room and the man fell to the ground. I starred at him as blood slowly oozed from his chest, as he died right at my feet. The Joker laughed manically and strode away from me, leaving me standing in front of the corpse alone. I looked up to see a young woman staring at me with horror, clutching a pregnant belly. His wife. _His baby._

His baby, who would grow up without ever knowing her father, feel the absence on their shoulders, wish and pray that just once they'd get to see them. I'd given someone else the same life as me, the same emptiness in their heart. Fathers day, when everyone in class would make presents for their Dad and your mother would have to explain to you that no, you couldn't give your father your macaroni glued fathers day card…..because he wasn't there. To the see the pity in others eyes as they enjoyed their family, their whole family while I suffered in my broken one. I backed away from the horrified pregnant woman, now lying on the ground over her husband's dead body, sobbing hysterically.

"I-I…I'm so…." I stuttered. A man with horn rimmed glasses spoke up.

"What, you're sorry? You think that's going to make any difference?" He snapped at me, his eyes filled with disgust. I saw the looks of other people in the room, how they glared at me with hate.

"N-no," I stammered. "You don't understand…I-I had no choice…I…" The Joker cackled gleefully and I turned abruptly on shaky legs to see Zucco walk to the front of the room, two muscular looking men with him. The Italian looked positively livid, his face red with rage as he glared at the Joker.

"Hey Zucco, how's uh the wife?" Joker asked. Zucco's face paled and you could almost see the pain in his eyes.

"YOU BASTARD!" He yelled, lunging at the Joker. The Jokers eyes met mine for an instant before Zucco tackled him to the ground.

_Fight. _

I didn't have time to think, or morn over what I'd just done, I simply yanked one of my knives out of its sheath and threw it with shaking hands. That made no difference it hit its target, Zucco's leg. The mob boss roared with pain and collapsed to the ground as my other knives flew out of my hands and hit the goons in the backs. The Jokers goons came forwards and finished of the men.

The Joker grabbed Zucco by the hair and shoved him across the room into a chair. He paced towards the Italian who was now moaning in pain, his eyes fixed on me. I straightened, but kept one of my knives out, trained on the guests.

"Tony, Tony, Tony, you never learn….do you? The mob was mine Tony, I uh made that _verrrry_ clear. But you just had to i**nterfere** huh?" The boss glared at the Joker.

"Go to hell." He growled. The Joker laughed gleefully.

"Oh Tony you sure have a sense of ah humor." Harley walked into the room, carrying a toddler. The little boy was crying but he clung to Harley, until he saw Zucco sitting in the chair.

"Daddy!" He screamed gleefully. The Joker smirked and Zucco stared at his son with shock. Then, he looked up at the floor above him, as if he could see his other children through it.

"Oh yes, all the other rugrats are taken care of." The Joker turned to me. "Julia's going to go right up there and _check on them_ right sweetheart?" I could feel the colour draining from my face, but I nodded weakly. Joker then glanced towards Harley and grabbed the squirming child from her.

"Harls the **Bat-man** is going to be crashing in here anytime soon. You're going to be the distraction hm?" Harley nodded eagerly.

"Take the white van and do what you want with it, but not the black one. _**Daddy**_ likes that one." Harley clapped her hands and she and a couple of the other goons hurried out of the ballroom. Batman would take the bait; Harley was great at impersonations, the life of a mob boss can be left to the police. If it's a chance at catching the Joker, he'd go for it, no matter what.

The Joker flashed his gaze in my direction and I remembered Dick, then ran out of the room and up the stairs to find the children's nursery. It was hard to concentrate, to try to keep the dead mans body from my mind but it wasn't difficult to find the room. I could hear the sobbing from here. I took a deep breath before I opened the door, maybe I'd be able to save these children. I nodded and turned the handle expecting to see the children huddled into the corner.

When I walked into the room though I got a rude awakening. William stood there, his knife bloody, two young girls lying dead on the ground. His eyes were filled with glee, looking foggy and distant. His face was covered with blood, his skin almost white, contrasting against the red. William had gone insane.

* * *

**Well, just so you know this story will be over soon, yes I dare say those horrible and depressing words. I have some strings to tie up and it depends on if I decide to include this extra bit that I have written up when the story will end. **

**Anyway, please review and the next chapter is done so it will be up soon! Again, sorry for the length of this chapter, thats not going to happen again if I can help it, I know many people don't like reading long chapters.**


	36. Chapter 36 Cry Just a Little

**Thanks so much to the reviewers! Hopefully you all don't hate me after this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any DC comic characters.....so please don't sue me :)**

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

I edged carefully into the nursery, my eyes fixated on the horrible yet strangely other worldly figure that William made, standing in the middle of room, his body covered with blood but his hair shining in the light, his foggy eyes looking directly at my face. The other children cowered in the corner and William waved at me, a smile pasted on his lips.

"Hey Jules!" He exclaimed cheerfully. "Have you met my cousins?" He hugged the little girl he was holding by the hair and she whimpered, trying to push away from him.

"Hahaha." William said happily. "They're scared of me Jules, cause they don't know me. You remember that I told you that their Dad killed mine for betraying the mob to the police right?" I simply starred at him, unable to comprehend the scene in front of me. Williams face fell and he looked almost childlike, staring as the blood of his cousins slowly stained the carpet. "They never got to know me, their cousin, who had to grow up with his mothers' grandparents because his mother decided to get cancer and **die**." He said, ending harshly, a small frown on his face.

I starred at William as he spilled out these facts about his life. I'd never asked him anything, never thought he'd have suffered. And now, here he was standing in front of me, brutally killing children, for enjoyment. I had to stop this.

"Okay William, I get it. Now can you let the girl go?" William cocked his head at me, confusion on his face.

"But Julia, I don't get it. I thought you'd like me more if I did this." He said innocently. The little girl he was holding tried to pull away and William slit her throat, blood spurting across his face as the little figure collapsed to the ground. We both watched as she slowly chocked on her own blood, and when I looked back up I saw William looking at me expectantly.

"Oh William." I whispered, the realization suddenly dawning on me. I'd driven my William to insanity. I'd ignored him, then spurned him on, then left him to fend for himself. Then, I'd come back and told him I couldn't love him, I'd pulled out his heart and stepped on it, pushed him to his limits and then I was left with the result. In a way, William was my Harley Quinn. But, unlike the Joker, I didn't want this new person in front of me; I wanted the old one back.

"William, please stop." I pleaded with him. "This isn't you; don't do something you'd regret." William laughed coldly, glaring at me.

"What does it matter?" He hissed. "What's the point in living when you don't have anyone who thinks you're worth it?"

"I think you're worth it." I said pleadingly. His eyes softened, but then he growled, and pulled out his gun. He shot at one of the children and the others screamed as a little boy fell to the ground. He glanced at me.

"I know you do. I know you think 'I'm worth it.'" He replied. "But do you love me?"

"Yes." I said. William laughed.

"No, you don't Jules. You wouldn't choose me over your bratty little circus boy, or even the Joker." I shook my head.

"That's not true William!" I shouted at him. But it was. And he knew it. It was tearing him apart.

"I sacrificed everything for you Jules." He said morosely. "I'd do anything for you; give you the moon if you'd just love me." His face hardened. "But you don't. That's okay though." He must have seen the surprise on my face, because he smiled slightly. "Yeah its okay because I'm going to make sure that no one except me ever loves you again." He aimed the gun at me and I stepped back.

"William please." I whispered. He smiled, and I saw tears streaking down his face.

"I love you Jules." He said. The gun fired and I shrieked with pain as it pierced my side. I fell to the ground and William was there to catch me. He gathered me in his arms, rocking me back and forth as blood ebbed from my wound.

"Shush my love." He whispered in a singsong voice. "Go to sleep honey." I tried to push him away and he lay me on the ground. I continued to fight him off, ripping off a piece of his blue shirt. Then, I couldn't muster up enough strength to do anything so I let William pet my sweaty hair, clutching desperately at the piece of blue cloth as fire raged through my body. He kissed my cheeks and lips and I blinked blearily up at him. Then, he began to speak.

"I wish you could feel how I felt when you left. I wish you could feel the pain, like you were being ripped to shreds. I wish….I wish that all the tears that fell from my eyes weren't a waste." William stroked my hair and I watched him as tears quietly ran down his cheeks. But I didn't cry for him, and it hurt me more than the bullet. I could have been angry, he'd just shot me for pete's sake, but the only feeling I felt was guilt.

Maybe it was because I was delirious or that I was dying, but all I wanted was forgiveness. I had hurt William, torn him apart beyond repair. It was my fault. I'd been suffering all my life but I never once suffered for William. He suffered for me.

"I'm… so sorry… William." I said painfully, taking deep breaths in between words. "M-my fault." William shook his head and he stroked my cheek.

"No, it's not Jules. I love you and you don't love me back. It's okay though, now we'll be together forever." _No, it's not okay, it was my fault._ I moaned from the pain coursing through my body and William took my hand. He bent down and kissed me again on the lips and this time I kissed him back. I didn't blame William for shooting me; he was insane because of me. I had killed him, now he wasn't even my William anymore. William drew back and smiled down at me, his eyes faraway.

"I wish just one time I could see you cry for me, make all my suffering not a waste. Please Jules I just want one thing…. just cry for me?" I looked up at him and opened my mouth, trying to form words. Suddenly, a gunshot rang through the air and William's expression became pained. He looked into my eyes.

"Please—" he started, and then collapsed on top of me, a bullet hole in his head. _William._

My hands instantly clutched at the body on top of me, the body that was digging into the bullet hole in my side, causing me unbearable pain. I didn't care, I wanted the pain. I deserved it. William had already been dead before the bullet killed him….I'd killed him myself….I had. The tears came now, running steadily down my face, falling into William's now bloody hair. Tears for him, the ones that he justly deserved. I couldn't give him my love….but I gave him my tears.

Footsteps approached me and William's dead corpse was kicked off me. The Joker huffed irritably at me.

"You're looking more like uh Swiss cheese every day sweetheart." He said sarcastically. I groaned with pain and he lifted me off the ground, my blood staining his jacket. Everything was so blurry now.

"Shush sweetheart. Daddy's got you." He said patronizingly. I felt comforted though and I clutched at his vest with the hand that wasn't holding the piece of Williams's shirt. I couldn't focus on anything anymore, the pain was too great. A hand slapped at my face hard and I shrieked, yanking on the Jokers vest so hard I ripped a piece of the purple fabric off.

"Come on sweetheart." The Joker snapped irritably. "Keep those eyes open or I may rip them out myself hm?" My vision faded to black, and my hands clenched around the two pieces of fabric the Jokers voice echoing around. _Oh William._

**

* * *

**

**Joker**

And, she was out. _Dam._

I growled irritably, glancing down at her unconscious body as I walked down the stairs.

I'd been in such a good mood too after offing Zucco and all of his party guests in a blazing and fantastic multitude of knives and smilex gas. The night had been perfect and I'd even gotten a chance to see how dangerous Julia was. Being able to throw a knife like that was better than shooting a gun, it made no noise.

I'd been all excited to play with the Zucco kids and Julia before it was time to go when I'd walked into that room. And now, my star weapon was bleeding to death in front of me. I walked out of the mansion and climbed into the truck as the goon started to drive. She was loosing a lot of blood. I didn't know if Harley would be able to get the bullet out. The truck swerved through traffic and I wrapped a shirt around the wound to maybe keep the blood in. I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been to let her out of my sight. Every time I did that she got into trouble. You think I would have learned by now.

*****

"Puddin we got trouble!" Harley yelled as soon as I walked into the warehouse. I put the girl roughly down on the table and pivoted facing Harley as she stared in shock at Julia.

"Trouble more than_ this_?" I snapped irritably. Harley starred at Julia in shock, her face turning pale at the blood. I grabbed her roughly by the hair.

"Hey." I growled. "Answer Harls….**now**."

"Yes." She whimpered.

"What?" I snarled.

"B-Batman." She whispered. I shoved Harley towards Julia.

"**Fix her."** I hissed furiously, then pivoted towards the goons nervously clutching their guns at the door. Time to sniff out the Bat.

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

"Its okay sweetie, it's going to be okay honey." I groaned, the light hurting my eyes. Black spots hampered my vision and I screamed in pain as Harley tried to find the bullet buried deep inside of me. My eyes found her face and I saw tears falling down her cheeks.

"Oh god, I can't do this, I don't know how…" she whimpered. I sighed, clutching at the ripped blue fabric in my hand. _William._ My other hand was clenched around a piece of purple vest. _Joker._

"Oh Julia honey I'm sorry I don't know how ta do this." She said, raising her hands that were now covered in my blood to her face. "I don't know what I'm going to do…."

Harley jumped when she heard the loud bang, followed by raucous laughter.

"What was that? You hear it Jules?"

"William." I whimpered. _Oh William. I'm so sorry_

I heard Harley leave, running away from me, towards the laughter.

"Mistah J!" My fingers started to go numb as I lay, unable to move on the table, squinting in the light. Then, a shadow blocked the brightness from me. I looked up into the face of darkness. The Batman picked me up and I clung to him, trying to hold onto the scarp pieces of fabric. I heard a soft whooshing noise as we flew through the air. A click as a rope attached itself to the ceiling. My hands were numb now, I couldn't feel them. Suddenly, the movement stopped and I felt the cold air on my neck. I heard a small voice.

"Jewel?" I couldn't see, the black spots covered my vision but I felt small hands hugging me. I knew that voice.

"Dick?" I murmured. "I'm so happy your okay."

"Dick hold onto my arm." Growled the Batman. Then I heard his voice again, but softer.

"Julia, you need to hold onto Dick with one of your arms if this is going to work." I clutched at the fabrics in my hand. Which one would I drop for Dick and the Batman? _William or Joker?_ My hand let go of the fabric before I could think about it and I grabbed onto Dick as the grappling hook shot up. As we rose towards the bridge, my eyesight cleared for just a minute as I watched the piece of blue fabric slowly float to the ground.

I looked down at my hand, where the piece of purple vest lay, then back to the tiny patch of blue t-shirt on the rooftop, still wet with my tears. Tears for him. _Goodbye William_. The black dots surrounded my vision and I succumbed to the darkness.

****

When I woke up, the first thing I smelt was the dampness. I opened my eyes and glanced blearily around, trying to focus in on the room around me….er cave? My eyes widened slightly and I tried to sit up, but groaned in pain when I did it too fast. I glanced down to see I was wearing a tank top, my waist being covered by a warm blanket. I pulled up the top to see that my waist covered in gauze and bandages. My eyes traveled from my stomach to the rest of the room.

I was sitting on a bed, and beside me was an operating table and a couple of cabinets. The rest of the cave was pitch black, I couldn't see anything else. Water dripped lightly from the ceiling and I heard the quiet noises of flapping wings. I glanced up to see bats hiding in the enclaves of the cave, as far as they could from the large light above me.

"You're awake." I turned, hissing with pain to see the Batman standing just out of the light. I nodded weakly and he strided closer.

"The bullet hit just below one of your ribs. It will heal fine, no permanent damages." I nodded again and he handed me a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"You can wear these." He said, then walked back into the darkness. I pulled the shirt over my head and pulled the blanket off me, then yanked the jeans over my legs. I stood on shaky legs and grinned at myself. The pain was nowhere close to comfortable, but I'd been through worse. Suddenly the cave filled with light and I blinked, surprised. The mass amount of technology in here was incredible, none I could put a name to.

Batman was standing up near the computers and after a second of hesitation I walked slowly towards him. He didn't pay attention to me so I slowly edged up to stand beside him, hugging my chest. It was cold in here.

"You have new scars." Batman said gruffly after a minute.

"Yes." I replied quietly. Batman simply stared at the computer, but I could see he was distressed. Finally he spoke.

"What happened at the Zucco manor?" I didn't say anything. "Julia I know the Joker was there, I know every single person in the mansion is dead, including a young man who was identified as a Joker goon. I checked his DNA and matched his photo. It's William Zucco, the previous junior photographer for the Gotham Times. What I don't know is why this perfectly sane man ended up killing all the children in the room and shooting you before being murdered by the Joker." I started.

"How do you know that?" Batman sighed heavily.

"Williams's gun was left beside him, the bullets from you and the children matched his gun. And Joker is the only one who draws smiley faces on his bullets. What I want to know is why." I shuddered, the night's events playing in my mind. The man, lying dead on the floor while his wife sobbed over top of him. Then I saw William's dead body collapsing on me, the life leaving his face, his beautiful blue eyes fading away.

"I killed two people that night." I whispered finally, "One with a bullet, the other with a broken heart."

_Could you cry a little  
Lie just a little  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
I gave now I'm wanting  
Something in return  
So cry just a little for me_

_**Cry by Angie Aparo**_

* * *

**Yeah, pretty sappy and stuff, I'm not to good at this kind of writing but I felt that William deserved a little sap for him. I don't enjoy killing my characters, in a way its like destroying a favorite childhood toy or treasured book….not fun. :(**

**Please review, make any predictions you want, the ending of this story is creeping right up and if you think you know what's going to happen and want to change it, well just press that button below. I'll update soon!**


	37. Chapter 37 All your fault

**

* * *

**

Uh....hi ;)

**I haven't updated I know its true,**

**but please don't hate me please don't boo,**

**This story is almost over only 3 chapters after this left,**

**that I promise.....**

**hey wait that didn't rhyme,**

**god dam it I've messed up my beginning maybe next time ;)**

**No clue why I just tortured you with my lovely rhyming skills....aha wait I do. This story is almost over that is true, but don't be blue. For there is another one just ahead, about rhymes and a newly scar faced Jack Napier with a ...dramatic pause.... a little sister who is desperatly trying to lead her Jack/Joker away from his new cause. More to come when this story is done.**

**Thats all I'm going to say and if it didn't make sense then maybe you weren't crazy enough to understand it.....**

**_Disclaimer: don't own don't sue._**

**

* * *

**

Julia Samuels

I refused to tell Batman anything else about what happened that night and after a minute he realized that I didn't want to talk about it and turned to his computer. I watched quietly as he dragged up file after file, my name on a couple of them and typed information in so fast I couldn't read it. I looked around the cave. God, Dick would have loved to be in here….wait, what had happened to him?

"Where's Dick?" I asked. "Is he safe?" Batman nodded slowly, and I saw him hesitate slightly.

"Yes…he's fine." He took a deep breath and closed the programs on the computer, turning to me. His bright blue eyes glimmered with intelligence.

"Julia, I became the Batman to clean up Gotham, but I never realized the repercussions that would follow. Now, not only do I have to fix Gotham, I have to fix the people affected by my wrath. The Joker is long gone, as are many of the costumed and insane villains out on the streets. Harleen Quinzel still has a good chance, but not as long as the Joker is around." His bright blue eyes flickered to my face and I was painfully reminded of William. "These are all insane psychopaths beyond repair. But, sometimes these insane people like to drag others down with them, like the unfortunate Quinzel and….you." His eyes bored into mine.

"You didn't deserve any of this Julia. You suffered enough when you were young, worked hard to get out into the world and were simply handed another plate full of disaster. No one deserves the life you've had." I looked down at my hands, clenching and unclenching them. Batman's gaze was too intense for me.

"I don't want you to suffer any longer Julia. That's why you're staying here." I looked up, my eyes wide.

"You don't have a choice. I'll deal with the Joker, and any thing he decides to do."

"B-but what about all the…" I trailed off, not even comprehending the idea of it.

"People? I'll deal with it." I tried to mouth words together and Batman's mouth twitched.

"I can't do this, I c-can't just stay in a cave the rest of my life…and what about Dick, how is he going to be safe from the Joker, I..I don't understand." Batman nodded slowly.

"Dick will be fine." He pulled the cowl off his head and I saw the tousled brown hair and handsome face of Bruce Wayne. "And so will you."

* * *

**Batman**

Julia didn't say a word until I got Alfred to bring Dick into the cave. The boy ran right into her arms, and she hugged him back, her eyes far away. Then, Dick tried to pull her off the table to show her the rest of the cave and she started, snapping out of her reverie. When she looked back at me, I was startled to see her eyes a dark chocolaty brown, not the usual black colour. A small smile spread on her face and her features almost seemed to soften. Julia Samuels had never been beautiful but happiness suited her, the scars and bruises on her face seemed to fade away. She nodded her head to me and I nodded back

She was happy, but it didn't mean she wanted to stay. Julia Samuels didn't want to be here forever or even for a day or two, that I knew. She wasn't one to follow rules, but I hoped that in the time, however long I was able to contain her here I would be able to bring her back to complete sanity. Sure, she looked like the Joker, but she couldn't be too much like him, could she? Maybe Dick would be able to keep her grounded.

I watched the boy speak with her, saw her face light up every time he looked at her. He introduced her to Alfred and she stared at him skeptically, sizing up the tux he was wearing. But, no matter how long Dick held her attention, her eyes always flitted back to me, taking in Bruce Wayne's head and Batman's body before looking away. Eventually, she let go of Dicks hand and walked hesitantly towards me. I was focused on the computer screens above me, but sensed her footsteps. I turned in the seat and she starred at me, her face full of joy, a small awed smile on her lips.

"I want to know everything." She said quietly, sitting into a chair across from me. "I want to know what its like, to be like you." I frowned.

"What, this?" I pointed to the cave around me. "Its not a life I would wish on anyone." Julia's gaze darkened and for a minute her eyes were black soulless holes before they lightened to the dark brown.

"Wanna trade?" She asked darkly. I shifted uncomfortably, trying not to look from the computer screen. I didn't like answering these questions with my cowl off. And Julia's eyes seem to bore right into me, even though they were light and kind now they still looked like the Jokers. I stood suddenly.

"Alfred, its quite late in the afternoon, I'm pretty sure Miss Samuels must be quite hungry and I don't think Dicks eaten yet either." Alfred nodded, and I heard Julia sigh angrily beside me, standing up to walk over to Dick.

"I'll fix them both something Master Bruce." Alfred said cordially. I spared a glance at Julia and saw her eyes were still fixated on me, a slight frown to her face. No, it wasn't just a frown, it looked like it on the outside but I knew that look. She was calculating her next move, trying to see how far she could push me, how much control I had over her. She wanted to know things about me, which was expectable curiosity but for her she wanted to use it as well.

She also was trying to figure out if I would stop her when she tried to go (which she would attempt). Finally, she didn't believe that I simply wanted to help her, she thought I was going to use her, like everyone else had.

Suddenly Dick called to her and a smile was pasted on her lips in a second, her eyes leaving mine. I watched her go out of the corner of my eye before I finally slumped in my chair. It didn't bother me that she didn't trust me, many didn't, or that she was going to try to find out as much about me as possible, she'd only be scraping the surface.

What bothered me was how difficult it was going to keep her here. Every time I looked at her I saw her father. I'd been wrong to think that she wasn't really that much like him. She was. And, like her father Julia Samuels would only be here as long as **she** wanted to and not even Dick could stop her from leaving.

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

Dick laughed gleefully at me when I glared at him, my face now covered in flour. Dick had persuaded the butler into baking cookies but luckily had not succeeded in forcing me to. I simply sat awkwardly at the counter, watching Dick destroy the expensive kitchen while the butler calmly cleaned up after him. The whole thing was still freaking me out. The fact that I knew who Batman was, the fact that he had decided to tell me such a huge and potentially dangerous truth was shocking not to mention how normal everything seemed.

Dick making cookies and me watching him, nothing to do with scars or blood or death. Dick of course, decided to get me back for not helping and when I'd been busy eating the sandwich in front of me, had tossed a vast amount of flour at me. I could see the butler also smiling in the corner of my eye, and my scowl deepened, but I could feel the corners of my mouth turned up a bit. I wiped the flour off my face hastily, and the butler passed me a cloth. Then, I looked back at Dick, who was still grinning at me like an idiot.

I stood up and strided around the counter to where Dick stood, slightly surprised to see he'd grown a little bit. Not a lot, but it showed me how much he'd changed. I bent down as far as I could without hurting myself so I was eye to eye with him.

"Now that wasn't very nice." Dick smirked at me.

"No it wasn't nice…it was hilarious!" He exclaimed. I grinned nastily and leaned closer to Dick, reaching for the flour bag behind me.

"No, that wasn't hilarious….This is." I poured the rest of the flour bag on top of Dick and he laughed hysterically, throwing more flour at me. I scooped up a handful of the flour and threw it at him, coating his already white face with more of the stuff. He laughed gleefully and I pinned him to the ground, tickling him senseless, wincing slightly as I had to bend farther down.

"No Jewel stop it! Stop it!" He spluttered, spitting out flour every time he spoke. Finally I relented and stood, chuckling at Dick who was still giggling as he tried to stand up. I looked up at the butler and saw there was a small smile on his face as he looked at the Dick enjoying himself.

"I'm sorry." I said quickly, suddenly realizing how much of a mess we'd made. "We'll clean it up." The butler shook his head, pointing to my waist.

"No, its perfectly fine, you need to get some rest. I'm pretty sure Master Bruce would not approve of you straining yourself in a condition like that." He turned, beckoning to me.

"I'll show you to your room and make sure to keep Master Grayson out of your way so you can sleep." Dick pouted, but then the butler pointed out that he had homework and the boy disappeared instantly, muttering something about how he had to clean his room.

I was led up a grand staircase and down the hall to a large room that's grandeur was hard to put into words. The butler left me then, and I heard the quiet lock of the door as he shut it. That usually would have bothered me, but now I was so exhausted and shocked by the beauty of the room that I ignored the fact that I had gone from being a prisoner in a warehouse to a prisoner in a mansion. _At least here they have running water._

* * *

**Joker**

_Wrong move Batsy, wrong wrong move_. I growled to myself. That guy had nerve didn't he? He had just broken the law, kidnapped a helpless girl from her father….I smirked. Ha. The Bat was a kidnapper! Suddenly a thought occurred to me. At least the girl would be stitched up. I knew the Bat had sustained many injuries and he never seemed to have a problem with them. Now, the only thing was that I needed dear Julia back. Course, the Batman wasn't going to let her out of his sight.

No…what I needed was a Bat distraction as well. And, I needed a way to get the girl running back to me. That wouldn't be hard, the second I put a gun to someone's head she'd be here. But, it needed to have er….style. I was sick of Julia and her little friends that helped her cling to sanity. The William character had slipped right under my nose and now he was done and Dick Grayson wouldn't take long to find again. The rest of the city hated her but what did _Julia_ want?

_**A Daddy.**_

I licked my lips excitedly. Oh I'd give her what she wanted. That, and a whole lot more.

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

_I stood in the streets of Gotham, the bright moon over my head. As I walked I came upon a young little red headed girl standing, looking up into the sky. I hurried over to her, curious._

"_What are you looking at?" I asked quizzically. The little girl glanced at me, a small smile on her freckled face. _

"_I'm looking for my Daddy. My mother told me he was somewhere up there." She pointed with a gloved hand up at the sky. "She told me he was always watching me, always by my side, that he loved me even though he never met me." I looked up at the sky, the smog from the city covering the stars from view. When I looked back down I saw the little girls smile had widened. She laughed happily and ran past me._

"_Daddy!" I turned and the little girl was gone, a man standing in the direction she'd gone._

_He stepped into the moonlight. The young man from the party the one I'd shot. He stood quietly, his hands at his sides as he stared at me, his black tux absent of blood. _

"_If you murder an innocent man you are responsible for the blood of his unborn descendants, and the weight of this responsibility is yours to carry to the end of time." He said softly. My breath caught in my throat. The little red headed girl…the baby in his wife's stomach._

"_She will have my eyes." The man said sadly. "But all she'll have is pictures to prove that." I shook my head, my head pounding._

"_No…you don't understand I had no choice! I had to kill you to save Dick I…" _

"_You never came home to see me." I pivoted and saw my mother walking through the alleyway towards me, her blue eyes calm, wearing black like the man._

"_M-mom?" I stammered. She stood a few steps away from me, no emotion on her face. "You killed me Julia. Why? Why couldn't you have ever come home, ever tried to see me? I tried to tell you I was sorry, all I wanted was to make amends but you let that madman kill me."_

"_I couldn't do anything else I was too late…" I whispered the pain in my heart to much to bear._

"_It wouldn't have been if you'd been there for Christmas." I shook my head weakly._

"_But I couldn't, I couldn't forgive you Mom, I was too scared I—"_

"_Then why should I forgive__** you**__?" she replied._

"_How could you?" The man said harshly from behind me._

"_How could you Julia?" My mother said, her face looking forlorn._

"_How could you Jules?" __**Jules.**_

_I turned, my back to the wall and saw William, walking towards me, wearing black like all the others except for a piece of blue t-shirt that he clutched in his hand. I tried to go to him but it felt like my feet were stuck to the ground, I couldn't move them. William stopped and I looked into his eyes which were clear, the insanity gone from them. _

"_You could have lied Jules, told me that you didn't care about me at all, made me leave you alone. But you didn't. You spurned me on, left me that knife, promised me you'd come back, left me to wallow in your wake. Then it was too late. Even then you didn't do the right thing. It was you who killed me Jules, not the bullet in my head." I shook my head._

"_No William, I couldn't make you leave…I really did care about you, I just—"_

"_Didn't love me." William said softly. "How could you Jules?" He dropped the t-shirt on the ground and I dropped to my knees to pick it up. A chill ran down my spine and I raised my head to see the Joker standing in front of me. _

"_How could you, how could you?" He mimicked mockingly laughing cruelly. "Sweetheart you really don't get it do you? You killed because you liked it Julia. You're just like me sweetheart……just like me." _

"_William?" I shrieked standing up with the blue cloth in my hand. "William?"_

"_William's dead sweetheart, mommy's dead, and circus boy will stay with the playboy instead of you………all you have is__** me**__."_

My eyes flew open and my last scream died on my lips as I sat up too quickly in bed, almost popping the stitches. I groaned with pain and looked up to see Bruce Wayne standing at the foot of the bed, wearing his batman costume with the cowl off. He took one look at my tear stained sweaty face and handed me a housecoat.

"The best way to cope with the pain is to talk about it." He said, beckoning me to follow him. After a moment of hesitation, I climbed out of the bed and pulled the housecoat on, then followed Bruce Wayne out of the room. It was time for me to talk, and talk I would. I only hoped that it would help.

* * *

**3 chapters to go.....review and the update will be here sooner than expected!**


	38. Chapter 38 Who am I?

**A late chapter and a short one, sorry about that. 2 more to go and I will update soon soon soon!!!! Thanks so much for the reviewers and the incredibly large amount of new people looking at this story, I'm sorry its almost over.**

**_Disclaimer: don't own and DC characters, but the others and my Julia are mine_**

**Joker**

The van screeched around the bend and Harley flew off the seat, yelping as she slammed into the wall. Usually, I would have laughed at her but I didn't even move, my foot tapped impatiently against the floor of the van, my teeth bit at my scars. I was really getting sick of all this, this need to protect and other stuff that came along with Julia.

I'd been so set on simply getting her back, teaching her a lesson; that I hadn't even considered killing her….because I don't want to. And that makes me want to kill her even more. I didn't need this, I didn't need her, I could find better henchgirls….I glanced at Harley splayed out on the floor…. Well at least ones I could warp easier.

I'd thought it was going to be so easy destroying Julia, driving her insane….but it hadn't been. Every time I'd broken her little lifelines, she'd found another one and another one, and now the Bat was even in on it! I smirked slightly. That was just fine though. Yes, tonight would be like striking down two birds with one stone. I'd get to play with Bats and get my Julia back. Then, I'd bring her down into insanity once and for all. But first….

The van stopped and I eyed the jugs of gasoline sitting in the truck, my eyes flickering to Harley who grinned gleefully at me. She flicked open her lighter, casting flickering shadows across her make-up covered face. I jumped out of the truck and she followed behind me, still playing with the lighter. I looked up at the large building in front of me, hands casually in my pockets.

"We gunna burn this one Puddin?" She asked from beside me. I turned to her and pulled her to me with one arm locked around her waist. She gave a small gasp and her lighter fell from her hands. I caught it before it fell and lit it, bringing it close to her cheek. She winced, pulling away but I simply took my other hand off her waist and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Yes **_Harls_**…we're gunna burn this one **_all the way down_**."

* * *

**Julia Samuels**

10 minutes later I sat curled up in a soft chair in the cave while Bruce Wayne stood in front of the many computers, their screens flashing as his hands swept across the keyboard. I wrapped the housecoat around me more, pulling down my sleeves to hide my scars. Batman er _Bruce Wayne's_ eyes flickered to me then back to the computer as he pulled out a file clearly marked "Julia Samuels".

I leaned forwards in my chair to read the words on the document as he sat down in a large straight-backed chair placed in front of the computers. Wow, the guy had really done a full analysis. He must have swiped the files from the hospital that I'd been in after I'd been kidnapped by the Joker the first time.

The document had everything, height, weight, hometown, characteristics,…..relations. Under relations my mothers name was there, with a link to the article about her death and the Joker's name was underscored and blue, a link to his file. My eyes skimmed down the file, wincing at the information about my scars. I was surprised that he thought I had some sort of mental condition…I'd just thought I was a little crazy not…_bipolar_ or something like that. Wayne turned his chair to face me and leaned forwards, clasping his hands together.

"Julia, I'm not sure if you know but my parents were killed when I was very young." I nodded. Sure I knew that, the whole world heard about the death of Thomas and Martha Wayne.

"Yes well this dramatically affected my life; it created who I am today. And do you know what else? I never told anyone how I felt about it all. Course I gave Alfred some information but never what I was truly feeling." He paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "That's eaten me away Julia, now I'm changed forever. Bruce Wayne is a façade which I hide behind and Batman is who I really am. Things like this Julia, horrible things that happen which affect us forever, are the hardest to talk about. But, if we don't then we are succumbing to those fears and worries, letting it win. Don't let it win Julia."

I looked down at the rock floor of the cave then back up at Wayne, whose face betrayed no emotion or a hint of a smile. I looked to his eyes and saw a glimmer of understanding in them. Would it really help if I told someone, if I let out everything that had happened to me? Would I finally be able to figure out what to do? It was worth a try. I sighed heavily and started from the beginning.

*****

I told him everything, not just the bits of information I'd told Gordon and him when being interrogated. I told him about my childhood, then coming to Gotham, the cards littering my apartment, being kidnapped, my mother dying, being fired and declared insane, almost dying from a bullet wound and running off with the circus, meeting Dick, coming back, the scars, Harley, William, Dick getting captured, me killing the man at the party, William dying, the nightmares…..Joker, Joker, Joker.

Wayne simply sat there, his eyes never leaving mine, though his mouth twitched in anger countless of times. When I'd finally finished I realized that tears were rolling down my face. It felt like I'd just dumped all my worries and problems on someone else's shoulders, and I wished they could just stay there, that I could separate myself from all the pain and float away. Bruce Wayne leaned forwards in his chair, his blue eyes boring into mine.

"Julia." He said quietly. My name echoed around in my head. It didn't even feel like I was Julia anymore. He repeated my name again.

"You are Julia, not Joker. Julia." I shook my head weakly, looking down at my feet.

"No, I'm just like him. You've said that, he's said that even….even William said that."

"I was wrong, the Joker was wrong and William was wrong." He said. "Being related to someone doesn't make you like them. Looking like your father doesn't mean you're just like him. You yourself have the potential to make you whatever you want to be, genetics have nothing to do with it."

His words lit a small spark inside of me, a small realization. No, I wasn't like the Joker, I was me. But it I wasn't like him then who was I? I shivered and my eyes flickered back to Bruce Wayne's face.

"Then who am I?" I whispered softly. Wayne's face fell and he leaned back in his chair, his eyes focused on mine.

"Julia, I'm afraid that it is for you to find out. You are not the Joker, you are Julia and she can be whatever you want her to be." My eyes found the computer and I read the words written on that screen about me. It said everything from height to mental stability but said nothing about who I was. In a way, it was scarier not knowing who I was than thinking I was a clone of the Joker. It frightened me, but I knew it had to be done. If I was going to fight the insanity, I had to know who I was. The only problem was that I had no clue where to start.

Suddenly Wayne tensed in front of me, and I followed his gaze to a computer screen that was broadcasting the news on mute. The picture that had made Wayne so tense was that of Wayne Tower, covered in flames. And on the top of that building, spray painted onto the roof was a large and frightening red mouthed smiley face with black soulless eyes.

_And so it begins._

_

* * *

_

**Urgh this is so short but I do hope you review and I will seriously update soon, I promise!**

* * *


	39. Chapter 39 Little Robin

**Another short one, I know but it was needed for the next chapter, the last one. Whew! I still can't believe this story is almost done, its incredible. Thanks so much to the reviewers, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**_Disclaimer: Don't own DC comic characters!!!!!_**

_

* * *

_

Julia Samuels

In seconds Wayne was up standing in front of his computer furiously punching away at the key board. Then, he turned and flew down the steps and farther into the cave while I sat in my chair, staring blankly at the picture of Wayne Tower as it burned. _Come one Julia, get it together, _I thought furiously._ You're a talented knife thrower. You can help._

I stood and ran after Wayne running to grab my knives and costume sitting on the surgical table. In an instant Wayne was back in front of me with the cowl in his hands. He grabbed my shoulders forcefully and I jumped, looking to his face. There was pure fury in his eyes as he glared at me.

"No." He growled. I tried to pull away from his grasp but he didn't let go.

"Let go." I growled back. "I can help you." He shook his head at me and I grabbed at his arms, yanking down up so he flew over me. I rolled to the side and stood but not before Wayne jumped up and tackled me to the ground, pinning my arms against the rock floor. I fought for a second, a then growled irritably, my eyes flashing angrily to Wayne's face. He looked back at me, fury still in his eyes.

"Julia, listen to me right now. You are **not** leaving here." I glowered at him and his eyes softened slightly. "Julia, the Joker is going to try and bait you into coming back. Don't try to leave. For the sake of your life and Dick's happiness don't." I glowered back at Wayne for pulling the 'Dick Grayson' card.

"Fine." I said quietly. Wayne huffed and before I knew it my hands and feet were bound by some kind of thick rope. He stood, yanking on his cowl and pressed some button on his belt which caused the computers to turn off, and as I could see from my spot on the ground, the doors lock. Then, with one last look at me glaring up at him he jumped into the car, and it peeled away into the darkness.

The second it was gone I rolled over to my knives lying on the ground. Wayne didn't care if I got free, he thought I wouldn't be able to get out of here. Well he was wrong. I finally got loose and stumbled over towards the computers, trying to turn them back on but to no avail.

I ran over to the doors that led back up to the Manor and pulled. They were locked too and the only way I could get out was by fingerprint recognition. Obviously **that** wasn't going to work. I kicked furiously at the door, my curses echoing around the cave. Wayne was right, I couldn't get out of here. I was trapped in this cave while the Joker burned down Gotham city, and there was _nothing_ I could do.

****

I spent the next twenty minutes fervently trying to find a way out of the cave, screaming in frustration when I found absolutely none. Suddenly, the door from the Manor opened and Dick bounced in, the door shutting behind him. I raced towards me and his happy face turned to confusion at the sweaty and frightened look I knew I had.

"Jewel you okay?" He asked worriedly. I nodded, shaking Dick slightly.

"Yeah I'm fine but its freezing in here, can we maybe go upstairs?" I lied, my head spinning. Dick's brow furrowed.

"Bruce told Alfred that you weren't supposed to leave the cave till he got back." I let go of Dick and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"Okay fine but at least could we watch some TV or something down here, it's pretty boring." Dick brightened at the change of subject and nodded racing over to the computers. He pressed his hand against the panel and the screen jumped to life.

"Bruce programmed my fingers into the computer so I could see the TV but he wouldn't let me see anything else." Dick explained as one of the screens turned on. "What do you want to watch Jewel? Cartoons?" I shook my head.

"No, the news channel Dick, _please_." I said, my voice cracking. Dick changed the channel and once again I saw the picture of Wayne Tower in flames as well as some other key business buildings in Gotham also burning to the ground. But now, there was something new. The commentator was talking about the sight of the Batman as he went into the flaming building to rescue the civilians but how there is absolutely no sight of the Joker anywhere. Suddenly the screen flickered.

"Hang on ladies and gentlemen, we seem to be having technical difficulties I—" The screen went to black then showed a dark a room that I knew too well. My old hideout. The camera shook slightly as it zoomed around the room, showing my belongings scattered on the floor, to the bare walls….wait bare? Those walls had been covered in my drawings.

I tensed as the camera shuffled a bit and the Joker's smug face came into view. _Oh great._ "Evening Gotham!" He slurred. "Sorry about interrupting the broadcast of Wayne Tower crumbling to the ground with the rest of the city but I uh have a little question for my oh so elusive daughter. His eyes seemed to bore out of the TV screen and into mine.

"Hey Jewel I don't think you should watch this…" Dick began, reaching for the clicker. I grabbed it before he could, my eyes still on the Jokers face.

"So sweetheart, you are the only person who knows where I am hm? What are you going to do about it? Tell the police, the Bat, or….are you going to come back to your Daddy, where you _belong_." The Joker wiggled his eyebrows at the camera. "No matter how hard you try Julia, you can't escape that you are me….and that's all you will ever be." The screen went black and I starred at it before it flickered back to life and showed the reporter standing there trying to fix his microphone. In a second I was at the door to the Manor, dragging Dick with me.

"Dick you have to let me out right now." Dick shook his head, trying to pull me away.

"Now Jewel, you aren't supposed to, you'll get hurt, you'll die you'll….I'll loose you." I stopped pulling at turned, seeing Dick's pained face looking up at me.

"Please Jewel, don't leave me again." I knelt down.

"I have to go Dick." He shook his head.

"No you don't, you can stay with me!" I sighed heavily.

"I have to do this Dick, I have to see him, have to stand up to him once and for all. I don't know who I am Dick, I never have. Sometimes I thought I was Jules, or Jewel, or just a clone of the Joker. But, those people aren't me. I am Julia Samuels, except I have no idea of who that is." Dick sunk into my arms and I held him tight as he sobbed, a few tears leaking out of my eyes as I continued talking, more to myself than to Dick. "I need to figure this out and the only way I can do that is standing up to one of my self's, standing up to the Joker." I didn't tell Dick that by leaving him I was leaving Jewel behind, another self that wasn't me. He didn't need to know that.

"P-please Jewel, I can't have you leave too…I just I just can't." I pulled away and held his tear stained face in my hands, my eyes looking directly into his.

"Dick, listen to me." I whispered softly. "I have to go, its something I have to do. But I want you to know that I love you so much, more than anything else. I wouldn't leave if I didn't know that you'd be okay here, and I know you'll be okay." I wiped the tears from his cheeks with my thumb. "I don't want you to cry when I'm gone Dick, I want you to be strong, I'm sure your parents would have wanted the same thing." Dick nodded slightly and I hugged him tightly once again.

Then, I gently let go of him and he sniffed then took my hand, leading me to another door instead of the one into the Manor. He pressed it and it opened. We climbed up the stairs and came out into a garage, expensive cars littering the area. I stood there for a second, staring at the mass amount of cars in shock, before Dick pulled on my hand. I looked down at his sad little face.

"The keys are over there." I looked over to a rack on the wall and grabbed the keys of the Porsche. Then I turned back around and wrapped my arms around Dick.

"Its okay Jewel." Dick whispered finally. "Its okay you have to go." Tears ran down my face and I stroked Dicks hair fervently.

"I love you buddy."

"I love you too Jewel." Dick replied. "You're a good person don't ever forget it okay?" I smiled slightly. _Oh Dick._

"Thanks Dick, and I want you to know something too." I pulled away and held Dick by the shoulders so I could see his face. "Its going to be hard Dick when I'm gone but I know you can do it. You have the makings of a great person buddy but you need to be strong, fly away from it all." I whispered softly. "And, don't ever let **anything** get you down." I stepped away and with one last look at Dick's face, climbed into the car. As the car drove out of the garage and down the dirt path road towards the highway, I could see Dick standing there forlornly, his eyes never leaving me.

_Fly away Dick. Fly away little Robin._

_

* * *

_

**Well, please review and the next and final chapter will be up soon.**


	40. Chapter 40 Goodbye

**I held off posting this final chapter because I wanted to re-read my story. I also re-read all the reviews I'd recieved, and got a chance to see the reviewers that had reviewed every single chapter. You know who you are and you made this story what it is thanks. I have had an idea for a long time of how this story was going to end. I know some of you won't like it, but this is how I thought it should end and what I think worked best. I hope you enjoy it.**

**_Disclaimer: Don't own any DC comic characters, but the plot of Finding the Truth and the characters in it belong to me._**

**Julia Samuels**

I pulled the car into the lot across from the warehouse, my head still filled with thoughts of Dick. I climbed out and walked into the alleyway, looking up at the warehouse in front of me. Suddenly, I saw a figure move in the darkness. Harley. She walked towards me, her big blue eyes looking forlornly at me.

"Hey sweetie." She said sadly. "I uh just want you to know, I love ya lots okay?" I nodded, surprised by the sadness in Harley's voice. She stood their, her tiny fists clenched, standing awkwardly in her slutty costume. Her makeup looked smudged by tears and her eyes stared pleadingly at me.

"I know you uh don't like me sweetie, but you….you are like a daughter to me." I stared at the pitiful woman in front of me and my mouth twitched. She really did care about me; she really would give her life to protect me. And I wouldn't do a thing. Before I could say anything else she cart wheeled away down the alleyway and out of sight.

I moved to follow her however unexpectedly, from the top of the rooftop, I saw a couple of pieces of paper float down towards me. I caught one in my hands and saw a picture I'd drawn of me and my "father" reading stories, grotesquely mauled with red and black pen and the words "101 ways to kill someone by Joe Kerr" across the top of the page. I grabbed at the other pages falling seeing my other childhood hopes destroyed. My head swirled when I caught the last picture, one I'd drawn of William, now with a bullet hole through his head. I turned to the fire escape and started to climb.

*****

I climbed up, past my little hideout and to the top of the roof, before I pulled myself up onto the top, I glanced down and shuddered. The fall would kill me. I stood and saw the Joker standing there with his hands in his pockets, a smirk on his scarred face. I made to move towards him but saw the papers flying about in the wind, scattered all over the roof. There was some of Dick I'd drawn at the circus and left at my hide out, now destroyed, thousands of William dead, his eyes looking blankly at me, my mother dead, and Joker. Picture after picture of the father I'd always wanted; warped into the father I'd been given.

"My little Julia." The Joker hissed as I stared at the pictures littering the ground. "You wanted it all, had it all, lost it all. Now all you have is** me**." I looked at the pictures and all my thoughts of who I was, the times with Dick my mother and William, being happy flew out the window. All that was left was an empty shell, and pain like I had never imagined. I looked towards the Joker who was starring at me expectantly but raised his eyebrows at my sad face.

"Help me." I said.

* * *

**Joker**

"I'm burning inside." She whispered, dark brown eyes wide, eyelashes black and fluttering. Her face was pale, blotches of red on her cheeks, but for the first time I did not picture her blood looking bright against her skin, I only saw the pain in her eyes.

"It hurts so much…" she whispered. "I wish it would go away." I knew what she felt, I knew everything. I'd pushed her to this point, I knew exactly how to. Like baking a cake. A spoonful of death, a cup of depression, a pinch of loss, a teaspoon of betrayal… then the scars themselves. Hers were not visible, but they were there. It had been a lot of fun, pushing her to this point, but now, standing in front of me in that suit of hers, the deep dark purple, knives sheathed all over her body, hair disarray I felt……frustrated. I needed to get away, I shouldn't be caring for her, and it shouldn't matter. The only problem was, it does.

I don't care for others. Why should I? They don't understand me; they're too busy living in the rules and guidelines of life, following like sheep, trying to get up in the flock, not realizing how pathetic they all are. No one gets it, not even the Batman.

But, _**she**__ does_. She knows exactly why, because it's the same for her. She can't stand it. I don't want her gone, I don't want her dead. She's a weapon, powerful herself…but she also gets it. She gets the jokes, gets the punch lines….everything. She's the perfect everything….and she needs to go.

"Help me." She whispered again, tears starting to cloud her eyes. I flicked open my knife. I needed to end this; I couldn't take all this emotion, all this feeling…. She moved so fast, that I didn't even know what was happening until she had her arms around my waist, head on my shoulder. Instantly, my arms wrapped around her. This feeling, this need to protect was unnerving. The wave of emotion was overpowering and I hated it. I had to end it.

I shoved her and she went flying across the rooftop, falling onto the hard cement ground, giving a shout of pain when she hit it straight on. She raised her head, and her eyes locked on mine. There was no hope in those eyes now, they were as black as death itself, holes in her head. The brown was gone. I'd just pushed her to the ground, but in reality off the cliff of sanity into the depths of insanity. She stood, blood trickling from a cut on her head. Her eyes hardened, and she starred at me, then pulled a knife of her own out of its sheath.

"So be it." She snarled. I tried to conceal my surprise and sadness on my face as she began to circle me. Odd thing was, for the first time in my life I didn't feel like the predator, I felt like the_ prey_.

"Come on Daddy." She giggled, a smile on her red lips. "Take that knife of yours and drive it into my heart just like you did to Mommy." She dropped her knife and spread her legs, arms wide. She pointed to her chest.

"Come on Daddy." She hissed. "Watch the blood pour from my chest, see my eyes grow dim. I know you want me dead, I can see it on your face. Only question is, do you have the guts?"

Do I have the guts? Course I do. I tensed, gearing my body up to attack to stop all the emotions all the things that I'd worked so hard to alienate myself from them. My fingers flexed around the handle of the knife and a couple of the papers fluttered in the wind. Suddenly I heard a loud voice from below.

"This is the police, you are surrounded. Surrender or we will shoot."

* * *

**Julia**

"This is the police, surrender or we will shoot."

I started, but not because of the police, because of _them_.

Because of the man from the party, my mother, and William standing a few feet away from the Joker. I starred at them, not able to get enough of William and my mother who were both looking right at me.

_I'm so sorry. _I thought miserably as I starred at the people who I'd man shook his head.

_You saved a boys life by killing me. I would have done the same thing. You are forgiven._

My Mother smiled at me.

_You're my daughter Julia. I'm so, so proud of you, and I love you. You're forgiven._

I looked to William and saw his blue eyes twinkling at me.

_There was never anything to forgive._ I blinked and suddenly they weren't there anymore. Insanity does funny things to you. No, it wasn't real but unlike the nightmares and my own polluted thoughts, it was true. I smiled and looked back to the Joker who was looking wildly around trying to find the police before their guns found him. I saw the movement from one of the buildings and my eyes focused in on the policeman with his gun aimed at the Joker.

"No!" I yelled before I could stop myself. I grabbed the Joker by his arms and pulled him out of firing range, sending me reeling backwards till I was slipping off the roof. I pushed the Joker away from me and gasped as I slid down right off the building.

Suddenly, two hands grabbed mine and I hung there, suspended. I looked up to the Joker who was starring at me, his eyes filled with fury and frustration.

"Oh no you don't sweetheart." He growled. "You don't die unless I say so." He tried to pull me up but the shingles on the roof were so wet it just made him slide off farther. I looked up at his face. It was over. Dick would be okay, Bruce Wayne would take care of him. I'd been forgiven by my mother, the man, and my William. The Joker was the only one left. He wasn't all I had, _I was all he had_.

"You know what?" I said softly. "I should really hate you…..But I don't." I saw him opening his scarred mouth and at that instant, my gloves slipped off my fingers and the Jokers hand fell from my grasp. I started to fall, but not before I heard the tiny whisper from the Jokers mouth.

"Julia." The wind rushed past me as I plummeted, it wasn't long now. I could hope for a miracle but I knew it was time. In the end, I'd found what I'd really come looking for. A father. And even though he was who he is, he was still my father and nothing would ever change tha—

* * *

**Bruce Wayne/Batman**

Out of the many horrible things that come with being the Batman, this is the thing I hate the most. Seeing the broken body lying on the street, seeing the limbs at different ends, blood splattered on the ground. Watching as people crowd around and stare in horror. But this time, people came to see the person they hated for no reason, the person who didn't harm them in any way, who only killed to save the person she cared the most abouts' life.

Julia Samuels may have looked like the Joker, acted like the Joker, even become like him at points but at heart, she was never him. She was Julia. In the end, she was the one person who could stand corruption. She wasn't like Harvey had been, wasn't like Gordon, or me, she never wanted to kill, hurt maybe but never kill. She never completely succumbed to corruption, she was the better of us all. Only the good die young and today I had the sadness of seeing that saying come true.

* * *

**Joker**

She was….gone. Just like that. Her gloves, they'd just slipped off her hands. I'd watched her fall to the ground. She didn't scream once, she just smiled. _Brave girl._ She was my little toy, but now she was broken. Like all other times I shouldn't have cared. But….I did. There was a pain in my chest, just a little pain at the sight of her lying dead. She'd died; she hadn't been allowed to die. Didn't this girl understand anything? She wasn't allowed!

She'd disobeyed me countless of times and she never got it. Now she was dead…and…and….I pulled out piece of paper I'd ripped from her journal such a long time ago, the only one not blowing around in the wind. I looked down at the two stick figures holding hands grinning happily up at me. The only one I'd never marked.

_Daddy smiling._

I let it drop from my hand, flutter to the downwards and turned away from the broken body on the ground, from my Julia's dead and lifeless face looking up at me.

_Daddy smiling_. The police broke open the door and surrounded me on the rooftop, their guns pointed at my chest.

_Daddy smiling._

No, this time, Daddy wasn't smiling.

_***End***_

* * *

**Yes, the Joker is a little different at the end, but thats because even though he tries to deny it, he was affected he did in some way care. However, I hope you all understood that he didn't change because of it, in a way he sunk even more into insanity.**

**Anyways, I would like to again thank all of my reviewers, all of the people who favorited and alerted this story, the many people who gave me ideas, and my beta reader TooManyIdeas who was completely true to her name. I cannot say how thankful I am and how happy I am that my story got so many compliments and reviews. SO THANKS SO MUCH!!!**

**Just for people who are interested in more work from me (if there are any) I will be taking a small break and working on both my new Batman fanfic and other projects. The new Batman fanfic is a mix between an exploration of the Jokers past, the events that lead to the bank robbing at the beginning of the movie and of course his sister, a character I created myself. If any are interested in reading it, I will post a link to it on Finding the Truth when I post it on fanfiction. I expect to start it either during the Christmas holidays or right after.**

**Again, thanks so much to my reviewers and the people who took the time to read my story. It would mean the world to me if you sent me a review giving your impression of this story now it's done, you can simply rate it, I don't need a long review but it would mean a lot. I would also love feedback and constructive criticsm. Again thank-you, thank-you, thank-you.**

**Sincerely **

**MacAttack5**


	41. Chapter 41 New Story Jack and Jill

**Hey everyone. I finally decided to start my new story so yaaay lovely.**

**I'm not sure if any of you are still interested but you're welcome to take a look, its called Jack and Jill just head on over to my profile. It's very different than what I told you about. I will try to update frequently but with all this school stuff and life there may be some breaks in between. Anyway I'm very excited with this fanfic so please take a look at it if you're interested.**

**MacAttack5**


End file.
